Based off of the CPR procedure and how it cause interesting reactions with possessive and jealous-type boyfriends. Mainly dialogue. Enjoy. Please Review & No Flames.

Naruto Belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

CPR

Itachi was outraged, furious and infuriated. However, he was not jealous. He only had an intense desire to keep other people of the male population, quite far away from his beloved girlfriend. Obviously, that explained his raw reaction, when he had been told, by his Brother no less, that Sakura was attending CPR lessons at her High School.

Over his dead body.

"Sasuke-San!" called out Rock Lee. "Your Brother is here, and he doesn't look too pleased."

Paling, Sasuke paused his conversation with Sakura, and looked over his shoulder to see his Aniki saunter easily onto the School's Property. Instantly, a flock of teenage girls swarmed around him, greeting and praising the very ground he walked on. An irritated look passed over his features as he easily ploughed through them.

"You told him didn't you." Sakura accused darkly.

"I don't like the idea of you kissing another guy either. In fact, I don't even like the idea of you kissing my Brother. It's disturbing." Sasuke confessed, suppressing a shudder.

" Idon'tliketheideaeither." Naruto said around the ramen in his mouth.

"What?" Naruto slurped and inhaled the last of his ramen, before placing the small cup on the grass next to him.

"I said, I don't like the idea either."

"Not you too!" Sakura exasperated. "It's only CPR."

"What do you mean 'it's only CPR?" Itachi snapped, finally arriving.

Sighing, and attempting to hide the small tick of her eye, Sakura faced her long term boyfriend. Uchiha Itachi. If she hadn't been his girlfriend, she would have been intimidated by the scowl on his handsome face, but because of the sole purpose that she's his girlfriend, she couldn't. She'd seen him at his most sincere and weakest, watching him give in to his own temptations and inner demons.

"That's exactly what it is!" She retorted. "If I want to become a Doctor, then I at least have to know that."

"CPR is molestation. It lures perfectly innocent, naïve and ignorant girls to spend time with strangers, whom are always older then them, to molest their perfectly good bodies!" Itachi shouted, losing his cool and catching the attention of the people around him.

"I never thought your Brother was capable of being jealous." Naruto pointed out, waiting patiently for another Cup of instant noodles to cook.

"Neither did I." Sasuke replied.

"I'm not jealous!" Itachi scorned.

"If you weren't, then why are you acting like a spoilt child?" She accused.

"I'm not acting like a spoiled child. I just believe that other men should stay far away from you, unless they want a death sentence."

"I spend a lot of my time with Naruto and Sasuke, they're men." She pointed out.

"I don't view them as men."

Choking on his noodles, Naruto shot Itachi a dark glare while Sasuke slammed his foot into his Brother's back. Sakura watched in awe as Itachi recovered quickly, and started a violent fight with his Otouto. Slapping her forehead, she reached forwards and grabbed both boys by their collars and pulled them apart. Glowering, Sakura hissed a string of curses underneath her breath.

"You started a fight, over CPR! That just screams problematic!" Sakura insisted.

"He's the one with problems!" Sasuke remarked, pointing an accusing finger towards Itachi. He glared.

"Me? You're the one who decided to kick me!"

"Naruto, a little help here, please."

Sakura turned around, and found a giant sign hanging around Naruto's neck. 'DO NOT DISTURB' was scrawled, in his messy handwriting, on the sign. He continued to devour his noodles, pretending the argument between Sasuke and Itachi didn't exist.

"What the hell?" She exasperated. "'DO NOT DISTURB!'"

Prying himself from her grasp, Itachi jerked forwards and tackled Sasuke to the floor. He raised his arm, preparing for a punch, but Sakura couldn't allow that. Sighing in defeat, Sakura fell back into her seat with a soft plop sound.

"Fine." She said, sounding exhausted. "I give up. I won't do those stupid CPR lessons."

"Okay." Itachi stated, standing up.

"A little help here, Aniki." Sasuke asked. Itachi offered him his hand, and pulled Sasuke to his feet. The whole while, Sakura watched them astounded.

Itachi fixed his collar, straightening it until it returned back to its' perfection he had it this morning. Sasuke ruffled the back of his hair, returning it back to its' stylish messy state that it usually maintained. Both boys dusted the dirt away from their expensive clothes, transforming them back to the sons of a wealthy businessman.

"What the hell?" Sakura repeated.

"I must take my leave now, after all you three start class quite soon." Itachi declared, smothering his hair with one of his hands, looking fabulously delicious.

"Sakura, I love you." Itachi said, pecking Sakura on the cheek.

"Love you too…?" Smiling, Itachi walked away from the three, avoiding a flock of girls whom complained to him about the display of affection towards Sakura.

"What the hell just happened just now?" Sakura demanded.

"Sasuke's and Itachi's intense desire to protect you from other men, became so strong that it became superior over other priorities and they sought drastic measures to prevent you from completing your CPR course." Naruto explained.

"Naruto…" Sakura trailed.

"Yes?"

"Where did you learn all those big words from?"

I honestly wasn't intending for it to turn out this way, but it just did. I didn't mean for it to turn into CRACK. I still hope you liked it. Thanks for reading. Parewhai.