A Very Jellicle Christmas

"Ooh!"

"Teazah! Shh!"

The tiger-striped queen simply giggled, prompting an exasperated sigh from her partner in crime. She stretched up eagerly, her paws gently removing a glittering silver ball from where it hung on a green, prickly branch. With the utmost care, she deposited the decoration into the sack on the ground, already filled with ornaments and tinsel. The lowermost branches of the tree were nearly bare already, a sure sign that Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had come calling.

"All righ'," Mungojerrie said, standing back a little and nodding at their handiwork. "I think that's enough now. We'd best be gettin' this back to the Yard now, Teazah."

Rumpleteazer nodded and giggled again, deftly tying the top of the bag in a knot. Mungojerrie hefted his own bag up onto his shoulder as the queen did the same, and the two turned to make their escape. Rumpleteazer cast one last glance up at the tree, sighing happily at the sight of all the shining decorations, the brilliant lights flashing all different colors, the string of pearls draped lovingly over the boughs at the very top of the tree…

Rumpleteazer stopped instantly, her neck twisted around to stare at that single string, her eyes widened slightly. Mungojerrie turned to see what had caught her attention, his eyes drifting up to follow her gaze, and then his eyes too widened, but for a much different reason.

"Teazah, no," he said in a hushed voice, shaking his head. "It's too high. You'll nevah get it!"

"I can, Mungo, I really can!" Rumpleteazer insisted, her voice just as quiet. The family was just in the other room, she knew, and though they were happily settled around their dinner (for once, the duo had left their meal untouched, instead focusing on the Christmas tree heist), it would not take much for one of them to come running in an attempt to catch "those horrible cats" in the act.

"Teazah…" Mungojerrie protested weakly, but his voice sounded resigned. Once Rumpleteazer had her mind set on something, there was not much point in arguing.

And no one could change her mind, ever, when it came to pearls.

(Sometimes, Mungojerrie wondered why their humans even bothered with pearls anymore. They had never had a set that lasted longer than a day before going missing, and none of the strings were ever returned or recovered.)

"Fine," he said, shifting his bag over to the window and dragging hers over there as well, so they could make a much quicker getaway when this went wrong. "Jus' make it quick, an' be careful!"

"I know," Rumpleteazer said, grinning mischievously at him. She turned back towards the tree and, her muscles tensed and tail swishing behind her, jumped up nimbly, clinging to the branches and hurriedly rushing up the tree, miraculously avoiding any ornaments. Mungojerrie watched nervously, heart pounding, as she made her way up towards the string of pearls. The tree wobbled dangerously, the ornaments clinking together, but still none of them fell. Still, the tomcat moved out of the way of the tree, one eye remaining firmly on it anxiously.

"Careful, Teazah, don' make it fall!" he called up, but Rumpleteazer didn't bother to answer him. Instead, she disentangled one paw from the tree branches, stretching it out and snagging the string of pearls.

"Catch it, Mungo!" she hissed just before she yanked it free, letting it fall to the ground as Mungojerrie scrambled to get into position, managing to reach the falling string just before they struck the ground. He scowled up at his partner in crime, growling slightly.

"A little warnin' would be nice nex' time!" he hissed, but Rumpleteazer merely giggled again. The tomcat retreated back to the window and watched as the queen shifted from side to side, twisting her head around to look down beneath her, obviously looking for a way down. The tom groaned.

"Don' tell me you can't get down!" he whispered just loud enough for her to hear. Rumpleteazer growled softly, but shook her head.

"Don' worry, I can! But, uh…you migh' wanna get out o' the way," she added quickly, just seconds before Mungojerrie saw her muscles tense and realized her intention.

He muttered a little curse under his breath, snatching up the bags and flinging them out of the open window, ignoring the little tinkling sounds that told him that some of the glass balls had not survived the throw. He jumped up onto the sill himself, hesitating before following the bags, and turned just in time to watch Rumpleteazer make her leap.

The tiger-striped queen hit the floor gracefully, landing already at a run and using her leftover momentum to jump up onto the sill beside Mungojerrie. She was out the window in an instant, only the tiniest rustling of grass an indicator of her gentle landing, and then she was hissing for Mungojerrie to hurry.

The tree, however, did not fall so gracefully.

It rocked wildly for a few moments after Rumpleteazer's jump, swaying to and fro as the ornaments rocked and fell loose, bouncing off of each other and rolling along the floor if they did not shatter instantly. Mungojerrie could hear the human family crying out to each other, those horrible cats were at it again! And still the tree rocked and swayed.

Just as the sound of chairs scraping back against the floor could be heard, informing Mungojerrie that the family was coming and he had better get out of there, the tree made its final tilt and came crashing down.

Glass flew out in all directions as the decorations shattered, pine needles filling the room with their scent as they were crushed beneath the branches.

At last the thief jumped free of the window, hitting the ground next to Rumpleteazer and grinning at her as outraged cries sounded from just inside.

"Nice one," he told her, and the queen grinned back at him wildly, obviously thrilled with what she had accomplished.

"Thank you," she said primly, preening herself slightly. "You got the pearls?"

Mungojerrie nodded, presenting the string to her proudly. "O' course," he said, and she took them eagerly, draping them over her neck in a loose loop.

"We'd best get whatever's left back to the Junkyard," Mungojerrie said after a few moments of listening to the family rage and cry from inside. With a final look back at the window, the two thieves took off, towing their stolen prizes behind them.

A/N: I'm probably going to post these until I get bored. Or until Christmas. I haven't decided how many yet, but I guess it depends on how much free time I have with nothing to do but sit around and play Solitaire and check to see if my grades are posted yet every five minutes. I've got plans for Mistoffelees, vague ideas for Demeter and Bombalurina, and I'm probably going to end up doing most of the kittens too because I always seem to end up writing the kittens. Munkustrap is already written. If you've got a favorite cat, feel free to make a suggestion! I'll probably post at least a few a day from now on.

By the way. I'm not entirely happy (or at all happy) with this ending, and I know that the situation was kind of predictable...but it was fun to write! Hope it was amusing anyway.

Disclaimer: I do not own Cats or any of its characters. (Didn't feel like putting this at the top, for no particular reason.)