How Far We've Come
Chapter 6
Disclaimer: I own Camille and Jamie.
*Flashback*
Jamie had been living in Florida for about a year already, and to be completely honest, she was really enjoying her life there. She had no reminders of her former relationship with Stu there. It wasn't keeping her thoughts of him at bay, but it was easier to not have the reminders of him everywhere that she went. She still struggled with her feelings for him on a daily basis, though. Jamie really wanted nothing more than to be over him already, but that clearly wasn't happening for her any time soon. She knew moving on from him would be hard, but this was just insane.
On the bright side, Jamie had created a whole new life for herself. She had a great job that she really loved, some great friends, her own condominium in Tampa. Things were looking really great for her on paper. Hell, on the outside, Jamie nearly had the perfect life already. The only thing she was missing in her life was Stu. Unfortunately for her, that was the most important piece of the puzzle.
When Jamie had begun teaching English to the students in Vivian Gaither High School, she quickly became friends with her fellow English teacher, Camille Lombardi. The two women really bonded and became close quite quickly. Camille knew all about Jamie's ex-boyfriend Stu. She saw how hard her friend had tried to be happy. It just wasn't really working out for her. She was missing the one person she truly needed.
Camille was constantly setting Jamie up on dates with potential boyfriend. It took a while for her to finally agree to go, but once she did, she found herself comparing everyone to none other than Stu.
That was why it never went very far. No one was as good as the mean she was missing, and Jamie was nearly positive that wouldn't ever change. It was starting to dawn on her that if she didn't stop doing that, she would probably end up alone for the rest of her life. And that thought hurt her.
*End Flashback*
"Man, what happened in there?" Paul asked, as Stu sat on the couch, looking completely miserable.
"She wants time," he replied.
"And what did you say?" he replied.
"I said 'okay'. What was I supposed to say? No? It's not like that would really help my situation," he rhetorically asked.
"Okay. I know she's your wife, but I might have to go ahead and hit her. Jamie's completely miserable without you. Everybody knows it. I really need to knock some sense into her."
Camille walked into the living room. "Stu. I thought I heard your voice," she said, walking over and giving him a hug.
"Hey Cami," he greeted, his voice void of any emotion.
"How are you?" she asked.
"Miserable. Terrible. Awful," he listed his feelings, honestly.
"Go talk to Jamie. Maybe you two can fix things. Then, neither one of you will have to be so down."
"Tried that," Paul interjected.
"And it didn't work?" she asked, shocked.
"Nope," Stu replied, his eyes staring down at the floor. "I'm pretty sure I've lost her for good…and if I do end up losing her, I don't…I mean, I wouldn't even know what to do with myself," he explained. "I need her."
Camille frowned. "Maybe I should talk to her," she suggested.
Stu shrugged. "Jamie isn't easily swayed. If she doesn't want to be with me, I can't force her to."
"But that's just it, Stu. She does want to be with you. The woman is absolutely crazy in love with you," she confidently told him, knowing that truer words were never spoken. "And trust me, you didn't see her when you two had been broken up, when we first met. She was a wreck," Camille pointed out.
"Well, if she wants time, like she said she does, I have to give it to her. I just love her so bloody much," he spoke, his voice giving away how devastated her truly was over this entire situation.
"Listen, Stu, I'm sure things will start looking up soon enough. You two are soul mates. You'll always end up back together," she said, sitting next to him and wrapping an arm around his shoulders, trying to be comforting, though she knew that without Jamie, nothing she could do would help him.
"I hope so," he solemnly spoke.
"She'll come around, Stu," Paul insisted.
Jamie remained in bed, the freshly cried tears soaking her black pillowcase. The tears continued to pour out of her eyes. Seeing Stu again just killed her. It was all getting to be too much for her to handle. He looked so distraught and that made everything so much harder for her. When it came to Stu, she could never really hold it together, when it came to her emotions. This time was no exception. She had invested her heart in him all those years ago and wasn't ready to completely take it back.
Hell, Jamie was nearly positive that she could never get her heart back from him. In a way, she knew she was destined to always love Stu. She could never get rid of him.
There was a knock on the door. "Come in," she weakly called, her voice still distorted by her misery.
The door slowly opened, and Paul walked inside, quietly shutting the door behind himself. He walked over to her and sat down on the edge of her bed. "Jame, come here," he said, softly, feeling badly for his friend. She sat up, and Paul pulled her into his arms, on his lap. "I came in here to yell at you about what's been going on, but I can't look at you crying and not feel upset myself," he explained. "There's no reason for this, Jame," he whispered, gently rubbing her back.
"I just don't know what to do," she sobbed. "Our relationship is so hard. He's always gone, and I can't deal with it anymore."
"But do you remember how terrible you felt the last time the two of you had broken up?" he asked.
"Yeah."
"And you think missing him permanently is going to change? Or would you rather miss him for a little while, and them, you can get to be with him for a little while?" he asked her, trying to make his point clear.
"I don't know…"
"Come on, Jamie. He's your husband, and the guy loves you more than he loves anyone or anything in the entire world," Paul told her. "I mean, he's willing to quit wrestling to be with you."
Jamie buried her face in his chest and continued to cry. "I just don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore," she cried.
"I know, sweetie. It's hard. It's really fucking hard. I'm not even gonna lie to you, it's gonna be this way for a long time, but if you really do love him, and if he really loves you, then, there's no reason for the two of you to be so miserable without each other," Paul tried reasoning with her.
"It's just hard to adjust to, Paul. I don't know what I'm supposed to do about my feelings anymore."
"You need to talk to him. I mean, you really need to sit down and have a long, serious talk with him."
"I can't handle seeing him."
"He's your husband."
"I know."
*Flashback*
"So, how are things going with Evan?" Camille asked with a smile.
"Really good. He's such a great guy," Jamie replied.
"I'm so happy that the two of you worked out so well," she said.
"Yeah." Jamie couldn't lie about it. She was really happy that Camille had set her up with Evan. She had been with him for the past five months, and things between them were going really well.
But that didn't really matter in the long run. Stu was still on her mind. They'd been broken up for over four years, but for some strange reason, Jamie couldn't seem to let him go. Stu was still the man she was completely in love with, and she was beginning to understand that she would never be able to let go of him. This was something she was just going to have to learn to live with.
"He's really cute, right?" Camille asked.
"He is, and he's a real sweetheart," Jamie agreed. "He's a really awesome guy. Thanks for setting us up."
Camille smiled. "Of course. I'm just really happy that the two of you are working out so well."
Jamie forced a smile on her face. She had become so used to forcing fake happiness on herself that it had become seemingly genuine. "Me, too," she convincingly replied. It wasn't that she didn't like Evan. To be quite honest, she really did like him. It just wasn't the same as it was when she was with Stu.
Jamie could see herself loving Evan in the future. It just didn't feel the way it was supposed to feel, and that was the downside. But it was okay. She knew that she would continue learning how to live without him, and she would learn to let someone else in…even if it wasn't the same as it had been. At least she wouldn't have to live the rest of her life all alone anymore.
"I'm happy that you're finally acting like a normal person. When we first met, I thought that you were really quiet and unhappy," Camille said, smiling at her friend. She knew that Jamie wasn't 100%, but she was willing to take her victories where she could manage to get them.
"Aw. It was really hard for me at first, but I'm finally getting used to missing…him," she said with a nod.
"Well, look at the bright side, at least you've finally got someone else who can take your mind off of him now."
"Yeah. That definitely helps," she pretended to agree, even though she didn't mean the words.
*End Flashback*
That night, Jamie was laying in her bed. She couldn't stop thinking about her husband and how much she really missed him. When she and Stu did have time together, during their relationship, they used to spend so much of it cuddling and talking. That was her favorite thing to do. She felt so loved and special when she was with him. One thing that could always be counted on with Stu was that he could make her forget about all of her problems. The entire world didn't exist when they were together.
If she could be anywhere in the world right now, Jamie would want to be with Stu. She loved the way he'd play with her hair and press sweet, little kisses to the top of her head. She would run her hands across his torso. She'd never felt so content and safe in her entire life. She needed that, and she needed him right now.
Jamie closed her eyes as the tears began falling out of them again. It was as if that was all she did anymore. Her heart ached. She felt empty and alone without the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. Jamie softly sobbed into her pillow, as her hands gripped the cotton pillowcase.
"What am I gonna do?" she thought aloud. She felt as if her world was falling out from underneath her.
Maybe everyone was right about the situation. Maybe it really was about time Jamie spoke to Stu about how she was feeling about everything that had been going on. She couldn't do this anymore. It absolutely killed her to miss her husband this much. It destroyed her to think she had already begun trying to end her marriage, when she knew she really was supposed to be with Stu.
No one could ever truly love her the way that he could. Nothing ever felt so right, as when she was with him. Stu was her soul mate. She was not meant to be with him. And it was about time that she start trying to work out their problems, as opposed to just walking away from them.
A/N: Yay for new chapter! So much drama. I totally love it lol Let me know what you guys think :o) If I know everyone's enjoying it, it tends to make me want to update more lol Also, please vote in my poll! You guys can choose the which stories I write. Power to the people! lol Thanks to everyone who has been reading, alerting, favorite, reviewing. I love you all :o) Thanks! XoXoXoXoXoXo