In this story, New Directions (plus Kurt and a few Warblers) argue about one different thing each chapter over Facebook! It doesn't sound anywhere near as funny as it is.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Finn Hudson: Thinks pizza is the best food ever invented by man. Seriously.

Kurt Hummel: Finnbar Conrad Hudson! If you are suggesting that you have been eating more of that processed crap, I will "clean" the kitchen again.

Finn Hudson: I'm not, I'm not! Relax, Kurt. Take deep breaths.

Tina Cohen-Chang: What does he mean by "Clean" ?

Finn Hudson: When Kurt got home from Dalton for Christmas break, he went through the kitchen and threw out all the good food in the house! I'd been saving those Peeps for a year, man.

Kurt Hummel: You disgust me.

Noah Puckerman: *snickers* Finnbar Conrad?

Finn Hudson: Kurt!

Kurt Hummel: *bats eyes innocently* Yes, my favorite stepbrother in the whole entire world who I would be devastated if he ever yelled at me?

Finn Hudson: Having to live with Kurt Hummel is kinda exhausting.

Noah Puckerman: Cannot stop laughing. Seriously Finn, read back what you just wrote.

Rachel Berry: How juvenile, Noah.

Kurt Hummel: Is having his first date tonight!

(Quinn Fabray, Rachel Berry, Mercedes Jones, Sam Evans, and Blaine Evans like this)

Blaine Evans: Aww, you're excited! How adorkable!

Sam Evans: Don't give Kurt a hard time, Blaine. Kurt, he's been blabbering on and on about this for the last week and a half. "Oh my gosh, what do I wear? When it's two boys, who pays, or do we just split it? What if we wear clashing outfits? Should we coordinate?"

Noah Puckerman: *snorts* Yeah, Blaine. "Don't give Kurt a hard time". LMAO.

Kurt Hummel: What are you even doing on this status, Puck?

Noah Puckerman: Whatever I damn well please, Kurt!

Kurt Hummel: *slaps Puck across face with a fish* Wait, Blaine, how do you know Sam?

Blaine Evans: You know Sam?

Kurt Hummel: Yeah, he's in New Directions. How do you know him?

Sam Evans: You haven't told your boyfriend that you have a brother?

Kurt Hummel: WHAT?

Noah Puckerman: WHAT?

Rachel Berry: WHAT?

Blaine Evans: He's not my boyfriend, for the millionth time, Samuel.

Kurt Hummel: You have some explaining to do, Blaine. And Sam.