Characters: Shuuhei, Yumichika
Summary: "Excuse me if I can't stand the sight of you atrophying."
Pairings: None
Warnings/Spoilers: Spoilers for Soul Society arc
Timeline: post-Soul Society arc
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.

"Ayasegawa, what are you doing here?" Shuuhei tries as best he can to be polite, but politeness only goes so far and his incredulity eventually wins out and the question is blunt, direct and to-the-point. He'd like an answer now. "And please, get your feet off my desk. You'll get dirt on the paperwork."

"Why should I care about the paperwork?" Yumichika asks with a coy smile and a flash of lavender eyes up at him. "It's not mine, after all." He seems perfectly at home sitting in Shuuhei's chair with his feet propped up on Shuuhei's desk, even though he shouldn't even be there at all.

This is the point where Shuuhei decides to just see what Yumichika wants and prays it has nothing to do with the brawl that took place last night. God, was that a nightmare. "Okay, I'll bite. What are you here for?"

Yumichika shoots a glance up at him. "I'm here to make sure that pallor you've developed after spending the past three weeks locked in your office isn't the sign of any physical malady."

Shuuhei can only glare. "Get out."

"Not happening." Yumichika drums his fingers on the desk and stares up at Shuuhei and the latter is left to felt as though he's a raw recruit called into his captain's office over some misconduct. "You know, you are considerably less lively now than you were when you were trying to kill me three weeks ago."

Blood makes the back of Shuuhei's neck hot. "Yeah… Isn't it obvious why?" Shuuhei asks bluntly, trying not to think of Tousen-taicho.

Yumichika nods. "Yes, it is. And it's obvious to everyone that you have fallen into a distinct torpor. Well—" he smiles blandly "—it's obvious to me, anyway."

Again, glaring is the only option. "Ayasegawa, I fail to see how this is any of your business."

Lavender eyes turn skywards. "Excuse me if I can't stand the sight of you atrophying. If you look close enough you might see some mold on your skin, but if you want to decay while your heart's still beating, that's up to you."

Shuuhei sighs. "I liked you better when you were trying to kill me, to be honest. You're a sight less creepy when you're not trying to be friends with someone, Ayasegawa. Now please leave. I've got a lot of paperwork to be doing."

Yumichika does get up, but he doesn't leave and his reaction leaves Shuuhei reeling with horror. "No, you don't, Hisagi." Yumichika's expression is one of veiled sympathy that is quickly buried as he grabs Shuuhei by the wrist and starts to drag him from the office. "You're coming with me."

"What?" Shuuhei exclaims, alarmed. "Why? And to where?"

"I'm taking you to therapy, Eleventh Division style. It involves a lot of bleeding and a lot of broken bones, and it might just kill you, but it always, always works."