-Day 1-

I can't believe it! That big Swede agreed to switch glasses! Sure Lolita got pissed off…I bet that damn French moron gave that colorful vocabulary to her. The conversation is as follows.

"You're a jackass! How dare you do this to me Daddy! A heroine like me would never do something this fucking stupid! It'd be like Batman and Superman switching costumes. It just doesn't fucking work!"

I have to pass that idea on to the comic staff…Batman and Superman switching uniforms WOULD BE FUCKING EPIC! I feel sorry for Sweden if he pisses her off, but I doubt he can…from what Finland said he's nice (which I don't believe he's fucking scary!)

Iggy's currently helping me. Damn I love that man so fucking much! He's doing everything…I just wish he wouldn't cook…I don't want to die!

~ Alfred F. Jones

-Day 2-

Boss called today…I had to ditch the meeting with him and he got PISSED! When I told him why he practically cussed me out! Don't worry Mr. President, the HERO will be alright!

Iggy trying feed me his charcoal shit…I've been using it as fertilizer for this plant he has…may that plant R.I.P.

~ Alfred F. Jones

-Day 3-

IGGY KICKED ME OUT! WHAT THE FUCK MAN? All I did was have him do everything then complain when he didn't get me Mac Donald's!

SHIT, I left my phone at Iggy's! Meh I'll get it later.

~ Alfred F. Jones

-Day 4-

My head hurts…I'm outside Iggy's place…hopefully he'll let me in to get my phone…and food. I'm glad this isn't Russia…I'd be frozen by now…

IGGY LET ME IN! Maybe a love song…no he'll think I'm Francis…and I do not want THAT treatment.

~ Alfred F. Jones

-Day 5-

I LOVE Iggy! He took me back in and I got Mac Donald's and a huge blanket, and kisses…okay not kisses, but I got…sorta pity? Anyway, it's awesome I got help again!

~ Alfred F. Jones

-Day 6-

My head still hurts…booze didn't help at all…made it worse…going to sleep it off now…

~ Alfred F. Jones

-Day 7-

Today is the day! Don't cry Lolita! Your HEROIC Daddy is coming!

~ Alfred F. Jones

Post-meeting Entry

I CAN SEE, IT'S A MIRACLE! Chewy got beat up…poor Mexican…I wonder why? Oh well. Lolita's getting over her cold…I don't think I'll trade a state again…she kinda got mad again and went all Switzerland on my ass…she's fucking SCARY! I hope she and Switzerland never meet…that'd be one hellish friendship!

No WONDER Chewy gave her to me…oh right…she won her own freedom. Yes…she is behind me cussing in Spanish, but I fixed it! Now I know how Iggy feels. Where did I go wrong with her?

~ Alfred F. Jones