Ugh. Finally.

I may one day come back to this, make it better. Perhaps I'll update it next Christmas, and re-post it along with whatever other project I have at the time.

Warning: This chapter contains a lot of cheesy/sappy/goofy moments, toxic amounts of fluff, a little bit of darkness from the past, along with a preview towards the end to another Megamind Fic I'm writing. Not the multi-chapter one, just a one shot. I won't tell you what it is, but it is pre-movie, and cookies to you if you get it. It is also very long.

Oi. Get your antacid ready.

"It's Chriiiiiiiistmaaaaaaaaaaaas!"

Megamind had no time to duck, or prepare himself in any way as the curvaceous form of his girlfriend plowed into him, sending both bodies crashing to the ground as they wrestled over the extra-large Santa hat Roxanne was trying to pull over his head.

"AAAAUUUGH! MINION! CODE: I'M BEING ATTACKED!"

Roxanne grinned evilly as she pinned her alien beneath her and yanked the hat down as far as she could before leaning down to kiss the end of his nose. "Megamind! Guess what?"

The alien cowered under her, flabbergasted by the uncharacteristic excitement. "What?"

She grinned and leaned down to pull him into a neck-crushing hug. "It's Christmas!"

Megamind chuckled weakly. "Yes. Yes it is Roxanne. Happy Kroosmas my dear."

Roxanne straightened, though she continued to straddle the wriggling blue body as she craned her neck to see what was on the table he'd been working at. "What're you making now, babe? You're not supposed to be working!"

Megamind's eyes grew even wider as his struggles increased. "They aren't for the city! Don't look!"

Roxanne's smirk became mischievous as she pressed one hand against his chest and leaned towards the table, the tips of her fingers just barely brushing the thick blue paper. Megamind let out a strangled cry, and before she understood how it'd happened, she was flipped onto her back, Megamind holding both her wrists in one of his hands, stretching them out above her head as he used his free one to whistle. "BRAINBOTS!"

Roxanne tried to throw the alien off, still grinning evilly as they struggled for control over the other. "Awwww, c'mon Megs. Let me see!"

One BrainBot finally tottered into the room, his dome buzzing lethargically, as though it had just powered on. Megamind let out a fantastic 'OOF' as Roxanne flipped them over and lunged for the blueprints. "Quick! Get the papers and hide them! HIDE THEM!" He yelled as he threw both arms around her waist and pulled her ample backside down into his lap. The BrainBot, startled awake by the flurry of activity, darted forward and quickly rolled up the stiff blue sheets before zipping away with them just as Roxanne wriggled around in Megamind's grip and forced him onto his back once more. She stared after the Bot with an exaggerated pout.

"Awww… Why won't you let me see?"

Megamind wriggled uncomfortably beneath her, trying to pull his wrists free from where they were pinned on either side of his impressive cranium. "Because, Miss Nosy reporter. It's none of your bizz-whags. Now let me up, woman!" He declared.

Roxanne chuckled, and decided on doing just the opposite. She leaned down and pressed her lips against his. "Merry Christmas, Megamind."

Megamind chuckled again, happily falling limp beneath her now that the blueprints were safe. "Merry Kreesmas, Roxanne."

Twenty minutes later, the back of the news van was loaded with Minion and about a dozen steaming dishes of Christmas delicacies. Though there would only be the four of them, Roxanne and Minion both knew exactly how massive both alien's appetites could be. Next to the food were boxes full of presents from Roxanne and Minion, while Megamind held his, much smaller and well-hidden, box in his lap to protect it from their curious eyes.

The ride out of the city was a short one, filled with the sounds of Roxanne's favorite Christmas songs and her slightly off-key singing along. On the other side of the bridge, they spotted Joel's car, and when they turned onto the overgrown, unused dirt road that lead up the hill, it fell into place behind them. It took another ten minutes or so to make it to the end of the little spit of land, and to the faded red Lil' Gifted School for Lil' Gifted Kids building.

Joel whistled as he clambered out of his car, eyes on the building. "So this is where you went to school, huh?"

"Mmhm." Megamind hefted his and Roxanne's boxes into his arms, leading the way up the path to the door. "My old shoolhouse…"

Joel and Roxanne exchanged a quick look behind the alien's back as they ushered him inside, Minion lumbering in behind them.

Music Man greeted them at the door, his booming voice easily cutting over the others as the chaos of getting in the room and finding places for the gifts around the twenty-foot tree bedecked in blinding gold lights and baubles.

A matching tree stretched across Music Man's chest on the white cashmere sweatshirt, and on his head was a hat of the same material. He carried in a tray of steaming hot cocoa, forcing the mugs into his guests' hands before his own grabbed his guitar, starting on some horrible, off-key rendition of Jingle Bell Rock.

To everyone but Megamind.

The other three cringed, grimacing at the aliens as their voices mixed together in the dramatized duo.

Roxanne handed out stockings, having self-appointed herself as Santa. Music Man had his own stocking, knitted for him by one of his many nannies in the past. It was gold and white with stars around the brim, stuffed with some of his favorite hair gel and a copy of the new Jackass movie on top of his candy. Roxanne had to make stockings for Joel, Megamind and Minion, and she was pretty proud of how they'd turned out. Joel's had a very beautiful menorah with golden candles, filled with a new pair of hand-knit gloves, two tin cans of his favorite coffee dippers, and of course, candy. Minion's was stitched with a cheesy interpretation of Anthony Shiels' Nessie puppet, wearing a Santa beard and hat. She'd searched high and low for the last five days, and found a bunch of cans of 'gourmet fish food' for omnivorous fish. Megamind's stocking was blue, with a gold-and-silver lightning bolt slashed across the fabric. She'd knitted him a new hat, rolled up with the newest copy of 'Heroes Weekly' and a note saying he'd received a year's subscription to the magazine.

Her first surprise of the day came when all four men pulled out an extra-large stocking from behind Music Man's couch and set it before her, grinning like idiots.

She stared at it with huge eyes as Joel pulled her into a tight one-armed hug. "You guys didn't have to do this!"

"But you got us all stockings, Miss Ritchie. And you certainly deserve one from us."

They'd gotten her everything from bath salts to her favorite specialty hot chocolate, from a new scarf to a ticket to a day spa downtown. Her eyes grew watery and her voice caught as she stood and gave them each giant hugs and a quick peck on the cheek.

Then it was time for Christmas Dinner (Christmas Brunch, really, so they would finish in time for Joel to go home to his family), and the group crowded around the dining table Music Man had rented under a false name.

It was loud, warm, cheerful. For two out of five, this kind of thing was normal: a crowded table during a holiday, surrounded by loud loved ones and mountains of delicious food.

For three out of five, this was very strange. All in different ways.

Minion was more at ease with this, as though he'd been attending holidays all his life. He'd never resented the fact that he and Megamind were shunned by the more savory of the community members, only ever embraced by hardened criminals. But he'd never been completely okay with the fact. His master had missed out on so many things, and, by association, so had he. He didn't mind at all: he was too busy protecting his master, nursing the alien back to health after a particularly taxing battle, making sure Megamind didn't blow the lair up. Again. Here, surrounded by the people he'd come to call friends, it all felt… right.

Music Man and Megamind were feeling, in their own ways, much the same. Only their feelings were much deeper.

Music Man had a cold, structured childhood. The dining table was long, and the dining room was silent. Holidays at the Scott household saw festive decoration, but there was no singing around the tree. There were mountains of presents, but no hugs on Christmas morning. If they went to parties, he was dressed in a scratchy suit, made to stand with his shoulders back and hands folded behind his back. He was occasionally fawned over by others, shown off by his parents, but then business would pop up in conversation and he was shuffled off to the side to wander through the crowd. No other children, no friends, no family, no one to talk to. There was no cheer in the holiday. Now, even living underground, on his own, there was love that came with the gifts. They were stuffed into the single-man eating area, but he was quite comfortable. It was, in fact, cozy. Something he'd never before experienced.

Megamind had… no real childhood. His late teen and adult Christmases were spent setting his BrainBots on the tree in front of town hall, or going on crime sprees with Minion. Crashing Christmas plays, harassing carolers, things of that nature. But when he was younger… He could recall one Christmas, before he'd really started enacting actually villainous plans, he'd gone out to find food for him and Minion one Christmas eve. He'd been walking past a row of townhouses when voices drifted from a partially opened window. He'd peeked in to see a little boy about his age, seated on his knees in his chair, leaning against the table as the rest of his family moved around it. He'd felt a surge of , unreasonable hate for the lad. Why did this little worm deserve the warmth, the feast, the cheer? The love? Roxanne's hand found his under the table, and he squeezed it happily, sending her a sideways smile. He'd never imagined he would ever be in this situation… Or in any of the situations he'd been introduced to through Roxanne. He finally had… a family.

Dinner finished, and they crowded around the tree, leaning back in their seats and patting bloated stomachs. Content to sit and talk as they digested. Twelve-thirty rolled around, and they decided it was time for presents. They flopped into their backsides around the tree, Roxanne wriggling up against Megamind's side as Music Man knelt by the present pile so he could hand the packages out. He quickly sorted through them all, and tossed the brightly wrapped parcels to their new owners.

The next fifteen minutes or so was a flurry of paper, bows, and sometimes packaging. Minion eagerly pulled the packaging off the new plastic house for his tank and set about replacing it with the old one that had been there for years. He'd also gotten a new apron and matching mitts, and a deluxe membership to the aquarium on the coast that he'd always wanted to go to. He then came to the large plastic tube, and shook it. He unscrewed the cap and pulled out three rolls of stiff blue paper.

"Blueprints?" He murmured. He opened the first one, stretching it out in front of him and studied the plans. Confused, he bobbed higher in his tank to see over the paper. "A tank, sir?"

Megamind nodded. "I know you don't much like swimming at the beach or the lake, because of the pollution. And there are all those huge storage bunkers below the lair." The alien smiled up at his friend. "I thought I'd turn one, perhaps more, into your own lake. With special pumps to adjust the water to your tastes, and other fish for you to socialize with. If you'd like, of course."

Minion could only stare in shock at his master, his jaw dropped towards the bottom of his tank. "Th… Thank you… sir. Yes, I'd… like that, very much."

Megamind grinned at his fishy companion. "I'll be starting sometime next week, and it'll probably be finished in another."

Minion smiled back warmly at his friend. "Thank you sir. This is… this is wonderful."

Joel opened his presents next, and when he came to Megamind's, he opened the small parcel and pulled out a bracelet and a disk. Both were blue with a round, black plastic device with the silver Megamind logo in the center. Joel pulled on the bracelet, grinning goofily as he held up the disk. He figured it was one of the blue man's inventions. What it did, however, he was unsure. "Alright green-eyes. What's it do?"

Megamind's smile became a little smug. "A bit of genius, really. I've been developing a larger one for years, but it's never worked out quite right. This, smaller one though, works just as planned. You see, Roxanne told me some time ago that you'd been having shoulder problems, because of the weight of the camera. The disk is attached to the side of your camera- it's not magnetic, so it won't harm your camera- and begins a cycle of signals to and from the wristband once you put it on. In a nutshell, once the device was warmed up, it renders the camera practically weightless, without any harm to the machine, or you."

Joel held out the bracelet in a showy way. "Not a bad fashion statement, either. Thanks handsome."

Then it was Metro Man's turn. He opened up two new guitars, and spent a minute or two strumming and tuning them with a delighted grin on his face. He also opened a luxurious, fluffy new robe and matching slippers before lifting Megamind's gift.

He stared down at the old, but still well-cared for ukulele with a hint of confusion, which only intensified when he noticed the nervous grimace on his ex-nemesis's face. "Well… when I was at the mall… I spoke to a young woman who told me gifts are supposed to mean something between…" He took a deep breath. "Between you and the person who receives the gift. And then I remembered the ukulele you used to play when we were in school…"

"It disappeared…" Music Man murmured. "I loved that thing."

Only Roxanne, leaning against the alien, and Music Man, with his enhanced vision, noticed the tiny cringe that came from the blue body. "Well… I stole it because I was jealous of how the others liked you, and liked it when you played the ukulele, but when I tried…" He trailed off and shook his head. "I don't know why I kept it all this time, but I thought… Since it's from a shared part of our pasts… it'd be a… a peace offering. Of sorts. You know. Bygones and all that. Friendship…" Megamind cringed again. "Sort of asking for forgiveness for all of my faults between u-OOOF-"

Megamind jerked forward beneath Music Man's meaty palm, dragging a laughing Roxanne with him as Music Man clapped him on the back. "Maybe we aren't so different, little buddy. Open mine."

Megamind dramatically twisted his back, popping his spine as he straightened and pulled his gift from Music Man into his lap. He ripped the paper away, tossing it behind him as he stared down at the aluminum pan.

The two aliens stared at each other over the popcorn, Music Man's expression nervous and Megamind's awed. The room was completely silent for the first time that morning, until Megamind's face split into a huge grin. "Thanks… Wayne."

Music Man let out a relieved sigh and pat Megamind on the back again, knocking the smaller alien forward once more. "Merry Christmas, little buddy."

He opened his other presents, practically giggling like an excited school girl as he pulled a set of pictures from an envelope to see a full set of shiny, new, personalized tools. His logo was engraved into the metal sides of the hand tools, and painstakingly painted on the sides of the powered ones. All these were carefully arranged in a new tool case, standing nearly as tall as minion and painted black and blue like his suit. The set was extensive, filled with every attachment, every size… It was "Incredible!" He declared, hugging Roxanne and Minion as tightly as he could. Already, his fingers were itching to wrap around his shiny new toys and invent the hell out of… things. His present from Joel was a pair of personally made sunglasses, special ordered from one of Joel's friends who worked for one of his favorite designers. Megamind slid them onto his face, amazed by the way they fit perfectly onto his abnormally shaped features. Roxanne dove into her purse for her compact and held it up to show him his reflection. He thanked Joel and, with the utmost, almost overly exaggerated care, began to wrap them back up in the dust cloth before replacing them in the case.

Finally, Roxanne began to open her pile. Joel had bought her a bottle of the amazing designer perfume, guaranteed to 'make your man wild with a single spritz'. As though to prove the bottle's point, Roxanne couldn't help but notice a certain alien straining as he leaned even closer, as though trying to appear like he wasn't when she tested the scent out on her wrist. She giggled as she turned her head just enough to plant a kiss on his shoulder before opening the rest of her presents. Minion had built her an almost-replica of the holowatch, made to look smaller and more feminine. It could be, if she agreed to it, outfitted with a tracking device in case she was ever kidnapped by another villain. There was also a setting that would send a small electrical charge through an attacker's body, temporarily stunning them. Another prominent feature was its ability to communicate directly with Minion and Megamind with a simple voice command. There were others, and he promised to give her a full lesson. Music Man had ordered her a new designer winter jacket that fell to mid-thigh and hugged her features.

With those opened, she wriggled happily as she opened the long, almost flat package marked from Megamind.

Inside was a single red rose and a note. She quirked a brow sideways at her boyfriend, but he was smiling up at the ceiling.

I couldn't think of a material way to tell you how I felt. Your gift has to wait for sunset. But for now, enjoy this rose and the rest of the two dozen that are waiting for you at your apartment.

LOL-MM.

Roxanne smirked up at her boyfriend, only to find him still smiling determinedly at the ceiling. She noticed how taut his jaw was, and how forced the smile seemed now.

And she wondered what surprises she'd find later tonight.

Around one-thirty, they cleaned up, said goodbye to Music Man and Joel, the latter of whom followed them away from the school house, and into city where the two vehicles finally parted ways. Roxanne drove them back to the lair, exchanging a quick kiss with Megamind as Minion clambered out of the back.

"I'll be at your apartment at around five."

Roxanne smirked a little deviously and pulled him forward by the collar of his shirt for another quick kiss. "You still aren't gonna tell me what it is?"

Megamind shook his head to clear his thoughts as a lazy grin found its way onto his face. "If I did that, it wouldn't be a surprise. See you tonight, Roxanne."

He escaped before she could try and weasel it out of him, and with a slight pout of defeat, she backed out of the lot and drove herself home.

For the next few hours, she sat curled on her couch, sipping a mug of her new cocoa and frowning thoughtfully at her rose-laden coffee table, trying to profile the alien man. Of course… her efforts brought up little to help her figure out what he had planned tonight. Dinner? No… most places were closed. He couldn't cook, and she had a feeling that on this occasion, he wouldn't ask Minion to make a big, elaborate dinner for them…

She let out a frustrated growl and threw her hands into the air before she hauled herself off the couch and headed for a quick shower and a change of clothes.

Whatever he was planning, her date would be here soon.

She heard the HoverBike as she was putting in a pair of earrings. She grabbed her jacket and jogged out to the living room, throwing her arms around Megamind's neck as he grinned at her. "Ready?"

"Yep." She pulled the heavy jacket on and wrapped her new scar around her neck, tucking it inside her coat so it wouldn't get blown away.

Megamind helped her up onto the bike and clambered on behind her.

The monstrosity of a vehicle roared to life and fell away from the railing, sending them flying towards the city limits.

They flew for what felt like an hour, though that may just have been the anticipation Roxanne felt. The city fell away behind them as the bike shot across the water, parallel to the bridge.

"I never thought," Megamind called over the sound of the bike and the wind rushing past them. "That Metro Man and I would find the same side of the river to hide on."

The bike began to descend, dropping from the sky gradually until it came to a stop about a foot above a stretch of old, frozen, yellowed grass. There were heaps of trash all around, and the few trees were gnarled and dead-looking.

She cocked a brow at Megamind as they slid from the bike, and he held up his hands in defense. "Now… I know, this isn't what you expected. But… This isn't… it alright? Just…" He held out a hand nervously. "-follow me."

Roxanne hesitated only for a moment, before she reached out and took his hand. She didn't know what to expect. She was… almost afraid to think of what might happen.

They walked for a few hundred feet, picking their way through mounds of trash, around oily rocks and over half-exposed roots. Most of the snow they saw was sludge, melted and turned brown by the pollution from the bridge and nearby highway. Roxanne was beginning to wonder if she should demand to know exactly where they were going, when an ancient, dilapidated building rose from the barren landscape. If it wasn't for the upheaval of land next to the little building, it would have fallen over long ago.

She looked to Megamind again, but he just pulled her forward.

He finally released her hand and jogged towards the face of the building, grunting as he pulled back a piece of thin, flimsy corrugated siding. She had a brief image of Aladdin leading Jasmine up to his home, and felt a faint flutter in her chest as she squeezed through the small opening.

The inside was dark, lit up only by the glowing dome of a single BrainBot. Roxanne let out a startled yelp, jumping back as Megamind entered, only to step on his foot and cause him to fall back out through the opening. The BrainBot darted away, smacking into the siding and giving off a series of mechanical barks until Megamind bounced forward and pulled the panicked machine against his chest, stroking it like one would a cat. "Shh, shh now! You just frightened Miss Ritchie! There's no danger, calm down-" He eventually talked the little bot down, and with a sarcastic eyeroll, released it. The BrainBot let out a dejected sort of sound (in Roxanne's mind, at least) before bobbing up into the rotting rafters.

That was when Roxanne looked around.

With the light as high as it was, it cast an eerie sort of glow throughout the whole building.

It lit up half-finished and broken pieces of equipment. Small machines that looked like early versions of the BrainBots, and a few contraptions that looked like failed bodies for Minion. Newspaper clippings, blueprints, and pictures that looked like they'd been colored by a small child wallpapered the sides of the building and rotten support beams. A specific one caught her eyes, just to the left of where she stood, and as Megamind moved to follow the path of the BrainBot above him, righting the things the machine had knocked over in its panic, she bent slightly and came face-to-face with a newspaper clipping she recognized very well.

The young Metro Man, his hair still dark, his face unlined… Except for the angry red crayon marks that covered the picture. It wasn't just his face scratched out though.

There hung the young Megamind, his feet dangling almost a foot off the ground as he clawed at Metro Man's hand. His face blotted out by the same angry scribbles. Even after all these years, she could recall that day perfectly. Her first kidnapping.

She briefly touched the picture, sadness creeping into the corner of her heart. There'd been a lot of rage there… A lot of… hate…

She turned away before Megamind could see her, wrapping her arms around herself and watching with a twinge of amusement as he argued with the bot, trying to pry an old invention from its mandibles.

He finally pulled it free and tossed it onto the table, shooing the bot away. It let out a grumbling sort of bot and bobbed towards the corner this time, to hover down onto the cot behind the small table she'd just now noticed.

Megamind turned to her, his smile shy and vulnerable. "This… I… I found it when I was young and… not even Minion knows about it." Roxanne's eyes widened with shock, and he took it as a cue to continue. "Well… you see, I was rather upset one day. Back before he'd become Metro Man. I… I was having a… horrible day. Sometimes, I'd leave Minion at… wherever we were staying, and just walk on my own for a while. Steal money, food, pick up scrap metal. Make other people miserable. But this day… I just started walking, and I didn't stop. Until I got tired, and sat on a rock and looked around." He was babbling now, talking almost too quickly for her to understand. "And then I saw this place and… and I just kept coming back. When things got to be… too much." He dropped his head, his fingers interlaced behind him and he waited for her to respond.

He didn't look up until he felt her hand on his chin, coaxing it up so she could look him in the eye. To his astonishment, she was wearing a soft smile.

He opened his mouth again, unable to stop himself. "I know, it's a dump. There's trash and pollution and… and a few pests, but…" He trailed off, wondering if she would understand.

She did.

Her lips met his with a crash as she pulled herself as close to him as possible. Without hesitation this time, his arms came up around her, wrapping themselves securely around her back until he all but crushed her against his chest.

When they finally broke apart, their foreheads fell together as their panting mouths pulled back into cheeky grins.

"So… this is… a good gift?" He asked, cautious hope coloring his voice.

Roxanne nodded. "I can't believe you shared something this secret with me. Not even Minion…?"

Megamind shook his head. "He knows… of it. He's tried to make me tell him where it is that I disappear to, because he worries about my safety. Gangs, traffic, falling… my general clumsiness. He insists that he wouldn't come with me, but…"

"But this place is just for you." Roxanne murmured, her entire face soft as she gazed up at him from under her lashes.

"And you, now." He clarified. "I know it's tra-"

"Shh!" She pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "Stop it with that. I can believe you shared this with me! This is… wow Blue. You… are a many-faceted man, Megamind. And I know there are still a lot of things I don't, and may never, know about you. But… sharing this… important piece of yourself with me… Thank you."

Megamind dropped his hands to wrap around hers, and backed towards the rear of the building, pulling her with him. He led her towards the cot and the table, pulling out the solitary chair for her before diving beneath the improvised bed.

Something drew her eyes skyward, and she realized with a jolt that part of the roof was gone, maybe caved in. A sheet of scratched, weather-worn fiberglass was haphazardly placed over the hole. It was just clear enough to see the stars.

She lowered her gaze when the sound of his head met the bottom of the cot. She tried not to laugh at his garbled curses as he pulled his head out from under the cot and flopped onto the side of it. "I… It's cheesy… I… brought cider and cookies." He lay the aforementioned things out on the rickety table along with two Dixie cups and a few napkins.

Roxanne chuckled at the extreme dorkiness of the alien sitting across from her. "Don't be so nervous, Blue. This is really sweet. Romantic. In your… own way." She took the Dixie cup he held out to her, and raised it back towards him. "Merry Kroosmas, Megamind."

The grin he returned was positively ridiculous as he tapped his cup against hers. "Merry Kroosmas, Roxanne."