The Master On David Cameron

Disclaimer: Doctor Who does not belong to me. Neither, thank goodness, does David Cameron.

A/N: Sorry if it's bad. I wrote this in about five minutes. Does what it says on the tin, really. What would happen if the Master knew he'd been replaced with David Cameron.

The Master was bored.

Really, really bored.

And it was all because of that stupid, deluded Martha Jones and her rose-tinted view of the Doctor. Damn her and her message of hope. She'd defeated him with hope. Bloody hope!

And then Jack bloody Harkness had had to go and stop Lucy shooting him. Of course, Jack had thought she wanted to shoot the Doctor. Not that it mattered; whatever Jack had thought it had resulted in the Master being hauled off to the TARDIS and handcuffed to a chair for four hours.

Now, some time (because you were never quite sure how long ago things were on this ship) later, he was lounging on a sofa in front of a telly, idly flicking through the channels.

The news was on. Earth's news, for the 11th May 2010. The Master threw the remote onto the seat beside him and settled down to watch it.

There had been an election in England, by the looks of things. An election that seemed to have resulted in several days of arguing and some grovelling by the Lib Dems. Apparently they'd reached a decision. The news cut to a shot of the front door of 10 Downing Street.

The Master froze.

His hands clenched into fists and his jaw locked. His eyes, suddenly filled with the burning anger that had driven galactic leaders to beg him on their knees to spare them, narrowed into slits.

"No. No! No, no, no, no!"

He shouted something unintelligible and threw a book at the telly.

"How dare they! How bloody dare they!"

The Doctor, terrified that the Universe was once again under threat, burst into the room, eyes wild and hair in a mess.

"What? What is it? What's happened?"

"Look!" the Master jabbed a finger towards the television.

The Doctor stared blankly at it for a few seconds and sighed. "Oh. That."

The Master shook with rage. "They've replaced me with David fucking Cameron!"