It had hurt him much more then he had let on when Penny walked out of his life, or more appropriately, when he had pushed her to the breaking point. In her defense, she had tried to make it work. Sheldon had no illusions about this matter.

She had tried very hard. He did not know when it happened. Somehow, someway, Penny had made him fall into what some may call "love" with her. She had been able to claw her way into his life and settled in nicely, right by his side. When he suggested that they attempt the social paradigm of dating, she had surprised him with how long she seemed to have been waiting for him to ask. They "dated" for six months before they moved in with each other. Everything seemed fine at that point, at least to Sheldon. But he soon felt himself longing for solitude, longing to return to a life where he slept alone, where he did not share a bathroom or eat breakfast with someone.

He knew she knew. She started falling asleep on the couch when she noticed he would purposely turn his back to her in bed. He knew he should have insisted she join him in the bedroom, but he never did.

He grew short with her. All he wanted was to be left alone to do his work and she just seemed to be distracting him, hampering his pursuit of a Nobel Prize. Over the years, Sheldon had not grown particularly more "socially aware" but he had grown extremely "Penny aware." So he could tell when she approached him with the news that she was pregnant she was elated, which made her all the more heartbroken when he merely nodded and returned back to his work.

He supposed that had probably been one of the major breaking points for her, but she held on a little longer. Sheldon had made a feeble attempt when he accompanied her to her first sonogram. Her eyes filled with tears of joy when she heard the heartbeat, and said breathlessly "it's beautiful." At the beginning of their relationship Sheldon would have bit his tongue, but not then, and proceeded to explain how Penny could not make that claim and doubted she would be able to distinguish between her sonogram and another.

He never went with her to another appointment. Leonard, Raj and even Howard all went with her a few times, but he never went again. Leonard had of course given him grief for his behavior, but, as he always did, he disregarded his opinion as idiotic.

Penny tried to involve him in picking out names, as if he could be concerned with something so inane, so irrelevant, and he had no problem telling her so. There were nights when he would hear her throwing up in the bathroom, and all he could feel was revulsion and annoyance that he was being kept awake. When she didn't come back he pretended it was because she felt sick, not because she was crying alone on the bathroom floor.

He stopped kissing her and hugging her all together, it was not something he made a habit of anyway but he never rejected her when she initiated said contacts, but he couldn't even muster up enough energy to indulge her. He was, after all, on the cusp of a break through and could not be distracted when a Nobel Prize was finally in reach.

He felt nothing when he returned home that day to find all her belongings gone and a note on the fridge.

"Sheldon, I wish you well and hope you can forgive me for trying to make you something you are not. You're not a father, you're not a boyfriend, you are a scientist, and there is nothing wrong with that. You are fine the way you are and it was wrong for me to try and change you. So long you beautiful-mind-genius-guy. I can't wait to read somewhere that you finally got your Nobel Prize, and I hope it's everything you dreamed. Love, Penny."

You're not a father. Why did that sting? Why should that hurt him at all? It was very true. He chalked the initial feelings of nausea and loss to the fact that his routine would now have to change. Penny had become a huge part of his life and it would take him a while to adjust to her absence. That was the problem, it was not that he missed her.

Given his total lack of emotional investment in the matter, it was no wonder that he was shocked by the sudden sensation of being kicked in the chest when saw a familiar flash of gold as he passed a store window. He should have kept walking, but he couldn't, he was frozen in place. He had just left the comic book store and was walking home (just because certain circumstance had made the acquisition of a driver's license and motor vehicle a necessity, he did not enjoy it). He should've kept walking, but he couldn't, something was fixing his gaze on the woman on the other side of the window. She was, to this day, still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen up close. She did not look anymore aged in the even years that had passed, but she had matured. Her clothing style, her hair style, she was no longer the sexy blonde girl-next-door, rather she was every bit the chique sophisticated woman. She was bent onto her knees hemming the leg of a white karate gi that was obviously too long for the wearer. Sheldon's eyes traveled from Penny to the tiny wearer of the outfit being altered.

If someone were to ask, Sheldon would avidly deny his breathe caught slightly in his throat when his eyes met the face of the little girl, now six years-old approaching seven. He would say that the term "to take ones breathe away" is nonsense as a human does not have that ability without delivering either great news or horrible news, or punching you in the chest, but just looking at a person was not enough. But he knew the truth.

If she were walking down the street without Penny, Sheldon would have known. Her face was a mirror image of Penny's, save the icy blue eyes, though they too lit up in a way his rarely did. Her hair fell in thick long curls around her face. The curls were perfect, like Penny's, but they bore the same chocolate brown color seen on his entire family.

He watched her lively expressions for a moment, she laughed in such a way he could almost hear it. She laughed with her whole face, just like Penny did. He had almost beat that out of her by the end of their relationship, metaphorically speaking of course, as Penny would best him easily in a physical confrontation.

Sheldon suddenly realized as dizziness overtook him that he was not breathing. This was ridiculous, irrational . Yet here he was. He felt a shock go through him when blue met blue. There was a five second span where they just looked at each other. Suddenly the eyes lit up and a beaming grin lit up her face. Sheldon had the distinct feeling that she knew something he didn't. Sheldon's face changed from one transfixed to a deer-in-the-headlights look.

The little girl suddenly jumped off the stool she was standing on. Penny rushed after her, still not noticing him. Sheldon heard the bell above the door of the shop ring as it flew open and the little girl clad in all white ran out and took a flying leap into his arms. Sheldon was not certain how to react, he forgot momentarily what cesspools children were, and he didn't quite have the indecency to shove a young child away from him to the concrete ground.

"Zoe..what the hell…o…"

Sheldon blew the curls that had flown up into his face away from his eyes so he could look at Penny. She stood, shocked in front him. She opened her mouth but all that came out were feeble attempts at noise, no words, no coherent thought.

Now, even Sheldon knew that this was a particularly awkward social interactions, it was not just him making it awkward.

"Mommy," squealed the little girl. "It's my father…I knew I'd find him, I knew it. Mommy said you were here!"