Gilbert had taken up a new hobby, and despite going against his very nature, it was a platonic one. He started watching Ludwig cook. He propped his right leg up on the counter he was sitting on resting his right cheek on top of his knee. Ludwig was cooking dinner although he had decided to not wear his apron that day. Gilbert smiled thinking about how cute Ludwig was in that pink apron he hated so much. Yet he had not donned it that day and Gilbert couldn't help but admire how handsome his brother looked in a white long sleeve collard shirt with the first few buttons down and a pair of light slacks.
Gilbert's smile widened and softened when he took note of how Ludwig had changed over the years. His baby brother had taken pause from his military-man domineer. Ever since WWII ended Ludwig was no longer allowed to carry a gun, so he did some light training in case he ever needed to defend himself. Yet his brother had lost a great amount of weight because he was loosing most of his muscle mass. Contrary to what everyone thought the change suited him perfectly. Ludwig was very tall but now he was also very slim, the angles of his body softer and more pleasing to the eye. When it came to a hand to hand fight Ludwig had the advantage of a quick and elegant grace, with a hidden strength in his now smaller frame.
But for Gilbert, he was happy with Ludwig's physical change because it reflected the fact that his brother was very approachable. And ever since the end of the war, when everyone worked so hard to be able to trust or decently be in the same room as one another, Ludwig's personality had slipped right back into its proper place-except it seemed like Ludwig was even more amicable now.
During the war, Ludwig had changed into a man nobody-not even Gilbert-recognized anymore. Ludwig had given into his boss and it had had devastating consequences. And although Gilbert had been the first one to admonish Ludwig in a way that would get through to him, he was also the first person to defend Ludwig. Gilbert had vehemently reminded the other nations that were so quick to condemn Ludwig that they had done equally terrible things. He'd stalked around the conference table, red eyes boring into any that dared to speak against him, as he reminded Alfred that he was the only country that hadn't given up slavery yet, that Francis had sentenced one of history's bravest women Joan of Arc to burn at the stake, that Antonio had ruthlessly hunted down any non-Catholics in Spain with his infamous Spanish Inquisition. Every single one of them had a moment of their history that would shed them in a blood splattered light, but Gilbert refused to let the world try and take Ludwig away from him because he had finally encountered his darkest hour.
Gilbert squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and took a deep breath. He knew Ludwig's anguish he still felt sixty years later. It was all too often that Gilbert would awaken at night to be greeted with the sight and sound of his brother softly sobbing into his pillow. Ludwig was sound asleep when he did it though, and he never remembered in the morning that he cried, yet it was his guilt coming forth through his subconscious.
But Ludwig wasn't a bad man, and Gilbert was tired of people thinking so. Ludwig wasn't evil, he had no intentions of taking over the world, and he wasn't as scary as people thought he was. Most of the other nations realized that, and their friendships with the younger man had grown stronger, but Gilbert knew what they all thought. They still thought Ludwig was insane. And it was slowly but surely breaking Gilbert's heart.
He wanted everyone to know the Ludwig he did. He had raised the man in front of him from a little boy to a great nation. He wanted people to know that Ludwig had a big heart, and he was just as capable of giving and receiving love as the next person-perhaps even more. Gilbert swallowed the rising lump in his throat and the former nation looked at his younger brother.
The younger man was standing by the sink washing vegetables and Gilbert felt the wind knocked out of him. In the late evening light Ludwig's handsome features looked even softer and more beautiful and his bright blue eyes sparkled. It was hard to believe that Gilbert had the right to call this man his younger brother.
"West," Gilbert whispered before he even realized he'd spoken, "Come here." He held out his hand and Ludwig walked over slightly curious and slightly worried.
The younger man twined his fingers with his brother's and Gilbert realized that Ludwig's fingers somehow looked even longer and slimmer than they had the day before. Another sign of weight loss-it was then Gilbert furrowed his brow. He didn't want Ludwig to become ill from the constant decrease in weight. Gilbert took Ludwig's hand into both of his and slowly turned it over. His veins and tendons no longer showed, and the skin was smooth and no longer calloused.
Gilbert flashed a smile then reached up to ruffle his sibling's hair and let it fall naturally working the stiff gel out of the slicked back look Ludwig was fond of. The pale haired man looked at his work and was rather pleased. When Ludwig's hair was down and it looked natural, falling around his eyes the younger nation looked even younger. As far as Gilbert was concerned, Ludwig was physically turning back into a sixteen year old version of himself with all the wisdom of hundreds of years of life. And it suited him perfectly.
"It takes me a while to get my hair to stay like it was you know," Ludwig commented a slight smile gracing his lips.
Gilbert looked up at his younger but taller brother and ignoring his brother's previous remark said, "I'm so proud of you Ludwig."
The blonde man flinched. His brother barely ever called him by his name, and he never said things like that.
"What?" he asked confused.
"I'm proud of you," Gilbert repeated letting his genuine feelings out. Gilbert was shocked when he felt the back of Ludwig's hand against his forehead checking for a fever. The younger man was seriously worried that something was wrong with Gilbert.
"Bruder are you not feeling well?" Ludwig asked nervously.
"I'm fine Ludwig," Gilbert said smiling, "Why?"
"Because you never say things like that," Ludwig replied confused.
The simple truth stung Gilbert for a moment. Ludwig was right- Gilbert almost never said nice things to his younger brother anymore. When the taller man had been a little boy Gilbert had no problem hugging him, or kissing him, cuddling with him, and soothing his fears. He didn't mind taking on the role of a father and a brother, but he'd never said "I love you" to Ludwig when he was small. And he barely ever said nice things now. Gilbert's smile faded into a frown.
"I'm sorry Ludwig," he whispered. The former nation didn't miss the expression on his sibling's face. Ludwig's pale blue eyes widened and his mouth dropped open a few centimeters. He looked as if he was in extreme emotional turmoil. Gilbert let out a surprised gasp when Ludwig leaned foreword and wrapped his arms around Gilbert's slim waist and buried his face in the crook of his older sibling's neck.
"Bruder, tell me what's wrong?" came muffled and upset plea. Gilbert sighed and ran his fingers through Ludwig's no longer gelled locks.
"I've just been thinking too much that's all," he explained hoping to sound normal, "you know I always say stupid stuff whenever I think about something for too long."
Did Gilbert just admit he did something wrong?
"Bruder…" Ludwig almost whined. He didn't get it. Why was Gilbert acting like this? Why was he saying things like this? Ludwig almost preferred a snide and mean Gilbert to a caring one. It didn't feel natural for his brother to act like this.
"Ludwig listen to me okay?" Gilbert said softly. There wasn't any reason for him to hold back his thoughts. He loved his younger brother with such ferocity it was frightening. He just never showed said brother that he did. 'Don't hold back now,' Gilbert thought to himself.
"Ludwig I love you," he said hoping his voice wouldn't crack. But his eyes stung when he felt Ludwig jump at the simple words and start to shake. "I've loved since the moment I saw you," Gilbert continued, ignoring the fact it was a simple whim forcing his to spill his heart, "All I've ever wanted is to make sure you're happy. I want you to smile and to laugh. I don't want you to be alone. I want you to become an even greater nation than me. Succeed where I failed Ludwig. Make Germany last forever, but don't be stupid again and try to make an empire. They never last mien liebe. Just be you-be Ludwig. I don't want to see people afraid of you. I want people to love and want to be with you just like I do. Okay?"
Gilbert swallowed glad that his voice had stayed even for the most part. He was happy he could tell Ludwig what he felt after all these years, but he knew that this was so out of character for him. He hoped Ludwig would believe him.
Ludwig stayed silent for a moment before he swallowed thickly and hesitantly asked, "Gil do you regret reunifying with me?"
Gilbert sucked in a deep rapid breath ignoring the growing moisture in his eyes. He tightened his grip on Ludwig as much as he could crushing his younger sibling to him.
"Not for a single moment," he replied honestly, "I kept waiting for the day I could see you again."
"Then why did you leave me?" came the pained question.
Gilbert clamped a hand over his mouth to stop from crying. His heart was being ripped in two, and he could feel Ludwig's bangs tickling his neck and constant plips of water against his exposed skin. Ludwig was crying again.
Gilbert fisted his hands in his brother's golden hair and said, "I couldn't bear to watch what you were becoming Ludwig. I couldn't watch you turn into a man I didn't know anymore."
"…Then you still hate me too don't you?"
"No," Gilbert cried out desperately, "I've never hated you no matter what you've done."
"Then why are you telling me all this?" Ludwig asked. It wasn't as if he didn't like Gilbert telling him he was loved, but he couldn't comprehend what would make his self-centered brother behave in such a way.
Gilbert sighed slowly thinking about what to say. Somehow 'I've become a sappy old man didn't seem to cut it.'
"I just figured it was time for me to be honest with you I guess," he stated softly. Ludwig was his family; did he need a reason to tell the younger man he loved him? Gilbert couldn't think of one.
"Thank you," Ludwig mumbled ignoring the heat that had rushed to his cheeks.
"For what?" Gilbert asked in a slightly teasing tone. Ludwig paused for a moment thinking about how un-manly it was going to be for him to say this, but if Gilbert was allowed to spill out sentiments today then why couldn't he?
"For loving me," he mumbled embarrassed.
"You don't need to thank me," the older man replied laughing slightly, "I can't stop loving you even if I tried."
"Have you tried?" Ludwig asked.
"Nope, never wanted to." Ludwig smiled happily and pulled back to look at his older brother. Gilbert gently wiped Ludwig's face clearing the tear tracks from his cheeks.
"I'm sorry I upset you," he said paying special attention to how attractive Ludwig was right then. If Ludwig would stop slicking his hair back then girls would be falling all over him, and maybe he would find the right one.
"You don't have to be sorry," the blonde replied leaning into his older brother's touch, but his gentle expression changed to one of worry.
Why was Gilbert staring at him like that?
"Bruder, what is it?" he asked seriously considering running away from that predatory gaze. But when Gilbert blinked it was gone.
"Oh I uh…I was just thinking that you look really cute with your hair down like this," Gilbert smiled.
"It makes me look like a little boy," Ludwig mumbled angrily hands fisting his Gilbert's shirt.
"Look Ludwig everyone knows how much of a man you are. You don't need to look like a military body builder to impress people. Besides there are a lot of girls who like you little Bruder," Gilbert teased. He bit his lip when Ludwig flushed even more.
"Was I really that bad?" Ludwig asked already cringing while thinking about the answer.
Gilbert felt guilty but replied, "Just a little bit."
Ludwig sighed defeated before he said, "Well…I guess I won't try to build myself back up to where I was. Besides if a girl other than Belarus that likes this then…well…"
He cut himself off when he realized he was talking about women with Gilbert of all people. That was just asking-no begging-for trouble. But despite his womanizing nature Gilbert said nothing and rubbed Ludwig's already red cheeks.
"Are you okay?" he asked finally.
"Yeah," Ludwig whispered.
"Then come here and give your big brother a kiss," Gilbert said slyly. He chuckled when Ludwig crossed his arms and looked away, but was definitely not pouting. When Ludwig had been a little boy he'd always asked for a kiss before Gilbert left home for any reason. Back then it had been a quick and innocent peck on the lips, but now Gilbert couldn't help but use it as an opportunity to unnerve Ludwig just a little bit.
Ludwig thought about trying to escape his brother's grasp, but trying to get away from Gilbert was like trying to get away from an elephant sitting on top of you. He huffed before he leaned foreword and quickly met his brother's lips before pulling away his face burning from ear to ear.
"Thank you little brother," Gilbert cooed pleased, "I'll leave you alone now if you want."
He tried to hop off the counter but Ludwig gently pushed his back on and latched onto his sleeve. He deliberately avoided eye contact with Gilbert, after all it was his fault Ludwig was now teeming with emotions he wasn't used to sharing.
"Um…I'd like it if you stayed," he said stealing a glace at his brother.
Gilbert's crimson eyes widened for a moment before he relaxed and scooted into a comfortable position on the counter. Satisfied that Gilbert wouldn't leave Ludwig went back to preparing the night's meal.
Yet Gilbert was still focused on his new hobby. But as he watched Ludwig now he couldn't stop the continual memories flooding his mind, about the beautiful boy in front of him. He knew Ludwig was a full grown man, he knew Ludwig could take care of himself, and didn't need him anymore. But he looked so young then, and like Gilbert had told him many times before; he wasn't going anywhere.
He refused to leave his baby brother by himself, for both of their sakes.
The End.