Title: Warmth
Author : Miya Morana
Fandom: Supernatural
Beta : peppervl on livejournal
Pairing: Sam/Gabriel
Rating: PG-13
Warning: A bit dark at first
Summary: The nightmares come every night. Ever since the Apocalypse That Wasn't, ever since a newly resurrected archangel dragged him out of the Pit, out of Lucifer's Cage, Sam fears the moment when sleep takes a hold of him.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, blah, blah, blah, you know the rest.
Word Count: 1157
A/N: Written for the "nightmares" square of my schmoop_bingo card.
The nightmares come every night. Ever since the Apocalypse That Wasn't, ever since a newly resurrected archangel dragged him out of the Pit, out of Lucifer's Cage, Sam fears the moment when sleep takes a hold of him. Dean doesn't ask anything, bless him. Sam suspects he, too, had nightmares when he came back. Maybe he still does, Sam doesn't know.
He tries staying awake as long as he can, but the job is hard and exhausting, and going on a hunt sleep-deprived puts not only him in danger, but Dean as well. When he gets his ass kicked by an ordinary ghost, he gives up and decides that he'll just have to suffer the nightmares for as long asthey last. After all, they can't last forever. Can they?
Sam's eyes close of their own accord as soon as he stops fighting to stay awake, and the cold, dark blanket of sleep wraps around him, tugging him into unconsciousness.
It always starts the same way. Sam can feel the bright flame of Lucifer's Grace in his mind, taking control of his body, pushing him back to the role of mere spectator. Lucifer's fury and hatred burn cold inside him as the Devil uses Sam's hands to paint the walls red with the blood of anything, of anyone unlucky enough to cross his path.
Humans, demons, guilty murderers or innocent bystanders, Lucifer hates them all. He laughs in Sam's head as he rips their hearts out with Sam's hands, and Sam can feel the spark of life go out in his victims. Sam can feel everything.
But he knows it'll get worst after, that the nightmare will shift to the Pit, to its endless tortures, to its flames of pain ripping his body and soul apart before putting them back together, only to start again. He knows he'll feel Lucifer's Grace being twisted and torn out of shape too, will feel an infinite pain his mind isn't made to comprehend, something so awful that it'll jar him out of sleep, and Sam will end up either screaming in the dead of the night or crying silently and shaking in his bed until sunrise.
There's a familiar shift in the dream, and Sam doesn't even bother bracing himself anymore, because it's useless. He closes his eyes, ready to feel that inhuman pain all over again.
But it doesn't come.
Instead, there's warmth wrapping around him. It's strangely familiar, like he's felt it before, but Sam can't quite place it. He opens his eyes, finds himself in a cocoon of bright, comforting colors.
The warm presence grows stronger, and it's both endlessly loving and terrible in a way Sam can't quite grasp. There's fury as cold as Lucifer's, but it's layered with pain and regrets and forgiveness. This being wraps its love more tightly around Sam, and the last of his fear and pain melt away.
"God?" Sam asks, his voice no more than a whisper, though it sounds loud in the peaceful silence of his mind.
The answer comes as a chuckle, a chuckle that Sam would recognize anywhere.
"Guess again, kiddo."
Gabriel appears before him. Sam can see him, his true form, all light and thunder and wings, love and fury and peace, and at the same time he sees him like he was back when he last saw him in that dreadful motel, all smirk and playful leer.
The archangel's hand brushes against Sam's cheek, and Sam leans into the touch.
"You saved me," Sam says, and he's not sure if he's talking about how Gabriel dragged him out of the Pit, or how he just ended the nightmare, or how he gave Sam hope that he could beat Lucifer when Sam didn't think he could ever feel anything even remotely like hope anymore.
Gabriel's smile seems to understand all that Sam isn't saying, which he guesses only makes sense, since they're probably in Sam's head.
"I'm sorry it took me so long," the angel whispers. "So long to stand up to my family, so long to drag you out of the Pit… So long to check up on you and stop your nightmares. Things in Heaven have been a bit hectic, I must say."
"I…" Sam licks his lips, raises a hand to cup Gabriel's cheek in a mirror of the angel's position. "I didn't think you cared. About me. I thought you saved me because God asked you too, and then just flew away."
"Then you're an idiot, kiddo," Gabriel smirks, but his voice is soft, and the colors around them twirl with the angel's affection.
"Yeah, I guess I am."
Sam presses his forehead down against Gabriel's, breathes in his strength and his love. He doesn't ever want to move from here, from this place, from this warm embrace. They stay like that for a very long time, though time doesn't seem to really mean anything here.
Eventually, Gabriel leans away. "Time to wake up, Sammy boy," he says softly.
"I don't want you to go," Sam admits, tightening his hold on the archangel as if he could really stop him from leaving.
"I'll keep watch on your dreams," Gabriel promises, "I won't let the nightmares come back."
Sam shakes hi head. "That's not what I mean. I want to be with you. I need to be with you. I've been feeling so alone ever since I came back, and I just couldn't figure out what was missing until you came back to me."
"Time to wake up, Sam," Gabriel says again, smirking.
The colors of the dream fade away, and the archangel slowly disappears with them. But the warmth stays, follows Sam into awareness. Sam's eyes flutter open, and he notices the sun's already up. He can't remember the last time he was still asleep at dawn.
There's a firm, though somewhat small, naked body pressed against his back, and an arm is wrapped around his waist. Playful lips brush against his shoulder as Sam tangles his fingers with Gabriel's.
"You're here," he smiles, and turns around to look into the archangel's eyes.
"Been here all along," Gabriel smirks. "How else was I supposed to get inside your head?"
Sam huffs, then proceeds to kiss the smirk off Gabriel's face. The archangel's mouth tastes so good that the kiss ends up lasting much longer than he had planned.
When they finally part, Gabriel chuckles softly.
"What?" Sam asks, too relaxed and happy to get mad at the angel in his arms.
"I was just thinking of how your brother will freak out when he wakes up."
Sam sighs, pressing his forehead against Gabriel's, just like he had in the dream. He can hear Dean shuffling in the other bed, knows his brother is close to waking up, but he can't bring himself to care.
"Shut up and kiss me," he says.
Surprisingly, Gabriel seems only too happy to do as he's told.