A/N: Oh my gosh! I posted the chapter! Yeah, more about the hiatus in the post a/n. I also want to thank everyone who commented and favorited. There were SO MANY. I will try to get to them all over the next day, but please know that I'm incredibly grateful and so happy that so many people are enjoying it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight nor any of the characters therein.

Ch 12

At first the room was completely dark, and then at some point I realized that I had closed my eyes, cringing away from whatever it was I had to see. I knew it wasn't good. Slowly I opened one eye, then the other. I unfurled my fingers, leaving grooves where my nails dug into my palms, and unscrinched my shoulders. My eyes traveled over the sparsely furnished room to the too-small bed where Paul lay.

Oh. My. God.

He lay there covered in quilts that seemed to nothing for the seizure-like tremors that ran through his body. His skin was paler than I'd even imagined it could be and a sheen of sweat covered his face and shoulders. His hair was matted to his head and he tossed and turned weakly.

How had I caused this?

A look of deep pain was etched in his face and as I watched a dog-like whimper broke from his lips. My heart broke at the sound and I lurched over to him involuntarily, on legs that suddenly had a mind of their own.

When I was a little girl I remembered my grandmother looked like this once. She died a few days later.

Gingerly I sat down on the edge of the bed, afraid of jarring him, entirely unsure of what to do.

I laid my hand across his forehead. It was cold, colder than a normal person should have been, far colder than a wolf should be.

What was remaining of my body heat left me then.

I wasn't sure how I'd done it but obviously I was an evil psycho bitch. Paul whimpered again and my whole body began to tremble in response.

I would not cry. I would not cry.

How was I supposed to fix this?

What was it that Sam said? Accept his imprint or reject it. I stared at Paul's anguished face. How would I even reject the imprint, and what would happen to him if I did? I didn't want to know, and, frankly, it didn't matter; I'd already made my choice. Even if clearly none of them knew it.

I slid onto the bed beside Paul, already beginning to shiver and just wanting to be closer to him, my heat. What if I'd killed him? I rested a hand very gently on his stomach and his tossing stopped. That was something, I supposed.

"Hey, I did it," I whispered. "I broke up with Edward."

Nothing.

I tried again, in a regular voice this time. "I said I did it. Edward and I are over. I did it for you. Ok, not for you for you, more for me for you, but you know what I mean. I choose the imprint. I chose it… I chose you."

Nothing.

God damnit!

Giving a watery sigh I dropped my head to the bed beside Paul's shoulder.

"I really hope I didn't just kill you," I warbled out in a suddenly tear-soaked voice. "I'm sorry it took me so long to decide. I just…had a lot of things I had to sort through. You know? I really do choose you."

I closed my eyes and a few stray tears squeezed out, plopping softly on the blanket. I didn't open my eyes again for a long time.

When I woke it was dark out. I couldn't make out Paul's features but his breathing was slow and deep. Better than the shallow pained breaths of earlier.

However; I was still freezing. Something in me told me that wasn't a good thing.

I shivered and made my way to the bathroom, then downstairs, where Emily was watching a show in the living room. As soon as she heard the last stair creak she was up and heading toward me.

"Are you ok?" she asked worriedly.

I nodded and swallowed slowly. "Yeah, I'm alright. I tried…with Paul." Suddenly the entire situation was very uncomfortable and I looked away. I didn't want to look at her, a woman who had succeeded where I was failing. "Look, is there a phone around? I need to tell Ch-my dad that I won't be home tonight."

"Already done," Emily said, and I looked up at her in surprise. "Sam asked me to call just a little after you went up. I don't think either of us assumed you'd be going home today." She gave me a gentle smile and somehow I felt worse.

"Have I really been making it hard for everyone?"

Emily shook her head. "It doesn't matter now, and honestly, it didn't matter that much then."

So, that was a yes. I frowned but couldn't find anything else to say.

Before I knew it Emily had sat me down at her new dining table and was serving me up a portion of chicken and pasta. I found I was starving, but then, as I glanced at the clock, I hadn't eaten in about 8 hours.

"What are you doing up so late?" I suddenly asked Emily.

She shrugged, "Sam's on patrol. I usually feel better waiting until he's home. It's just a my thing."

I nodded and ate in silence. When I was finished Emily took the dishes before I could offer to wash them and sent me back upstairs. I was incredibly grateful. Just that short time away I was cold and fidgety.

Back upstairs Paul had begun to toss again, but quieted immediately when I slid into the bed beside him. This time I went under the covers, too chilled to sleep on top of a quilt when I could be inside it. Just being near him seemed to relax me and I could feel myself falling asleep almost before I settled in.

"You better be ok," I whispered to his sleeping form, "I will not be happy if I accepted this imprint just to go back to a life without one. You have an end of the deal to keep up." And then I was asleep again.

When I woke, the world would be different.

Post A/N: It's short. I know, I know, I'm sorry. I figured better to post this now than even later, right? See, this whole section is really hard to find stopping points for, and while a ten or 15 page chapter is nice to read , it can take a really freaking long time to write. Especially when, say, you already rewrote the chapter THREE TIMES. That, however, is not why the chapter is late. Remember that boy I was going to go out with? Erm, yeah, he turned out to be more of a distraction than expected. A 4 week distraction. But oh what a distraction. I wouldn't take a minute of it back. HAWT. Really, beneath his tweed and glasses he was like…something more than amazing. Guh, I think he short circuited my brain. Anyway, it was great and whirlywindy and the chemistry was, like, unreal (seriously, I'm trying to figure out how I can add in stuff I experience into the fic, it was that awesome), but it's over now. I spent a couple days moping and I may have gotten a bit…inebriated, but I'm done with that too. Back on the writing wagon. Hope you enjoy. The next chapter will involve fluff, Sam in a confrontation, and Charlie.