AN: So it's been a year since Foyet. I loved how Strauss couldn't even say it. What a bitch. Anyway, so I wanted to write a short little thing on Hotch and Jack. We'll see what happens along the way. I don't have a plan, but enjoy anyway!

Disclaimer: I own… not a lot…

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Hotch sighed as he sipped the smooth liquid, the burn in his throat a welcome change to the hurt in his heart. He still loved her and she had been gone from his life a lot longer than a year. He didn't want the divorce. He hadn't wanted to do that to Jack, but she just didn't love him as much as he loved her. She cheated on him and that should be enough for him to hate her, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. She had given him Jack. That little boy was his world. If he had to go back in time and change everything, Aaron would do anything to make sure Jack was still there. He couldn't imagine not having Jack. His chest tightened at the notion of being alone. Of losing his son like he lost his wife.

No, he couldn't think of that. He needed to be a functioning being for his son. For his pride and joy. Jessica had offered to come over today, but Aaron couldn't bear the thought of her pitying looks or the hateful stares she would toss his way when she thought no one was looking. The thing was he knew. He knew that as much of a façade she put on for Jack, that she hated him. She blamed him for her sister's death. He took another large gulp of the burning liquid. His throat protested at the third glass of the whiskey, a present from Dave. Hotch just wanted to forget. He didn't want to remember the final conversation that he had had with her a year ago today.

Love. What a foreign concept. She didn't show Jack love. How was he supposed to do it? She had ripped his heart out and stomped on it. He shook his head to dispel the thoughts. She had taught him love too. She had shown him that he had a heart, it just wasn't towards her all the time. He did love her when they were together. He would never cheat on her nor would he do something stupid to hurt her, but she wasn't happy with that. She didn't hide her distain for his change in occupations and always made sure he knew that.

Hotch downed the last of the amber liquid and set his glass down. Thank gods Jack was asleep, without nightmares this time. Poor kid had been up almost as much as he had been last night. At least he convinced the boy to watch his favorite movie and a promised trip to the zoo tomorrow and sent Jack to bed dreaming of lions and tigers. Hotch looked longingly at the glass. Maybe just one more glass before bed and he would forget all the dreams. All the horrors and hurt that was piling in his heart. It was his fault. He lost everything to Foyet, everything but his son. Aaron chuckled as a song popped into his head.

"And I am all alone. There is no one here beside me, And my problems have all gone. There is no one to deride me, But you got to have friends" Hotch sang softly under his breath. He corrected himself. No he didn't lose anything but an old memory a year ago. Sure he still loved her, but he wasn't in love with her. He loved someone else now. He poured a generous amount in the glass and lifted it towards the ceiling.

"Here's to you Haley. Rest in peace" he said before bringing the liquid to his lips. He welcomed the burning. It meant he was alive.

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AN: Well *looks over story* that did not go as planned. Emily was supposed to be in there, but apparently my muse didn't want her in there. I think it would ruin the moment of realization too. Anyway, thank you for reading! Please review now!