A/N: Okay, awhile back I started a story that will follow the same path as this one. But the problem was, I sort of lost interest. Not just that! But I was busy and didn't have the time. So now, I decided to restart everything. Start totally new and yeah. I changed her name, her look out on life and well I found myself wondering if it would be interesting to kind of switch everything between Amell's POV and then from Cullen's 3rd POV. It could be fun. So yeah! I hope you enjoy it. And please no negative feedback. It is kind of rude to do that. And if I get even one, I will not continue with the story what so ever. But to those who enjoy it? I will personally thank all of you who leave me feedback. K! Lots of love to you all, k! ;)

Oh! And I do not own Dragon Age: Origins. It is owned by Bioware. I am just a helpless lover of the game, 'tis all!

The stance I had been holding for what felt like hours now, had shifted. Jowan, the only friend and companion I have ever had in the tower, nervously glanced in my direction. I had already known what he was thinking. There wasn't much to it. He was nervous. He was terrified. He also had a tendency to make himself out as a complete arse, but I don't tell him that.

"Are you sure?"

"Just do it."

"Are you positive?"

"Well, now that you're questioning me…"

"I can't do it now."

"Come on. If you don't do it, then I'll do it."

"WHAT?"

"Seriously. You said you wanted help with this, I agreed. Now you're just wasting my time."

I easily drop my stance letting my hand fall to my hip, resting comfortably there. He was impatient. He was completely rash. But he was my best friend. I would gladly give up everything to see that he became the mage he's always wanted to become.

"Estellise…"

"Just do it. I'll be fine."

I give him a carefree smile. But I knew what I was really feeling. I was terrified. I may have mastered the magic shield, but against another mage? It really depended upon their power. I could get blown up. I could get tossed around like a rag doll or well, it won't do anything. I just kind of hope for the last bit.

"Are you sure?"

There he goes again. Sighing, my eyes closed as I brought the spell to my mind. It was an easy one. The shield was one of the first spells we are taught when we first arrive at the tower. They had pointed out that it was more as a precaution and safety than anything else. Which I hardly believed. While most of the girls in the tower enjoyed the healing arts. I on the other hand, enjoyed the fact I got to blow things up with just a flick of a wrist. Which was why I mastered the shield spell in the first place. A precaution, really.

The room's temperature dropped drastically. I could feel it. He was going to do it. I was slightly impressed with the fact I was persuasive enough to get him to do this. My hand comes up, the soft purple light shimmers against my touch as I feel the pressure build up. The spell will be coming soon.

Then everything just goes wrong.

The room turned from a soft glowing gold color and into a blue haze. His spell was strong enough to literally send me flying. The once bun that held up my hair, was loosened. The dark curly locks fly free. I cringe when I feel my body being crushed by the impact into a bookshelf. The groan escaped my lips, but the pain was the only thing I felt. It was so excruciating that tears came to my eyes.

"ESTELLISE!"

"Ow…"

Was all that I could get out as he is nearly smothering me. His arms are around me. His eyes looking me over, trying to see if he did any serious damage. I close my eyes, not wanting to see the worried look on his face.

"I'll be fine." I shrug his hands off of me.

"Are you sure… maybe you should go see Wynne?" The look in his eyes caused me some annoyance.

"You of all people should know that this…" I gesture to the somewhat damaged bookcase, that was kind enough to break my fall. "Is nothing compared to what I've smashed into before."

"But you should still go see her. Maybe you just feel alright. You could have broken something…"

That just goes on and on. I was annoyed. I was angry and well, I wanted to punch him for being a total idiot. "I'll be fine." I move him out of the way, breaking his train wreck of worry words.

"Estellise…"

I hated it when he would say my name like that. Always felt like I was being scolded. "Let's do this over again." I grimace. My words were harsh but he seemed to understand.

The next few times the spell wouldn't start. So I pushed a few more of his buttons. Though what I said should never be repeated. It did however work in getting him to send an arcane bolt at me. My shield easily reflecting it, I sigh. My own eyes closed, dropping the shield from around me. Closing my side of the Fade in that single gesture.

"Go get some sleep." I offer at least.

I knew just how tiresome firing off an endless amount of magical energy at someone for hours could be. He moves to leave however, his eyes were completely averted from my own. Though apart of me feels guilty for pushing him so hard. With a sympathetic smile, I wave it off. "I'm sorry." I say with a carefree voice. He blinks surprised by my words… actually that kind of hurt. "I'm sorry for pushing you so hard." I whisper quietly, as my smile drops off of my face. "I just want you to reach your dreams, 'tis all."

He seemed grateful because he quickly closed the distance between the two of us. He was hugging me. This time more tightly than he has before. Which caused my entire body to heat up under his touch. He never really does this in front of others in the tower. But when I look around I see only one Templar in the small library. He had been eyeing us for awhile. It wasn't exactly unusual since they all were like that. Watching our every step. Hate oozing off of them. But what exactly was I to expect from men who stood around more like decorations, than protectors?

I am suddenly brought back to reality of Jowan hugging me and his words of forgiveness was enough to make me blush even more. He lets go, his arms falling to his sides as I return his uneasy look.

"How about we practice again before my Harrowing?"

It was the only time I could offer. I had plans to study for the next few days because of it.

He nods this time. Though his smile seemed to slightly fade when I mentioned the Harrowing, but I pretend like I don't notice. "How about the day of?"

"Okay." He delivers a single nod.

He moved to leave me in the Library, alone. I was always by myself it seemed. "G'night," He waves over his shoulder before he headed for the Apprentice Halls. "Night." I whisper in return.

As soon as his figure disappears behind the doorframe, I feel my knees buckle beneath of me. My dark robes fall around me in a circle, as I try to catch my breath. But it was the fact he had nearly drained me of all my mana. I had no idea Jowan was that powerful. I guess it was my fault, since I told him not to hold back.

My breathing becomes more and more uneasy. There were dark splotches in my eyesight. I was either going to pass out or just end up sitting there until someone came across me.

It was after this single random thought that a pair of steel gloved hands reach under my arms. I had never realized how cold metal was until I felt those fingers. "Are you alright?" The one who picked me up, his voice was so calm. It was so nice, so refreshing but there was that hint of worry in his words. He had chosen them carefully, it seemed. "I'm fine…" I manage to mutter before my feet move to give way under me.

"No, you're not." This time his words were a little harsher. More demanding than anything else. "I'll get the Senior Enchanter Wynne."

But there was hesitation in his grip. He was afraid to let me go. I wasn't glass, I knew this much. In a single moment he swept me up into his arms. Cradling my head against his chest, he held me close. It was in this single gesture that I knew who he was. He was one of those lone decorations standing in the doorways of the Tower.

A Templar? But why? Why was he helping me?

"You can put me down."

"I will take you there. It will be much quicker."

"Excuse me?"

"Just be quiet."

"Fine…"

Normally I would have put up more of a fight but it was nice. It was comforting to have someone carry me. It was nice to be able to know that I wouldn't have to struggle up four flights of stairs just to get to Wynne. Then to have her scold me for being reckless… again.

"What's your name?"

He was quiet. The calm, serene look on his fine features was nice. He paused a little to shift my weight in his arms before he continued on his destination.

"Cullen."

"That's a nice name."

"Is it?"

"Yes."

"So is Estellise."

"No, it isn't."

"I like it."

It was in those single words that I smile a little to myself.

"Do you always…"

"Always do what?"

"Well… put yourself in harms way like that?"

"You mean with Jowan?"

"Yes?"

"I didn't expect him to be so strong."

"I could have told you that."

"I never thought to ask you."

"True."

Templars had the uncanny ability to judge a mage by how powerful they were. But I had never truly talked to a Templar about it. Curious as I was about how they worked, I knew that I would never be told. The deep, dark and even eerie secrets of the chantry.

Ever since I was a child, they had scared me. The way they calmly stood there, without so much as a look in your direction. How they had this strange aura that just oozed off of them in droves. They were always told never to look at us. To never give us another glance. That if we gave any sort of hints that we practiced the illegal arts of Blood Magic, they were to strike us down in a single beat of a heart.

We, however, were always taught to be thankful for them being there. That they were the only reason why those of us were allowed to live a quiet life in the Tower. I knew why they were there. They were there because the rest of the world needed to be protected from us. I didn't mind, I knew just how dangerous we were. It made sense really.

But each and everyone of us had our pasts. Each one of us had come from somewhere. There were those who enjoyed this life. There were others, who were like me, that hated it. But a small part of me enjoyed the idea of being dangerous. Apart of me hated my family for dying an early death. Apart of me hated my older brother for leaving me behind to have a secret life in Lothering. Apart of me detested the idea that I was forced to live in the Tower. But I was thankful, I was thankful that my brother sent me letters every month to tell me how his life was going. That no one knew who I was. That no one knew what he was. Even though we had created a special code to get away with sending information back and forth between each other. I however, miss him greatly still.

"What's wrong?"

I hadn't noticed he stopped walking. I also hadn't noticed that we were on the Mage's Hall floor. That Wynne's room wasn't too far away.

"Lost in thought, 'tis all."

I know it wasn't the best excuse but he seemed content with it. The short walk continued as we kept our conversation to a small whisper, fearful that we'd wake up the others on this floor. At least no one else was roaming around, otherwise I'll never live this one down. Cullen, it seemed was carefree with this single gesture. As if he was making up for all the fear the Templars hold over the mages in this tower. Huh, I thought to myself as he ends up at Wynne's door. He shifts his weight to take me in a single arm, as he raises a gloved hand towards her door.

A simple rap against the door brought it open. Wynne took a single glance at the Templar holding me in his arms and her tired expression turned to one of total concern. She was already shoving the poor guy into the room when she ordered him to drop me on her bed so she could get to her herbs and other things that just smell horrid.

"What did you do now?" Her words held back a hint of anger but I sigh as she examines me.

"I didn't do anything… Jowan did this."

She stops in her examination to give a single look. In that look I felt my entire body rise in temperature. She didn't believe me.

"It's true, Senior Enchanter Wynne."

"Is it now?"

Her examination continues as she peels off my robe quickly. Without bothering to tell Ser Cullen he should leave. The poor guy turned completely pink and turned around abruptly as my top came off.

"So did you rope this poor Templar to do your bidding?"

"No."

"Liar."

"I didn't!"

"Sure."

"Really, he was just there and before I knew it he was carrying me."

"Uh-huh."

"Wynneee…"

She was laughing now, which was a nice change of pace at least. "You have some minor bruising and your shoulder is completely shattered. Not to mention your energy is completely drained."

Concern was behind her words. "I can heal the bones but your energy is something that requires complete and total rest for the next few days."

I groan, knowing just how important the next few days were to me. If I didn't pass my Harrowing I was screwed. Completely and utterly screwed. "Hold still."

A warm soft light leaves her finger tips as it touches my shoulder. I can feel the bones reattaching themselves but it was painful. It was so painful that a small cry left my lips. He flinched when he heard me cry out, but it was as if he was holding himself back. As if he wanted nothing more than to rush to my aid. But he held himself still. His weight shifted from one foot to the other, over and over again. Was he nervous? He didn't need to be. Wynne gave the okay, once she was done knitting the bones in my shoulder back together.

"Take this and stay off your feet tomorrow." She handed me a small vial of green ooze as I finished tying my robe. "Cullen?" She called just as I took the vial and sniffed it. I cringe at the smell but she ignores it. "I want you to take her back to her room. And tomorrow I would like you to watch her. If she tries anything reckless… well you know what to do."

A roll of my eyes I walk past the two of them. "I can get back to my rooms on my own…" I feel myself go light headed, my knees want to buckle but Cullen was there. His hands holding me back up on my feet. "You're not fine." I groan and with the help of Cullen, we walked out of Wynne's room and down the hall.

At least this time he isn't carrying me.

The next morning I woke up in my small bed. Which was only apart of a series of bunk beds that surrounded the entire large hall made for Mage Apprentices. The young men had their own rooms and the young women had their own. As for the children they had their own little hall. I suppose the moment we hit puberty, they had to separate us. It still didn't stop most of the other Apprentices. I had heard rumors upon rumors about whose done who. Or who is the cutest boy? Or who is dating who? Whatever, really.

I just didn't care.

I was serious about what I was doing. I wanted to become an amazing mage and help people. Either in combat or either doing something else. I didn't care about romance, love or just being with someone.

"'Morning."

I yawn, stretching my arms above my head as I swing my feet over the side of my bed. Running my fingers through my hair I look up to see a Templar standing in front of me. One I have seen on numerous occasions but I never really gave him a second glance. Just as how I never gave any of the other Templars a second glance.

"'Morning," I mutter under my tired yawn.

"At least you're awake."

"Excuse me?"

"Ser Cullen asked me to watch over you. Until he returned."

"Oh…"

I move to my feet, waving a little as I stand up. Just remembering what had happened the night before. Jowan was so powerful. I had always remembered he wasn't as strong as I was, but he was decent. He shouldn't have been able to burst through my shield but he did. I waver a little on my feet as I walk towards the washroom area. The Templar was on my heels, something that I didn't find odd what so ever. It was almost like having a moving shadow following me wherever I went. Something that all Mages in the Tower get used too after awhile.

"You are acquaintances with that mage… Anders, I think that's his name. No?"

"Anders?"

That name makes me stop in my tracks. For as long as I had been in the Tower, Anders has always been known for making his escapes. So far he's escaped six times, and every time they catch him. It's those blasted phylacteries. When a young mage is brought in from outside of the Tower, the Templar take some of their blood. Adding some Lyrim and with the help of the First Enchanter they are able to create a sort of tracking essence. It traps a little piece of us within it. But from what I have always understood, only Templars could use it. Which was how Anders was always caught… Idiot.

"What about him?"

"I'll take that answer that you know of him."

"So?"

"We captured him a few days ago in a small village of Lothering."

Maker help me, I continue on my way towards the washroom.

"He didn't put up much of a fight."

Of course he wouldn't. Why would we want to fight a group of men who could easily drain us of our mana, use almost our entire arsenal of magic against us and well, they are quite the sight to see when they fight… not that I would watch them. Okay, I may have snuck in on a few of their practices with some of the other girls but that was a long time ago.

"It's a funny thought," he stopped in his tracks. I find myself stopping with him, just in time to turn around and see him pull his helmet off. I had seen him before. He was one of the few I had seen practicing. Short cropped dark hair, a little stubble covering his chin and even those laughing silver colored eyes. I want to sigh a little at the sight, but he smiles. He seemed to sense what I was feeling but I ignore it. Shoving it to the little corner of my mind. I turn back around, letting my face cool after seeing who he was exactly. "Every time we catch him, he just escapes again."

Of course he does. Anders was one person whom no one understood. Irving thought he understood him, but everyone was wrong. He doesn't try to relate to anyone. He never tried to be friends with anyone. He may have put on a happy-go-lucky front, but I was one of the few who caught him in his worse.

It was late during the night when I caught him. He was silently sitting under the light within the Library, just before his first escape attempt. I didn't know who he was but he was reading a book. A book about the places around the world. Some of them probably didn't exist anymore, but it wasn't like he cared. I had come there because I left my bag of components behind after my lesson. He didn't notice me until was too late. He already had the tears in his eyes. The quiet sobs. I had stood there for a few moments, watching him. Until something just clicked inside of my head. My body moved on it's own. I sat down on the floor in front of him. I took the book from his hands. He looked down to me, apart of me wanted to smile but I didn't budge. Instead he just took my hands and held them. He might have been older than me by a few years. I may have just known him through his reputation within the Circle. I didn't mind just sitting there, quietly, with the one person I never thought to meet again.

It was after that night that he started to talk to me. He would walk up to me after a lesson and just carry on a random conversation with me. That continued until he tried to get me to runaway with him. I told him he was insane. They would catch us instantly. Anders had shrugged and stated that he didn't care. At least he'll get to see something other than the walls of the Tower for a short while. I smiled and told him good luck. The next day he was gone and I had never felt so alone in my life. Jowan had told me he was bad news, no matter how I saw it.

I enjoyed Anders' company. Despite what the other mages had thought of it.

But the Templar seemed to have already known of our closeness. "You two were close, yes?"

I stop in front of the wash basin. Cool water was already within the porcelain basin but I sigh a little looking down into the water's reflection. "Yes." I reply quietly.

"I'm sorry… I shouldn't have brought him up." I look up, the mirror before me reflected his gaze back into my own.

"Ser Caidan."

That voice? I turn around just in time to see the person behind the voice.

"Uh… Ser Cullen?"

Cullen, the Templar who is seemed has taken it upon himself to watch over me for the next few days until my Harrowing. His red hair glinting off the candle lights, he too had the same little bit of stubble across his chin and above his lips. I find myself drawn in little by little. He was attractive, I had to at least admit this fact. But I ignore the feeling. I quickly turn back around and splash the water across my face. Wanting to drown myself within the small basin. Which was nearly impossible, when I thought about it.

"You can return to your post."

"Are you sure?"

There was concern in the other Templar's voice. Something I had noticed was shared between all of them. They treated each other as brothers, siblings in a manner of profession. It was kind of nice, I guess.

"Just go."

It wasn't quite a demand but it was a sharp tone.

"It's was a pleasure speaking with you, Miss Amell."

Turning around, I give him my best carefree smile but it didn't reach my eyes. Something he seemed to catch quite quickly as he too returns something close. A bow of the head, he puts his helmet back on and leaves. Leaving both Cullen and I alone.

"He's a little forward, but he's a good guy." Cullen watched him leave as he turned his focus back upon me. "How are you?" He sounded genuinely concerned, something I thought was rare within the Templar ranks.

"I'm fine." I respond quietly.

He seemed okay with that response, at least for the time being. "I'll be around the corner. Finish what you have to do and well…" A confused look crossed his eyes as he turned around to leave me by myself. I want to smile a little but I was still in pain. It hurt all the way down to my very core. Not so unusual when I thought about it. Mana was important, apart of our system and well when a mage was drained all the way down to their breaking point… it hurt. Like a dull ache, right in the very depth of our souls.

I took my time bathing and brushing my hair. I ran my finger over my teeth quickly as I debate with myself. Either take the extra time to pull my hair up or just leave it be. I wasn't planning on using any magic, I figured I'd find a quiet place to read and just go with it until the Harrowing.

Flicking my hair over my shoulder I decide go with it down for the rest of the day. Walking around, the corner a sigh escapes me. "I'm ready." I let out quietly.

"I uh… Well…"

It looked like he turned completely red from head to toe. Or at least his face was a little pink. From what I remember anyone who was apart of the Chantry took a vow of chastity. Something not so uncommon, I guess.

"Are you alright?"

"I… umm, well I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You look a little… flushed."

For the first time since last night he actually looked away from me. He turned his gaze and wanted something a little more interesting to look at. At least that didn't hurt my feelings. "What do you have planned today?" He finally found something to ask me even if his gaze wasn't meeting my own.

"I think I'll go to the library. Maybe go through some scrolls. Study up on something useful at least."

I truly had no idea what to expect from the Harrowing. None of us do until we go through it. If you fail, you never return. If you never even go through with it? They turn you into a Tranquil. I almost shiver at the thought of losing all of my emotions. Being turned into a mindless drone… it wasn't something that I looked forward too. I doubted than none of us do. Except for those that actually volunteered.

"Shall we then?"

"Okay."

It was after the next couple of days, of quietly keeping to myself and studying that I had come to actually get used to Cullen. It was over the course of those few days that he had started to open up to me. Telling me all about his life. How he didn't know who his parents were. How he had grown up within the Chantry. And even how he had volunteered to serve within the Circle of Magi's Tower. I had asked him why. But I never did get a straight answer out of him.

It wasn't until the day of my Harrowing that Jowan approached me. I was quietly flipping through the last of my study notes. Alone within a small study just down the hall from the Library. Cullen had finally left my side, approving of my recovery rate I hoped at least. Even to the fact that he had returned to his posts. But it was the look Jowan gave me as he stood across the small desk from me.

"I'm worried about you." The concern knit across his brow almost made me a little annoyed.

"Why?" I set my notes down. Not bothering to get up from where I was sitting.

"People are talking about you and that… that Templar."

"Let them talk." I stated simply.

"What's going on, Estelle?" He leaned forward, both hands planted firmly upon the desk. I want to stand up, but my legs are shaking. I don't like rumors. I especially didn't like rumors that involved myself.

"Wynne asked him to watch me for a few days and well, he took her request literal." It was an excuse but really? I was starting to enjoy his company with the passing of the few days.

"He did?" Jowan was just as confused as I was. He stood up straighter and crossed his arms. "That's… unusual."

He had a point but I didn't feel like talking about this. I move to my feet quickly, ignoring the butterflies in my stomach. "Does it matter?" My voice was harsh, but I had every right.

"It should." He retorted.

"Well, it doesn't." I walk past, even letting my shoulder brush against his as I go to the doorway.

"It's none of my business, but please… be careful." He pleaded quietly. I heard his words but I simply chose to ignore them. It was easier that way, I guess.

"You are to escort her to the Harrowing Chamber." Cullen blinked at the Knight-Commander. Not quite sure what he was asking. "Why me, ser?"

That wasn't exactly the seasoned Knight-Commander was expecting for an answer. But it was the young man standing before him. One that he had personally watched over since he came to Tower. Cullen was a remarkable Templar. What had impressed the most was how he treated the Mages. He treated them like people and not just something dangerous. Not many were like that within the Tower.

But it wasn't just how he was treating them. Nor was it about his skills. It was the rumors he had been hearing. That Cullen and the young mage Amell had something going on. The Commander never really listened to them. But he had seen them together one night in the library. Amell was quietly reading to herself but it was the look upon Cullen's face that had told him the rumors could have been possible. Either on one side of their relationship or on both. He truly didn't know. The young woman didn't seem as enraptured as Cullen was but they seemed to connect on a whole other level.

Something the Commander himself had felt before. Something that he sort of wished he'd forget about.

"I do not need a reason, Ser Cullen." His voice quelled the uneasy look within the other Knight's eyes. "You're to follow my commands without question. Do you understand?"

The young Knight blanched. But he received a simple curt nod as an answer. "Good, now she should be in the Library. Bring her up as soon as you find her."

Cullen left briskly from the Knight-Commander's office. Apart of him felt sick. He had never once been present during a Harrowing but he knew how they worked. The Mage in question would enter the fade. It was a test to overcome the temptation of a Demon. If they failed they became Abominations. Then slain by a Templar chosen for the task.

It was dangerous. For both Mages and Templars.

His thoughts kept drifting in and out, though. Since the first moment he had seen Estellise Amell, he had always been confused. She had such dark looks but it was the creamy color of her skin, those dark soulful eyes when she met his eye contact. And it was those lips… they were so plump, so luscious. He would always find himself drawn in by her. The way her hips would swerve when she walked through the halls of the Tower. Or how her robes wound fit so snugly around her body. She was truly a remarkable beauty, even the other Templars had started talking about her.

It was at that moment that he found himself falling for her. Even if she didn't know who he was, he didn't mind so much. As long as he could at least watch over her.

But this was asking too much. He didn't want to be the one who had to lead her to her Harrowing. He didn't want to be the one who had to lead her to her death. Even as that moment crossed his mind, he realized, that he did not want to be the one to strike her down if she turned into an Abomination.

He let his feet take him through the quiet halls of the Tower and down the steps to the lowest floor. There he knew he would find her, curled up in her favorite chair reading or writing. Or even at the tables organizing her spell components. She was so serious all the time. But sometimes he would catch her humming to herself. She seemed so happy when she was by herself.

Cullen eventually found her, just as he thought he would. Quietly rummaging through her spell components, humming a small tune to herself. As if the rest of the Tower didn't exist but just her.

"Amell." Her name was starting to sound so natural out of his mouth.

"Oh!" She had stopped her rummaging and looked up. It was his reflection in those dark irises that made apart of him feel guilty. "Cullen?"

"It's… time." The words left his mouth but it felt like someone else was speaking.

"Oh…" She looked down. Her eyes drifted down to the top of the table. "Then why are you…" She looked up to him once more. This time he knew her question.

"I'm here to escort you to the Harrowing Chamber."

"Do I have to leave now?"

"Yes… I'm sorry."

She looked away, her eyes had closed but he knew what she was feeling. She was nervous. She was afraid and she had every right to be. She had no idea what was in store for her.

She stood up slowly. Gathering her things and strapping her components to her waist. She wasn't prepared but then most weren't.

Her hair had been tied loosely to the back of her head. He liked it when it hung down past her shoulders, but the way she looked now. He sighed softly to himself. She was impressive.

He led the way, letting her trail quietly behind him. His great sword was strapped to his back, it was a forever reminder of what was going to happen up there. He was fearful, afraid for her. But she didn't know, not until they reached the top.

The moment before they reached the last set of stairs. He paused just before the door. She was nervous, he didn't have to turn around to see her fingers twisting together. Or the way she would continuously tuck her hair behind her ears. Even the moments when she would nibble on her plump bottom lip nervously. She was remarkable. Every part of him wanted to turn around to see her, but there wasn't time to drink every inch of her in.

The door opened easily under his touch. He heard her nibble quietly from behind him, he wanted to tell her it would be okay. That he would be there to watch over her. Then that just sounded horrid in his mind. "Ser Cullen." When he heard his name spoken, he took a deep breath and let her walk in past him. "Stand here, next to Ser Caidan."

The other Templar didn't look at him. He was quietly watching Amell as she was being explained as to what she was to go through. But Caidan always had a large fascination with Estellise. He had caught the other Templar watching her, sneaking glances when she was changing. Or when she was walking out of the shower. He always had that look in his eyes. It made Cullen a little queasy standing next to him.

Estellise listened but suddenly she blanched. Her gaze drifted towards the pile of raw Lyrim sitting in the middle of a basin. When she agreed to it, she touched the Lyrim. A rush hit all of them, it was almost intoxicating. The sensation was amazing. It was a feeling that only a Templar could ever appreciate.

"Cullen," the Commander turned around just as soon as her body hit the ground. "Come here."

He moved to stand next Irving. The First Enchanter had always liked Amell. He had always doted over her, which drove most of the Senior Enchanters crazy. "You are to deal the death blow." Greagoir never met Cullen's gaze.

Cullen knew that this was something he couldn't just say no to. There was that chance she could awaken as an Abomination. His hand reached up the hilt of his sword. It was released quickly as he took his stance. Knowing that the moment she awoken he would have to move quickly.

Time passed. The quiet of the Chamber was driving him insane. He was sweating underneath all of his armor. His gloves felt heavy. His sword was heavy. His whole body was rigid. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder. It belonged to the First Enchanter Irving. "It's alright." Confusion spread across his gaze as his arms relaxed. "She has passed." He wanted to ask how he knew. But he knew he would never get an answer out of him.

His sword easily clipped back into place as he relaxed. "Cullen, take her back to the Apprentice halls."

Without a second thought he bent down and scooped her up into his arms. She was light, just as she was when he first did this. But it was her sleeping, calm face that made him smile a little himself. She looked so peaceful. Something he had never thought he'd see.

He walked her quietly down each set of stairs. He could hear the voices of the mages he passed. He knew what they had been saying. But he didn't care. She had passed, that was all he cared about.

When he finally reached the halls he set her down in her bed gently. She groaned under her breath and turned over. He smiled, his hand lifted to brush a strand of hair from her face.

She passed. That was all that matters.

"Are you insane?" I stood across from Jowan. It was the day after my Harrowing and well, it wasn't what I expected. However I completed it quickly and even Jowan told me, the second I woke up, that it was the fastest Harrowing in the Circle's history. But now, I stand across from Jowan and the initiate Lily. She was petite, commonly and whenever she looked at Jowan I knew she felt everything they were saying.

The very second I woke up, I was told by Jowan to go see Irving. It was there that I was greeted by Greagoir, Irving and the Grey Warden Commander Duncan. I was promoted from Apprentice to full fledge Mage. Given new robes and my own room. But before I could even go and gather all of my things I was asked to escort Duncan to his rooms. It was easy enough, really. He was quiet, didn't ask me too many questions and when I made to leave he asked me about the Wardens. If I would be interested in joining them. Apart of me liked the idea but then there was that other half… the half that wanted stay. I felt complete now that I was a Mage.

I was never really given a chance to answer, when Jowan came running in asking me to come with him. I had excused myself from Duncan and followed Jowan all the way to the Chantry within the Tower.

It wasn't unusual that the Chantry was empty. Except for Keili, she was always there. Praying at the altar. Thinking she was just a walking sin. As usual I just ignored her and followed Jowan towards a young woman. Whom I had seen periodically around the halls. A very few initiates stayed within the Tower. Except she was nervously standing in the corner, twisting her hands around. Looking up just in time to see both Jowan and I coming towards her.

I was pulled into a corner roughly by the elbow. He was shouting at me, but I was to busy taking in this Lily of his. She was staring at me, questioning everything that was going through my mind until I heard the plan.

"No." I stated clearly. "This is absolute insanity."

"I need your help." Jowan grabbed for her hand, holding it tightly within his own. "We need your help."

"You want me, to go find a rod of fire. Then I have to go with you into the Cellar of the Tower and help you find your phylactery… that is absolute insanity!" I throw my hands up and turn my back on the two of them.

"Please…" Lily's voice was sweet. She was quiet. "We can't do this alone and from what Jowan tells me… you would do anything for him."

I was starting to hate her. But she was right, I would gladly do anything to see Jowan happy. "Fine, I'll do it."

What was I thinking! I grimace, closing my eyes even feeling Jowan's hand on my shoulder. "Thank you, Estelle." I shake it off and storm away.

As I leave the Chantry, I collide smack into a body of armor. "Estellise?" That voice.

"Cullen?"

I look up to see him smiling. "Are you alright?"

I want to say no but I knew if we were ever caught or if he ever knew, he would have to tell his superiors the plan.

"Oh… uh… I'm fine." I mutter, wrapping my fingers within each other. "I just, I need to go see Owain."

I move to walk past him but before I could even move a few feet, his hand stops me. Just a simple grip around the upper part of my arm, stops me. "No, you're not fine."

I want to look at him. I truly want to look at him. But I can't. "I'm sorry. I can't talk right now." In three shakes his hand lets go and I start to walk quickly towards the stairs leading to the second floor. Owain would need permission from a Senior Enchanter. He didn't follow but I could hear him calling my name. Ignoring it, I head for Owain.

After two hours of running errands and flying through the Underground part of the Tower. We found Jowan's phylactery. He easily destroyed it by smashing it to the ground. I feel apart of myself wanting to reach for my own but I know it wasn't there. They had already sent it to Denerim.

Just as we were running out the door. An entire platoon of Templars were standing before us. "What's going on?" Irving, Greagoir, Duncan and even Cullen were standing there.

I found myself refusing to meet Cullen's gaze. I know what he was thinking. I should have told him. I should have explained was being asked of me. I couldn't betray Jowan… I just couldn't. But when I steal a glance in his direction, there was worry there. Until I felt the pressure. Before I can even look to Jowan and Lily, she is thrown backwards and I was being tackled. The large frame above me, covered me as blood sprayed from Jowan's wrists. He was shouting out words, magical words. Until I hear the screaming, Lily was screaming. Completely covered in Jowan's blood.

"Let's go, Lily!" He was shouting. But I was completely in a daze from the crushing tackle and the smothering form above me.

"No! I'm not going with you!" She screamed.

"But… But, why?" I can hear the sorrow in his words.

"Because of what you are!" She shouted at him. I can hear her crumply to the floor, her knees smacking into the stone. "I hate… I hate…. I hate you." She sobbed.

"What's… what's going on?" I mutter.

"Are you okay?" That voice.

"Cullen?" I look up to see Cullen looking down to me. He was so close to me, I want nothing more than to just… to just… no! I shake my head.

"Are you okay?" He asked me again, this time he didn't sound as concerned as he was before. But he was smiling. It was almost refreshing.

"I can't really… breathe." I laugh a little.

"Oh!" I have never seen a man in full armor move so gracefully. "How's that?" He asks as he stands over me.

I smile, looking up to him as he offers a hand to help me up to my feet. "Good." I look around this time, getting a full view of Jowan gone and Lily being dragged away crying and covered in blood.

"Now for Estellise." I can hear Knight-Command Greagoir. As all eyes fall upon me. "Yes, about her." Duncan's voice cuts through as he easily makes his way through Greagoir.

"I would like to here by conscript her into the Wardens." I blink. What?

"Excuse me?" Greagoir easily turns on Duncan. "What right do you have to-"

"I believe he has the right, Greagoir." The First Enchanter easily steps forward. His calming voice does not hide his disappoint of me. "I will allow it."

"Fine." The bitterness in Greagoir's voice did not hide his distaste for this act. "But Cullen will be going with you."

"Another Templar would help." I stand there, as if I was just another decoration but apart of me smiles a little. "But he is still dependent upon the Lyrim."

"That's easily fixed." Irving produced a small blue vial from under his robes and tossed it towards Cullen. Whom caught it easily. "Take this within 24 hours after your last dose of Lyrim."

I grip my staff tightly in my hands. I want to scream at all of them. But the rules of being Conscripted, I had no choice. "Alright," Duncan moved forward. "We shall leave immediately."

Apart of me wants to scream and yell, to throw things but I hold it back. I find myself looking to the ground. Jowan was a blood mage. Lily was still screaming in the halls. I feel betrayed but I choke back everything I was feeling.

"Go and gather your things, my dear." Irving's hands are on my shoulders. I can't bring myself to look up to him. "Everything will be okay."

A simple nod and I am walking away. I am walking away from everything. My home. My life. And now I was starting a new life, as a Grey Warden.

But at least I wasn't alone.

I look over my shoulder to see the form of Cullen, walking away in the opposite direction. He too had his head down. I feel horrible for dragging him into this but I smile a little.

By the time I was packed, Duncan was already waiting. Cullen had changed out of his Templar armor and was wearing a basic set of chain mail, his sword was strapped to his back. Along with his backpack. I feel so out of place traveling with the two of them.

"Are you ready?" Duncan turns to look to me.

I give him a nod and we head off. This would be my first time out of the Tower since I was four years old.

And now? Now my life will change, either for the good or for the worse. I truly don't know.