I remember in the light novels Mairu mentioned that Izaya might have taken her and Kururi to the Russian sushi place, so it gave me inspiration….Mind you, this is the first time I wrote humor in about ten months (it's so strange transitioning from always writing angst and drama to this ^_^;;). Why is it that all the humorous stories I write are always surrounding the idea of food? *coughs* Enjoy~

Izaya leaned back in his swivel chair until the top of his head almost touched the glass window behind him as the dull tone rang in his ears. He pressed his cell phone against his cheek, wondering if anyone would actually pick up. If they didn't, then he would have an excuse as to why he wasn't going out tonight, so he wouldn't actually mind. If they did answer…well, Izaya mustn't jump to conclusions so readily just yet. He would like to be surprised for once.

The phone picked up; he could hear the light breathing on the other end. Even by a simple breath he could already tell which of the two girls to whom he was talking.

The other twin rarely ever answered phones in the first place.

"Hello-o-o-o?" the voice laughed in his ear. "This is the Orihara family! Mairu speaking~"

"Mairu, it's—"

"Iza-nii?" Mairu's voice seemed to grow higher. "It's Iza-nii, isn't it? I know it's you! Iza-nii-i-i-i-i-i!"

Izaya twisted the phone slightly so that the screech coming from the earphone would not damage his hearing. "How are—?"

"Kure-nee! Listen, listen! The Great Iza-nii is actually deigning to speak to us! Isn't this a rarity?" Izaya could hear bounding footsteps on the other end. His lips twitched into a heavily ironic smirk, wondering if things could quite possibly not go as he planned.

Unlike the rest of humanity, whenever it came to his sisters, he was playing with dice.

"Nii (Iza-nii)….call (is on the phone)?" he could hear a soft voice inquire.

"Talk to him, Kure-nee! Ta-a-alk to him for me! He's such a cruel brother for ignoring us so long!"

Izaya wasn't exactly sure if he actually regretted that or not.

"Nii-san…?" Kururi's voice peeped from the phone. This time, Izaya had to practically shove the phone against his ear to catch Kururi's words before the flitted off in the air and disappeared without a grace. "Reason (Why)…phone (did you call us)?"

"I was wondering if—" Izaya didn't even make an attempt to get his words through. Immediately, a voice piped up so loudly in the background that it might as well have been screaming right beside him.

"What's he saying, Kure-nee? Huh? Is he begging for forgiveness yet? Make him beg! He hasn't talked to us in so long!"

Izaya could picture Mairu ripping the phone from her sister's hands. He spun in his chair, waiting for their one-sided conversation to cease before speaking. It battled back and forth, the phone switching from Kururi's possession to Mairu's. Kururi usually could only squeeze one word into the conversation before Mairu took the phone and practically vomited words upon words into Izaya's ear.

"Is Kururi still on the phone or Mairu this time?" he interrupted monotonously, pressing his forehead against the glass window. He was now quite dizzy after spinning in circles for such a long period of time.

"You should know by now, shouldn't you?" Mairu said huffily. "You're our big brother and you can't tell us apart?"

"Neither of you were even speaking, sister dearest. Has your sea of raging restlessness ebbed, or should I continue to hoist the sails?"

"Proceed~" Mairu said sweetly. Izaya waited three seconds to make sure that she wouldn't interject another soliloquy.

"Are you and Kururi busy tonight?" Izaya asked.

"Ooh~! This sounds remotely interesting already. Why do you ask, ne?" Mairu said eagerly. Izaya checked the time on his laptop. He had been on the phone for a good seven minutes and he hadn't even gotten to the point yet.

"How about I treat you two to some sushi? I know of a good place in Ikebukuro." The word 'Ikebukuro' made Izaya smirk. Oh, what would little Shizu-chan do if he saw Izaya skip around the streets with his sisters in tow?

"Hmm? Does Iza-nii not have anyone else to go out to eat with? Is that why you're asking?" Mairu said teasingly.

"…do you want sushi or not?"

"I'll think about it," Mairu said sweetly.

"…Agree (I'd like to go)," Kururi's voice said feebly in the background.

"Kure-nee!" Mairu exclaimed. She lowered her voice, but Izaya could still hear what she was saying. "We're supposed to leave him in suspense! Let him drown in his loneliness for a little longer!"

Izaya had nearly forgotten how sadistic his sisters were.

"All right, all right!" Mairu's voice returned loudly. "If Kure-nee is so willing to go, I will go too! For her sake! So that she won't be lonely with such a bad big brother like Iza-nii!"

"Are you really all that choked up that we don't talk often?" Izaya said skeptically, closing his laptop. Besides with each other, his sisters were not exactly the familial type.

"Of course, Iza-nii! How dare you suggest otherwise! We are not as coldhearted as you are!" laughed Mairu. "Here we are, left alone in a sad home with no brother figure to protect us from terrible bullies!"

"Ahahaha. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were amateurs poorly impersonating my sisters and failing miserably at it."

"What if we were kidnapped, hmm, Iza-nii? Would you just lounge in your chair and laugh at the world still? You would, wouldn't you? So cruel."

Izaya knew that if such a thing happened, he'd have every gang in all of Tokyo ripped inside out in search for them, but he did not mention this out loud. "The ootoro is rotting as we speak, Mairu. Will you come or not?"

"All right, all right!" laughed Mairu. "Will you pick us up from our house, Iza-nii? Like a good gentleman?"

"Of course," Izaya replied in the same sickeningly sweet manner. "Just as you command, my princess."

Mairu giggled before slamming the phone back down on the receiver. Izaya snapped his phone shut, noting that it took him nine minutes and forty-three seconds just to ask his sisters to go out to eat with him. He chuckled softly to himself before wheeling his chair over toward Namie's desk. He rapped his knuckles loudly on her desk. Namie did not even look up from her paperwork.

"Leave."

Namie raised an eyebrow confusedly. "What?"

"Get out. Depart. Abscond. Bon voyage. Have I made myself slightly clearer to you yet?"

Namie gritted her teeth, gripping her pen tightly as if she had every reason to drive it right through his bony hand. "It's four thirty. My day doesn't end until eight."

"Ah, you complain? Are you lamenting the lost hours you will spend with me this fine day?" Izaya said, smirking.

"Quite the contrary. I'd love nothing more than to be free of your nauseating presence, but if that means that you're cheating me out of my pay, I won't take it so kindly," Namie shot back.

"I'm a fair employer. I'm letting you off on a little break," Izaya said. "Unless, of course, you'd like to join me."

"Join you in what?" Namie demanded.

"To venture through the Shizu-chan-infested streets of Ikebukuro with two twin teenagers to attain the satisfaction of Russian sushi. It is quite an experience you've not yet been lucky to undergo."

"I think I prefer blissful ignorance than horrified revelation," Namie sneered.

"Ah, but you, being a female, should remedy your insufferable orneriness and immoral lust by mingling with fellow ladies, so that their pure minds could influence you to a better being," Izaya said calmly.

"You're kidding yourself," said Namie.

"What? Do you not believe that Mairu and Kururi are shining beacons of virtue and benevolence in this bleak and twisted world?" deadpanned Izaya.

"Not even in the slightest."

"Good, because if you did, then I must conclude that for a smart woman, you're much stupider than I thought, and would have to reconsider keeping you as my secretary," Izaya said promptly, standing from his chair and stretching his back, as lithe as a cat.

"Don't you have an appointment with someone tonight?" Namie said, frowning.

"Do I?" Izaya checked his schedule on his cell phone. "Ay me, I do. Cancel them for me. I have more important things to tend to."

"I thought you would consider your work of utmost importance," Namie said suspiciously.

"I would think you of all people would agree that family matters are quite significant. How's Seiji doing, anyway?"

Namie's cheeks were tinged a sweet pink at the mentioning of her precious younger brother. It was only when she was thinking of Seiji was she calm and excessively girly and not spewing out bitter remarks. "He's doing really well. He's agreed to come and eat dinner with me next week."

"Bravo. You two have finally achieved pure and undying love," Izaya said dryly. He kicked his swivel chair back to its usual place by his desk. He pulled on his jacket, which was slung over the armrest of the couch. "Cancel those appointments now. And fetch me my pills I prescribed from the pharmacy once you're done."

"Just get out," Namie said with aggravation. Izaya grinned and saluted before disappearing out the door. Namie let out an exasperated sigh before tossing her paperwork to the side.

If all three Orihara siblings were going to be in the same place at once, she better head home quickly before all of Tokyo was mutilated to avoid the worst of it.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?"

Kasuka nodded silently, sitting down on Shizuo's couch. It was a modest but neat apartment, and although Shizuo was a little embarrassed to show it to his younger brother before he came to visit, he could tell that Kasuka was relaxed by it. It reminded him of their olden days.

"I would have come earlier," Kasuka said, "but this was the only moment I found free."

"Don't worry, I understand," Shizuo said casually, waving a hand. He had to admit to himself that it was a little sad that even his little brother found no time for him, but it was reality, wasn't it?

"How have things been for you?" asked Kasuka, sipping at the green tea that Shizuo had brewed earlier.

"Meh," Shizuo said noncommittally before taking a seat next to Kasuka. "Depends on how you look at it, I guess."

"How many fights do you participate in each day?"

"You're going straight to the point, aren't you?" muttered Shizuo. "I'm a bodyguard. I've got to get into fights. It's what I'm paid to do."

"All right. How many fights were you in that were not related to your job?"

Shizuo shifted uncomfortably. "I try my best, okay? Usually they provoke me first."

"That's usually the case for the past twenty-so years."

"You have no mercy."

A light smile graced Kasuka's features. "I've heard rumors about you sometimes."

"Probably started by that damn louse, no doubt," Shizuo grumbled, setting down his cup of green tea a little too hard and sending hot tea sloshing out of the cup.

"Hm?"

"Nothing," Shizuo said quickly. The less Orihara Izaya was mentioned, the better. "Say, let's go out to eat. Ever been to the Russian sushi place?"

"I haven't," admitted Kasuka.

Shizuo stood up, shaking Kasuka slightly by the shoulders. "Well then, come on. It's a nice place. It won't poison you."

Kasuka smiled wryly. "And your home cooking would?"

"I was never much of a chef, Kasuka."

"So long as you promise that there will be no trouble," Kasuka said. "No fights, no arguments, no violence. Is that all right?"

"Isn't that a given?" Shizuo said, a little hurt that Kasuka would immediately assume that Shizuo would resort to violence at any given hour. "So long as you promise that your stardom won't cloud our time, please?"

"Of course," Kasuka said quietly, furrowing his eyebrows, disturbed that Shizuo would suspect Kasuka of such.

Little did both brothers know that the other had the right mind to be concerned.

"Kure-nee, why are you walking so slow? You know what Iza-nii said! The ootoro will rot and it'll be your fault!"

Izaya felt like his body was soon to be ripped apart before he could even reach Ikebukuro. Both his sisters were holding his hands on either side of him as they walked through the streets. Mairu was either skipping or running, waving at everyone who passed by and laughing at the top of her lungs. Kururi, on the other hand, locked herself firmly by Izaya's side with such an ironclad grip that he could feel his blood circulation halting at his wrist.

"Savor (Slow and steady wins the race)…" Kururi mumbled into Izaya's sleeve.

"What's the difference between Russian sushi and Japanese sushi, ne, Iza-nii?" Mairu asked, digging her nails into his arm.

"It's made by a Russian," Izaya said blankly. Mairu giggled, but her sharp fingernails grinded on his arm bone.

"You're so silly, Iza-nii! Why go to a Russian sushi place if there are normal sushi restaurants all around us?"

"I prefer this location," Izaya said casually, his lips curling into a light smile when they entered Ikebukuro. He vaguely wondered what would happen if he indeed ran into Heiwajima Shizuo on his way to Simon's place. He doubted his sisters would be too sympathetic towards him (he had seen the many posters of Kasuka on their bedroom walls, so it was no question that they would want to stay on Shizuo's good side).

"Fugu (Will they serve puffer fish)…?" Kururi said faintly.

"No doubt. It's a modest place, but quite acceptable," Izaya reckoned.

"Puffer fish?" Mairu said excitedly. "Did you know, Iza-nii? Did you know that puffer fishes are actually very poisonous, and cooks have to spend years learning how to eat it properly? Just think! An itty-bitty careless mistake from the sushi chef and the customer would be paralyzed and strangled to death! Isn't that so intriguing?"

She giggled, switching her gait from a rushed pace to a lighthearted skip.

"You should order that today, Iza-nii!"

Yes, Izaya most certainly felt guilty for corrupting his sisters into absolute abnormality.

"Arrival (Are we there yet)…?" Kururi asked tentatively, squeezing Izaya's already abused wrist.

"It's right over—" Izaya was about to point toward Simon's sushi house before Mairu suddenly broke into a run. She still clutched Izaya's wrist and dragged him and her twin across the busy street teeming with taxis and bicycles, waving cheerily at the irritated drivers.

"Both of you are so slow!" Mairu said loudly when she suddenly halted at the curb, making Izaya and Kururi to nearly run right into a stop sign. "You're so irresponsible, Iza-nii! If you dragged us back any slower, we could have been hit by a car!"

"Ahh, Iza-ya," a slow, deep voice greeted them as Izaya tugged hard on Mairu's braids. Simon towered over all three of them, a large wad of coupons and advertisements in his large hands. His wide pink lips smiled serenely at them. "Has been long time since I see you before. You come in for sushi?"

"Surprisingly enough, I am," Izaya said. "Have enough ootoro to constitute an ocean, I hope?"

"Of course, of course!" Simon's voice boomed, clapping his hands on Izaya's thin shoulders. His eyes flickered toward Izaya's sisters on either side of him. Kururi wrapped her arms around Izaya and hugged him so tightly that it was like she was trying to hide from the world by melting into him. Mairu, on the other hand, grinned brightly at Simon.

"And you have company! Ah, yes, lots of sushi waiting for you. Come, come…"

Kururi was practically a human corset to Izaya, preventing him from moving. He ruffled her short hair, a crooked smile on his face.

"Don't tell me little Kururi is afraid of Simon," Izaya said slyly.

"Negative (I'm not afraid)…" Kururi's voice was muffled since she was pressing her face against his jacket.

"Don't tease her, Iza-nii. Why must you be so cruel?" Mairu laughed as she followed Simon into the restaurant. Izaya felt his eyebrow twitch at the comment before entering with Kururi.

"Does Iza-ya want a private room?" Simon asked as Mairu hurried to the bar that surrounded the sushi chefs at their work. She stood on her tiptoes, nearly pressing her nose against the glass barrier that lined the edge of the long table as she watched the sushi chefs deftly slice raw fish and shape the rice into little mounds.

"Iza-nii! Iza-nii!" Mairu exclaimed, her voice carrying over everyone else's conversations rumbling in the restaurant. "Let's sit here, 'kay? Maybe they'll teach me how to make fugu, and I'll make Iza-nii it someday!"

Izaya silently concluded never to accept any poisonous puffer fish dish from his sister. He shrugged, finding no immediate problem, and sat down in one of the stools at the side of the bar. Mairu and Kururi promptly sat on either side of him like the innocent little sisters they never were.

"Let's start with sashimi, shall we, Simon?" Izaya said calmly as Mairu tried to stand on her stool to tower over the sushi chefs and spy on their artwork like a hungry hawk.

"Ootoro?" Simon confirmed, taking out his exquisitely sharp knife. The sight of it made Mairu's eyes brighten considerably.

"That's a given," Izaya said swiftly. "Throw in some yellow tail and horse mackerel, too, I suppose."

"And puffer fish," Mairu said stubbornly.

Izaya felt a muscle jump in his jaw. "Why not," he said monotonously. Hopefully she wouldn't convince Simon to teach her how to prepare the dish and therefore what not to do when trying to poison someone with sashimi.

Mairu and Kururi were quite engrossed with Simon slicing the raw fish so Izaya took the opportunity to check his email on his cell phone. He received twenty new messages in the course of one hour. He laughed softly to himself before shutting the cell phone. He always enjoyed testing people's fickle patience.

"Simon is your name isn't it?" Mairu asked curiously. When Simon answered her with a nod and a smile, she shot questions at him immediately. "Why is it that there are no women making sushi? Are they working in the back?"

Simon gave a chuckle. "Women traditionally do not make sushi, little Orihara—" Izaya couldn't help but snigger at Mairu's new nickname. It already had a formidable ring to it. "—their temperature is slightly higher than men's, and it would make the sushi less fresh."

"Really?" Mairu said incredulously, her eyes wide. "But I must disagree! In the magazines I read, the man is always sweatier than the woman! The sweat is pouring out from every pore and his entire body is as red as a tomato!"

"What sort of magazine is this?" Izaya asked.

"Teehee! That's a secret that Iza-nii must not know!" Mairu sang, putting a finger to her smiling lips. Izaya turned questioningly to Kururi, who only shook her head.

"Classified (I'm not allowed to tell you)…" Kururi said to her unagi temaki.

"Ah, welcome, welcome!" Simon called out to more customers filing in as he rolled the paper-thin seaweed into fat rolls of rice, cucumber, and tuna. "You want sushi? Come, have some fresh, delicious sushi, won't you, Shi-zu-o?"

Izaya coughed into his green tea, some of it going down the wrong windpipe. He emerged from his coughing fit, his sly grin so wide that the Cheshire cat would have surrendered immediately. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see two figures—all too familiar—taking a seat right at the bar near the Oriharas. He leaned back, beaming brightly, with a pair of chopsticks holding a blushing slab of ootoro in one hand and his flickblade in the other.

"I'm surprised the monster Shizu-chan would enjoy eating sushi," he said casually. At the sound of Izaya's voice, Heiwajima Shizuo's back stiffened; his muscles taut and his eyes wide with horror and fury. "He seemed more like the type to devour boulders…or babies sacrificed to keep your savagery at bay."

"Izaya-kun," Shizuo muttered dangerously, his fingers twitching. Izaya watched with pleasure as Shizuo hunched his shoulders like a bulldog, ready to lash out his anger on everyone within a fifteen kilometer radius around him.

Just as Shizuo was about to tear the nearby booth from the wall and floor and hurl it at Izaya, Mairu looked up from her violent battle between the wasabi and shaved ginger. Her eyes grazed past Shizuo and widened when they fell upon Heiwajima Kasuka standing right beside him. She gasped and punched Kururi in the arm.

"Kure-nee! Kure-nee!" Mairu squealed. "Look, look! It's Shizuo-san and his little brother! It's Kasuka-kun!"

Shizuo froze, his hands already upon an unlucky booth. Mairu leaped out of her stool and rushed to the Heiwajima brothers, taking Shizuo's hands into hers. Izaya couldn't help but notice his jealousy rise when his own little sister opted for his arch nemesis. He stabbed a piece of tough squid with his chopstick quite vigorously.

"Shizuo-san! Can I talk to him? May I? Iza-nii is here too; do you want me to push him in front of a moving truck first?" she said quickly, tugging Shizuo's sleeve, not taking her eyes off of Kasuka, who remained quietly in the background.

Shizuo looked up at Izaya with fierce eyes. Izaya placed a whole roe nigirizushi in his mouth and waved cheerily at Shizuo. Shizuo gritted his teeth with fire in his eyes, appalled that the flea had the audacity to come to Ikebukuro again.

"You know what?" Shizuo said hoarsely. "No need. I think I'll do it myself."

Without a second's hesitation, Shizuo grabbed hold of a bar stool fastened to the ground. In a swift motion, he ripped it from the floor and flung it toward Izaya's head. Izaya readily leaned so far in his stool that his hands touched the ground as the stool soared right over him and crashed against the wall. He gracefully did a back flip out of his seat, laughing merrily.

"You can't even go through one single meal without trying to kill someone, huh, Shizu-chan?" Izaya goaded. "Typical; beasts kill to eat, after all!"

"Shut up, you louse!" Shizuo hollered, darting toward Izaya. He could have done serious damage to the smaller man had two pairs of hands suddenly grabbed him by the arms and restrained him. Shizuo was shoved against the wall, struggling to free himself and strangle Izaya.

"Aniki, stop!" Kasuka urged, his voice barely rising over Izaya's uncontrollable laughter.

"Let go of me!" Shizuo snarled at Kasuka and Simon. "I'm going to tear his damn head off and you can serve that to the customers!"

"For once, Aniki," Kasuka said desperately. "For once, could we have a peaceful time together?"

"You don't understand!" Shizuo said desperately. "This is no normal person! He's a monster!"

"You owe me a stool, Shizuo," Simon said very calmly, his strong hands handcuffing Shizuo to the wall. Shizuo felt his throat burn with anger and embarrassment. He had already broken his promise to Kasuka about not getting into any violence during their time together, but he couldn't stand the thought of Izaya doing whatever he wanted in Ikebukuro. It set him on fire.

"Fine," Shizuo spat. "Only because I promised you, Kasuka."

"Thank you," Kasuka sighed, hesitantly loosening his grip on his brother. Shizuo wrenched away from Simon's grip, doing everything in his power not to even look at Izaya.

"I'd like to request a private room, please," Shizuo said through gritted teeth.

Simon gave a sigh. "You came too late. If you come five, ten minutes earlier, it would be yours."

Shizuo scanned the restaurant. It was a busy night, and the only open spot was at the sushi bar.

Right next to the Orihara siblings.

"Let's eat somewhere else," Shizuo said automatically.

"No," Kasuka said firmly. "If you run away, you'll never learn to calm yourself in a situation like this."

"Kasuka, you don't understand! You didn't have to go to school with that—that—"

What infuriated Shizuo even more was that Izaya was playing innocent, feeding Kururi yellowtail with his chopsticks. The flea could easily be poisoning the poor girl.

"Aniki, just ignore him and he won't bother you," Kasuka said gently as if he was an elementary school teacher comforting a toddler. "Let's have a good night tonight, all right?"

"…dammit," Shizuo grunted. He reluctantly took a seat at the bar, now forced to be a little closer to Izaya because he had ripped his former seat off the ground. He crossed his arms so tightly across his chest that it would be a struggle to unknot them. Simon served each brother a bento box of fresh chirashizushi to start with. Without even uttering a word of thanks, Shizuo stabbed at the food with his chopsticks.

"Ne, ne, Shizuo-san~" Mairu said eagerly, forgetting about her maki rolls completely. "Would Kasuka-kun mind if I talk to him? Surely we can eat dinner together, right? We're right here, all together, after all!"

"Look, Mairu," Shizuo said hurriedly, "Kasuka's taking a break from all that acting pizzazz right now, so—"

Mairu jumped from her seat to the one right next to Shizuo. "I promise I'll help you kill Iza-nii! Please? I know you're too tempted to refuse!"

Too right she was. The idea of finally getting his hands on Izaya excited Shizuo, all memories of his promise to Kasuka vanishing. Izaya, on the other hand, was less than pleased that Mairu was plotting his death with that monster Shizu-chan. The end of his smile seemed to twitch with irritation, but he did not lose his composure.

"Oi, Shizu-chan," Izaya called out, plucking a single orange fish egg from his sushi, rolling it around his thumb and finger like a bright marble. "This reminds me of back in Raira. You know, the two of us eating lunch together before you go berserk and destroy ten thousand yen of school property, or trying to cram in some studying for a test you were bound to fail anyway—"

Crack. The tall cup of green tea that Shizuo was holding in his hand shattered, spilling hot water all over his hand. He barely winced when his skin seared from the burn; it did not compare to the fire of absolute hatred residing inside him.

"Now, Izaya," Simon said in his deep and soothing voice, casually waving around the razor-sharp knife a little too close to Izaya for his taste. "How do you enjoy sushi if you talk all the time?"

Izaya giggled before quietly eating his oshizushi. The five of them ate in silence (though Mairu and Kururi would cast longing glances at Kasuka, who pretended that neither of them were gawking at him), with only the tentative conversations around them filling in the silence (It was as if the people of Ikebukuro were so used to the banters that they only became concerned when blood was shed). It was almost going so well that Kasuka felt proud of his brother for keeping his calm for as long as five minutes.

He thought too soon.

"DA-A-A-AMMIT!" Shizuo bellowed, slamming his fist against the table and causing it to crack. "Even when you don't talk, you still piss me off, flea! I'm going to kill you!" He lunged toward Izaya, who promptly responded by dumping a whole bento box of unagi and rice onto his head.

"Aniki!" Kasuka cried out, but Shizuo was no longer listening. He had taken a whole stack of dishes and proceeded to pitch them at Izaya's head. Unfortunately for Izaya, Shizuo's aim with smaller projectiles was considerably better than with vending machines, and he received many a shattered china to the back of the head.

"Oh, this is horrible!" Mairu exclaimed melodramatically, clinging to Kasuka's arm in 'horror' and 'astonishment.' "What will we ever do?"

"Shizu-chan's throwing things awfully harder today!" Izaya said in a sweet sing-song voice as he leapt from table to table. "Are you trying to show off in front of little otouto-chan? I think that Kasuka is more ashamed of you than proud of you!"

"That does it!" Shizuo shouted. He uprooted a table—sushi, dishes, and all—and lobbed it toward Izaya. The corner of it hit him in the ribs and he toppled to the ground, his front speckled with discarded rice. Before Shizuo could deliver another blow, Izaya adroitly used his legs to pull the table on top of him so that Shizuo slammed against it instead of crushing Izaya.

"Aid (Should we help)…nii-sama (Izaya)?" Kururi asked her sister, watching her brother and Shizuo completely wreck the restaurant.

"They're big boys now~" Mairu said sweetly. "They need to fix their problems on their own."

Just as she said that, the glass door shattered as a chair flew right through it. Izaya took advantage of this and slipped right through the chair-shaped hole in the previously closed door. Shizuo, covered in smashed avocado and salmon roe, burst right through the doors after him.

"I-I-IZA-A-A-AYA-KU-U-UN! I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET!" his voice echoed through the streets. There were the sounds of screeching car tires, crashing glass, and Izaya's overexcited laughter exploding outside the restaurant. Nearly everyone left in the wrecked restaurant stared wide-eyed and open-mouthed out the door, debating whether to call the cops or call the military.

Kasuka gave a resigned sigh and shook his head. He knew that he should try to calm Shizuo down like he always did, but he reckoned it was better for Shizuo to run off some steam first before anyone tried to approach him. Now, the three of them—him, Mairu, and Kururi—were sitting rather awkwardly at the bar with two of its seats missing.

"So…what are your names?" Kasuka asked, breaking the silence. If he was here, he might as well not eat dinner alone.

Kururi and Mairu blinked confusedly at first before the both of them broke into positively ecstatic grins.

At last, Izaya did something useful for them.