Disclaimer: FFXIII and all related concepts are properties of respective owners. This is a fanfic, not for distribution, profit, etc.

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Cicatrices
Part II: Limbo

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It's probably cold, she thinks, because Snow takes off his coat and covers her with it. She doesn't know if she's been shivering and she has no idea if she stops.

Snow's hands are shaking, almost as much as his voice. He's holding her face now, trying to make her look, trying to make her focus. He's saying something to her. She can't hear him, not over the many footsteps and the other voices, but she sees his lips move and it looks like he's calling her, saying her name over and over and over.

She wants to tell him to make it all stop: the running, the shouting, the noise.

The ground shakes because they're running, they just won't stop running – or maybe it's Snow, shaking so much that he's shaking her – and it's making her stomach twist like it hasn't in days but even then, the only thing that hurts is her head.

She keeps trying to close her eyes - maybe the pain would go away, disappear along with Snow and all these people and everything else that isn't real - but Snow's not letting her go. He keeps talking to her, keeps saying her name until she finally hears his voice over the others, until it's the only thing she hears.

"Fang! C'mon, Fang, look at me. Stay awake, okay? We'll get you- damn it, no, Fang! Stay awake!"

He's so scared. She feels really, really bad about it.

She stares at him, right through him, and she wonders why he's still there. She tries to tell him to leave, to not be there the next time she blinks, but she can't speak because it's hard enough to just breathe. He doesn't get it, doesn't hear or know what she's thinking like he's supposed to, and it's a little funny that he's dense and stubborn even in her imagination.

She doesn't try again, not even to laugh.

She could fall asleep right now, if he would just let her.

The footsteps are back, louder, faster, closer.

A woman kneels beside Snow. They're talking in a hurry, as if they're running out of time. Fang doesn't understand what they're saying, only that Snow calls the woman Lebreau. Everything else is a jumble of stutters and murmurs and now her headache's getting worse because she's trying to turn it all back into words.

She kind of wants to hit them so they would stop, so they would shut up and keep quiet.

But she can't move her arms. Snow's coat is too heavy, that's why.

Lebreau is looking at her now. Snow is, too. They're hovering over her. One of them easily pushes the coat aside – she wants to scream how, how can they do that when she can't – and they're both being so careful with her, like they're afraid she's going to break. It sounds like they're asking her questions.

"Fang-" Lebreau says to her, and that's all she hears.

She knows that voice.

"What'll it be?"

She thinks of Cocoon, of a cafe on a beach.

"You look pretty tired."

She remembers drinking something cool and sweet. It's a little watery but it's not as tasteless as the fruit on the counter.

"So, this girl you're looking for... can you describe her?"

Vanille. Fang wants to see her smile, hear her laugh.

"I see... well, I hope you can find her soon so you can pat her on the head."

It would make her feel better, too. It would make her happy, too.

"Have you wished on the fireworks yet?"

That sounds like something Vanille would do.

"Well, if you haven't wished for anything yet, why not wish that you'll find her? Or maybe that she isn't crying?"

Fang looks up, expecting to see a black sky, a city in the clouds that shines like a star and fireworks, lots and lots of fireworks – maybe she has one thing to wish for, maybe two – but all that's there is a little gleam from Vanille's crystal and it's getting smaller and smaller.

She closes her eyes, she blinks, but she's still moving and suddenly, she feels.

Suddenly, she feels.

She feels the hands on her, the arms around her.

It's Snow: holding her, carrying her, and he's real.

He's real and he's taking her away, away from Vanille.

No.

He can't, he shouldn't. He can't.

"N-no... no!" she cries, she chokes, and she feels like she can't breathe but she says no again and again because he's not listening. He's just not listening.

It's almost like he can't even hear her.

Her stomach twists and this time it hurts.

He can't hear her.

She struggles to lift a hand. She's wrapped in the coat and it's in the way. It's so heavy and she's so weak that she's barely able to clutch his shirt. She's using her left hand; the other is limp and broken and it hurts even when she's not trying moving it.

Her fingers tremble. She tightens her grip.

She almost lets go because that hurts, too.

But she doesn't. She won't.

"Snow."

What she says doesn't sound anything like his name. Her voice is faint, hardly there, if at all.

She tries again.

"Snow. Snow."

She tastes blood and acid. It's painful to swallow, painful to speak.

But it's okay because finally – finally – he stops and he looks at her.

He smiles a little, like it's all he can do right now and he's sorry.

"We're getting you out of here, Fang. Just relax, okay? You're gonna be fine."

He pulls her closer, still gentle, still careful.

"You're gonna be fine," he repeats. He promises.

He's wrong because she won't be.

She'll never be, without Vanille.

She'll never be without Vanille.

They can't leave, not yet.

Her hand shakes.

She's awake now. She's angry now.

"I'm not," she growls, or she tries, but all that comes out is a whimper, "I'm not going anywhere without Vanille."

He stops again. She doesn't even know they've been moving.

"Fang, we..." he hesitates, his voice kind of cracks and he can't seem to look her in the eye for too long, "we don't know where Vanille is. We couldn't find her. I swear, Fang, I swear, they searched everywhere, checked every place they could get to, but there's just- we need to take you back, Fang, you're-"

"To hell with that!" she snaps, ignoring the burning in her throat that's getting worse and worse with every word she says. "Vanille's up there, Snow. She's still crystal, she hasn't..." she falters then, because now she's looking up, at Vanille, and she's thinking, wondering if Vanille is ever going to wake up.

She almost loses her grip on his shirt. Her fingers curl and dig into his skin.

"I'm not leaving Vanille."

Snow stares at her, and he's so easy to read that she can tell he's thinking about Serah right now: probably when she was crystal, how he said the same thing to Lightning in Lake Bresha. He nods at her, shows her he understands, then he turns around and looks up, where Vanille is.

He freezes. She's about to ask why but then he frowns at her and now it's even harder to talk.

"Fang," he whispers, and he pulls her even closer. "There's nothing up there, Fang."

She thinks he's kidding.

She really thinks he's kidding.

But he's still frowning.

She feels her heart beat one, two then three times before it sinks to her stomach.

"Vanille's not there, Fang."

She shakes her head.

He's wrong.

He's wrong.

She looks up to prove it, to show him that Vanille's right there.

She blinks.

She looks again.

There's nothing up there.

She stares a little longer.

She doesn't see Vanille.

Vanille's gone, and it's as if she's never been there to begin with, like the chocobo chick, and Sazh, and Lightning.

And for the first time, she wonders.

She wonders, and the grip she has on Snow feels heavy all of a sudden.

Fang feels a hand gently wrap around her wrist. It's warm and soft, just like the voice that's calling her name. She sees that it's Lebreau, trying to ease her fingers off Snow's shirt, and she lets go without a fight. She lets Lebreau bring her hand back down and tuck her back into the coat. She sees Lebreau and Snow exchange glances, but doesn't say anything anymore.

She looks up again, waiting, wishing to see Vanille, and she keeps looking until everything goes black.

But she doesn't see Vanille through it all.

一一一

A/N: Lebreau's italicized dialogue was directly lifted from Episode Zero.