Title: The Winchester Gospel 101: The men, the angels and how the world was saved. Characters/Pairing: Sam/Gabriel, Dean/Castiel, OC's and mention of Bobby, Lucifer and Chuck. Warnings: Suggestiveness, references to sexual acts, some mild cursing including a "C" word (no, not the one that ends in "T", you cretins!) and possibly some "what was she on?" crack! A/N: This is... I don't even know! Possibly the result of too little sleep, too much sugar and a bruised ego. What is it about being in a room full of very straight, testosterone filled boys, who are playing a computer game they just kicked your arse in, that inspires the writing of crack-y slash?
'Ok, well, that was fun. But, as much as we all know I love hanging with you chuckleheads, I have things to do and people to see. And, you know, things to see and people to do as well, if you catch my drift.'
It is much argued about amongst future scholars whether or not these mundane yet clearly obnoxious, sarcastic and innuendo filled sentences, changed the fate of the world. Heated deliberations have yet to find a definitive answer.
What they can all agree on however is that these commonplace words were the catalyst for a violent and theretofore unpredictable reaction from the younger Winchester.
As the professors of the popular college course "The Winchester Gospel 101: the men, the angels and how the world was saved" and world-wide experts on all things Carver-Edlund-written put it, 'The moment this statement was made a chain of events was set into motion that would change the group dynamic of "team-free-will" in such a way that the book series, all beings involved and, consequently, the destiny of the planet would never be the same again. It was a definitive moment in the progress of the apocalypse and an important occurrence in regard to humanity's triumph. It is only the level of importance, from an initial turning point to crucial in the extreme, which is debated.'
As Andrew Cooper, straight D student, sports scholarship recipient and permanent resident of the back row of the class, put it, '…Sam, who must have been hiding his massive gay love for Gabriel, snapped at yet another mention that the archangel was getting some and decided to man-up. He was all "Screw this for a joke, archangel's mine bitches!" and went caveman on Gabriel's butt. He pounced on Gabe before the angel could bamf-out and proceeded to shove his tongue down the shorter dude's throat while dry humping his leg. Thankfully, Gabriel was totally into it and didn't smite Sam's ass. In fact, he kind of grabbed it. Which totally freaked Dean out. Although, considering what we know through previous books concerning his and Castiel's activities, he had no right to cock-block his little bro. And it all worked out great, because, as it turned out, Gabe was secretly head-over-heels in love with Sammy and being made to face it forced the archangel to put on his big girl panties and choose a side once and for all. Sam's. And, because Sam was sort of human, humanity's. So they started getting two rooms at motels so both brothers could make sweet, sweet love to their respective angels and stopped the apocalypse, which was really just Lucifer having a temper tantrum, and they, and therefore we, lived happily ever after.'
The grade he received notwithstanding, Andrew really deserved a B+ for his essay. Despite the appalling spelling, crude language, dodgy grammar and copious amount of colloquialisms and clichés, he was pretty much spot on.
It would also shock his professors to learn that Andrew had, almost word for word, described the incident exactly as Dean Winchester had all those years ago. Robert Singer had been scarred for life.