What follows are the unedited audio-journal entries of Commander Shepard as she records daily her adventures as humanity's first spectre. As you well know, Commander Shepard was reported KIA over one year ago while on a mission to wipe out the last remnants of the geth invasive forces following Saren's attack on the Citadel. It is not only humanity that mourns the loss of the woman who saved all our lives that day, but to some extent all races owe her their gratitude. To commemorate her passing we have chosen to release these files to the public after they were discovered on an extranet backup site for freelance omnitool programs. It is our hope that by sharing in her adventures in this intimate, ad verbatim form that we can come to understand this brave hero better.

Sam note: Seriously? How do you come up with this bullshit? You realise after that intro they're actually going to listen to diary as well? This is probably the most damaging event to her reputation since the time she drove the Mako through the citadel - you know, the second time, after the attack.

Rek note: Calm down. She's dead, what does it matter now? Anyway we've already sold almost a million copies on pre-order. It doesn't matter anymore, this thing is going to make us a fortune!

Sam note: It better, since your omnitool programs cost us more than I care to remember. I'm still getting complaints from that now...You know the Alliance will have our asses for this.

Rek note: Over a million copies now, and they can't touch us, it's not classified data, she willingly agreed to backup support. It's already done anyway. It goes to production tomorrow, so DON'T FORGET to remove these notes before you hand it over to the manufacturer.

[Recording Entry: 01]

Hey Diary,

Just purchased one of these neat little record-your-own-journal programs off the extranet. Cost me seven creds and every other line on the netpage was highlighted in yellow but it's not as if I get any other chance to spend my pay these days.

I mean, sure, I grew up on ships and it's a hell of a lot better than being groundside...I just wish we docked more often. An' not on some little back-end colony or military facility. We never get any personal leave at any of the good places. For once I wish we could go to the Citadel or to Illium...I hear Illium is amazing. Everything is hand-crafted by asari artisans so it must be the best - actually, if it's hand-crafted, won't it be worse? An' if they have to hand-craft everything how do they produce so much stuff? What about those cars? Do they work on them centuries before bringing out a new line so they'll have enough? Hmm...

Anyway, whatever. Right now we're on route to some colony called Eden Prime. It's supposed to be really quaint and homey, all olde-worlde crape. I think tacking 'prime' on the end of the name makes it sound kind of suspicious though...like somewhere the Power Rangers would live. It's a shake-down cruise, we're just testin' the Normandy's sweet stealth systems. Technically we could test them anywhere, it's not as if the stealth systems even work for ground-based scanners...or do they? I don't think so. I'll ask Adams later if he's not busy. Either way, I still don't see the point of coming all the way out here just for a little privacy...

...

Nihlus just walked by. I have to whisper so he doesn't know I'm talking about him. That guy is hell of such as suspicious...what's he even doing here? He's a spectre so he should have more important stuff to do than hang out on two-bit side missions like this one...Plus I get the feelin' he's got his eye on me. It's like everywhere I look he pops up out of the shadows like a ninja. Oh god, maybe I'm under investigation...I didn't think anyone would ever find out about that...oh my god, if there's a spectre watching me then I am totally fucked-

Ahem? Commander Shepard?

Ho- shit! Sir Nihlus! I mean, Nihlus, Sir. Yes...what can I do for you?

At ease, Commander Shepard. I merely stopped by to tell you we have successfully passed through the Mass Relay. We'll be nearing our destination soon, I thought you might want to start preparing yourself. I noticed you were rather...sidetracked.

Oh. Yes, of course. I was just recording my thoughts on the mission so far. I like to keep myself updated whenever possible to increase the accuracy of my mission reports.

I see...

Out of interest, how long were you standing there?

Long enough, Commander.

...

Fuck-fuck-fuck. Shepard out!

[End of Recording]

[Recording Entry: 01-b]

Hey Joker. Check this out. Speak into my audio-diary. Look, it records everything!

Seriously, Commander? What are you, thirteen? Gonna fill your omnitool's memory banks with gossip about cute boys?

Haha, it's totally recording! I just bought it off the extranet.

You paid for that? You know that type of crap is already installed on your omnitool right?

What? No it's not, this is a journal service!

You can already record on a basic omnitool. All that thing does is put everything in the same file, like you couldn't do that yourself.

You're just jealous. I'd buy you one but you never do anything to record. "Oh, today I sat in a chair and pushed some buttons!"

Hey! Without people like me, people like you wouldn't get anywhere to do anything in the first place. You wouldn't be the big hero if a pilot didn't get you to the Skyllian Verge.

Oh yeah, totally. I should definitely write a letter of gratitude to the guy who dropped me down into that cross-fire. Thank him for all my sweet battle scars. Without these I wouldn't have guys lining up to ask me out on dates, oh, wait...

I don't think your face has anything to do with the lack of romance in your life, Commander...

I'm pretty sure that's exactly what it is. What else could it be? Anyway, I'm not a hero anymore. We're not dropping down into a warzone. That's why I got assigned to the Normandy for a playtime mission like this.

I wouldn't be so sure about that, Commander. Not with a Spectre onboard.

You're paranoid Joker-

Hey Alenko.

-Hi Commander. Anyway, the council helped fund this project, they have a right to send somebody onboard to monitor it.

Yeah, that is the official story...and only an idiot believes the official story.

What? What are you guys talking about? Oh god, he didn't mention me did he?

What? No. I'm just saying, there's more here than the Captain's letting on- wait, are you still recording? I'm not speaking anymore if you're going to be recording. You'll probably leave it somewhere and get us all fired.

Oh, fine. Shepard out.

[End of Recording]

[Recording Entry: 01-c]

Pressley just spazzed out on me, he thinks there's something else going on with this mission. He all up about Nihlus...he says it's suspicious. I knew it! Nihlus isn't here to watch us play hide-and-seek! He's onto me! Wait, what is that? Damn, I think there's still some shampoo in my hair. Now my mouth tastes funny...

Shepard out.

[End of Recording]

[Recording Entry: 01-d]

Hey Diary. I don't have a lot of time to make an organised entry at the moment. We're heading down to figure out all this crap that's going on down on Eden Prime right now. I'm just prepping my gear before we get to the drop point, so I'll just give you a quick rundown of what happened.

Okay, about Eden Prime...so as soon as we neared it I went down to see Captain Anderson about the mission but when I got there Nihlus was the only one waitin' for me in the briefing room. He was acting all weird, more so than usual. He starts pacin' up and down and talking about how we humans are newcomers and haven't proven ourselves yet, and that our colony is some kind of...symbol for humanity. The whole thing was kind of suspicious, like he was about to set off some kind of villainous diatribe. I never got a chance to ask him about it though because Anderson comes in all "We should tell her about it now."

Apparently this whole trip has just been some kind of cover up. Our mission wasn't about testing the stealth systems at all, it has something to do with this prothean beacon the settlement has uncovered when they've been digging. Now, I don't usually pay attention to all this prothean crap, mostly because all the good discoveries were made before I was born, just like the First Contact War, so I don't feel all this awe or hate or whatever it is the older generations do to pass the time when they're not eating pudding. Still, even I know that a prothean beacon is big news. Their technology was way more advanced than ours is, so Anderson and the Council think that whatever's inside that beacon is valuable enough to get even a spectre involved.

Enough about that though, here's the really spectacular news...an' I'm not sure if he's here specifically for the beacon or whether they're pulling a two-birds move, but Nihlus is also onboard to evaluate me for a spectre position! I'm going to be humanity's first spectre! It turns out he's not a ninja after all, and now that I'm not worried about him being onto my secret he doesn't seem like such a bad guy. Apparently he was the one who put my name forward. It doesn't seem like he has the same grudge against humans that a lot of turians have and he certainly is polite and quite sociable...well, sort of. He's spoken to me on a few occasions. He also seems to spend a lot of time looking at me in this kind of special way, like we're by the ocean and the waves are crashing all around us and he's imagining tearing off my bodice.

I just, I don't know Diary! I definitely get the feeling that maybe Nihlus is attracted to me. I am a super big deal around here anyway. It is entirely possible that news of my courageous exploits has reached him and impressed him enough to make him consider humans. I mean, it's probably possible...and god, it's been a long time since I've had a date...

Ugh. Shepard out-wait, no! I forgot. Eden Prime is under attack by some giant hand-ship. Everybody's been shot. We saw a video.

Okay, now Shepard out.

[End of Recording]