You Comedy Combat: Take Two!

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

As the lemon power was beginning to dissipate, the onlookers of the battle between Naruto and Kiba were trying to decipher just what their ears heard mere seconds ago.

'…Comedy Combat?'

"Comedy Combat. What a stupid sounding way to fight," Kankuro scoffed.

"First time I've ever heard of it," Temari shrugged, still paying attention to the fight. "Still, we can't overlook any type of fighting in this exam. It sounds stupid, but I'd say that the Uzumaki kid has the advantage right now."

"Hey, forehead!" Ino shouted over to Sakura, much to the pinkette's annoyance. "You're Naruto's teammate, so you should know what he's talking about. What the hell's this 'Comedy Combat' that he's bragging about?"

"Even if I did know what he's talking about, what makes you think that I'd tell you, piggy?" Sakura shouted back, sticking her tongue out at Ino.

"Humph! Fine, that style sounds stupid anyway! Anyone with half a brain could beat it!" Ino snarled.

"So how do you explain Kiba rolling around on the ground in pain?" Shikamaru inquired, watching as Kiba did just that, loudly shouting out every curse word in the book.

"I said someone with half a brain, not no brain at all!" Ino scoffed.

"I CAN HEAR YOU, YA KNOW!" Kiba roared, slowly getting to his feet while doing his best to get the power out of his eyes.

"Aw, wat wong, baby? Did wittle Kiba-kun not like gift Naruto give him?" Naruto said in a baby like tone.

The Feral Nin's eye twitched as he grabbed a bottle of water out of his coat pocket. "Oh…don't get me wrong. I rather enjoyed your 'wittle gift'. After all, it just gave me that much more of a reason to not feel too bad when I rip you to shreds!" Kiba snarled, splashing some water into his eyes to fully get rid of the power. "No more Mr. Nice Guy. I was gonna just take you out nice and quick with little pain. But now…Akamaru's gonna join the fight, and you'll regret ever making a monkey out of me! Let's go, Akamaru!"

…

…

…

"…Akamaru? Where are you?" Kiba shouted, looking all around the arena. But no matter where he searched, he couldn't find his furry little companion anywhere.

"What's the matter, dog-breath? Lose something?" Naruto said, looking bored as all hell.

"Whattaya think, smart ass? Where did Akamaru go?" Kiba snarled.

"No clue," Naruto shrugged. He then put his hands into the position for his signature move. "But I gotta say, just standing here and watching you look for your puppy is pretty dull. So if ya don't mind, I think I'm gonna entertain myself with a little meal. Shadow Clone Jutsu!"

With a cloud of smoke, two more Narutos appeared next to the original. But these ones were wearing different clothing.

One of them had on a white chef's apron, complete with ridiculously tall Chef's hat, and the apron had words on it that said, 'Kiss the Clone'.

The other Naruto wore a jet black tuxedo complete with tacky red bow tie. His hair was slicked back as well, and he also had a blonde mustache with a twirl at both ends.

"Your dinner is ready, sir," The fancy dressed Naruto said in a regal tone.

"Great! Break out the table and silverware!" Naruto declared.

The Waiter Naruto reached behind his back…and pulled out a small table complete with a floral pattern tablecloth and gleaming silverware on top of it.

Everybody in the arena blinked a couple of times, as if their eyes were trying to make sense of what just happened.

"…Did I just see what I thought I saw?" Ino deadpanned.

"You mean the French style Naruto pulling out a small dining table from out of nowhere, complete with floral pattern tablecloth, candlelight, and various silverware?" Shikamaru asked.

"…Okay, so I'm not the only one," Ino sighed in relief.

"Where the hell did you pull that out of?" Kiba said, still glaring at Naruto.

"My ass," Naruto deadpanned, whipping a dinner napkin around his neck as he took a seat at the table, picking up his knife and fork. "Look, you mind being quiet for a bit? I'd like to enjoy my meal in peace."

The Naruto that was dressed like a chef produced the dish for the real Naruto to enjoy.

"Here you go, sir. I think this is my greatest creation yet." The chef Naruto said.

"Thank you very much, clone." Naruto said, licking his lips. "I worked up a full appetite whipping this guy's ass."

As the chef put the dish down onto the table, Naruto lifted up the tray that hit the dish from sight. But when it was revealed, everyone in the arena gasped of fright.

"AKAMARU!" Kiba shouted in horror.

Right before Kiba's eyes was a terrified looking Akamaru, with an Apple in its mouth to prevent it from barking out to his master. It was laid out like a Christmas turkey, with vegetables of all shapes and sizes surrounding it.

Naruto licked his lips and picked up his knife and fork.

"Oh boy, my favorite! Fresh Akamaru meat!" Naruto said, grinning with shark-like teeth.

"LET HIM GO!" Kiba shouted, rushing towards Naruto with the intent of maiming him.

"Okay. You can have him," Naruto shrugged, tossing Akamaru towards the enraged Kiba.

Kiba quickly caught his animal companion, removing the Apple from his mouth. "Akamaru, are you okay? Speak to me!"

Akamaru whimpered for a few seconds, nuzzling against his master. But soon after, he began to chuckle. And it was a human chuckle.

"Hook, line and sinker, dog boy..." Akamaru snickered... in Naruto's voice.

"What the?" Kiba shouted. But before he could do anything, Akamaru changed into Naruto in a poof of smoke.

"Hello there," Naruto said cheekily. He quickly followed that up with a kick directly into Kiba's face, using him as a springboard to bounce back while Kiba flew across the arena, landing hard on to the ground.

"Ta-da!" Naruto said, bowing to the rest of the onlookers.

Everyone else looked impressed, especially Kurenai, much as she was loath to admit.

"How the heck was Naruto able to fool Kiba like that?" Kurenai thought. "Kiba's superior sense of smell should've tipped him off that that wasn't the real Akamaru."

"Owwww…" Kiba groaned, rubbing his now red and tender nose. "How could I fall for such a stupid trick... That prick smelled so much like Akamaru that I couldn't tell the difference!"

"Too bad, dog boy. Did you really think that I'd eat your number one partner? Even I'm not that much of a bastard," Naruto said. "In fact, I happen to have him right here."

Naruto opened up his orange jacket, revealing Akamaru taped up to the right side. Akamaru whimpered when he caught sight of his master.

"Considering how much you were worried for this guy, I'm guessing that he's an important part of your battle strategy. So as long as I have him, it'll be much harder for you to beat me. Not to mention that as long as he's this close to me, I can make every single one of my clones smell like him. So, what are you going to do now?" Naruto taunted.

Kiba didn't say anything. He just nodded towards Akamaru, and Akamaru nodded back. And before anyone could figure out what was happening, Akamaru opened his mouth wide, and Kiba quickly through a pill into his open mouth before Naruto could turn away.

Shortly after Akamaru swallowed the pill, he began to turn red. Naruto gave off a loud gulp as the feral puppy glared up at him. Akamaru easily freed himself from Naruto, rushing towards Kiba and ramming through the other three clones along the way, turning them into confetti.

"Good boy, Akamaru," Kiba praised, petting the growling puppy. "Now, let's show this bastard our true power!"

Akamaru growled in agreement, hopping onto Kiba's back.

"Now you're as good as dead, Naruto..." Kiba growled with a smirk on his face. "Ninja Art of Beast Mimicry; Man Beast Clone!"

With those words, Akamaru transformed into a clone of Kiba himself, complete with matching outfits.

"Now you've got double the trouble facing you, you bastard," Kiba and Akamaru snarled together.

"Oh goody. This just means that it'll be even more embarrassing for you when I defeat you!" Naruto declared confidently.

"We'll see about that. Let's go, Akamaru!" Kiba shouted.

Kiba and Akamaru rushed towards Naruto, the dog nin throwing a smoke bomb to hide their advance.

... Only for Naruto to blow away the smoke with a portable fan and dodge them easily.

"Where the hell are you pulling all this stuff out of!" Kiba shouted.

"Didn't we already discuss this?" Naruto said, rolling his eyes. "I thought you were much faster than this, Kiba. Don't tell me that I'm too much for you!"

"You want speed, Naruto? I'II SHOW YOU SPEED!" Kiba roared. "Let's get him, Akamaru!"

Akamaru barked in agreement. All of a sudden, the two twirled around and became a hurricane of teeth and fangs, heading straight for Naruto!

"Take this, Naruto! Fang over Fang!" Kiba shouted from the whirlwind.

"Oh, SNAP!" Naruto shouted, running away like the hounds of hell were after him, barely dodging Kiba's attack.

"Too bad, but it's only a matter of time before Kiba gets that boy now, Kakashi," Kurenai said smugly.

"I wouldn't count Naruto out so soon, Kurenai," Kakashi chuckled. "Just look below.

Kurenai did so...and saw that Naruto, while running...was eating a banana.

"...What the hell?" Kurenai went.

"Why is that idiot eating a banana at a time like this?" Ino shouted, unable to comprehend just what Naruto was thinking.

"… I'd like to say that I have no idea, but if Naruto is trying what I think he's trying…" Shikamaru said, resisting the urge to facepalm.

"Is that kid for real?" Kankuro said, getting what Naruto was about to do.

He got his answer when, once Naruto was far enough away from Kiba, the blond threw the banana peel unto the floor.

Kiba could smell the peel. "Do you really think that something like a banna peel will help? Akamaru and I will just rip it, and YOU, to shreds!" Kiba gloated, as he and Akamaru charged towards Naruto.

'Got to time this just right...' Naruto thought, waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting...NOW!

"Get a good whiff of this, Kiba!" Naruto shouted, plucking a small green bomb from his Kunai pouch. "Stink Bomb Blast!"

Naruto launched the foul ball directly towards Kiba and Akamaru. They shredded it apart with ease, but that's just what Naruto wanted. The second the ball was shredded apart, Kiba and Akamaru received the full brunt of the foul-smelling liquid. Their eyes were closed, luckily for them, but their noses which they were using to track down Naruto were not so lucky.

Akamaru was immediately knocked out by the smell, falling out of his tornado form and skidding to the side. Kiba was able to remain conscious, but there were tears in his eyes from how strong the smell was. So he couldn't see the banana peel that he was sliding towards, until it was too late. And since he was going so fast, he literally flew into the air backwards after he slipped on the peel.

Not wasting any time, Naruto was right there with him holding, of all things, a rubber chicken.

"Did I ever tell you that I was a Master of Cluck-Fu?" Naruto asked as if he were discussing the weather, swinging the chicken like one would do with nunchucks. "Now, you can have a firsthand taste of it!"

Kiba couldn't say or do anything. All he could do was cover his nose and mouth in an attempt to keep from throwing up, glaring at Naruto all the while.

"Nothing to say? Oh, well. I'll just end this now, if you don't mind. Chicken Strike!" Naruto declared.

Naruto twirled the rubber chicken above his head for a few seconds, before lashing it down on top of Kiba's chest, launching the dog nin towards the ground.

Kiba hit the floor at full force, losing consciousness instantly, while Naruto landed perfectly on his feet, grinning like a maniac.

"Well, that was fun!" Naruto laughed.

"The winner of this match is, Uzumaki Naruto!" Hyatae announced.

"I… I can't believe it. That knucklehead actually won!" Ino said in disbelief.

"Humph. Just goes to show that even the most unlikely of combat styles can be deadly, if in the right hands," Shikamaru shrugged.

"Well done, Naruto." Kakashi said softly, smiling underneath his mask.

"That was great! In fact…I feel like...dancing!" Naruto declared.

Out of nowhere, some music began to play, while Naruto busted out some dance moves. He then begin to spin around and around in the air while the music sang some lines.

Get down

Yureru mawaru fureru setsunai kimochi

Futari de issho ni nemuru winter land

Anata dake mitsumete watashi dake mitsumete

Asu wo chikau

Gyutto dakare moeru koigokoro

Hageshiku maichiru yuki ni tsutsumarete

Eien ni ai shiteru kyou yori ai shiteru

Zutto eternal love

"…What the blue hell is he doing?" Kankuro said during the bizarre dance.

"He's just…spinning around. How the hell is he staying in the air like that?" Temari added.

"…And why is he doing all of those rapid-fire pelvic thrusts?" Ino gaped.

At the end of the song, both Naruto and the song itself came to an abrupt halt.

"Thank you," Naruto said. He then just jumped back onto the railing like nothing happened.

Everyone just stared at him.

…Except Hinata, who lost consciousness the second she saw Naruto perform those pelvic thrusts, with a bleeding nose and a huge smile on her bright red face.

Author's Note: Well, I hope you enjoyed the latest chapter. Sorry it took so long to come out, but I've learned two things during the time it took to make this. One, TV Tropes does indeed ruin your life. And two, it's a bitch trying to type out a chapter of a Fanfic using your new Dragon Naturally Speaking program when you are recovering from having one of your teeth pulled out. Until my mouth feels fully better, this'll probably be the last chapter for a bit. Hope you enjoyed it, and Catch you next Continue!

PS: Look at my profile, and you will see a link to the dance that Naruto performed after his victory against Kiba at the very bottom. Thanks!

PPS: Also, I've decided to keep on going with my original Art of Comedy Combat fanfic! Just think of this one as the vastly different Manga version, kinda like how the Yu-Gi-Oh GX Anime and Manga are vastly different. See ya later!