Cough This is my first attempt on writing Final Fantasy IX...I'm going to write a collection of drabbles/one-shots/whatsoever, and I have absolutely no idea to which characters I will write or in what order. I've got one for Eiko and one for Amarant in my head, and maybe I'll come up with one for Blank and one for Dagger/Garnet... Ehm, we'll see about that. Yeah, so like, enjoy. Freymarant FTW.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Final Fantasy IX and I so want to do that I'm crying myself to sleep.

Amarant & Freya

Dear to Me

He did not know for how long he had loved her. Maybe since that very first time they had met, down at the small harbour in Alexandria. He had been on his way towards the water, she away from it. When they met, so did their eyes. Maybe he had fallen in love with her then, when their gazes were linked together for a few seconds. Of course, she couldn't see his eyes; they were hidden beneath his fiery dreadlocks as usual, and he could only get glimpses of sparkling emerald green under that dragon head-shaped hat and her silver hair.

Her hair, how he loved it. It was so different from his own. It was silky and shimmering like a moonlit river in a starry night; her eyes being the gentle and yet so bright stars far away in the black sky. Yes, so far away from him. She was an angel, he always believed that she was when he saw her jump high into the air, as if she had invisible wings and flew.

She was an angel, a seraph belonging in the heavens, and he was a demon. The flames of hell in his hair, in his body, in his soul, eating, tearing, crushing. He was the Flaming Amarant. She was the Lady Freya.

So far away, and still so near. Because the fire burned inside her too. That he had known since the first time. When looking at her, stunned by her beauty and utter grace, she glared at him back. When she first spoke, she revealed four small but sharp fangs, more like those of a cat than a rodent. But her tail and ears were those of a rat, as well as her paw-like hands and feet.

"What are you staring at?"

Her voice, her melodic voice, like silver bells ringing, woke him up. It also awoke the fire. He was again the Flaming Amarant, gladly fighting everything living that happened to be in his way.

"...Are you really that tough?" he asked. He could see that she was, she was a dragon knight of Burmecia, but he just had to ask. It was in his nature to do such things.

"Try me!"

They would have fought if the guards and Zidane hadn't gone between. When he realised that she was a friend of the monkey-boy, he tried to use the young man to present himself. He couldn't tell her who he was by himself, he just couldn't. They had just been seconds away from fighting each other, and her lovely eyes still lingered in his memory.

It wasn't much of a first meeting. Sometimes he wondered what would have happened should they have fought each other. Maybe he wouldn't have fallen in love with her, maybe they would've remained rivals even after having joined forces. He could not know. All he knew was that he could never accept it, his love for her, not him who once had vowed never to love again. But that was many years in the past, and she was in the present as well as in the future. Still, he couldn't accept it. So he tried to hide it from her, from the others, from himself. But it only grew.

In the tower in Alexandria, that night when Bahamut attacked, he told Zidane that the young man made him sick with all his playing hero-games. He could not understand how Zidane was willing to risk his own life for that of another. I the world of Amarant Coral, each and every person cared only for themselves. After all, humans were a selfish species. But at the same time, he knew that he too had once cared that much for a girl, and that maybe, maybe he cared that much for a new woman now. He had even told her a little about his past; about that very first time he had met Zidane, an event which the thief seemed to have forgotten.

But still, he could not accept it. He just couldn't.

He was chosen to come with Zidane to Oeilvert, together with the bone-headed rusty knight and her. In the dark building, they were often attacked by Epitaphs. And when they mirrored her...

"I'm Freya!"

And he heard her voice, her sweet voice, and he had to fight her. Even though he knew it was just a simulacrum, just the thought of having to slice her with his metal claws made his soul twist and turn, his mind scream in pain and his heart strings ache. He did not want to fight her, but what choice did he have? He couldn't resist. So he hit her, until she fell down on the stony floor, and the illusion disappeared. He didn't want to. But he had to, this he knew. Should he hesitate, the copy would hurt the real Freya, and he could not bear that. He didn't care if it hit Zidane or Steiner, he did not care if it hit him, as long as it didn't hurt her. He couldn't allow her to be harmed. Not her. Not Freya.

So he killed the false Freyas, one after another, his heart still in great pain. But every time a simulacrum fell and vanished, she was still standing by his side, living, breathing, real. And his heart heated and flamed, he thanked his dreads for being in his face all the time. Otherwise she would have noticed the love, the passion and the devotion in his eyes. He could not let that happen; he could not let her know.

Because he still couldn't accept it.

At Ipsen's Castle, he forced himself into being his old self. Into being cool, tough, strong. Going by his own was his way to prove to Zidane that working alone beat working in a team any day, as well as prove to himself that he did not need her by his side. That he still was the Flaming Amarant, the lonewolf who did not fall in love with rat-ladies from the Realm of Eternal Rain.

And he beat them, he really did. At the goal, he waited for them. Told Zidane that he was the winner, and that he did not care about them any more, that he was leaving. And all the time, she had her eyes on him, he could feel her gaze burn a big, maiming hole through his body, straight to his heart and soul. And yet he did not give in. He played the big bully Amarant, who didn't care whether they died the next second. And he left, now feeling her eyes following him, leaving blistering marks in his back.

But he was careless, and fell into a trap. When he was lying there, he could see her before his open eyes. Her face told him that it was his rightful punishment for leaving her, even though he knew that he loved her. That this, being situated here, crippled and broken, was exactly what he deserved.

Despite his past actions, the monkey-boy came to save him. He still couldn't understand. Sure, Zidane had gone to save Dagger, whom he loved, but this? Saving a man who hated him, who did nothing else than taunting him and being as stubborn and grumpy as a sulking chocobo? Who had told them that they might be enemies the next time they met? He reminded Zidane of this, and yet the young man helped him on his feet. And suddenly he didn't feel so broken any more. Maybe it had been his heart, and not his bones, that had been crushed against the hard, cold stone. But he was going back to her now, and thus he did not feel any pain. He was going to see her again, hear her voice again, see her beautiful eyes and silver hair again.

When Zidane chose to send him and Freya to the Fire Shrine, a shiver ran down his spine, but he could not let anyone notice how much this announcement affected him, no. Instead he pretended to be annoyed, asked why he had to go with her, knowing that she could hear his harsh words. When Zidane teasingly wondered if he wanted to go with Eiko, he remained silent, his heart pounding inside his chest.

At the Shrine, he let her take the lead, since she was the one Zidane had trusted with the mirror.

"That was too easy... it must have been disappointing for you", she said a little by the way.

He said nothing. Yes, their stroll through the stone tunnel hadn't been very exciting, but just the fact that he had been alone with her, so near her, was excitement enough.

"Now, I'll place the mirror here..." she said, reaching forward to put the mirror in the recess obviously meant for it.

Then, he could suddenly sense something, feel something. The fire inside him told him that another fire was starting, that the two hot-tempered warriors had lit it. And it was dangerous. It was going to harm her if he did not act.

"Freya, stand back!" he yelled, and shoved her aside.

The next second Maliris, the Fire Guard appeared where Freya had been standing a second ago. After telling them about Kuja and Terra, they had to fight her. He wounded the viper-woman severely, letting Freya deal the killing blow.

He had saved her. He really had saved her. He could in his memories hear his own voice calling her name, her beautiful name. It seemed to him like his gruff voice shouldn't be allowed to speak her name. It was like a fiery demon trying to embrace an icy angel. They simply did not belong together, he understood that.

But he couldn't accept it.

Oh, what a grand escape from Terra, and in nothing less than the very airship that destroyed the homes of Dagger and Eiko, and killed the young queen's mother. They were all shaken, it seemed. Yes, he was too, even if he did his best to hide it. He tried so hard not even her striking a conversation with him could get him off balance.

"Well, I was talking to Amarant about it earlier..."

Oh, to hear her voice speak his name! It was the greatest of joys, it made him feel as mighty as the ship he was flying in, invincible. He could've stopped a rampaging Behemoth with his bare hands, or soared through the skies like a dragon, the loyal servant of wind, or defeated Kuja all by himself.

And yet, he spoke as any other of them would have done, worried. Was this the end? Would Kuja destroy the world? He didn't want that to happen. He didn't give a damn whether he lived or died, but he could not let Freya be harmed. No, should Kuja have survived, he needed to be stopped, as soon as possible. The Iifa Tree was the answer. Would that overgrown plant be their final destination, where they would meet their fate face to face? And now the dreaded Mist was back, holding Gaia in it's claws again. The evil Mist, anew covering the planet, causing terror and spreading fear among its inhabitants. They had to put an end to this, they were chosen to be the champions of the world. Such a big task for them. For him, an unemployed security guard, once tricked by a boy. Could he make it? Yes. Yes, he could, because he had something to fight for, something dear to him to protect.

They left the Genomes in Black Mage Village. He stated that seeing them in all their ignorance was like watching kids play. Then he asked her if lost time could be recovered. Could it? Could he use all those years he spent doing nothing of importance to be with her instead? No. She said she didn't know, that there was only one thing they could do. To protect the Genomes from everybody who tried to take their time away from them, and yes, he agreed. She was so kind, so gentle, and yet so strong. How could he do else than agree with her? How was he supposed not to love her? But he wasn't meant to.

He still couldn't accept it.

In Memoria, that snake appeared once again. Hadn't he and Freya slain it? Yet it was here, and fight it again they did. After Marilis, the other guardians followed; Tiamat, Kraken and Lich. There were other monsters as well, and at the end of their hard journey through Memoria, they were rewarded with nothing else than more fights; Deathguise, Kuja, and eventually Necron. Now, fighting he knew. Battle he could. Combat he was good at. It was like a dance to him, avoid, attack, evade, attack, jump, attack, constantly flowing back and forth, mind closed, eyes focused at his target. Never did he let fear get hold of him, not once. Never did he let the fear they were facing get hold of her, never did he let it come near her. Without anybody noticing, he took the blows in her stead, feeling the pain pierce his body. But he didn't care, for he knew that should she had been hit, the pain in his heart would've been even greater.

He couldn't accept that.

Spread like leaves for the wind they did, when Zidane wasn't there to keep them together. She returned to Burmecia, to live with her beloved Sir Fratley, and he went back to walking around. He thought of her every single day, hour and second. Always was she there in his head, her eyes, her voice, her smile. And his heart ached. But he would not give in to those dear memories, he would endure.

Some time later, he walked towards Alexandria. He felt that after all they had gone through together, he should honour his past comrades-in-arms by being there and watching the Tantalus Theatre Troupe perform 'I Want To Be Your Canary'. And he hoped that she'd be there too. Lani caught up with him on the way. He didn't care whether she came along or not; he didn't need her or her ruthless behaviour. He wanted to be alone, or with his friends, with her.

Never would he have expected Zidane to come back. He, just like everybody else, had though that the monkey-boy was dead. But truly, it was a grand come-back. And yes, he, just like everybody else, was happy to see the young man again. Standing so near her that he could feel the warmth of her body, he, just like everybody else, applauded.

What he could feel...was happiness. Nothing else than pure happiness. Zidane had taught him much, even if he hadn't wanted to admit it.

Later, when all their celebrating was over, and it was time for them to part anew, he found himself standing with her some distance away from the others. He saw the sunshine reflect in something, and when he searched for the source of the reflex, he understood that it had come from a ring on her hand.

"Has Fratley finally proposed?" he asked, trying harder than ever before to hide his true feelings.

She looked confused at first, but then looked down at the ring.

"Oh, you mean this? No, no. It's not an engagement ring, it's just an ordinary add-on. But this particular ring reminds me of something I love...something dear to me."

He didn't understand what she meant, and they went separate ways again. Still, he could think of her only.

It wasn't until after a couple of days that he came to realisation of the meaning of her words.

The ring she wore...it was a Coral ring.

Tell me you got it. Please. It's like the most awesome plot I have ever come up with. So please tell me you got it.

Amarant's last name is Coral. Freya is wearing a Coral ring, and she says it reminds her of something dear to her. Isn't that über cuteness? I so love it. I'm smart sometimes.

Anyway this makes me fangirlsession and yet I have written it. It's just so cute! Please tell me what you think of it :)