Meowth's WoodDoor- Hysteria Hotel

After many minutes of walking (4 approximately), the duo found themselves in a grassy area that was surrounded by nothing but bushes. In the distance, they spotted a large tree, which seemed to have a bunch of windows attached to the side, which were all enveloped in wooden frames. As they neared the base of this massive oak, they came across a sign, which seemed to have the same writing as the top of this chapter, along with an arrow pointing at the before mentioned tree. Seeing as the two were looking for hotels, they both decided to approach the giant planty thing made of wood to investigate further.

"Looks kinda peaceful!" said Pikachu, who was expecting more doom and gloom (the adverb, not the pokémon) from one of Giovanni's residences.

"Looks are deceiving, when members of Team Rocket are involved..." warned Buneary, who seemed to keep staring at YOU for some reason.

After saying this, the two stopped at the bottom of the tree to admire how large the thing seemed to be from their perspective. After a couple of seconds, Buneary turned away from Pikachu and then bent over to get onto all fours, before looking back at Pikachu and inviting him to do something, with a nod. Pikachu got the hint, and then decided to comply by jumping on top of her and then using her as a springboard to launch himself upwards. His plan worked, as he soon found himself sailing into one of the open windows of the hotel. Buneary, who apparently wasn't expecting such an action from him, however, cried out in a mixture of pain and shock.

"Well, aren't you going to bounce up here with me or something?" called back Pikachu, who was confused as to why she was still in the exact same position as before.

"Gah! I... I think you broke my back!" groaned Buneary, painfully.

"Huh? You're gonna stay there 'till I get back? Well... Ok then, if you insist!" called back Pikachu, who seemed to have misheard her.

Buneary tried again, "No, really, call a doctor! Ow..."

"No, I told you, we'll get a burger on the way to the second hotel! Anyway, see ya in a bit!" answered Pikachu, who then went inside the treehouse.

"..."

"Honestly, she just doesn't listen to a word I say sometimes..." Pikachu muttered to himself, as he wandered down a hallway that was surrounded by leafy branches and other things that you'd expect to find on a tree.

As he continued down the hall, he noticed that the entire wall on his left side was completely littered with open doors, which all lead to empty spaces that seemed to serve no purpose. Instead of investigating the rooms behind the doors (as useless as they were), or going elsewhere to look for his beloved trainer, his first priority was to close every door in sight, for literally no reason at all. After doing this for a short while, he finally made his way to the end of the hall, which ended his little door closing episode.

...That is until he spotted an elevator right next to the second to last door, which he then used to gain access to floor two, where even more dreaded open doors that begged to be closed by our hero awaited. Before he could start on them however, several brown shroomishes popped out from behind some of the doors, and began shuffling towards Pikachu's general direction as they prepared to try and give him the beating of his life. Pikachu was not impressed however, and simply jumped on top of their heads, which caused them all to fall off the tree to their supposed deaths in an orderly fashion. What a cheery fic this is.

After bobbing a few more shoomishes, using more elevators and continuing on his door closing escapade for several minutes, Pikachu finally found the last set of open doors. Before he could get his hands on any of them, though, a strange bipedal feline with a massive golden coin on his forehead blocked Pikachu's path.

... Oh, and Meowth was there too, I guess.

"Aha, so dere you are, ya twoip" exclaimed Meowth.

"Oh god, not you again..." groaned Pikachu, with his paw on his face.

"Aha, yup! And dis tyme, I'm gonna mess ya up fer good!" said Meowth, before getting into a battle pose.

"... Wait, with your bare hands? What about one of those machines you always use?" asked Pikachu.

"Well, dis fic won't lemmie use 'em for some stupid reason," said Meowth, while shrugging, "so yah, it's clawin' time, pipsqueak!"

"Huh, 'k then, well get ready for my surprisingly powerful bouncing attack that shouldn't belong to me!" said Pikachu, before getting into a similar pose to his rival.

The two eyed each other up as they prepared for a ferocious fight to the death, each one of them anxiously anticipating the moves that the other will bring out in combat, any of which could turn the tide of battle at a moment's notice. Both locked eyes against each other, almost daring the other to make the first move of the fight. Before tensions could rise any further, the two rivals suddenly lunged forward towards each other, preparing to start the fight of what could be the centur-

... Wait, no, Pikachu just jumped on him and knocked him off the tree. What a bloody waste of a build-up that was. =/

Meh, whatever. After wondering why he even bothered talking to Meowth in the first place, as well as how he actually managed to knock Meowth off the tree when they were surrounded by walls, Pikachu shrugged and then slipped behind the giant cat thing that I forgot about until now, and then started working on those doors again.

Just as he got his hands on the final door, a sudden horrifying realisation crept over him, chilling him to his very core. At first he just disregarded it as his imagination trying to bring his spirits down, but the more and more he focused on it, the more plausible the thoughts in his head looked, until his realisation became as clear as day...

"No... NO! NOOOOOO!" screamed Pikachu at the top of his lungs. "I FORGOT TO CLOSE A DOOR! FFFFFFFFF-"

Suddenly, he heard laughter coming up from behind him, and turned around to see what all the commotion was about. When he did, his eyesight immediately fell onto Meowth, who was standing next to the offending door.

Meowth leaned against the wall, and gave a nasty smirk. "Nyehehe, missing somethin', twoip?"

"So, YOU'RE the one who opened those doors!" exclaimed Pikachu. "... But I knocked you off the hotel, how's that possible!"

"With da power of stupid authors who can't write descriptive writing for their lives, anythin's possible!" Meowth replied with an evil smi- HEY! Screw you, my descriptive writing's awesome! B(

"You wish pal, ya putting me ta sleep with all this stupid text!"

"Actually, he's got a point, you know," Pikachu added, even though he should be bloody staying out of this.

"Geez, and the whole thing's as messy as Jessie's cooking ta boot. I couldn't tell anyone what was happenin' for da life of me!"

... Hehe, you're a funny cat Meowth. That's why I'm gonna kill you last! }=P

"Awww, buck up ya silly twoip! Besides, ya couldn't hurt me if ya tried!"

We'll see about that... *rubs hands together evilly*

Anyways, Pikachu and that freaking cat then got back on topic. "You close those doors again, right now!" shouted Pikachu, vainly hoping that Meowth would comply.

"... No t'anks. I think ah'll just wait here instead, twerpachu." Upon hearing these words, Pikachu's heart instantly sank, and for the first time in a very long while, he felt completely hopeless. Tears stung at his eyes as he wondered whether or not he should keep on going with his quest, not being able to handle the openness of that door.

Suddenly, before he could overreact even more, there was a loud slam, which caused Meowth to turn around to face whatever caused it. He then realised that the origin of the sound was Buneary, who finally managed get into the hotel. Also, to his horror, the door was shut tight behind her.

"Agh, no! Widdout dose doors, I'm powerless!" After saying this, he started to feel a big pain in his chest, which started increasing to the point where he had to clutch at it with his paw and drop to his knees. "W-what's happening to me!"

Hehe, remember, Meowth, when I promised to kill you last?

"Meowth, dat's right!"

*Puts on shades* I LIED.

Meowth then had a heart-attack and died.

... And for good measure, he exploded too.

After admiring her handiwork for a couple of seconds, Buneary then decided to make her way over to Pikachu, who was currently running towards her on all fours with a massive smile plastered on his face.

"Buneary! You've saved me!" Pikachu melodramatically shouted out, as if she actually did anything worth noting.

When he reached her, he then got onto his hind legs and stretched his arms outward, in an attempt to give her a massive thank-you hug, which is kinda like a thank-you kiss but not as saucy or interesting to write about, so meh.

Before he got the chance to do any such thing however, Buneary gave him a massive punch in the face with one of her ears.

"Gah! Ow, what was that for?" Pikachu asked, while painfully rubbing his face.

"That's for making me crawl ALL THE WAY TO THE HOSPITAL, YOU DONG!"

Pikachu stopped rubbing his face and then tilted his head quizzically at the rabbit before him. "... Huh?"

"Thanks to YOU jumping on me, I had to have twenty consecutive surgeries on my lower back in under half an hour, so that I could catch up with the story again! And all while wearing a stupid apron that says "Lagomorphshipping sux el oh el" on it!" Buneary roared.

"... Then why did you let me use you as a springboard then? That seemed pretty dumb if you ask me," Pikachu replied back.

"Wha- No I didn't! I bent over for... Something else actually," Buneary said, while blushing.

"Oh. Well what did you want then?"

"Well..."

BEFORE SHE COULD RESPOND!...However. A giant shadow formed beneath them, causing them to both look up at the sky to see what was causing it. (Also, now might be a good time to note that the hotel has no roof.) After their eyes adjusted to the brightness of the sun in the horizon, they both saw it. A massive multicoloured hot air balloon which was adorned with the pictures of smiling children's faces, was currently attempting to land in the small area that Pikachu and Buneary were occupying. Pikachu went wide eyed at the impressive spectacle that floated before him, while Buneary, for whatever reason, looked at the thing with a giant frown on her face.

"Oh Arceus, not him. ANYONE but him..." groaned Buneary, who now had her paw in her face in annoyance.

Then, before Pikachu could comment on her strange reaction to this balloon, the massive thing landed beside them, and before Pikachu could go and investigate it, a giant purple rabbit in dentist's clothing suddenly popped its head out of the balloon's basket.

"HELLO THERE! I am DOCTOR RABBIT! The world's ONLY rabbit dentist!"

Pikachu's face gave off a look that clearly said "WTF", while Buneary just gave a loud sigh, and crossed her arms, "Damnit Dr Rabbit, I told you to stop following me!"

"You know that guy?" asked Pikachu.

"Of course, we went to Rabbit University together."

"... You went to uni?"

"Yep, Lepusford University. It's where we enrol on rabbit courses to become proper lagomorphs for the future!" Buneary proudly replied.

"YES! EXACTLY! And I, DR RABBIT, dated Buneary AT LEAST TWICE A DAY!"

Pikachu quickly became horrified at what he heard from the dentist. "WHAT?"

After seeing his horrified face, Buneary quickly shook her head in denial. "No freaking way! We just went on ONE date to satisfy his stalky crusher needs, and he completely blew it!"

Pikachu breathed a large sigh of relief. "Ah, ok then. Well what happened?"

Buneary started, "Well..."

Buneary sighed annoyingly as she looked at the purple rabbit in front of her. He, as usual, was in his dentist clothes, despite the fact that he didn't have a single degree in oral hygiene (or anything for that matter), and she was clad in absolutely bollocks all, as usual.

"TAXI!" Dr Rabbit yelled, in an attempt to catch a waiter.

"Yes, what can I do for you?" answered one of the waiters, who appeared to be Segat from Street Fighter, in a tuxedo.

Buneary answered first. "I'll have lotsa spaghetti please!"

"Sure." Sagat turned towards Dr Rabbit. "And what about you my, what's the word? Customer... Yesssss!" asked the bizzare street fighting waiter.

"I'll eat umm, crackers and potato chips!"

"Ok then. Along with that, would you like to, maybe, have a snack? You like... some cornflakes? AHAHAHAHA!"

"Er, no thanks," Buneary replied, not really feeling compelled to talk to this strange waiter anymore. Plus, she fecking hates Kellogg's over-priced cereal anyway, so yeah.

After he finished writing down the orders, the eye-patch wearing Segat nodded, and then proceeded to Tiger Uppercut through the ceiling.

"So... what do you like doing on the weekend?" Buneary asked in an attempt to start a conversation, ignoring the massive hole in the ceiling.

"Well, I BRUSH in the morning, and I teach children all around the world, on how to properly take care of their teeth, and have BRIGHT healthy smiles! And then I, DR RABBIT, like to-"

At this point, Buneary just zoned out, and decided to ignore her date's boring lecture about his teeth filled life. To pass the time, she instead started to scan the rest of the restaurant around her.

While looking around, she noticed a waiter serving a table containing some green wearing dude, a boring blond girl, a bearded man with a giant goblet in his hand, which she assumed contained an alcoholic drink of some sort, and some dark wizard guy. Using her sensitive hearing, she picked up a conversation they were having amongst themselves.

"OH BOY! I'm so hungry, I could eat an octorok!" the green one started.

"MAH BOI! This DINNER is what all true warriors strive for!" replied the bearded guy while pointing at the ceiling with his hand.

"I just wonder why you keep saying that, even though no one finds it funny anymore!" Mr green clothes said while making bizarre facial expressions.

"OAH, you piece of shit!" the dinner king guy replied.

The green one, not wishing to talk to burger king anymore, then turned to face the girl. "How about a kiss, for luck?"

"You've GOT to be f*bleep*ing kidding," she replied, which caused the green dude to try and stifle laughter with his hand for some reason.

Across the table, the wizard dude took one look at his freshly served food, and flew into a rage. "You DARE bring light salad to my plate? You must make pie!", he then proceeded to zap his meal with hand lightning.

"Gee, you sure are bitchy!" said the supposedly suicidal elf man.

"OAH HO HO HO HO HO!" Laughed the King, holding Zelda by his side as she laughed too.

"Feed me Link, and I will make your face the grrreatest in Koridie! Or else you will DIE!" said the dark dude, before pulling the weirdest face known to man.

"Sure!" The elf, who was apparently called Link, then threw a loaf of bread at the pig faced magician.

"Not into the pita bread, it burns!" The magician yelled before being absorbed by the bread, oh god what the fu** am I writing? O.o

Anyways, Buneary then became bored with this table and turned around to face a different one. The next one she laid her eyes on seemed to have more of those strange street fighters, all of whom she recognised to an extent. She could make out , the dictator, Balrog, the dark-skinned Boxer (who still had his boxing gloves on), and Guile, the guy with the freaky hairstyle. Buneary listened in on them.

"Ahahahaha... HAHAHAHA! Oh ho ho ho ho, this is delicious!" Yelled Bison while eating his chocolate pudding.

"Guess you won't be needing those grapes I made for ya. You want me to get rid of 'em?" Asked Balrog.

Bison shook his head, "Don't be hasty..." He turned towards Guile, "Not until I see those sweet fajitas eaten right up, which should be any moment now...".

Bison watched him excitedly, seeing that Guile's meal was now in Guile's hands, they were headed straight for his mouth, going closer and closer until... "YES! YES!" Bison yelled out of happiness while bagpipes played out of nowhere, The fajitas had reached their target.

Buneary rolled her eyes at the overreaction and started to look at another table. Before she could however, Segat came back with the food, and launched it onto their table with his Tiger shot. He then turned around to face the door, "Mascot, get over here!"

Ryu suddenly walked into the area and stood at the side of the table. Segat started talking again, "Show the customers good service! Then they can rest, and maybe have a little snack." He turned his attention to the lagomorph pair once again, "You like, some cornfla-"

"You asked us already. We don't." Buneary chipped in, not wanting to encourage him to start sprouting street fighter quotes all night.

Segat chuckled to himself, "...MY how she UNDERESTIMATES cornflakes! Ahahahaha!" He then Tiger knee'd through the wall, obviously not caring for the damage costs of the building at this point.

Buneary gave a happy sigh, "Oh at long last, now we can eat! =3" She twirled the lotsa spaghetti around her fork, and started lifting it towards her open mouth. Her tastebuds longed to taste the sweet and savoury flavour that one could only expect from lotsa spaghetti, so she wasted no time in getting the pasta into the 'ready to be eaten' position. She could almost taste the amazing flavours as the lotsa spaghetti covered fork hovered near her mouth, ready to go in at her command. She-

"Oh nonononono! you should NEVER eat LOTSA SPAGHETTI! It may hurt your gums!" Dr Rabbit said suddenly.

"Huh? But I-" Before she could finish her argument, Dr Rabbit grabbed both the fork and the plate, and tossed them out of the window.

"...Lotsa spaghetti? T.T " Buneary squeaked out, ready to burst into tears from the loss of her favourite dish.

"OH NO! You should eat FLUORIDE TOOTHPASTE!" Yelled Dr Rabbit while giving her a tube of the stuff to chew on.

Buneary just sighed sadly and turned to waiter Ryu, who still stared at them, "...I'll just have water then please."

The martial artist wrote the order down, "Ok then, is there anything else you would like?"

"...Actually, can I add a lemon wedge to that order please?"

Ryu nodded, yelled, "SURE YOU CAN!", and then went through the ceiling with his trademark rising uppercut. Buneary, quite used to this behaviour by now, just sat back in her chair and waited for the drink to arrive.

After several minutes of waiting for Ryu to pour this exclusive drink for her, Buneary got bored, and decided to give the dentist one more chance to redeem himself before he found out what being dumped was like. "So, Dr Rabbit, what're you doing tonight?"

The purple rabbit took a moment to think, wondering how he could string his next words together. "Well, let's head home so I can SHAG you! And then I, DR RABBIT, will move MY fingers up and down the side of your ASS. And then you can come along with me, and then we'll have bright, healthy children!".

Not believing that he just said that, Buneary could only stare at him in utter disbelief, not being able to find words to say. After a while though, she managed to utter out just one word that could suit the entire situation, "...D="

Dr Rabbit tried to continue, but Buneary hopped over and decided to punch his face before he had a chance.

"Screw this, I'm leaving!" Buneary then used bounce to jump out of the same hole that Ryu made earlier. She showed no signs of coming back afterwards.

A few seconds later, Ryu returned with the water/lemon combo, and looked around for Buneary confusedly, "Huh, where'd she go?"

Dr Rabbit gave an exaggerated shrug, "I don't KNOW!".

Ryu also gave a shrug, albeit a much calmer one, "Huh, guess you're paying for all of this then. Here's the check!"

Dr Rabbit took one look at the slip of paper that Ryu gave him, and then his jaw immediately hit the floor. "...OH shit!"

[Insert break here, and in the case of the author derping and forgetting to remove the note, hi]

Pikachu was speechless. This guy didn't even seem like he'd talk to girls, let alone try to chat one up.

...Maybe a guy, but definitely not a girl.

"And that's why I only flirt with you now, seeing as you're as likely to talk like that as you are to stop going on about toast and instruction books." Finished Buneary.

Pikachu nodded, "Hm, fair enough. Well if you're like that..." Pikachu said, turning towards Dr Rabbit, "I think it's time for you to leave, before I make toast out of you!"

"But I, DR RABBIT, need Buneary to come along with me, on my bright smiles world tour!"

"Well tough, either leave or get shocked. It's as easy to understand as an instruction book."

Dr Rabbit shook his head sadly (while still smiling in a creepy way) "Then I, DR RABBIT, am going to abduct you!" After saying this, he quickly grabbed Buneary and then floated off into the sky, making sure to keep her from squirming away with his arm.

"Hey, lemmie go you creep!" Buneary yelled while struggling to escape.

"NO can DO!" Yelled the kidnapping dentist, who seemed to be way too knowledgeable about what he was doing right now.

Pikachu was horrified at having his love interest taken away, and started yelling at the balloon, "Hey, bring her back right now! Without her, I can't go to the second hotel!"

"OH NO! Now I, DR RABBIT, have a girlFRIEND!" Dr Rabbit then playfully grabbed Buneary's ass, and lifted her up high with one hand, as if presenting a prize. "Isn't it beautiful?"

Pikachu, although still afraid of what might happen to his beloved(?), couldn't help but laugh at the spectacle before him. "Haha, a girlfriend that fits in the palm of your hand, how convenient!"

Buneary was less than impressed, "F*bleep*K you Pikachu! Now get me down from here before I punch you so hard in the crotch that I'll have to become lesbian!"

Pikachu sniggered, "Heh, what do you mean "become" a lesbian? Seems a little late for that."

"GOTTA HEL-!"

"And now, let's head home so we can have a baby!" Dr Rabbit chimed suddenly, interrupting the lagomorph duo. Well, the first lagomorph duo that is, not this one with Dr Rabbit and... Bugger me silly this is confusing.

Buneary started panicking, if she didn't do something soon, she would be taken away for good! ...But she was too high up to really do anything productive, if she attacked Dr Rabbit now, she would surely fall off the balloon.

"Oh god, think Buneary, what did my professors teach me at university?" Buneary thought to herself desperately, trying to remember her past lessons in Lepusford.

"Now remember everyone, when in doubt, send your chao after it."

Buneary facepalmed in annoyance, "Dammit, I left my chao at home! oh well, never mind, I just gotta think harder..."

"Eat pellets to live longer! If you run out, just find some carrots to eat!"

Buneary shook her head, "Eww, there's no way that's gonna help me now! ...Maybe later though."

"I need to potty or else I'll be naughty! Somebody hold me tight, somebody hug me!"

"...Man, music class was weird." Buneary mused, "Ok, one more time, c'mon...!"

"Ok class, this is our most important lesson yet. If you ever find yourself in a dire situation, such as one where you're being followed by predators, or surrounded by laser gun holding space pirates or whatever, there is one thing you must always remember to do, and that is..."

Buneary snapped her fingers, despite not having them. "Of course! Pikachu!"

"Oh, what is it?" Pikachu replied, startled after not being ready to be addressed suddenly,

"Quickly, press Z or R twice!"

"Huh? Well ok then!" Pikachu then took out his Nintendo 64 controller and rapidly pressed the Z button two times in a row.

Buneary then quickly and rapidly span around in a cart wheeling motion while moving slowly towards Dr Rabbit's face.

Dr Rabbit pulled a bizarre facial expression that resembled one of panic, albeit a much happier looking one, "OH NO! You should never DO A BARREL ROLL! It may hurt my gums!"

Buneary's twirling body then came into contact with Dr Rabbit's teeth.

"DA DA DA DA DA!" Yelled Dr Rabbit before dying suddenly for some strange unrelated reason.

"Hooray!" Pikachu rejoiced, happy that his girlfriend(?) was now safe and sound.

"Yes, I knew that would work! Thanks teacher, I owe ya one." Buneary said quietly, thankful that being the only one to pay attention in class paid off.

She then magically teleported to Pikachu, seeing as I can't be arsed writing anymore descriptions for today.

"Pikachu, you saved me!"

"I guess that's worth a kiss, huh?" Pikachu leaned towards Buneary, hoping that he was right.

Buneary crossed her arms and looked the other way, "Huh! You could have gotten me out of there yourself!"

Pikachu mimicked her arm cross, "Oh, well exCUUUUUUUUSE me, Princess!"

"...Oh fine then." Said Buneary before leaning over and gave Pikachu a massive peck on the cheek, causing both Pikachu and every lagomorphshipper within a ten mile radius to nearly explode in joy.

"Hehe, thank you Buneary! I... Wait, what're you eating there?" Pikachu asked, noticing that Buneary had just pulled a cup of something out of her fur, and was now eating its contents.

Buneary stopped in her tracks, and looked at it for a second, as if trying to come up with something, "Err, cereal. Nesquik cereal."

"Oh sweet, can I have some?"

"...No."

"...Oh, never mind then." Pikachu replied, deciding not to pursue the subject further. "Well, time to head off to the next hotel!" Exclaimed Pikachu, jumping off the tree.

Buneary threw her cup of "cereal" away and turned towards the edge of the tree where Pikachu was a second ago. "Alrighty then, here I come!" She then launched herself of the tree in the most dramatic way possible, and fell in the same direction.

If she had waited a few seconds however, she would have seen a certain eye-patched street fighter rise up from the foliage of the tree. This man took one look at the cup, and then smiled, "Cornflakes? AHAHAHAHA!" The man then picked up a handful of the stuff and then shoved it into his mouth.

Afterwards, he immediately spat it out. "Urk, this tastes like my mother's poundcake!"

Ryu then burst through the leaves while performing his world-famous spinning kick, "I'D LIKE SOME POUNDCAKE!"

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Oh bloody hell, I wish I knew why that took me four months or whatever to write. XS

Ah well, next up is the toaster hotel! God, I can smell the toast already. XP

...Also, inb4 everyone asks me why Pikachu didn't just go and close the door himself, olo.