17

I took a deep breath. And another. And another. And another.

No matter what I tried I couldn't seem to calm myself. I was pacing around my room in my house, trying not to let my head explode.

My mother was around somewhere trying to handle everything for me, since I was freaking out. Haymitch was banned from all alcohol until after the ceremony was over. I invited Gale, just like I said I would, but he sent me a letter that told me that he didn't want to come. That was it. Five words. No hello or goodbye. It was cold, and it hurt me more than I thought it would. I didn't blame him though. I don't think I would ever want to go to his wedding either.

So basically, everything put together, I was freaking out. Every single time I calmed myself down enough to focus on something, I would start to stress out about something else.

I never thought I would be the kind of bride that would go crazy on her wedding day. Hell, I never thought I would be a bride at all, but apparently I was proving myself wrong about everything in my life these days.

I left my room knowing that the only thing that could calm me down would be Peeta. He would know the exact thing to say to make me feel perfect, but I knew I wouldn't be able to find him. He was with Haymitch planning something, that both of them were trying to keep secret. I couldn't get them to tell me no matter how many times I would ask them.

I hated surprises.

I was going to look for him anyways.

Unfortunately, I passed by a mirror in my house on my expedition to find Peeta. I had told my mother when she was getting me ready that I did not want to be able to see myself. I didn't care if I looked like the prettiest girl on Earth. I knew it was going to end badly if I did, and I was right. I dropped to the floor, curled up into fetal position, and started to hyperventilate.

What was I thinking! I couldn't get married. I just couldn't get married.

I was still lying there on the ground an hour later, when Haymitch entered my room. I hadn't even moved an inch. He gently pulled me up off the ground, saying "It's time to go, Sweetheart. This is nothing compared to everything else you did in your life."

I didn't say anything in reply or made any sign that I was going to start walking.

Haymitch frowned. "Peeta is waiting for you. You have put that boy through enough already. Leaving him on your guys' wedding day would be the last straw. I know you love him, so you own him at least this."

I gave Haymitch a confused look. "I wasn't going to leave him," I mumbled.

"Good. Then stop being such a drama queen and get your butt over to town hall. It's time for us to go."

I nodded and started to move towards the door of my house. We exited in silence and continued to walk. Neither of needed to say anything. Everything was already said.

I love Peeta. I love Peeta. I love Peeta, I silently chanted to myself. It was the only reason that I kept walking. If there was any chance I could get out of doing this, I would, but I loved him more than anything on this Earth. I could never do that to him.

It wasn't until the two of us were in front of town hall that I finally stopped and looked around. There was nobody outside, which was slightly unusual. Everybody must be glued to their televisions. The new mayor of District 12 insisted that we televise our wedding, making it possible for everybody all across Panem to see it. Since everything was still in a bit of turmoil, nobody was, so to speak, happy about the new way of governing, and everybody knew us, our story, or at least our names, he thought it would be a good way to bring entertainment to the country.

At first I was furious. I didn't want my life to be on camera anymore, but after being talked to by both Haymitch and Peeta, who both said it was probably a good idea, I reluctantly agreed. But, I complained about it every chance I got to.

Anyways, I walked into the building and tried to ignore the cameras as best as I could.

The first thing I saw made me gasp. In the room was everybody I had ever met. People from the Games, others I later met during the rebellion, some I just knew from District 12. Everybody I ever knew and loved was here, including Gale, who was smiling in the front row. I was touched that he came, and almost automatically happy to see him. Even though there were some hard times between the both of us, I knew it didn't matter anymore. I was now trying to live in the present, to understand that I can't change the past, and to wait for what the future brings me. Hopefully Gale would be in that future. I didn't realize how much I missed him until now.

The next thing I noticed was that there were paintings of every person I loved that had died hanging on the walls. There was Finnick, and Rue, and Prim. Prim. Tears welled up in my eyes. "I am so happy that you are here with me today," I whispered to her.

The last thing I noticed was Peeta. He was standing in the front of the room, beaming at me. It was almost as if just seeing me made him better, but that couldn't be right, could it? That's what he does to me. I am a better person when I am with him. But there he was with his goofy grin, standing in the front of the room.

"I hope you like it," Haymitch then whispered. "The two of us have been working on this for who knows how long. Peeta wanted today to be special."

So this was their big surprise. I felt my heart melt. I didn't deserve him.

All of a sudden I seemed to have a vision. I saw two kids running in a yard in front of my house. Both of them looked more like Peeta than me, but I knew they were ours. Haymitch was standing in the background, smiling at the scene. Both the beautiful, young children run up to Peeta and me and give us big hugs.

I then felt tears pour out of my eyes. I wanted that scene. I wanted it so badly, but I knew I wasn't ready for it. I wouldn't be ready to take care of those two little children in a very long time, but standing in town hall, doing what I was doing, made me realize I had nothing but time.

I could wait, and Peeta would wait with me. We would grow old together, have grandchildren maybe one day. I would tell my children about why their parents are famous. I would tell them why their father will never be completely healed, and neither will I. I will tell them about how there is good in the world and that there is also bad, but that is okay. I will wake up next to Peeta for the rest of my life, and never feel a single bit of sorrow over it.

I walked up to Peeta, Haymitch guiding the way. He gave me a awkward half-hug when I finally got there, and I smiled at him.

The ceremony was short and formal. Peeta and I signed all of the legal papers. There was a short, chaste kiss at the end. We went back to our house and had the toasting. It was simple but perfect. There was nothing more I could ever ask for.