Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of it's characters yadda, yadda, yadda. Title of story taken from Frank Zappa's record of the same name.

Warnings: Slash parings. (Kurt/Puck) Disturbing images. Angst. Slight AUs. I will add warnings to the beginning of chapters if there is anything new.

Full Summary: Takes place during a slight AU of Never Been Kissed. Puck makes Kurt his community service when he finds him shattered in the locker room. It's kind of hard though, considering Kurt hates his guts. But Kurt soon finds that he is not the only one with issues. And when he stops to think about it, who is Noah Puckerman really?

Author's Note: First Glee fic so I hope you enjoy it and please review! This story hasn't got a betta so tell me any major errors and I will do me best to fix them. Oh, and Please review! ***UPDATE*** Thanks to PurtFTW who noticed a spelling flaw, which is now fixed.

You are What you Is

Chapter 1: Courage/Kiss/Lost

"Hey!" Kurt Hummel yelled as he chased after Dave Karofsky. "I am talking to you!" He practically screamed as he burst into the locker room door. He was pissed, and hurt, and more than ready to finally start standing up for himself. He was sick of being bullied, sick of the shocked looks he got, while no one lifted a finger to help him.

"Girl's locker room is down the hall." Karofsky's voice was calm and steady.

Courage. Kurt reminded himself firmly. "What are you so afraid of?"

Karofsky turned to him. "Besides you sneaking in here to peak at my junk."

Kurt wasn't anywhere near ready to back down. "Oh yeah, every straight guys nightmare! That all us gays are secretly out to molest and convert you. Well guess what ham hock? You're not my type."

"That right?" Karofsky replied, and there was a strange edge to his voice, but Kurt didn't notice; he was nearly blind with rage.

Courage.

"Yeah." Kurt started before the other boy was hardly finished. "I don't dig on chubby boys who sweat too much and are going to be bald by the time their thirty."

"Do not push me Hummel!" And he clenched his hand into a fist, holding it up to Kurt's face.

Kurt glanced at the meaty hand, a disgusted look on his face. "You gonna hit me?"

"Don't push me!" He warned again.

Kurt was already talking over him. "You gonna hit me!" He repeated. "Do it. Cause it's not gonna change who I am. You can't punch the gay out of me anymore than I can punch the ignoramus out of you!"

Clearly enraged by Kurt's lack of fear, Karofsky's voice was nearly hysterical when he screamed, "GET OUTT MY FACE!" He brought his face close to Kurt's – too close.

Despite it, Kurt kept on yelling, kept on pushing him. Courage. "You are nothing but a scared little boy who can't handle how extraordinarily ordinary you are-"

Kurt's yelling voice was cut off by the force of the kiss. He stood paralyzed, all of his courage gone as Karofsky brought his hand up to his face. All he could do was wait for it to end- he saw the beads of sweat on Karofsky's forehead and how the larger boy had his eyes tightly shut as if in pain.

What seemed like much too long of a time passed and Karofsky pulled away. All Kurt could hear was the pounding of his own heart, all he could feel was the rush of blood through his body.

For a split second they stared at each other, than Karofsky let out a pathetic whimper and leaned his face down for another kiss. Kurt pushed against him with all his might, pushing himself away from him more than the other way around. For a moment Kurt thought the other boy would flee but that hope was shattered as the hockey player growled and shoved Kurt against the lockers.

Kurt gasped in pain as he hit the cold metal-he hated the familiar feeling of the handles bruising his back. Karofsky's mouth was on his again in a second, and Kurt pushed and thrashed against the other boy unsuccessfully. Dave pinned his hands to his sides easily. Any frantic kicks Kurt made toward the other boy's legs or groin either missed miserably or went entirely unnoticed.

Harsh lips attacked his jaw and teeth bit at his neck.

A horrible nauseous feeling rose into Kurt's stomach, because this wasn't right. He could smell Karofsky's BO and taste his bad breath. "You're disgusting." Kurt spat, because it was all he could do.

"That right?" Karofsky said in the same tone as before, except this time he had a slight smile on his face. He leaned in toward Kurt's mouth again, kissing him with mock tenderness.

Kurt bit down on the larger boy's lower lip as hard as he could. He almost gagged as he felt his teeth break the skin. Karofsky pulled away, releasing Kurt and cursing.

Kurt was too busy spitting out Karofsky's blood to see his fist.

"Fucking bitch!" Dave screamed as he made contact with the soprano's right eye. Before Kurt had any time to recover from the punch, he was being pulled from the lockers, and then shoved back into them, hard.

Kurt gasped for breath as the wind was knocked out of him. Karofsky fled the room as Kurt fell to the ground, trying desperately to remember how to find his lungs.

The locker room filled with a deafening silence as Kurt slowly regained his ability to breath.

With his breath came tears, of anger, shame and defeat.

Courage. He tried to remind himself, but it just made the tears fall faster. He felt as if there wasn't a single courageous bone left in his body. He doubted there ever would be again.

It was then that the locker room door began to open; a sight that Kurt would have been grateful for minutes before, but now it caused him a panic. He sat with his arms wrapped around his legs, not daring to move an inch. He was terrified it might be Karofsky coming back for more.

"Hummel?" The voice had the numb tone of shock in it.

"Noah." Kurt breathed a sigh of relief. He had never been so happy to see the Mohawked Neanderthal. "It's just you."

Puck took in the appearance of Kurt. His face was tear-stained and unusually pale, and his right eye looked like it was beginning to bruise. His clothes where uncharacteristically wrinkled and via the pushed up sleeves of the small boy's jacket, he could see hints of more fresh brusies on his wrists.

Puck approached him, setting on the bench directly in front of him. Kurt was staring blankly ahead, a gesture that Puck wasn't sure was conscious or not. "What the hell happened to you?" He breathed.

Somehow, that simple question is what caused the levee in Kurt's mind to break. What had it been exactly that happened to him? He wasn't sure. All he knew at this moment was that he desperately didn't want Noah Puckerman to see what was about to happen.

Kurt started to sob.

He sobbed silently into his knees for a full fifteen minutes; because he hated Dave Karofsky, and he hated himself for thinking confronting the boy would do any good at all. He mourned the loss of his first kiss-the loss of his courageous bones.

Puck sat still, not daring to move, or to say anything at all. He's not ashamed to admit that he thought about walking out of the room as soon as Kurt got that screwed up look on his face. He wasn't good at handling it when girls cry, and somehow it was worse seeing a boy cry. Seeing Kurt cry.

As his tears where slowing down the school bell rang and with the clear ringing sound, a bit of Kurt's head was cleared as well. He lifted said clearing head from his knees, and leaned it against his lockers, keeping his arms wrapped tightly around his legs.

Kurt was sucking down air in big lungfulls. He seemed to have himself under control now.

"I'm uh-" Puck stammered, and it was totally not badass. "I'm going to get Mr. Shue."

Kurt shook his head, scrambling to his feet. "No!" He took another deep breath to calm himself. "I'm fine, Puck." Kurt gracefully walked to the mirrors, seeing that he really did look quite awful. He pulled out a handkerchief and started to delicately wipe the tears and snot off his face.

Puck growled. "The hell you are-"

"Listen you pig," Kurt spat with a surprising amount of anger. "Though I'm sure your concern for me would be very much appreciated if it weren't so fantastically out of character, I'm going to have to ask you as kindly as I know how to leave me the fuck alone."

Puck's jaw dropped. "Look here fairy queen, I'm trying to be cool. You're the one who went and got all time-of-the-month on me."

"Real charming Puck. You must have fit right in at juvie with the rest of the dull-witted delinquents."

"You want to be a bitch? That's fine with me. Just don't expect anyone to give a damn the next time you cry on the locker room floor."

With that Puck left, the door swinging viciously behind him. Kurt stared at himself in the mirror, taking a few shaky breaths before raising the handkerchief to his face once more.