A/N: Part deux in the "abusing the names of horrible Miley Cyrus songs" fic collection. I have a terrible sense of humor okay. Just roll with it.

Characters/Pairing: Green/Red

Warnings: this is beginner's porn. aka failed smut. It's... s'posed to be funny.

Disclaimer: Pokemon is property of Nintendo.

Can't Be Tamed

Red was not a man of many words, no. Actually, he tended not to be a man any of words if possible, but sometimes, even he needed to use those pesky little things in order to communicate.

But only sometimes. When he kicked open Green's door and walked in looking rather murderous, Green realized that this, unfortunately, would not be one of those times.

"R-Red," Green said. "What are you doing here?"

Red surveyed how disorganized Green's apartment had gotten while packing, and while he was still distracted, Green brain's went into overdrive in attempt to figure out what he could've done to make Red so upset.

Red's eyes landed on him about five seconds later, looking slightly bemused.

"I'm going to be at a gym leader's conference this week. Didn't I -" Oh. Green was supposed to visit Red today, but he had been so busy packing that he forgot. Green cursed under his breath.

Red only seemed to be half-listening to Green's explanation, eyes trailing down the black suit Green was wearing, then back up, finally coming to rest on his dark green tie. Red's tongue flickered out and licked his bottom lip.

Green laughed nervously and pulled on his collar, the tie suddenly feeling a little too tight. He shifted uncomfortably, not quite used to his new suit yet. "I, um, I tried to tell you last week, but..." But it slipped his mind when Red had pounced on him and they had gotten "busy."

Before Green could finish explaining, Red closed the ten or so feet of distance between the two of them, feral glint in his eyes. Green took half a step backwards, accidentally stumbling over his suitcase, and landed on his bed. Green pathetically attempted to shuffle backwards a few inches, but Red had climbed onto the bed after him and proceeded to straddled Green.

"Um," Green said valiantly, before all the blood could rush to his head. His other head. "I'm really sorry. I promise I'll make it up to you when I get ba-"

Red grabbed Green's tie and jerked it towards him, shoving his tongue in Green's mouth.

Oh, Green's brain supplied helpfully.

"I can't - this conference - important. Train leaving - one hour. Can't be late -" he managed to gasp out a few minutes later, when Red finally decided to let him breathe.

Red paused as he was unbuttoning Green's suit jacket. "You talk too much," he hissed out, and then bit down on Green's bottom lip.

Which is right about when Green's brain exploded, and he realized he was not about to go anywhere anytime soon.

Since there was no point in protesting, Green began to tug off his tie while Red was fumbling with his zipper in an attempt to help, only to smacked away by Red's hand.

"Leave it on," Red demanded, which only made Green's brain shut down, and that was last thing either of them said for a while.

o

("My tie," Green whined later, when he finally had the chance to examine what his silk tie had become.

"I'll buy you a new one," Red promised.

"My suit," Green said even more woefully.

"That too," Red agreed.)

o

omake

The organizer for the gym leader conference tapped her foot impatiently, and then looked up worriedly at the clock. Her keynote speaker - former champion and current Viridian City gym leader, Green - was supposed to show up half an hour ago.

She jumped when her cellphone rang, startled, but was relieved when she saw the name on the caller ID.

"Mr. Oak," she said into the speaker, "where are you?"

There was a slight pause. "Um, some - thing came up," Green finally said, his voice slightly breathless.

She raised an eyebrow. "Are you okay, Mr. Oak?"

"Yeah, yeah, just. I'll be there tomorrow." She was about to protest when she heard some shuffling noise.

"...Mr. Oak?"

"Actually - sorry, I don't thinkI'llbeabletomakeitthistime," Green squeaked out the last half of his statement, and hung up with a click before she could say anything else.

fin.