In Which Myths Aren't Just Myths Anymore In Which Hera Doesn't Hate Men, a greek mythology fanfic

In Which Myths Aren't Just Myths Anymore

Disclaimer: I don't own the myths but I do own the stupidity

A.N. To everyone waiting for me to update my story, the Last Bite, I really will update it soon, after I'm done my final exams this week probably! Thanks for reviewing and here's the next chapter, just as odd as the first!

Hera: Marriage Counselor

Chapter Two: In Which Hera Definitely Does Not Harbor Resentment Towards Men(and she's sticking with that story)

The couple in front of her was currently in a vehement discussion about his cheating ways.

"I know where you go every Tuesday night!" the grieving wife, Maria, wailed. "I know that you're going to see her!"

"That's not true dammit!" the desperate husband, James, pleaded. "I'm hanging out with the boys—"

"No, no you're not! You always come home smelling of her perfume and you even had lipstick stains on your shirt once—"

"That was cranberry juice—"

"James," Hera interrupted as sweetly as she could, "Why don't you just admit that you're a man whore to your wife?"

James, the poor idiot, looked stricken. "Doctor—"

"How could you do this to me!" Maria wailed in agony, "After three years—"

"Listen to me James," Hera said, "Do you love your wife?"

"Of course I do!" James gasped, indignant. "She's everything to me!"

"Well if she really is everything to you, then why do you betray her?"

"I don't—"

"You do!" Hera insisted, and if her voice was taking on a sinister tone that, well, that was that. "You do and you dishonor your wife and the sacred vows you've committed by doing so!"

"Sacred vows!" Maria continued to wail. "Dishonor—!"

"Doctor Hera please, just listen to me—"

"No, never, I never listen to liars. You listen to me now. I've had enough of your philandering ways and Maria's crying, so you will end this affair. If you don't end this affair I will not only send someone to castrate you but I will have someone kill the woman you are sneaking around with. Do I make myself clear?"

"Are you…?" James was very pale all of a sudden. "Are you threatening me?"

Hera narrowed her eyes speculatively. "I don't know; did it work?"

"I…" James swallowed. "You can't do any of those things! It's illegal!"

"BREAKING MY HEART IS ILLEGAL!" Maria caterwauled passionately.

"It's not illegal if no one gets caught," Hera simply replied. "Besides, I think you'll like life without your testes; it's less…tempting that way."

James tried to laugh it off nervously, thinking she was joking, but Hera just stared coldly at him. She was an expert at emasculation after all.

"If I ever see you in here again all of what I have said will happen. Now please Maria, have a tissue."

Throwing one last dark look at the trembling James, Hera handed Maria a tissue and drew a noose around the neck of the man she had drawn on her legal pad.

All in a day's work, really.

"So…honey?"

"Yes Zeus, my love, my heart."

"….how did our new maid break her neck again?"

No one was actually hurt during this story...or Hera did a good job hiding the evidence! :)

Oh and the names of the couple are from Silent Hill 2, by the way. The more you know! 3