Alphonse, the Suit of Armor
(to Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer)

You know Edward and Mustang and Curtis and Hoho,
Father and Kimblee and Tucker and Marcoh
But do you recall
The most famous alchemist of all?

Alphonse, the suit of armor
Had a kinda sucky life
Cause if you're made of metal
You will never score a wife

All of the other soldiers
Didn't understand the guy
Alphonse just really wanted
To eat Winry's apple pie

Then one awful Promised Day
Father came to say,
"You suck, I'm awesome, please go die!"
Alphonse let himself get fried…

Then Brother came to save him
Soldiers shouted out with glee
Alphonse the human being,
You'll go down in history!