A/N: Here is the second songfic in my collection, revolving around 'Until My Last Breath' by Tarja from the album 'What Lies Beneath'.
=^-^= symbolises a change in point of view.
Disclaimer: I'm not a playwright, a properly published author or songwriter.
'Until My Last Breath' is written and performed by Tarja Turunen
"Why don't you ever listen to me?"
The one question that would result in a claw to the cheek. She used to never have to deal with this, this abuse.
It happened every time he decided to return back to the den, if he had decided to. Every night Bombalurina would sit there patiently for her lover to return home. It wasn't the same as when they are young though.
When he came home, he would just walk past her as if she was a mere piece of garbage. She knew better than to ask him if he was feeling okay. She knew better than to rest her paw on his shoulder. Though still the red queen did so.
"Get your aged paws off of me."
He would hiss back. The only words he would say, this was the reason why she did so. To hear his voice.
"What's wrong dear?"
Bombalurina would look up to him with concerning eyes, and then she knew what was to follow.
She tried not to blink so the tears wouldn't fall. She couldn't show any signs of weakness or he would leave again. Apparently she was a weedy, pathetic excuse for a Jellicle. She wiped the trickling blood from her left cheek, as if nothing had happened. She knew it was better if she tried to act strong.
"Tugger, please tell me."
She closed her eyes, bracing herself for the pain about to come but he did nothing. He just stood there still. The Maine Coon turned around to stare at the red queen.
"Leave. I do not want you here anymore."
Bombalurina was shocked. She had not expected this… this calm but harsh reaction.
"Excuse me? Did you just ask me to leave my own home?"
She had managed to gather up some courage to speak back. She wasn't sure if it was the calm response she had received, the unexpected request to leave or if it just was the fact that she was sick of it all.
"How dare you speak back!"
The Tugger's eyes were now filled with such scorn that a Pollicle would cover in fear but the queen stood there motionless. Not retreating at all. After the long silence between the two, Bombalurina took a few steps forward and began to whisper
How can I still justify,
When you deny my voice."
'How dare she question me! That pathetic queen's tricks were pointless; I don't even know why I stay with her.'He walked towards the defiant cat, pushing out his main in an attempt to intimidate her. He smirked that cocky smile of his after she stepped back. She was so feeble and old.
No wonder why I spend the nights with Etcetera.
He started to walk off towards the exit, knowing that she wouldn't dare to stop him now. As he reached the end of the walkway, a paw grazed across his cheek.
"I am not some kind of piece of junk you can kick around, Tugger!"
Bombalurina was now struggling to pull him away from the exit, there was no way she would be humiliated yet again.
"In this nothing I am not allowed
I just follow alone
Words as weapons without a sound
Echoes dying unborn"
"Well, then why don't you stop then? I won't have to hurt you… too much."
The Maine Coon was fighting back, his claws had dug into the queen's arm. Causing blood to stain her smooth, white fur.
"No Tugger, you bastard. I won't deal with your arrogance any more. You don't even notice I am here most the time."
She met the clawa to the arm with a slap and a kick where it really hurts a tom. She watched coldly as the tom dropped to the ground, moaning in pain.
"That's it. I am leaving… don't bother ever talking to me again."
The queen stood there silently for a few minutes before walking out, while muttering a few lyrics to a song. To her song.
"Until my last breath
You'll never know
Until you feel the silence
When I am gone
Now it's vanishing
Everything
What we might have been
Only now you praise
Call my name that you won't see again"
"I'm so sorry Bombalurina."
The Rum Tum Tugger could barely mutter these words; a false sorrow was in his voice. It was obvious that he didn't mean it, in fact it was just so she wouldn't leave. Hopefully.
At the mention of her name, instinctively she turned to him. As one does when their name is spoken.
"No Tugger. You aren't."
"You've tainted my mind with these haunting memories and there is no way I could ever forgive that."
Her words were dripping with the hatred of her former mate.
"At least let me hear you sing one last time."
He had managed to recover from the attack and he was standing still, to prevent a further attack. He knew if she sung, he could woo her once more. Just like he did years ago.
Bombalurina hesitated, why should she? What was he planning?
Muttering quietly to herself, she thought of what she could possibly sing that wouldn't make him think that she had forgiven him?
After a few minutes consideration, the red queen looked up from the ground, facing towards the Tugger and began to sing.
"Who can change this memory?
Inside it needs to burn
Worship by the enemy
The guilty take their turns"
He smiled to himself internally, his plan had worked. Now all he had to do was sing along with Bombalurina. She walked up to him and continued her song.
"Watching as it's disappearing
Shadows all that remain
Wishes slowly crossing over
In this parade of pain"
With the last sentence, she hacked her claws into his cheek again. Causing unwanted tears to fall down his face as she turned to walk away.
"Please Bomba, my dear."
The Rum Tum Tugger pleaded, surely she was bluffing. She couldn't be serious, all she wanted was some recognition.
"No Tugger."
She sighed as the heavy chains were freed from her heart. She was free now, free to do whatever she wanted without him stopping her. Holding her back.
"You won't see me. Until my last breath."
Surely her words were true. He didn't see her until Alonzo had brought her back from outside the junkyard, barely holding onto life. She had lived her life the best she could, everyone had gasped in horror at the sight of the seriously injured queen. Blood had soaked into Alonzo's coat and the Rum Tum Tugger watched as her breathing became more forced. Etcetera had hung onto his arm, burying her face into his mane.
She had stayed true to her word, but it had come at a price. Her faith had cost her sanity and loneliness. All would remember her as Bombalurina, the queen who broke through the chains surrounding her heart. Alonzo rested her onto the tyre in the junkyard…
Where she breathed her last breath.