A brief note: The following story expresses pro-life values, something which I as a conservative American believe in. I realize full well that there are a range of opinions on this delicate subject, and acknowledge that roughly half of Americans hold views which are in opposition to my own. I write this story as a conveyance of opinion and to perhaps illustrate things in a different light. I encourage those who disagree to respect my opinion for what it is; in a civil society, we can disagree without being disagreeable.
Mere minutes before the alarm clock was set to wake him and the others, Skipper woke with a start.
"What is it, Skipper?" Private, awakened by his leader's sudden and abrupt motion, asked with concern. "Is everything OK?"
"Do you ever get the feeling in your gut that there's an injustice about to occur in the not-too-distant future?" Skipper responded. "Well, I've just had that feeling."
"It's probably just gas, sir," Kowalski suggested.
"No, Kowalski, I'm serious here," Skipper continued. "There's this sickening—" But before he could complete the description of his feelings, the HQ telephone rang. "It's way too early to be taking phone calls," Skipper said as he pointed in the direction of the telephone. "Kowalski, you go handle it."
With that, Kowalski stretched his flippers and waddled over to the telephone, picking it up on the fifth ring. Meanwhile, Skipper, Rico, and Private made their way over to the table to get ready for their breakfast: cold, tasty catfish left over from the night before.
After getting it out of the refrigerator, Skipper noticed Kowalski, still on the phone, gesturing for him to come over, so Skipper set the plate of fish down and approached his first lieutenant.
"Skipper, your gut was right again," Kowalski said as he held out the phone receiver. "Here, you better take this."
With Kowalski still standing next to him, Skipper took the phone into his flipper and placed it to his earhole. "This is Skipper," he spoke. "Who are you, and what's your trouble?"
"My name is Louise, and the trouble is my sister," said the voice on the other end of the line. "You see, we are penguins over at the Bronx Zoo, and she just laid an egg last night."
"Well, give her my congratulations," Skipper responded. "Anyway, what is the problem?"
"That is the problem, sir," Louise replied. "She wants to crush it."
"I'm sorry, I don't think I caught that," Skipper apologized. "It sounded like you said she wanted to crush her egg."
"That's exactly what I said, Skipper," Louise confirmed. "She doesn't want the chick."
Skipper paused for a moment as his heart sank. He looked to Kowalski for some type of reassurance, but Kowalski looked just as sickeningly worried as he felt. After a few seconds, Skipper spoke into the phone again. "Of all the things wrong with this world, abortion is one of the worst. It's the work of the devil."
"I know," Louise replied. "That's why I'm reaching out to you. My sister won't listen to me and I'm too weak to fight her, but your team is a legend in this city. The four of you are the only hope left for my unhatched niece or nephew. Please help, I beg of you."
"Ma'am, I promise you we will," Skipper replied. "We'll be there in half an hour."
"Thank you, sir," Louise replied. "And God bless you."
"You, too, ma'am," Skipper said as he hung up the phone. "Goodbye."
Skipper then looked to Kowalski. "Kowalski, I'm giving you permission to slap me to wake me up from this bad dream," he said.
"If only it were but a simple nightmare, sir," Kowalski replied. Kowalski then looked over at Private sitting at the table, oblivious to the nature of what his next mission would be. "Poor Private, this one is sure to break his heart," he said with a sigh.
"It breaks my heart, Kowalski," Skipper replied. "I can't think of anything more un-penguin."