If You Would (Only Listen)

"You're familiar with a little glee clubber named Rachel Berry?"

They both nodded slowly, glancing at each other from the corners of their eyes. They had a bad feeling already about where this was heading.

"Rachel's the kind of girl that wants things too badly. And what she wants, is one Finn Hudson. I want you to go after her; plant the seeds of paranoia and let them take root until their relationship becomes so toxic that it splits the club down the middle. Ruining the sickening bond that just barely keeps that club afloat it my ocean. In short; I want you two to sink that ship." She tossed her weights at them that both fumbled slightly to catch. "Think you can do that?"

Santana smirked. Brittany twined her pinky with hers.

"Good. Now get the hell out of my office."

{&}

She knows that he's having a hard time getting used to a new relationship fresh off of the drama with Quinn and Puck and losing a baby that was never his. She gets it, and she doesn't want to push him away by trying to force him to adapt to her.

She doesn't want to, but she can't help herself. The more he draws away and asks for space to "think", the more she worries that he'll never let her get as close as she wants to. Rachel wants him to trust her, so much, and it's making her extra clingy and high strung.

So, maybe the cat calendars are a little weird, but can she be blamed for actually wanting him to show up for dates? At the time, the cats seemed like a cute way to disguise her distress and not come off as too desperate.

She should have known better. The "Team Finn" shirt had seemed like a cute idea at the time too.

When he doesn't show up early to school to practice the new duet she'd found in the hopes to tear down the wall between them (music is obviously the only solution), she finds herself sitting in the choir room at the piano. Crying. It's okay, though, she's always been a quiet crier - it just means she'll sing out louder in glee later.

This is what Brittany and Santana find after eavesdropping on Finn and Rachel's conversation yesterday. The original plan being to pop in and flirt with Finn, but, honestly, this is a much better situation to work their magic with.

Rachel seems oblivious to their presence until Brittany plops down next to her on the bench and Santana leans over her shoulder to examine the sheet music.

"'Don't Go Breaking My Heart'? Obvious much?"

Rachel breathed in a shuddering breath and snapped, "What would you know, Santana?"

It's Brittany who answers. "A lot. Santana has, like, twice the knowing that I do." She settled a hand on Rachel's knee as she continued, "But I'm catching up."

Rachel stares at her in bewilderment until Santana flippantly clarified, "We fuck like rabbits."

"I love bunnies. Especially when we play tricks."

"I don't need to know the details; this is highly inappropriate." Rachel went to stand, but found herself shoved right back onto the bench with Santana's hands on her shoulders. She became highly aware of Brittany's hand having moved to her thigh and Santana's breath in her ear.

"Stay fucking put and we'll tell you the fun way to lose your mind instead of all that pathetic panting you've been doing after Hudson."

"Fun way?" She squeaked, unsure of their motives and somewhat alarmed.

"The best way." Brittany squeezed her thigh at Santana's reply.

Rachel was frozen. Her tongue felt heavy and dry in her mouth. Santana's tongue, however, was in perfect working order.

"We're going to Breadstix tonight. You show at 6, and we promise you that Finn won't be able to stop thinking about you in less than two days. Make him regret he never showed today."

Brittany smiled. "You wouldn't stand us up, Ray. You're better than that."

Santana beamed at her girl over Rachel's shoulder. And people called Brittany dumb; bitch played people better than she did.

Rachel swallowed, for once not thinking about Finn as she answered, "No, I... I'll come."

Yeah, you will. Santana thought. Satisfied, she and Brittany left a dazed Rachel behind.

Maybe this isn't what coach meant when she said to go after Berry, but it certainly was the best way.

{&}

Rachel gets there fifteen minutes early, and spends the wait for the two girls fidgeting and regretting her promise to be here. She's way out of her depth here - these are two girls that spent a year making sure she was miserable, well, maybe Brittany more just tagged along and threw in the odd nonsensical comment every now and then, but certainly Santana had been an active participant.

She couldn't do this. It was some kind of trap. There was no reason that she could think of that these two would suddenly go out of their way to be nice to her… in a rather intimate way at that. An overall intimidating way. She needed to leave.

As she stood to do so, Santana and Brittany breezed in the door. Brittany offering her quirky little smile, like she never had a doubt that Rachel would be here. Santana just raising an eyebrow and curtly telling the hostess that they needed a table for three. Rachel didn't really understand the look of dread and resignation at the request, but figured that Santana just gave off evil in waves and people instinctively knew to cower.

She perhaps was being a touch dramatic about all this.

Instead of sitting across from her in the booth like she'd expected, the two girls instead sandwiched her, acting as though this was a perfectly conventional thing to do when dining out.

For some reason when the waitress approached to take their drink order, she glanced under the table. Santana had scoffed, "No wheelbarrow this time. Breaking in the new girl." The woman had simply nodded and walked off to get their drinks.

Rachel cleared her throat. "So, you two wanted to offer me advice with my astray paramour?"

Brittany frowned, "A dog took your umbrella?"

"She means her asshole boyfriend, Brit. Not a parasol. Paramour is Rachel Berry speak for lover, fucking hilarious because it usually means someone's cheating on some fool to be that lover. Who's cheating who, Berry?"

Rachel blushed, unused to having her vocabulary used against her - especially not by Santana had regularly mutilated the English language with her slang.

"Oh, I get it! Finn is the dog that's taking her love away. Why didn't you just say so?"

"That's not-"

"Damn, stop getting your bitch face on and just chill. Brittany was just joking."

Brittany followed Santana's lead and just shrugged. She knew when her girl needed her to keep quiet. Or lie. Which was often.

Rachel relaxed only slightly, taking a moment to study the menu as an excuse to not engage the two girls further. Sadly, she wasn't able to hide behind it after they'd had their orders taken.

"You can laugh if you want to." Brittany chirped. Rachel had stared. "I mean, at the joke. You can laugh. I like your laugh, it's like when you sing."

"My laugh has perfect pitch?"

"Why are you talking about baseball? The only game you play is hide and seek. Like, you laugh and sing and I can see you. But then you talk and smile too big and you're hiding again." She shook her head. "Baseball is a whole different thing; that's what Santana and I like to play."

Honestly, at that point Rachel had to laugh. This must be how Brittany felt trying to understand what she was saying. She bit her bottom lip, trying to contain her giggles before Santana tugged it, murmuring, "Just go with it."

Brittany smiled softly. "Yeah, I found you now."

"Wanna play our game, Ray? Brits and I could show you after dinner."

Rachel couldn't help but agree to that - it was becoming surprisingly easy to be around them. She'd longed for this feeling, and she just didn't want the evening to end when she wasn't so hopelessly lonely.

So caught up in them she forgot about Finn. Didn't even ask what game Finn was playing.

If Brittany and Santana had their way, it would soon be Solitaire.

{&}

Santana pays the bill. The waitress looks wide-eyed and mutters, "You really are trying to impress this one."

Santana warns her not to get used to it.

Rachel doesn't even want to know.

{&}

They go to Santana's house. Her father is there but so caught up in paperwork that he just absently tells her that leftovers are in the fridge, not even noticing the doggy bags in their hands, or, in fact, the two girls with his daughter. "He's a hot shit doctor." Santana explains as they set their leftovers in the fridge. "Can't get his head out of his or his bosses' asses. Whatevs. Means I don't have him harassing me."

Rachel finds this sad, considering her own fathers' total engrossment in her life. She'd never thought once that they were harassing her… she'd felt loved. She opens her mouth to say something but Brittany simply presses a finger to her lips behind Santana's back.

Brittany, she realizes, knows a lot more than she gives her credit for.

In Santana's room, they lay on the queen mattress and tell her stories, how they met and why they joined the Cheerios. Santana says it's because they're both fucking hot. Brittany says it's because they wanted to be that. Rachel listens and thinks that this is what friends do. Brittany is pressed up against her and Santana has a hand under her shirt on her stomach. Maybe she'd be uncomfortable with any other people, but she's seen how touchy-feely the two Cheerios are. Obviously this level of intimacy is normal for them in friendships.

(Her reasoning in that she'd never seen them like this with Quinn is because Quinn is decidedly not a touchy-feely person. Rachel doesn't understand why; it's nice.)

There's a moment of silence before Brittany asks her if she wants to play baseball.

"Isn't it kind of late for that?"

Santana laughs, "That's the best time to play it."

Rachel thinks she's missing the joke again.

"May I ask exactly what version of baseball are we talking about?"

"Major league, Ray."

"You just go for the bases." Brittany says and has somehow pressed closer. Santana's hand appears to be higher on her stomach.

"We'll take it easy on you, since it's your first time and shit. First base only until you're ready for second."

Everything clicks abruptly in Rachel's head and she can't fathom how she could be so stupid.

What other games would they be playing? How naïve was she?

"You tricked me!" She sits up, they let her. "Who put you up to this? Or was this all your own sick idea? This isn't a game - I'm trying to be in a relationship with Finn. How could I do that knowing that I cheated on him?" She's off the bed completely now, and pacing.

"I don't understand." Brittany sounds meek. "You want us. Why are you gonna keep trying on him when you could get us for just being you?"

"Because I don't know where this change of heart is suddenly coming from! How can I trust you after one evening which you led me to believe would be about assisting me with Finn? You both deceived me!"

"We fucking found you, so we decided to fucking keep you. We might play a little dirty, but that doesn't make everything a game. Besides, we told you the truth from the start, you just weren't listening."

Brittany sighs. "She never listens."

Staring at them both, she remembered everything they'd said, and, no, she really hadn't understood anything up until this point.

"I think… I think maybe you should explain this to me. With your clothes on."

"Your loss."

{&}

Santana and Brittany end up in Sue's office a week later.

"Ladies, I misjudged you. You may be some of the most sexually deviant and useless teens I've ever encountered. In what way did seducing Rachel Berry instead of crushing her do to further my agenda to destroy Will Schuester's soul and everything he holds dear?"

Santana looks to the side and smiles as Brittany offers, "Rachel's on our side now, Ms. Sylvester. She wouldn't let us down."

Sue ponders this, eyes narrowed. "I suppose your failure to follow orders hasn't led to total disaster. Yes, having Rachel Berry under my thumb could be just what I need."

Santana shrugged noncommittally. Sue dismissed them in disgust.

Later, at Rachel's house, she asks them how it went.

Brittany nuzzles into her neck. "Coach never learned to listen."

Rachel laughs. Just because she can.

Santana takes that as an invitation and slips her hand into her skirt. She's never been the kind of girl to waste the moment, after all. Or any opportunity that gave her the chance to get what's hers.

Author's Note: Borrowed some lines and references from Hell-O and Duets. Obviously most were twisted for my own purposes. I tried to make Brittany both incomprehensible and insightful. Prompt from glee_ot3_meme, which will probably take my attention away from puckrachel for a while, "In Hell-o Brittana ask out to dinner Rachel, instead of Finn, and it goes very well." Yes, that was my idea of it going well. No one died.

Title taken from Jack Johnson's "Bubbly Toes".