Spoilers: Up to 2011, Season 8, 8x14 - A Man Walks into a Bar

This chapter is an episode tag for: 8x07, Broken Arrow

August, 2016 Note: I don't like leaving work unfinished…so I just completed this story by adding a few things and concluding it. There's an additional note at end, too. Thanks for reading my story!

Final chapter…

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Chapter 10 - Illusion

Arlington, Virginia, 2010

Magnum: Every day in the tropics is part illusion; Rain clouds are actually rainbows ... the perfect wave breaks into a riptide ... conviction of immortality grows out of the endless summer. What I should have remembered is that illusion is always dangerous. But, on a perfect morning on the beach, who could remember fate?

From the bedroom Gibbs listened for, and heard, the front door being slammed - hard - and then Tony's weary footsteps as he climbed the stairs. Gibbs, sitting in bed with his back against the headboard, book in hand, peered over his reading glasses to watch Tony stagger across the room in an exaggerated manner and then collapse on his side of their bed, face down.

Tony's groan was muffled by the bedding. "God give me strength."

With a sigh Gibbs put his book and eyeglasses aside and laid a hand on his lover's head. He ruffled Tony's short hair and smiled warmly at the back of his head. "Bad day at the office, honey?"

Tony turned his face to look scathingly at the older man. "The past three days have been bad. How would you like it if your father was used as a front man to get in the door? How about if he upstages you by taking down the bad guy before you get the chance to rescue him?" Tony reached out and laid a heavy hand on Gibbs' thigh, and closed his eyes with a small moan. "All the way to the airport he kept harassing me to give him a pair of handcuffs. He says he wants to learn hand-to-hand combat. I mean, it's like he gets his rocks off on the danger or something."

Gibbs said unsympathetically, "Running towards the fire seems to run in your family, DiNozzo."

Tony opened his eyes to frown at Gibbs. "Hey! The difference is that I'm a trained agent and he's not. And what about the women? He's, what, pushing eighty? And there he was, scoring with every female in sight!"

Gibbs raised an eyebrow. "Hmm."

Tony propped up his head on one hand and demanded, "What the hell does that mean?"

"Sounds like you have something to look forward to when you're his age, Tony," Gibbs said in an offhand manner.

After a short pause, Tony said, "It's embarrassing, Gibbs. My father did the horizontal mambo with Hilda the hotel masseuse, as well as that prissy blond night concierge who cannot be more than twenty-one and, even if she's denying it, I know he screwed Ziva. There may have been more going on but I am not asking."

"He screwed them all at the same time? Or isn't he telling?"

Tony rolled onto his back and pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. "God, get the pictures outta my brain!" Then, with a deep sigh, he hauled himself off the bed and started to remove his suit, talking to Gibbs as he hung it in the closet. "Dad was asking me about how he could join NCIS, for Chrissake." Tony removed his shirt and socks and tossed them in the hamper, then stood in the doorway of the bathroom clad only in his boxer shorts, hands on his hips. "How would he like it if I strolled into his office, or the office he used to have before he went bankrupt, and ogled the secretaries, used his computer without his permission, and made out with his former business partner who, despite being sixty, was a really good-looking guy along the lines of Harrison Ford, right down to that crooked smile. And you cannot tell me that Jack Brewster doesn't swing both ways, and that Dad doesn't know about it." He took a deep breath and pulled at his hair, saying, "Hell, now I'm talking like Abby!" Tony pivoted and went back into the bathroom, muttering to himself.

"Thinking of trading places with your old man, Tony?" Gibbs, who knew what Harrison Ford looked like, did not like the idea that Tony was looking his father's former business partner in that way. He wondered, with some discomfort, if DiNozzo Sr. was a switch-hitter and had passed bisexual traits down to his son. Gibbs would never ask Tony about his suspicion.

"Trade places with him? God no! I like my monogamous life too much, thank you very much." Tony somehow managed to talk while brushing his teeth. "You shoulda seen him at the airport, Jethro, telling Trump about how he wrestled Mayfield to the ground." There was the sound of running water and then Tony stuck his head out with a worried expression and said hesitantly, "I wasn't using monogamous to mean boring, Jethro, because I love everything about our life together, and I love you, and…You know what I meant, right?"

Gibbs raised a hand to stop Tony from continuing in the same vein. "I know, Tony." It looked like he was going to have a difficult time calming his partner down. They'd be lucky to get any sleep that night.

Tony nodded and went back into the bathroom, starting up about his father once more, raising his voice so Gibbs could hear him. Gibbs listened patiently while Tony complained, responding with an occasional grunt to prove he wasn't asleep. The toilet flushed and then finally Tony joined him in bed. Without saying anything, Gibbs watched Tony settle into bed and pull the covers up to cover his naked chest. Eventually the younger man's soliloquy spluttered and came to an end.

Tony caught Gibbs eyeing him with a bemused look on his face. He asked abruptly, "What?"

"Nothing. Just waiting."

"Sorry, but I'm still a little steamed, okay?"

"All done now?"

Tony said, somewhat belligerently, "For the moment. Why?"

Gibbs turned off the light and then rolled towards Tony, draping his leg and arm across his lover's body to hold him close. "Because I've wanted to do this to you ever since you walked in, you idiot." Gibbs kissed his lover softly and reassuringly at first, but the moment that Tony uttered a surprised, "Oh," Gibbs intensified the kiss. Tony closed his eyes halfway and opened his mouth to accept Gibbs' plundering tongue but he didn't return the kiss with his usual fervor. When Gibbs withdrew a little it was to check out Tony, whose entire body was radiating tension. "Why are you still so wound up?"

"I've been a little crazy the last couple of days. It's hard to relax." Tony looked away, a flush rising to his cheeks. "Okay, I've been more than a little crazy." He shifted in discomfort from the way he was being studied, but Gibbs had him pinned in place by the weight of his body. Feeling unaccountably ready to jump out of his skin, Tony said worriedly, "I don't know what's wrong with me…I'm sorry."

"Hey, there's nothing to be sorry about. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. Neither are you." Gibbs caressed the side of Tony's face and ran his thumb across his cheekbone, wishing he could smooth the tense lines away from around Tony's eyes. He said gently yet firmly, "You need to come down a little, Tony." Tony swallowed and looked at him questioningly, so Gibbs spelled it out. "I know you've had a couple of tough days but-" Tony opened his mouth to interrupt but Gibbs forestalled him with a kiss. Once more Gibbs pulled back. He said, "You need to slow down. Just relax and let it all go away." He didn't take his eyes off Tony's face, and the instant Tony wriggled and began to talk, Gibbs settled another kiss on his mouth.

With his lips pressed against Gibbs', Tony mumbled, "Don' think I can…"

Gibbs ran his hand through Tony's hair and gently clasped the back of his neck. "Yes you can. I'm going to help you. You trust me?" He adjusted his position so he was straddled atop the younger man.

Tony inhaled raggedly and gave a small nod. "Of course…yes…"

With most of his weight resting on Tony, their bodies meeting from thigh to chest, Gibbs could feel the man lying under him quiver as he resisted submission. "Just let it go. I'm here to catch you."

"Gibbs…please," Tony begged. He raised his hands to push at Gibbs' chest, but there was no power behind his action.

"Let it all go, Tony." Gibbs kissed him again, slowly, his tongue working its way slowly across Tony's lower lip and then pressuring him for entry. Tony returned the kiss with more passion and after a little while Gibbs withdrew just enough to assure him, "He's gone and it's over."

"It's never over," Tony moaned on a sigh. Gibbs' mouth slid away from his lips to explore the soft flesh underneath his jaw, sucking lightly, and Tony raised his chin to give him better access.

Gibbs returned his attention to Tony's mouth again, and taking his lower lip between his teeth he tugged at it a little as a means of distraction. "Push all the bad stuff out and close the door on it," Gibbs urged, his tone soft and encouraging. "You can do it. We've practiced this before, right?"

Tony gazed up at Gibbs, blinking as he struggled to comply. His lower lip was pink and trembling slightly, his eyes unsure. "Okay, I'm closing the door."

"Lock it, bar the door and come towards me." Gibbs shifted his weight and braced himself over Tony, trapping him between his strong arms. He watched Tony's expression carefully, hoping the therapist's advice would work. Every doubt and fear seemed to emanate from Tony's eyes, and then there was comprehension and resolve. Even though they'd tried the technique a couple of times, Tony had never been so wound up before. "You can do it."

Tony closed his eyes for a couple of minutes and then he reopened them and offered Gibbs a small smile. "Okay, it's done," he whispered. "I'm here. Kiss me again?" His arms wrapped around Gibbs and drew him down for a kiss, angling his head and sucking at his tongue insistently. He reached between their bodies and rapidly rubbed his palm back and forth across Gibbs' genitals, jerking his hips and panting with the effort.

"Whoa there. Shhh, take it easy. There's plenty of time." Gibbs held Tony's hands until he desisted, then moved his hips in a slow circle, feeling the heat of Tony's hardening cock through the thin layers of clothing that separated them. He fumbled to slide Tony's boxers down his legs, and then pushed his own underwear away just as Tony clutched at Gibbs' undershirt and pulled it up. There was a tangle of hands and knees and clothing, and finally they were both naked and laughing, but best of all, Tony no longer had that hint of strain about his eyes that he'd had for the entire time his father had been in town.

"You'd think we'd be more elegant at stripping, with all the practice we've had," Tony said breathlessly.

"Guess we need to practice some more then." They moved so they faced each other, only inches apart. Gibbs ran his hand across the younger man's chest, gently squeezing his pectoral muscles, fingering the rosy-brown nipples. Tony let out a small gasp; his nipples were very sensitive and hardened into little nubs at the slightest suggestion of a touch. "You're so beautiful, my handsome boy," Gibbs said in a deep, seductive voice. Every stroke across the lightly tanned skin was meant to soothe rather than arouse. Gibbs followed each caress of his hands with a tender kiss. Slowly Tony relaxed under the gentle and erotic touches.

Gibbs smoothed Tony's dark chest hair then scraped his nails across the underlying skin the opposite direction. Tony had a lot more chest hair when he first knew him, Gibbs recalled. "I remember that summer when you worked with me on my boat, how innocent you were, how jealous I was when you talked to girls down at the marina. How you never wore a shirt and your back was so brown, your skin so silky. Your jeans were hanging so low off your hips I could see the white of your underwear. Made my mouth water."

"I knew you were watching," said Tony with a teasing smile.

Gibbs ducked his head and admitted, "I kept finding jobs for you to do so you'd have to bend over."

That made Tony laugh. "And there I was wondering what I could do to make you want me. Neither of us was so innocent."

"I wanted to touch you so bad…Half the time I couldn't face you, couldn't let you see how just being near you, smelling you, turned me on. God, it was hard. I couldn't…" He swallowed. "For months after you left, every time I smelled sawdust I had a hard-on."

Tony grinned in self-satisfaction at Gibbs' admission. "Is that why you like to work with wood, Jethro?" Gibbs smiled wickedly in reply and sucked on one of Tony's nipples, rolling the other one between his finger and thumb, eliciting little cries of excitement. "Want more," Tony panted. "Touch me here…" Tony tried to push Gibbs' hand lower, impatient and needy, but when Gibbs made no move to touch his genitals, Tony fisted his own cock.

Gibbs wrapped his fingers around Tony's wrist and forced his hand to his side. When Tony resisted with a protesting whine, Gibbs squeezed his wrist and ordered in a low voice, "Do not touch yourself." He only released him when Tony gave in. Trailing his fingers across the younger man's inner thigh, Gibbs smiled at the wanton way Tony moaned and rolled onto his back, raising one leg in encouragement. "Greedy," Gibbs said lovingly. He wouldn't have it any other way. He fondled Tony's heavy balls and watched him squirm, smiling at the way his eyes closed in response to the torment, the way his mouth released those little sounds that were not quite whimpers, not yet moans. This is how he loved to see his younger lover, rubbing his hips back and forth on the sheets in an agony of unfulfilled desire, skin flushed and glistening with sweat, his cock dark and veined with droplets of pre-come beading on the tip. It dripped onto Gibbs' leg and a jolt of arousal at the sight and smell caused his cock to harden and thicken, to push at Tony's thigh as if it had a mind of its own.

Still, Gibbs resisted touching Tony's hard and leaking cock. Instead he ran his hands across the younger man's muscled rear and up his back, exerting pressure across his ribs and chest, thumbs sliding across his nipples. Gibbs' work-roughened hands glided down Tony's arms to bring the tips of his long, tapered fingers to his mouth to lick and suck. He made love to Tony with alternately hard and whisper-soft caresses of hands and lips accompanied by suckling and mouthing his warm, inviting skin. God, just the taste of Tony's skin was enough to get a rise out of him. Gibbs slid down in the bed and languorously licked along the tender flesh of Tony's belly to the juncture of his hip and leg, and down to nuzzle at the heated, musky skin of his inner thigh.

Heeding Gibbs' order not to touch himself, Tony reached instead for Gibbs, pulling his hair, grasping at his arms and shoulders, moaning and encouraging him to touch him there, down there, until finally he was rewarded with a fist wrapping around his velvety shaft and Gibbs' tongue sliding across the head and delving into his slit. Tony's hips jerked in response, bucking with desire, a litany of pleas falling from his lips. "Oh God, oh God, oh God…"

Then Gibbs was lying face-to-face with him once again, his eyes dark and intense. They kissed, exploring and fulfilling their mutual need, wonderful and wet with tongues and teeth and lips engaging in expert play. Suddenly Gibbs' fingers were inside of Tony, two to start with, slicked up and plundering his all-too ready entrance. They stroked and plunged and twisted, rubbing across his sweet spot until Tony gasped and arched his back in pleasure. His fingers bit into Gibbs' muscled shoulders, bracing himself as he moved his hips, fucking himself and crying out for more. Tony reached between his legs to hold onto Gibbs' wrist, to ensure those fingers didn't have any chance to retract.

Gibbs kissed him, open-mouthed and rough, his tongue demanding, taking. Tony made a distressed sound when Gibbs withdrew his fingers and pushed him flat onto his back. With sure motions, Gibbs lubed his heavy dark cock, prodded Tony's legs into position and mounted him without hesitation in a long, slow slide that brought a gasp from his lover's open mouth.

Tony moved his hips encouragingly, almost shouting as he cried, "Damn it, Gibbs, move, just do it! Fuck me!"

Gibbs braced himself with hands on Tony's hipbones, his grip firm, and pulled back a little before thrusting his cock back into his lover's writhing body. The next time he withdrew a little further and his penetration into Tony's pliant body was deeper and harder. Again and again he pumped, changing the angle and the speed but never letting up on the assault on Tony's body until, with a final shudder, he came.

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Gibbs needed to hear Tony moan and whimper and shout when they had sex, as evidence that the way he plundered his body, in a far from gentle manner, was wholeheartedly embraced. Sometimes, when Gibbs lost himself in the physical act of fucking, and they both knew damned well that this was not making love, his last vestige of control would shred and he'd be torn apart from the inside out. It was only after he reached his peak and ejaculated, when he finally came back to earth and his heavy breathing slowly evened out, when his brain began to function once more in fits and starts like an old engine that needs coaxing to come back to life in cold weather, that Gibbs fully understood how unrestrained he had been.

As for Tony, he never said a word about how rough Gibbs had been. He'd merely wrap the older man in his loving arms to show he totally accepted everything that Gibbs had meted out, treating their joining as if it was a gift of immense value. Gibbs concluded that maybe Tony wanted, or needed, in some twisted way, to feel the punishing blows, to be taken down by his partner's carnal need. It didn't reduce Gibbs' feelings of guilt, but if this was what they both needed, the unmerciful give and take, then they were lucky to have each other.

Initially when Gibbs had realized what was going on, he had tried to avoid penetrating his lover as a way to spare him from harm. That hadn't lasted long. Gibbs reasoned that there was no need to practice anal sex when they both derived more than enough pleasure from making love in alternate ways, but Tony didn't agree. "It's not enough. I'm not complete unless I feel you inside of me," Tony insisted. In the end, as always, Gibbs gave in, unable to deny Tony what he wanted.

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Gibbs' chin jabbed into the muscle of Tony's shoulder as he shoved hard one more time and came, crying out, "Tony!" He always shouted Tony's name, even if he didn't remember doing it afterwards. He knew this because Tony, with a smirk on his face, would tell him about it later on, proud that even in a sexed-up, oblivious state, Gibbs knew whose ass he was driving his dick into.

Gibbs lay beside him, overcome, wet with semen and sweat and Tony's tears. He used a corner of the sheet to wipe the moisture off Tony's face. "Oh Tony," he whispered, unable to say anything more.

The younger man turned his head on the pillow, his mouth puffy and red from Gibbs' kisses, his eyes heavily lidded, and he smiled.

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After he'd cleaned Tony up, and then himself, Gibbs pulled out fresh tees and shorts for them to sleep in. When it appeared that Tony wasn't in any state to move a muscle, Gibbs coerced him into a sitting position and supported him while he helped him dress in clean clothes. Soon they were settled under the covers, warm and relaxed, with Tony leaning back against Gibbs as if he was a cushion, and Gibbs stroking one hand up and down his lover's arm in slow, calming strokes. Tony was quiet, quieter than usual, so Gibbs looked down at him and asked, "Hey, you okay?"

With a nod Tony captured Gibbs' hand and hugged it to his chest. "I don't look forward to being his age, you know," he said quietly.

Gibbs' tried and failed to see what Tony was referring to. "What do you mean?"

Tony offered a slight, nonchalant shrug that suggested quite the opposite emotion was playing out in his brain. "Being eighty."

Gibbs understood but was not about to ruin the mood by speaking Tony's father's name aloud. Instead he asked cautiously, "Why not?"

After a long pause Tony shrugged again. "You'd be ninety-two."

Unable to suppress a chuckle, Gibbs replied without thinking, "I doubt I'll live to be that old, Tony."

Tony turned in Gibbs' arms and laid his cheek to his chest. "However old you live to be, Jethro, I won't live a day longer."

Realizing what Tony was saying, Gibbs' heart went out to him. They both knew the likelihood of either or both of them being taken out in the line of duty was pretty high but they never spoke about it. It wasn't something Gibbs dwelled upon, but the thought of living without Tony in his arms, in his bed, in his life brought a sharp pain to his chest, unexpected in its severity. Holding Tony close, Gibbs laid a kiss on his temple. "Me either, babe. Me either."

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As Gibbs went to sleep that night, he thought back to the summer they'd spent together working on his boat. Tony had been amusing and generous, smart and mouthy, and sometimes so hurt and vulnerable that it made Gibbs' heart ache to watch him struggling with his demons. Tony may have matured, but he hadn't lost any of those endearing qualities of his youth. He still had his share of problems, anxiety and guilt, usually over things he had little to no control over – hell, they both did. Being there for Tony was all that mattered to Gibbs. Tony needed him more than he'd often admit, but Gibbs needed him right back, probably even more than Tony did.

They'd known each other for almost 20 years now; they'd been together, been close for all that time. He remembered that night before Tony left for the police academy…God, that was back in '93…seemed like a lifetime ago. He'd been tense all day, so uptight at the thought of Tony leaving, so fucking angry, that Tony had told him to chill at one point. Gibbs laughed a little at that, Tony telling him what to do. And then Tony had looked at him in a sad way that just tore at Gibbs' heart.

He'd lost it right then and there, had grabbed Tony and pushed him against the kitchen counter, hesitating only for a moment, until Tony's surprise at the swift, harsh move changed, and he relaxed in Gibbs' grip. "Do it," Tony had challenged, his expression bold, and then they kissed. They didn't stop there. Gibbs was like a man possessed, and Tony, well, he wasn't exactly submissive. He let Gibbs know what he liked and what he wanted, and they ended up in the spare room bed with Gibbs fucking Tony until he screamed.

Of course Gibbs felt guilty afterwards, which made Tony so angry at him for feeling that guilt, that they quarrelled even before they made it out of bed. But Tony, being Tony, had found their anger humorous, and he started laughing and asked, "How crazy is this? Like we didn't both want it."

That had Gibbs smiling, reluctantly, because he'd never experienced anything like this before, and didn't quite know what to do with it. But Tony knew, and for all the young man's inexperience with men, he had a way about him that made it all seem natural and good. Gibbs gave in eventually, and Tony made love to him, showing him how to slow down and enjoy what they had together.

Things were never smooth sailing between them. They had plenty of ups and downs over the years. There were a couple of times when they split up, with terrible shouting matches, swearing they'd never touch each other again. Of course that never stood for long. Tony loved him, through thick and thin, and he wasn't shy about reminding Gibbs that he felt that way, and to "stop being such an uptight ass, Jethro, and get over here and kiss me." Yeah, that was his Tony, pushing forward when things got tough. And Gibbs always obeyed – willingly, lovingly, thankfully – knowing that they would, as Tony had once said, be on each other's sixes, for always and forever.

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Note - I intended to continue writing this episodic story, but so much time has passed that I know now that I won't add to it. So I added a wrap-up ending, and slightly edited some of the earlier chapters to bring more slash into the 'early days' chapters. I am now marking it as Complete.

P.S. - There is also a Gen version of this story, an edited, pared-down version called "Road Trip." It follows Tony when he was in college and met Gibbs, and how they came to care for each other in a father/son way. I wrote it for a fanzine and you can find it here at fanfiction.

Thanks for reading and commenting!