Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction. The author does not own anything concerning Gainax's IP Neon Genesis Evangelion. The company gives the word and this comes down.
Amends
The room was much like it was last time—broken, drafty. Pregnant with the stolen memories of others. This only the second time Rei walked through the shattered Pribnow Box. Her memories lie in the cavernous Awakening Chamber outside. The floor reeled in recollection. The draft summoned up the sharp tang of chemical propellants. Sudden numbness in her chest, pressure in the cheeks, tears pulled from the eyes with pulled gees.
She sighed, brow furrowed up as she gazed upon Unit-00, broken and trapped. Cool breeze tainted with Bakelite. Standing there on the precipice a wild urge claimed her, begged her to jump.
Do it, came the papery voice.
She shook her head, "No."
Please.
Please. As if a will to assent exists.
She stared at the great mono-eye of the beast, shining in red, its head plastered to the wall in agony. Flashes of electric pain, commanding respect, run through her. She itches at her raw arm cradled in its parasitic cast.
Rei reaches out with the good hand, letting fingers spill into the chilly wind coming from nowhere. Slowly, with her eyes firmly on Unit-00, she lets her hand slide through the air like a leaf on the wind, light and chaotic. A gentle lift, the slow fall.
Everything is like liquid, she thinks. This caress entreats to mend the pain on both sides.
Some shadow of promise boils behind that singular eye. Flash bulb in the mind, followed by the image of a tiny body, curled up against itself, shivering, weeping. Her little neck roped with ugly yellowed bruises.
Are you mad?
"I am not." The words scream in such profound silence. Papers flutter in fits and starts. Rei calms the prickling of her skin. The little voice of Reflection so bereft of feeling. Is this how the world sees me, she wonders.
I hurt you. You frightened me. This place…is not whole. Not real. When I woke…
"You've been alone a long time."
I can't wake up. The old ha—…old lady—
Choking hands. Cloying smoke. A painted, twisted face.
"Hag. You were correct in your first assertion."
A teary smile burst on Reflection's face, sitting up and smoothing the hem of her worn green skirt. The little one's head hung ever so slightly at a wrong angle. Bowing her head, shoulders shaking with undeniable mirth, the little mirror of Rei Ayanami held out a hand. The light in her eyes as she jerked her head up was unmistakable.
I am grateful…that you are not upset.
"It is…" she knows not what to say. "You were the first. Of me. Of us. You have many sisters in a deep, dark place."
They are not us. Just flesh, reflections. But that is meaningless. I accept you, Little Mother. Me. We cannot fight ourselves.
"We are replaceable. We—I go on. That's…why I did not fear you."
I know.
Rei's hand dances through the air, still soothing her likeness' pain, its Unit's pain. She imagines brushing that soaked blue hair away from fragile brow. It is…painful to see herself.
There was no childhood for Rei, not…in her current skin. All of that is wrapped in steel, and flesh, and wire, and anger, and buried so deep inside.
The taste of reconciliation is joyous and inwardly pleasing. But the lost childhood sitting before her, smiling so sadly, is bittersweet. Her little reflection's proffered hand goes ignored. Time flits by on the air, Little One's arm lowers, curious.
What is wrong?
Rei's caress never pauses.
"Soon," she promises, knowing that all will end in time to come.
"Soon."
A/N: So, Rei drabbles. Mulled it over for a week now. Now I'm doing them. Fun! The first one was a disgrace. Terribly samey to everything written about Rei since the fandom began. Mashadar was kind enough to point this out as well and help with this ending line! So…here it is. And I'm much happier for it. Hope you all are too.