All things Rizzoli and Isles belong to Tess Gerritsen, Janet Tamaro, and other entities. I'm altering their realities for fun, not profit, as I own nothing and have the credit report to prove it. I also don't own the tiny bit of Laura Nyro's And When I Die quoted in this chapter, or the rest of it, either.

"I'm bored," Jane Rizzoli announced as if it were breaking news.

Dr. Maura Isles sighed internally. She loved Jane, but her best friend sometimes had the attention span of a flea on amphetamines. It was worse since her pain medication was reduced. "Isn't there a game on?"

"There isn't anything on except stupid talk shows and game shows and reruns that were old when I was a kid."

Maura lowered the pathology journal she was trying to read. "You'll be coming home with me in a few more days."

"Why can't we go now?"

Maura bit back a grin, certain that Jane was playing with her. She knew a thing or two about that game. "Large caliber gunshot wound to the chest. Entry in the mid right quadrant, exit through the back in the upper right quadrant."

"All right, all right, I got it. I did something stupid and this is my punishment." Jane sighed and turned toward Maura. "But I'm still bored."

"What do you want to do that you're allowed to do?"

"Can we go for a walk?" Jane asked hopefully.

Another lap around the ward might settle her down, Maura thought, or wear her out enough for a nap. "All right," she agreed, and got up from her seat to help Jane, who was eagerly trying to get ready to get out of bed.

Everything in the hospital was a performance. First, Jane had to sit with her feet dangling while Maura made certain her socks were on correctly and moved the I.V. pole and all the lines so they wouldn't get caught on anything. When Jane stood, she kept one hand on the bed while Maura checked that she wouldn't flash anyone. Finally, they were able to move toward the door.

The half steps she had to take annoyed Jane as much as anything else about the hospital. She tried taking regular steps, and they hurt like a bitch. So she stayed close to the wall, using the rail for support, and holding Maura's hand tightly.

By the time they got back to her room, Jane was paler, and sweating little, and Maura didn't bother to ask any more, because Jane always said she was fine, even though it was obvious that she was extremely uncomfortable and probably in actual pain.

Jane was asleep within minutes of getting back into bed. Her breathing evened out into the new cadence Maura was familiar with, and color returned to her face. Maura looked at the clock before picking up her magazine again. They had an hour or so before people started coming by.

Jane hated being seen like this, and at the same time was glad for visits from her friends and family. Frankie was supposed to come tonight. He'd been out of the hospital for two days, staying in his old bedroom at their parents' home, being babied by their mother.

Jane made it clear to her mother that she wasn't going to do that. Maura was going to stay with her, or she with Maura, and while her mother was welcome to visit, she wasn't moving in or camping out or making excuses to come over three times a day. It helped that she would be with Maura – "She's a doctor, Ma. She saved Frankie's life. I'm pretty sure she can handle this." – who her mother adored since the first time Jane dragged her to a family dinner.

Maura tried to read her magazine, but she, too, was restless. It was almost a week since she ducked through the doorframe to hear Jane screaming for someone to take a shot. She instinctively turned in the same direction as dozens of gun barrels, just in time to watch Jane wrestle Marino's gun away from her head, where any shot would be fatal, to her body.

There was noise, and the mist of blood out Marino's back, and in slow motion, they fell to the ground. Korsak and Frost were there right after she was, pulling his corpse from under Jane, causing a stream of blood to flow from beneath her into Maura's knees as she desperately grabbed Frost's hand to keep pressure on the entry room while she shoved hers under Jane, ignoring the scrape of concrete, trying to find a way to slow the bright red blood that was everywhere.

Maura stayed until Korsak picked her up so the EMTs could carry on. In the back of her mind, she was amazed that Frost hadn't vomited, as he usually did at a crime scene. Of course, the blood there wasn't fresh, and he didn't know the victims. Maura didn't realize her teeth were chattering as she watched the EMTs move Jane to a gurney and load her in the ambulance.

Korsak removed his suit coat and put it on Maura's shoulders. He put his arm around her, looked at Frost, and jerked his head toward the parking lot. Frost got on Maura's other side, and the three of them walked through the chaos to Korsak's car.

They reached the hospital shortly after the ambulance, but it was too soon for any information other than both Rizzolis were still miraculously alive. Korsak paced, and Frost stared at the wall from the chair beside Maura, who stared at the hem of her once beautiful dress, now saturated with rich, red blood. Jane's blood. It was drying on her clothes, flaking from her skin as it oxidized.

When Frank and Angela arrived, the waiting room was overrun with police officers of all ranks. Angela was quiet, Frank grim, and Frost gave up his seat so Angela could sit.

"Maura, honey, are you all right?" Angela asked.

Maura didn't recognize her own voice. "No. No, I don't think so."

"What happened?"

What happened was easy enough to answer, and Maura saw it fast forward through her head. Frankie injured. Jane's desperate begging. Marino's double-cross. SWAT and EMTs invading her morgue, and taking Frankie away before she ran upstairs, hoping Jane found a way out. It slowed down as she stepped through the door, careful of the glass still clinging to the frame. Guns in the hands of every visible officer, Frost staring, Korsak swearing, Jane screaming, fighting. An explosion, and everything slowed again, as blood sprayed from Marino's back and they both dropped to the sidewalk. Blood. More slick, bright blood. Not at all what she was used to dealing with, and this was the second time today and she didn't have gloves and didn't give a damn because if she didn't do something, Jane would die, and that was completely unacceptable.

Maura shook her head and pulled Korsak's jacket tighter.

"Rizzoli!" a voice cut through the soft conversations going on everywhere.

Frank waited for his wife, who pulled Maura up, and a path cleared to the doctor.

"What's going on?" Frank asked the nurse.

"Both of them have been moved to surgery. It's going to be a while, but we'll keep you updated. Family can wait in the surgical waiting room. I'll take you there."

Angela kept her arm around Maura as they moved through the halls. She was glad that someone needed mothering. Taking care of Maura gave her something to do besides worry. This was the day she dreaded more than any other, and to be told by Lt. Cavanaugh that both Frankie and Jane were injured – shot – was a sucker punch of the worst degree. Cavanaugh was no help. He didn't say how or why they were hurt, only that Jane and Frankie were heroes. Angela didn't want dead heroes; she wanted her children alive and whole, squabbling over whose turn it was to buy beer and whether that was a legal shot on goal and who was the best pitcher in the American League.

The surgical waiting room was empty except for the three of them. A few minutes later, Korsak and Frost arrived. After that, officers moved in and out, paying their respects before heading downstairs to give blood.

Maura's head shot up when a surgeon entered. He had far less blood on his scrubs than Maura had on her person. "Mr. Rizzoli came through surgery without any complications. We're going to keep him in ICU overnight. He'll be in recovery for a few hours before he's moved. Someone will let you know."

"Jane?" Maura asked hopefully.

"Another team is working on her."

'Working on her' could mean any of several things, but Maura chose to interpret it positively. Jane's injuries were more severe; more time was needed to repair the damage.

When Angela and Frank went up to the ICU to stay with Frankie, Maura stayed and waited for Jane's surgeon. It was after midnight before he came to the waiting room.

Jane was stable. In recovery. On her way to ICU soon. Maura asked question after question, getting a detailed picture in her mind of Jane's injuries, which were not as bad as they could have been, before thanking him.

Korsak and Frost trailed her up to ICU, but stopped at the waiting area outside the doors. While Maura got buzzed in, they sat down to wait a little longer.

By the time Maura reached the nurses' station, Angela was there. "Yes, she's family," Angela repeated firmly before turning to Maura. "Is there news?"

"She's out of surgery. He said she's stable, and will be moved here from recovery."

"Is she ok?"

"She will be, barring complications." Maura tried to not think of them. "How's Frankie?"

"He's awake. He keeps asking for you." Angela put her hand on Maura's shoulder and urged her forward.

When he saw her, Frankie's eyes opened wide. "Maura," he rasped, smiling.

Frank stepped back so Maura could get to his bedside. She tried to make a joke. "How's my first live patient this year?"

"Still alive. Thank you."

"Thank your sister."

"Where is she?"

He didn't know, and she didn't want to be the one to tell him.

When she didn't answer, Frankie asked again.

"She's on her way," Maura said. "You need to rest."

"Your poker face sucks, Maura."

"So Jane says." Maura began to back away from Frankie's bed, uncertain how much longer she could hold herself together. "Rest," she urged, and fled.

Not far, just to the waiting room, where Frost and Korsak were both on their phones, and had one question when they finished those conversations. Maura filled them in about Frankie while they waited.

Maura heard the gurney roll from the elevator and stood up. When it got close, she recognized Jane, pale and unmoving, and followed them in. She stood at the nurses' station with Angela, impatiently waiting for them to get Jane hooked up to all the instruments.

She had to wait a little longer. Angela and Frank went in first, and when Frank returned to Frankie, Maura went in.

Jane was wedged on her side, to keep pressure off her wounds. Maura just stared for several seconds, watching the slight rise and fall of Jane's chest.

"Talk to her," Angela urged.

Maura bit her tongue. Nothing she wanted to say to Jane should be said in front of her mother, who didn't know yet the circumstances surrounding the shootings. Instead, she walked up the bed, around Angela, and kissed Jane's forehead. "Rest. Heal. I'll be back soon."

"You must be exhausted," Angela said.

"Yes. I'll be back in the morning."

"I'll make sure they know you're allowed in."

"Thank you. They're safe now. You should go home, too."

"We will. Good night, Maura."

"Good night, Angela."

When the ICU doors opened, Korsak and Frost stood up. "As well as can be expected," Maura answered before they could ask. "Would one of you please take me to my car?"

"We all ready had it moved to your house," Korsak said as they walked toward the elevator.

"Thank you. Oh my goodness, Bass."

"He's at your place with Jane's dog."

"Thank you so much."

"Yeah, you're welcome. It's not big deal."

"Everything's a big deal," Maura corrected him. She looked at Frost. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," he nodded decisively. He was alive and uninjured, and beginning tomorrow, they could start sorting out exactly what happened. "She really all right?"

"Yes."

"Good." After this, Jane Rizzoli was officially the toughest cop in Boston P.D., and Frost realized it was time to have a serious talk with Korsak about her, one that required alcohol and time and ended with a handshake.

They took Maura out through the emergency room, past the line of officers still waiting to give blood. No lights or sirens on this ride, only Maura struggling to stay awake, and at the end of it, Frost and Korsak making her wait in the car while they checked out her house again, to be safe.

Maura wanted to just go to sleep, but there were things that still needed her attention. She removed Korsak's jacket and laid it over the couch. It needed to go to the cleaner or be replaced. She fed both animals, and let Joe Friday out in the fenced yard for a few minutes, and finally made it back to her bathroom.

Before removing her dress, Maura took a long look at herself in the full-length mirror. She hardly recognized the woman who looked back. Her dress was stiff with dried blood, and it was still on her hands and legs. There was some on her forehead, and more in her hair. She looked down at her shoes, with huge scrapes the same rusty color as every other stain.

She couldn't take it any longer, and quickly stripped. Maura left the dress and everything else she had on in a heap in the floor. Their next stop was a garbage bag, where she wouldn't have to look at them ever again.

Maura got into the steaming shower. For the first several seconds, the water around the drain was darker. 'Jane's blood,' she realized, and a sob tore from her.

So much was lost today, and even more nearly taken. As she rushed through the station, trying to find Jane, she counted the bodies she passed. Officers, witnesses, and miscreants lay in unnatural positions, blood drying darkly around them.

She didn't want to remember what came next, and couldn't stop it, and nothing was ever as loud as the sound of Marino's gun discharging into Jane, except the wail that came from Maura as she saw it again.

The water was cooling by the time Maura pulled herself together. She finished her shower, toweled off, and went to her bedroom. She got panties and one of Boston PD shirts Jane left there, and got into bed.

The dog joined her a few minutes later, and Maura heard Bass making his way toward them, and all she needed – all she would ever need – was Jane beside her, making all of the evil that they saw each day fade into nothing.

When she woke, the sun was in her eyes. The dog immediately jumped on her chest, and Maura wondered how long she slept. She saw it was nearly 11 a.m., and threw back the covers. She checked for Bass before putting her feet down, and Joe Friday danced around her legs while Maura went to let her out in the yard. She started coffee, and put food and fresh water down for the animals, and went back to her bedroom to prepare for a day in the hospital.

The intensive care unit was a blessing of sorts. It was quiet, apart from the machinery, more so after Frankie was moved to a regular surgical recovery unit and Angela wasn't coming in every few minutes, seeking a change that wouldn't occur any time soon. It also kept away the officers wanting her statement. Although Maura felt better today, she was in no hurry to revisit everything that happened in the detail an official statement required.

She tried to read, and watched Jane, and watched how her nurse cared for her.

"I know her from last time," the nurse volunteered.

"Last time?" Maura asked.

"When she saved that woman from that psycho."

"Ah."

"I don't remember you, though."

"I didn't know her then."

"She's a hero."

"She is," Maura agreed. It didn't make her feel any better.

"Let me know if either of you need anything."

"Thank you," Maura said, and it was just them again, and the quiet beeping of machinery. She knew Jane didn't think herself a hero for surviving Hoyt, and certainly wouldn't for yesterday. Everyone was desperate, Jane most of all, as she feared for Frankie's life and drove Maura to utilize bits of her training she never had call for. Jane would probably call Maura a hero.

Maura didn't feel she deserved that label, either.

They had to talk, and they were terrible at it. Jane hated to talk about her feelings, or anyone else's unless it pertained to a case. Maura missed the emotionally intimate conversation chapter of the book, as well as several on either side of it, and had no idea how to tell Jane the things she needed to say.

How could you do this? Why couldn't you trust me? A few seconds longer, you would have known Frankie was safe. You didn't have to shoot yourself. What do I tell Frankie? What do I tell your mother? You always jump in first and I can't stand that any more. I'm so afraid, Jane. I've always been afraid, but every time I see your wounds, I am terrified. What's to keep you from doing something so stupid again?

"Maura," Frankie grinned, much like his sister's, and Maura got up from her chair to accept a bear hug from him.

"How do you feel?"

"Much better now that I'm gettin' real food. How's Jane?"

"Improving. She continually complains about wanting to leave."

"Not continually."

"Hey, sis."

Maura moved so Frankie could get to Jane.

"Hey yourself. Didja bring me somethin' to eat?"

"I think Ma's bringin' somethin'. How you feel?"

"Like I been shot, moron."

"I was shot twice," he answered indignantly.

"Enough," Maura said. "It's not a competition, and even if it were, Jane would win because of Hoyt, and I don't want to hear about him, either."

"She always this touchy?"

Jane rolled her eyes. "Only child."

"Oh," Frankie said, as if that explained everything, and Maura had to wait to ask Jane what they meant. "First funeral's tomorrow," he told Jane in a casual tone.

"Make sure your shoes are shined," she answered.

Frankie nodded, and Jane nodded back. Their parents came in then, before Maura was able to decipher what they shared. Angela hugged her, and that distracted Maura, and the question was lost in the happy noise in the hospital room.

Maura didn't plan to go to the funeral, but dressed as if she did. It turned out to be a good thing because Frankie showed up early with Jane's dress uniform in a bag, and neither of them listened to a word anyone said. Jane disconnected everything while Frankie restrained Maura from stopping her. He turned Maura loose, laid his sister's uniform on the bed, and turned his back.

Maura watched Jane, still not believing she would endanger her health in such a fashion. Despite slowness, grunts, and groans, Jane got her pants and shirt on without help. She sat heavily on the bed. "Frankie."

While he turned around, Maura went to Jane. She took the socks from Jane. "As a medical doctor and your best friend, I think this is a horrible idea."

"Noted. Now please either put my socks on or give them to Frankie."

Frankie, who watched the exchange, had nothing to say. He'd seen enough fights between his sister and his mother to know that the safest thing to do was stay out of it.

"Jane, please don't do this."

"Maura, I will never be more serious than I am right now. Either help or get out of the way."

Despite her misgivings, Maura dropped to a crouch and put Jane's socks on. Jane handed her shoes down, and Maura eased her into them, and tied them.

Jane stood again, and Maura looked at her. "Turn around," she told Frankie, and he fled to the hall while Maura undid Jane's pants and properly tucked in her blouse. When she was satisfied, she handed Jane her hat. "It's too much to hope you'll use the wheelchair, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

Maura called for Jane's brother, and he returned with a wheelchair, which he somehow coaxed Jane into.

Maura and Jane sat in the back seat while Frankie drove. Korsak and Frost waited outside the church. "They're waiting for you," Korsak announced, and he, Maura, and Frost exchanged worried looks.

Jane walked in slowly. She was leaning on Maura, but it didn't look like it, and Frankie's hold was more cautionary than anything.

By the time it was over, both Frankie and Jane were gray with exhaustion and pain. Maura couldn't believe that they intended to do this again twice the next day, and the day after that.

She shouldn't have been surprised when Frankie took them to Maura's afterward, and left Jane on the couch with a bottle of white pills that Maura promptly confiscated, even though they had Jane's name on them and were appropriate for pain management in her current condition. As soon as he left, Maura went to get a drink so Jane could take one of the pills.

To her amazement, Jane wasn't on the couch when Maura returned. She hurried down the hall and found Jane curled on her bed, Joe Friday madly licking her face. Maura sat in the ell of Jane's thighs and calves. "I wish you told me what you were planning to do."

"I knew you'd argue. I had to go. Those guys died because Bobby Marino was dirty. They died in the place they should be safe. I survived, and it's my duty and my privilege to attend their funerals."

"I understand, but you should be in the hospital."

"Nah." Jane scrubbed the dog's head again. "I'll do better here."

It was another of those moments they kept having, and Maura filed it away, but kept the warmth. "If you intend to wear that uniform tomorrow, you need to take it off before it gets any more wrinkled or furry." Maura stood up and waited for Jane to ask for help, pleased when she did.

Maura was far less pleased when she removed the dark uniform and saw bright red blood on the bandages covering both of Jane's wounds. Not so much that she was worried. Yet. And she had to get Jane's shoes and pants off before she, and Maura suddenly flushed. This was not at all what she pictured when she got Jane Rizzoli nearly nude in her bed.

That was a thought for another day, and Maura's doorbell rang. Jane stiffened. Maura laid Jane's shirt on the bed. "Stay still," she instructed.

"Be careful," Jane answered, and waited impatiently.

Pharmacy delivery, with exactly what Maura needed to clean and re-dress Jane's wounds, plus an antibiotic, and a second, stronger pain prescription, all from Jane's doctor. Maura realized just then how thoroughly Frankie and Jane planned her early escape, and wasn't sure whether to be angry as she returned to the bedroom.

Jane's pants were around her ankles on the floor, and Maura did her best not to laugh. She put the bag on the nightstand before kneeling to remove Jane's shoes and pants. She put the pants with the shirt; she would give them both attention once Jane was asleep.

Maura gave Jane one of the stronger pills and killed time for a few minutes before she tackled Jane's wounds. The exit wound was larger, and Jane somehow missed her scapula, so the only damage was to her ribs, and it wasn't really that bad. The stitches looked fine, and she gently cleaned and bandaged it. The front wound was harder. She had to stay so close to Jane, and she knew all the things that could have gone wrong if the bullet's path deviated even a millimeter.

Her tears were silent and unexpected, and Jane stopped her, and that was just as well because Maura couldn't clearly see what she was doing.

"It's all right," Jane comforted, not minding the awkwardness of her position or the slight tension on her stitches. It was Maura, and anything she needed from Jane, Jane would give.

"It almost wasn't." That thought wrapped around every other, accompanied by mental images of Jane and Frankie bloodless and bare on her autopsy table. The whole time, Maura hadn't feared for her safety, only for Frankie's, and after Marino dragged her off, Jane's.

"But it is." Unlike Maura, Jane didn't take time to consider every possibility. Things worked out or they didn't. In this case, Jane had to admit she was extremely happy that they did. Frankie was safe at home, and she was a little busted up, and no one else who mattered to Jane was physically harmed. "Everything's ok, Maura."

"No, it's not." Maura forced herself from the comfort of Jane's arms. She had to somehow make Jane understand.

"Maura?"

"Have you looked at yourself? Do you have any idea how close you came to dying?"

Jane bit back a laugh as a line from one of her mother's records surfaced: "I'm not scared of dying/And I don't really care..."

"…long term damage," Maura continued.

Jane finally realized what drove Maura's lecture. "I'm not going to leave you," she interrupted.

"Of course, you are. Everyone does."

"Not happening." Jane raised her aching arm to touch Maura's face.

Maura pushed it down. "You aren't supposed to do that yet."

"You know that's a suggestion, right?"

"No, it isn't."

Jane reached across her body to touch Maura with her other hand. "Look at me, please?" she coaxed.

After darting round the room for several seconds, Maura's eyes landed on Jane's.

"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

"What were you thinking?" Maura burst out.

Jane understood Maura's question and answered immediately. "I had to get Frankie outta there. I had to get some help."

"By shooting yourself? Did you think for even a second?"

"That's all I did." Jane looked away, toward a corner of the room. "Once we were someplace I knew he couldn't hurt you, I fought. I kicked, I grabbed at everything. I saw my friends dead at their desks, and I wasn't gonna let him add me to that number. Bastard," she hissed, and unconsciously began to rub the scars on her hands. "No one was gonna take a shot, and Frankie was bleeding to death and I didn't know if you were all right, and I had to do something."

"And shooting yourself seemed like a good idea."

"No, it seemed like a crappy idea, but it was only one I could come up with." Jane sighed and looked back at Maura, who was obviously still angry. "I'm sorry you saw it."

"Do you think it would be any different if I didn't?"

"No." Jane realized what she was doing with her hands and stopped. "I'm sorry," she said again.

Maura couldn't choose one from the things trying to get out, and rather than push either one of them more, answered, "Don't be sorry. Just don't do it again." She picked up a gauze package, opened it, and wet it with distilled water. Maura set all of her attention on cleaning Jane's wound, careful of the stitches and bruising. She applied antibiotic cream and re-bandaged it.

Jane watched Maura's hands, unable to look at her yet face yet. Maura was mad, and it was her fault. Jane was sleepy, too; the pain medication was beginning to kick in with a vengeance, and she yawned and owwwed at the stretching muscles.

Maura finished what she was doing and cleared away the small mess. She put Jane's uniform over a chair and got a flannel shirt from the closet, one of several she brought over. Button up shirts would be much easier until Jane regained some range of motion.

Jane eased down onto her side. Joe Friday immediately took a position at the back of her legs, and Jane stopped Maura from leaving.

"Right after, you know, I was looking at the sky and my ears were ringing, and then you were there, and I knew everything would be ok."

Maura fled.

Jane watched the open door sadly, hoping for Maura's return, but the narcotics laid claim to her first.