A/N: Okay… just something that popped into my mind while listening to 'Respect' by Pink. In my mind, this song would be Kurt's theme song…. :) Haha and I can totally imagine Kurt dancing to it. Plus it's my first full on Purt fic, so please be nice!

Italics- Kurt singing

Bold- Girls singing

Bold Italics- Kurt and girls singing

Warnings: Puckness, smexytease! Kurt, and slash.

Disclaimer: Have Puck and Kurt been suspended for public sexytimes? No? Then I don't own Glee. I also don't own 'Respect' by Pink

I watch as the rest of the glee club files into the room, trying not to gawk when a certain slim brunette walks into the room. I just slump back into my chair and try to look like I don't care-which I don't. I don't care that Hummel's pants look all but painted on. I don't care that he's wearing one of the tightest shirts in history- I definitely don't care that it hugs his soft curves. So then why are my pants getting tighter?

I try not to watch as he sashays over to Mr. Schue, and instead decide on trying to figure out when these strange feelings for Hummel began.

I guess I can trace it back to about three months ago when he wore that damned corset. I had actually bothered to attend my Trig class and what do I see when I walk in? Hummel, sitting in the desk next to mine, in a red corset. Normally the sight wouldn't have perturbed me- I mean, Hummel is always wearing some freaky shit. But he was sitting. Right. Next. To. Me. So what if I sneaked a few glances? It's not like I was falling for him or anything… At least I hadn't thought I was. After that, I started noticing little things, like the fact that his eyes change from light gray to a cool misty blue. Or the hurt expression that no one else seemed to notice whenever he was slushied or pushed into the lockers. Or the small smile that he would send in Finn's direction, even though he knew that there was no chance in hell of being with the quarterback….

"Okay guys, Kurt has a number that he would like to perform for us; whenever you're ready Kurt."

I look up, unwillingly focusing on the boy in front of the classroom. He smiles and then turns to the piano, setting an iHome on the top of the instrument.

"Girls, except Rachel, would you like to help me?"

Mr. Schue shot him a warning glance, and Kurt sighed.

"Okay, girls, including Rachel, would you like to help me?"

The girls nodded before making their way to the front of the classroom. Quinn and Tina took their places behind Kurt, Mercedes flanking his right and Santana flanking his left. After a prompt from Tina, both Rachel and Brittany took the outer edges of the formation.

"Hit it."

Upbeat music started in the background and Kurt began dancing and singing.

"1 and 2 and 3 and 4
this my rap song
1-2-3-4
I get really sick and tired of boys up in my face"
He danced around the front of the class, moving his hips in a way that should be made illegal. The girls follow him and move so that they're each standing in front of a guy. I gulp when Kurt stands in front of me, an evil smirk on his angelic face.
"Pick up lines like "What's your sign" won't get
you anyplace
When me and all my girls go walking down the
street
It seems we can't go anywhere without a car that
goes "Beep-beep"

He rolls his hips, sticking out that pert ass and at that point, I have to grab my backpack off the floor and put it on my lap. He prances away from me and rejoins the girls in the front where they start singing again.

"Cuz this body is a priceless piece of lovin'
unconditionally"

I, and all the rest of the guys, gawk when the girls (and Kurt) start running their hands down their bodies. I know the lyrics and I don't know whether it's planned or not, but Mike gets up and moves over to Tina, his look on his face showing his intention of dragging the Asian girl into the nearest empty classroom. Immediately the girls surround her as Tina pushes him away, a cocky smirk on her face.

"So, Mr. Big-stuff, who you think you are?
You was thinkin' you was gonna get it for free
Now, now, now,"

Mike joins them and I know it was planned. I wonder what would have happened if it had been me who had gotten up. What would Kurt have done? I bite my lip at the very gay thought but shrug it off and settle for watching all of them dance towards their respective guys, and somehow Kurt's in front of me again.

"Hey ladies
(Yeah!)
Let 'em know it ain't easy
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Let's come togeta'
Sista's
(Yeah!)
Its time to be greedy
Nothin' good comes for free"

This time I can't resist myself and I reach my hand out just as Kurt is sashaying away and smack his ass. He turns around, a flirty smile on his face but I can see tendrils of red snaking their way up his neck towards their ultimate destination- his cheeks. However, he doesn't seem to dwell on my molesting him and begins singing again.

"Mirror on the wall, damn I sure look fine
I can't blame those horny boys, I would make me
mine"

This time he taps his ass before grinding it not so subtly on my lap. Luckily, the girls are doing the exact same thing so nobody except Mr. Schue is looking in our general direction- his eyes are popping out of his head because of the sensuality of the performance that I don't think he's going to be able to speak in the near future.

"When I pass you in a club, "Ooh, lala!" you gasp
Back up boy, I ain't your toy, or your piece of
ass"

Kurt notices that I'm not paying attention to him and proceeds to scramble onto my lap, effectively discarding my backpack, and sings his part into my ear. Then he subtly grinds his hips into mine, contradicting the lyrics to the song. I bite my lip harder in a vain attempt to hide my moan. My hands move up to grab his ass but he swats them away and gets up.

"So, Mr. Big-stuff, who you think you are?
You was thinkin' you was gonna get it for free
Now, now, now,"

He dances to the front, where the girls are already and begins dancing with them.

"Hey ladies
(Yeah!)
Let 'em know it ain't easy
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Let's come togeta'
Sista's
(Yeah!)
Its time to be greedy
Nothin' good comes for free"

They all stop in place and Kurt begins weaving in and out of them, the corset sliding down his chest a bit- revealing more snow white skin. Suddenly a vision of Kurt's neck marred by purple bruises comes into my mind and my pants become impossibly tighter. Kurt sashays around them, and each one smacks his ass.

"No jealousy, no envy girls, c'mon, let's work it
out
No freebies in the limousine, that's not what it's
about
Let 'em know there's work to do, give it up he
won't call you
Respect is just a minimum, go on girl and get you
some "

They cut the song short and pose all together, vaguely reminding me of Charlie's Angels. I hold back a groan. The last thing my sanity needed was an image of Kurt in tight leather. As soon as the music ends, we all stand up and begin clapping. Mr. Schue looks like he's about to say something, but before he can utter a single word, I'm up and all but drag Kurt out of the room. I think he says 'Thanks Mercedes' while I'm dragging him out but I can't bring myself to care. I'm a sex shark, and Kurt Hummel is my next 'victim'.

In my opinion, not my best work, but I had to get the plot bunny out of my system. Review?