Title: Responsibilitia di Anima
Author: Sare Liz
Continuity: Crossover between Twilight & Batman
Disclaimer: I own neither Twilight nor Batman. Meyer & Co. and DC Comics, et al. do, not I.
Rating: PG.

Beta: Colleen. Bless her, she reads anything I send her, no matter how odd.
Author's Note: Inspired by a drawing done by god-knows-who of Batman kicking back in the batcave, reading Twilight. After that, I just couldn't help myself. :)

There were days when I could consider my master predictable at best and trite at worst. If people knew him as I knew him they would not wonder at all. If they knew his history as intimately as I did, they would not need advanced degrees in psychology to marvel and analyze the figure he struck both in the high powered business world and in the underground world of vigilantism. Bruce Anthony Wayne is not so hard a nut to crack when you've got all the information at your fingertips.

But then there are days like today when all that flies out the window and I haven't the faintest clue what on earth he's on about.

The master has very particular and largely unvarying tastes in music, literature, and art. While he does know enough to be pleasantly conversant in nearly everything, and certainly has the social acumen to politely intake whatever is necessary in a given situation, in his own time there is a limited amount he is willing to endure. His music is jazz. He says he approves of the improvisation. His art is modern, but then his mother appreciated it as well. He does not read fiction, preferring to consume in vast quantities news, history, economics, politics, business, engineering and forensics. To this he adds the occasional biography, though as much as he can he prefers audiobooks that he can listen to while working out, working in his workshop, or while he is in transit, as he is so frequently. Not that he listens to podcasts while in the batmobile, mind, but his business interests have him traveling to and fro quite a bit, to say nothing of his daily commute.

All the same I was shocked one day, shocked I say, to find him reading the latest tell-all autobiography-and I use that word, autobiography, in the loosest of fashions, mind you-downstairs in the cave. Not that he doesn't spend a considerable amount of time downstairs, so to speak, but he was still suited up. Usually he returns home from a call, disrobes, and in his more comfortable and less expensive exercise clothing spends some small amount of time decompressing in the gym. He stretches a bit afterwards, perhaps does some research, or puts some ideas down on paper, and then heads off to what sleep he can manage before the daylight draws him back again. But this day I found him as ensconced as can be, booted feet up on the control console, fingers anxiously waiting to turn the next page in that abominable manuscript that is-let us be frank, now-largely romantic in nature.

Romance.

What next?

And when I caught him at it, he didn't even have the good grace to appear flustered. Though I will grant you that I've accidentally caught him in more compromising positions than reading that tell-all tripe of Ms. Swan's. I've heard it's actually part one of four, and to be perfectly honest I'd be surprised if Ms. Swan is still alive at the end of final publication. I do hope she's already finished the last book. Even the National Vampire Lobby was up in arms about the book-which is of course a New York Times Bestseller-and they are the most progressive outfit representing such creatures. The International Vampire Union is up in arms and there have been threats from Responsabilita di Anima to come down hard in the Seattle environs. Why Seattle, I'm not sure. It's possible that the majority of the manuscript describes events in the Pacific Northwest. That would make the most sense, I'm sure.

Of course it has nothing to do with Gotham, or Bludhaven. Or really, it's nothing to do with anything in the Tri-State area. Then again, Wayne Industries does have a few interests in Seattle. I wonder if Wayne BioTech is branching out to R&D synthetic blood, or some such shenanigans. I'm sure that must be it.

I have heard, of course, that Twilight, romantic tripe aside, is the most genuine and detailed firsthand account of non-fatal social intercourse with vampires. If any of the rest of us have such social intercourse, we either don't realize it until it's too late and then it is fatal, or we never realize to begin with. It's quite insidious. They hide in plain sight and in a city like Gotham with the amount of dedicated cloud cover we have, it is quite likely that we have any number of vampires we unwittingly allow to roost in our eaves.

Or so I imagine.

I have not, of course, read said book. I suppose if the master reads it, I ought to pick it up. It does not do to be too unaware of his interests, as they crop up at the most unlikely of moments. I suppose I could pick up an audiobook of it and listen covertly whilst I polish the silver and work on the batmobile. It is in constant need of fine-tuning, and it isn't as if I would have to lend all of my attention to such a literary paragon as this. Well, I shall see to it. That will be a wonderful addition to my new iPod. I do love new technology.

But now, dear diary, I must away. This mansion and my master do not tend to themselves. I have an entire cadre of discrete mansion staff to manage and the two live-in mechanics on the cave staff to whom I must tend. We have guests coming in three days and the master has not yet given me the usual information of food preferences and personality traits as is his wont. This means I shall have to resort to the Google and my own admittedly respectable ability to hack the master's files. Dr. Carlisle Cullen seems on the up and up, but there are ten in his party, all adults, and that just strikes me as odd.

End Note: I hope you enjoyed it! Please leave me a review and let me know. If you're curious, follow along with the revolution on twitter, (a)Sareliz, or check out my blog at sareliz-dot-com. Peace!