Temporary Home

A D. Gray-Man Song-Fic

Sitting on the train to his latest mission as an Exorcist, Lavi looked back at his life and wondered what people would think if they knew his story.

If his "friends" would still think of him the same way if they heard about his past. Thinking back on his life, he wondered if he thought the same of himself now as he would if he'd had a different life. As he stared at the scenery passing by, memories came back.

Little boy, 6 years old
A little too used to being' alone.
Another new name and town, another school,
another house that'll never be home.
When people ask him how he likes this place...
He looks up and says, with a smile upon his face,

He knew this was his story.

Always changing lives.

49 Identities in 18 years.

Lavi knew this was a broken life. A messed up, unorthodox life. He felt it in his heart that this was wrong and yet he knew there was no way out and he began to remind himself of that sad truth.

Unaware that his comrades were awaking he said,

"This is my temporary home
It's not where I belong.
Windows and rooms that I'm passing' through.
This is just a stop, on the way to where I'm going.
I'm not afraid because I know this is my
Temporary Home."

The train stopped and the Exorcists went to work, but Lavi stared out from beneath his red hair and wondered. 'What am I doing?'

He had never quite been so sure that he wanted to give up in his life. The sudden realization that he would have to leave again, it bothered him.

Because he knew he'd have to leave soon.

Young man on his own.
Needs a little help, soon he'll have to go.
He's looking' for a life, looking' for a way out,
because a Bookman will never have a true home.
At night he whispers to no one at all,
"I'll never find my place here in this world."

As he fought with the other exorcists against the attacks, Lavi felt a pang of guilt every time he didn't just let himself jump in front of the Akuma asking them to kill him.

As he was in the heat of battle he cried out.

"This was my temporary home!"

He destroyed one of the Akuma attacking him.

"It was not where I belonged!"

Another five Akuma were destroyed.

"Windows and rooms that I'm passing' through."

Twenty more.

"This was just a stop, on the way to where I'm going."

Another Forty-five.

"I'm not afraid because I know"

Yet another 50.

"This was my Temporary Home."

When he was finished fighting he got the word from the other survivors, and Lavi began to cry.

Now there was no escape.

"Panda!" he screamed, running into the infirmary.

Old man, hospital bed,
the room is filled with people he'd known.
And he whispers "don't cry for me,
I'll see you all someday."
He looks up and says, "I can see God's face."

Lavi was begging inside that he was being dramatic.

He didn't want the old Panda to die.

If he did than that meant Lavi would be trapped in the role of emotionless Bookman forever.

As if reading Lavi's mind Bookman said his last words.

"This is your temporary Home
it's not where you belong.
Windows and rooms that you're passing' through.
This was just a stop, on the way to where you're going.
Don't be afraid because you know...

This wasyour temporary home."

After Bookman was dead and gone…nothing more than a pile of ash, Lavi no longer cried.

He finally felt anything at all, and it was all over because after all the Order was nothing to a bookman aside from a history that needed recording.

And he packed his bags and left without as much as good-bye.

Because…

That was his temporary home.