*~*~*Misery*~*~*

By

AddienaRoxUnlessYourFang

Disclaimer: I, Addiena, own nothing at all. Not even the annoying Characters I've taken hostage in my attic. Anyway here's Misery.

Misery.

That's in their eyes as they watch you walk away.

The Feeling in you're…

Well…

The feeling you have as you do…

Because you don't have a heart.

Do you?

You can't possibly,

You ARE walking AWAY after all.

You can't have a heart and still walk AWAY from these miserable people.

No.

That's wrong, too.

Not MISTERABLE people.

Good people.

Kind people.

Loving people.

Soon to be forgotten people.

Not miserable people.

Amazing people that you're making miserable…

By WALKING AWAY.

But that's not really you.

Is it?
That's not really you because you were Deke, Eric, Marshall and the Bookmen know who else first.

No.

That's not YOU walking away from these people who are miserable at the thought of you leaving.

That's just Lavi.

It's just the person they think you are…

Or THOUGHT you WERE.

That's the person they're really going to miss.

That's who they really see walking away,

The one who's really that misery in their eyes.

It's Lavi.

It's just another fake you walking away from another home.

Another family.

Life.

Story.

Comrade.

Best friend.

Name.

But that's you're Secret History…

Isn't it?

Misery.

That's what they'll remember most about you.

Or Lavi.

Or whoever you are.

Or were.

They'll remember how you walked out of their lives…

How you WALKED AWAY looking completely miserable.

That's what they'll remember

More than your laugh.

Your smile.

That fun loving way you went about doing things.

That playfully devious look in your eyes.

The way you did whatever would annoy them most…

As if having you leave would be made easier by it.

The effortless way you would fight.

No.

That's not what they'll remember.

They'll remember you the way you WALKED OUT of their lives…

In Misery.

Longing to stay.

Ready to leave.

Looking over your shoulder.

Wishing you hadn't.

Because you lock eyes with each and every one of them

And every one of them sees you how you see them…

In complete and total…

Misery.

And you hate it.

Don't you?

These people once meant something to you.

Didn't they?

Don't try to hide it.

Forget about your "training".

Is that really what you want to be?

These people are hurting.

Suffering.

Miserable.

Because of you.

Is that what you want?

To cause these people's pain?

Maybe you ARE meant to be a Bookman.

If you truly are okay with being heartless,

And causing so many people to feel this

Misery.