Too late, I'm sure. And lonely.
It's just another night, another dream wasted on you.
Finn reached room 278 in record speed, but as soon as his hand touched the door handle, he froze. He was scared. Finn Hudson was scared. He lingered (Rachel taught him that word) for a few seconds, but he heard soft whimpering from the room and burst in, causing a scream from Rachel.
"Shit! Rach, I'm sorry I scared you! Are you okay?" Rachel looked at Finn, glanced at her wrists, and burst into giant tears. Finn sat slowly on her bed, not wanting to hurt her. "Rachel… it's okay…" she just continued crying, and he couldn't take it anymore. He wrapped his arms around Rachel and pulled her onto his lap, stroking her hair.
"I'm s-sorry!" She sobbed into his chest, clinging to his shirt like if she let go, he would run. "I'm so sorry Finn!"
He pulled her as close to him as possible, slowly rubbing her back. "sshhh, it's okay Rach. It's okay Rachel you're okay." He repeated, wanting to believe it himself.
She cried for at least 20 minutes before pulling away, wiping her eyes. "Finn…" She whispered. "Why are you… why are you here?"
"I know I haven't acted like it, but I still love you Rach. You… You hurt me, a lot. But I can't lose you. This, today, It made me realize that I can't live without you. I wouldn't ever want too." She bit her lip to keep more tears from spilling over. He loves her. She isn't alone. "I was thinking we could start over… forget what happened with Puck and Santana. I know what I did with her meant nothing."
She nodded, "Noah didn't mean anything either. I just felt you slipping away, leaning more toward Santana, and I panicked. Last time we broke up, it was seeing me with Jesse that made you come back. I wasn't rational, and I just did it. Please forgive me Finn." He took both of her hands in one of his.
"I forgive you for that, Rachel." He turned over her hands to reveal the scarlet scars on her wrists. Her breath caught in the back of her throat. "you have to swear to me that you'll never do this again." He traced a finger along the jagged line, trying not to cry.
She nodded. "I w-won't do it again." She whispered, staring at him. He softly kissed each scar, then looked up at Rachel. His eyes were filled with tears, as were hers.
"I can… I can't lose you Rachel." His voice cracked.
"you won't." she whispered, stronger this time. He pulled her in again, this time crying himself. Her hair, her smell, her voice. Everything was so her and he had missed it so much.
~forever could see us, not you and me~
Kurt came in after Finn cleaned himself and Rachel up. "Rachel Barbra Berry!" he stormed up to her bed.
"Kurt…"
"You have caused me so much emotional damage! What the hell were you thinking?"
"I wasn't. I just… I thought no one loved me. I thought I was all alone." She stole a quick glance at Finn who was looking down guiltily. She didn't blame him for what she did. He had the right to break up with her when he did, and she made the decision to use the knife.
"You are never alone." Kurt sat on the end of the bed, grabbing one of her hands. "Even if everyone hurts you-" he glared at Finn, "I'm still here." She nodded sadly.
"I know that now. Thank you. But, this isn't Finn's fault." Finn looked up from his chair. "I made a mistake, and he had the right to break up with me. And I made the conscious decision to do this, which has nothing to do with either of you. It's no ones fault but my own."
"Don't say that Rachel! You know Santana and Puck and Quinn aren't the most innocent. They treated you like shit. You can't say this is just your fault because it's not." Finn looked right into Rachel's eyes.
"Finn. I took the knife. I did this. Their actions may have led to mine, but in the end, I'm the one who made the final decision." She started back at him with equal intensity.
"I don't want to hear that Rachel! If they had been nice to you, you never would have done what you did. I know that you chose to hurt yourself, but you can't say that this is all your fault, because it's not. You mean the world to me and you aren't taking the fall for this alone." He wasn't backing down.
"okaaaay." Kurt clapped his hands, breaking the stare between them. "This is over, you two. Rachel did what she did for certain reasons-" he snuck in another glare at Finn, "and it's over."
"I'm sorry Rach." Finn smiled slightly, trying to make her feel better.
"It's fine Finn, I'm sorry too." She smiled back, which lit up the whole room.
"You two are sickening. I'm glad you two are all happy together again, but lets hold back on the eye sex." Rachel giggled, which resulted in a chuckle from Finn.
And for the first time in a long time, she was happy.
Review? I love writing for this fic(: