Title: Monochroact

Rating: T

Pairing: Shizuo x Izaya (( Eventual Shizaya ))

Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara.

Plot: Because he loved them both and it was said that when you love someone you have to let them go. No matter how much it hurs.

Words: 1200+

THIS STORY CONTAINS MALExMALE RELATIONSHIPS.

- o0o S o0o H o0o I o0o Z o0o A o0o Y o0o A o0o –

This is a fic solely devoted and written for on of my favorite author RukawaGF and her/his fic called 500 Million Debt. A good fic that portrays Izaya and his pain the way as I see it. You should definitely read it. It was good. Mentions of TsugaruxIzaya, ShizuoxIzaya but Eventual Shizaya till the end.

Also written with this song in mind.

http : / / www (.) youtube (.) com/watch?v=QHEotz7ZElA

- o0o S o0o H o0o I o0o Z o0o A o0o Y o0o A o0o –

Substitute Love: The Crimson Sorrow

I saw them smiling on the park, they look so happy and so in-love with each other. I know that I should be happy for them too but I can't stop the pain from clutching my heart, tearing it apart and throwing it on the cold unforgiving ground. It hurts, so damn much that even I can't stop the tears from falling down.

*Ploc*

I wonder why he never loved me, is it because of my eyes? My smile? Or my personality? It must be because he is kind and because he doesn't taunt him like I didn't he realized? I did it for him to notice me. Because I believed one day maybe he will notice and that maybe one day his gaze will be concentrated to me. Me and not my copy.

*Ploc*

It's already too late, no mater what I do I could no longer make him love me.

"Izaya-nii! Izaya-nii! I have good news to tell you. He finally told me he loves me!" My twin, Psyche, said with a bright smile. A smile so bright that even my fake ones couldn't even par with them.

Oh how I envy you my twin, because you have what I wanted the most, But I won't hate you. I can't.

"Oh? Took the mongoloid too long to realize." I taunted the blond beside you but he seems to ignore me.

Don't you know he was staring at you with those eyes.

Those eyes who held all his love for you. Pathetic. Ah I forgot. I was just the boy friend's brother, aren't I, and also his very much hated archenemy, his rival. No big deal, right? "Do whatever you want, just care to get a room, will ya?" I told them with a smirk but inside, oh god. Inside it hurts so damn much. Damn you Shizuo for hurting me this way.

"Oh? Where are you going aniki?" Psyche, my innocent brother, asked.

I tried to smile but instead it came out as a crooked smirk.

Mocking not them but myself for my idiosyncrasy.

"Out. Don't burn the house while I'm gone." I told them as I waved off with my bag in hand and nonchalance in my movements. "Take care of Psyche, ne, Shizu-chan?" I cackled on my way out but even my supposed laugh sounded foreign- broken to my ears.

I walked the crowded streets of Ikebukuro alone, where I am heading; I don't know but what I only have in mind is to be away- to fly away- out and be gone. To where I don't know but as long as it could dull the pain then I would accept if without a second thought. Even thought the answer means the end.

*Ploc* *Ploc*

Oh rain, how I loved the rain. I wonder if the sky is sympathizing with my feelings. Don't be sky. I hate it, I feel weak. The simple drop turned into a rabid pitter-patter of harsh water rivets, covering the entire city into a wet minx, forcing innocent bystanders to find a suitable hiding place or a refuge from the harsh rain.

I probably looked pathetic right now, more pathetic than the girls who I used to break their hearts when they told me they loved me, how they cared. Is this what they feel?

Karma is such a bitch, don't you think so?

I felt the vibration of my phone. My poor soaked phone. With a sigh I took the device from it's hiding place and flipped the small thing open and instantly the name of my twin filled the screen of the small device. I suddenly felt very anxious for a reason, I had a staring duel with the message for a while. Deciding that my cowardice wouldn't bring me any good I clicked 'open' and silently read the message to myself and slowly I felt liquid- tears came off my eyes.

"Brother. Thank you for giving us the time to be with each other. And also for accepting him despite how you hated Shizuo. When will you come back?" The message said.

You don't need to add salt to the wound, brother. Can't you see I'm hurting enough already? Stop it. If you wanted him all by yourself all you could have just said so. I wouldn't be angry with you.

"Gottago aniki Shizu-" Broken message, quickly written.

They must be doing something right now.

The thought that they are doing something that should have been with me and not with him broke my heart.

The need to run away suddenly became overpowering, the next thing I knew I was dashing towards the streets, with my eyes tightly closed, as if closing them could remove the pain, the aching. I was running so fast I slipped and fell, throwing off the cellphone I was holding back in the middle of the interception behind me. I was about to leave and forget the annoying device when suddenly it rang again. On a tune reserved only for that one special person. On a tune I chose specially for him.

With trembling feet I ran or more like limped towards my forgotten phone and with shaking hands I picked it up, flipping it open once again, noticing how the fall made impact and slightly cracked the LCD but still allowing me to read the name written there.

"Shizu-chan." I murmured softly, delicately and full of love that I can't help but wonder if my love for him pars with my copy and with renewed hope I clicked 'yes' but a honk of a car halted my movements. The next thing I saw is the blinding whiteness, pain then darkness consuming me whole.

The phone I was holding abandoned, forgotten on the streets not too far away from my bloodied form, on the LCD is the picture of me and and the man who made me feel this pain, who left me this broken. The phone flashed for a while till finally it shut down.

Somewhere not to far away from the incident a man who was holding the other line was too busy expressing his hatred that he failed to notice the furious car honks and the telltale sound of some collision before the line went off.

My Heart Hurts.

- o0o S o0o H o0o I o0o Z o0o A o0o Y o0o A o0o –

I'm not sure if this fic of mine will have another part, or more like second chapter…. It depends on my mood.

Read and Review!