Logan had nothing

She has everything and he has nothing…

Logan Echolls lived with his dad in a two-bedroom apartment on the wrong side of town. But, God, he hoped for something better, something more. Someday. His mom had up and split about a year ago, his friends had turned against him a while back and Aaron… Well, Aaron wasn't the sort of dad you could count on for anything except pain but he was all Logan had. Aaron Echolls was respected in some circles, just not the coat and tie kind of circles. And Logan had stupidly stood by his father because, why? He didn't really know why. Logan was one of the most loyal people you could ever hope to meet even though no one had ever given him any solid reason to be. He was just a glutton for punishment, he guessed.

Veronica Mars lived with her dad in a veritable palace in the 90909 zip code. She was Daddy's little girl still even at age seventeen. But she was a deep thinker who wanted something more than an easy life. In fact, if it was easy, it wasn't Veronica's way. Her mom had killed herself about a year ago and Veronica mourned her every day. And she didn't understand. Were Lianne's addictions so much that they outweighed her daughter and her husband? Did nothing else matter? Lianne had never asked her to understand.

Keith Mars was pretty much father of the year, every year. Even after his wife took her own life, he just grew stronger for his daughter. That which doesn't kill you, as they say… Keith was the mayor of Neptune, California and he held the office with pride. Aaron Echolls and Keith Mars were the same age, with children the same age, but they ran with different crowds-so to speak. Aaron was a failed actor, like so many others, who could never find his goddamn way in life. After a miserable childhood and a few near chances at success, Aaron resigned himself to a beautifully tragic fate. He lived in one of the richest cities in America, working for the rich folks, surviving on the fringes. He used to live straight-he used to wait tables, cater weddings of the stars and so forth. But he wasn't cut out for it. He always thought, 'I'm better than you people are. Don't you dare go thinking that you're better than I am.' After all these years, he still had such an ego and so much misplaced pride. Instead of pride in his son and adoration for his wife, he only was happy when he himself felt on top.

Thus, Aaron's less than illustrious career had devolved into a slightly more lucrative life of crime.

"Logan, look alive!" Aaron leaned inside the open passenger side window of his old beater Chrysler and urgently snapped the fingers of his left hand a few inches away from his son's face. Logan noticed his dad wasn't wearing his wedding ring anymore. Maybe he had pawned it, though God knows it wasn't worth much, Logan thought.

"Sorry, Dad." Aaron huffed and ran off with his pistol (not a euphemism). Logan sighed. He was sixteen, nearly an adult, and he was still letting his father bully him around. How much longer was he going to sit lookout for this man-this man he didn't even really like, despite their biological relation? Maybe because he knew how dangerous his dad was, even though as his son he had only seen the tip of the iceberg. Logan suspected his dad was a murderer, maybe a rapist, definitely a thief. He had seen Aaron steal cars, rob people blind, beat people up. Logan had lived through beatings at his father's hand-too many to fucking count. Thank God his dad wasn't home that much or the count would probably be astronomically high. It wasn't even necessarily that Aaron hated his son-more that his temper knew no bounds and Logan was often the one nearby. Aaron probably loved Logan more than he loved anyone else in the world-it was just that he didn't love anyone else in the world so this wasn't saying much. If Logan hadn't done anything wrong, Aaron would make something up that his kid deserved to be beaten for.

Logan's mom, Lynn, never tried to protect him from getting hit-at least not since Logan was a little boy. Ironically, since Lynn had taken off, things had actually gotten slightly better between father and son. The beatings were fewer and farther between, the odd slap here or there, it was almost like it was just Aaron and Logan against the world. How sick was that? Logan's only ally was his bastard of a father. His crazy psycho bastard of a father but still, Logan was almost big enough to take him on. Maybe that was what was giving Aaron pause. And Logan tried not to piss his father off… Well, no, that was just a lie that Logan told himself. He went out of his way to piss Aaron off sometimes, but did that justify anything? His dad was still an asshole. When Logan wasn't trying to push Aaron's buttons, he was pretty much quivering in a silent state of abject fear around him. And really, if your dad was a total dickhead, wouldn't you try to get under his skin too? A year and a half, Logan told himself. A year and a half and I'll be free. If Logan could say one good thing about his dad, at least the man had taught him how to throw a punch and take a punch-and had given him a preternaturally high tolerance for alcohol. Oh wait, maybe that was from his mom's side…

Logan was sick of being poor in the same way that Veronica was sick of having everything handed to her. As the mayor's daughter (and not just any mayor but a beloved mayor), she got things for free more often than not. Her good looks weren't hurting her too much either. Veronica was adorable like a pixie-a pixie with sharp, sharp edges. Before her mom died, Veronica had lived such a charmed life. No pain, no heartache, hell even her grandparents were all still alive. And now… She saw the pity in people's eyes when she passed them on the street and she despised them for it. Her mom was sick and it wasn't her fault but life goes on… It's just that everybody in Neptune knew the mayor's daughter. No one in town could look at her and not see what had happened. She felt people's sympathies screaming through her head whenever she went out in public and it was like she couldn't get a moment's rest. In a way, Veronica had wanted a harder life but not in this way. She missed her mother so much just thinking of Lianne made her breath hitch. Veronica was anxious all the time but couldn't dare show that to her dad. Keith was amazing, he was more than enough for two parents-if that made any sense. She didn't want to hurt him any more than he was surely hurting deep inside.

'Your mom is sick.' That's what Keith would always say, even when Lianne was alive. It's a disease like any other. And Veronica truly believed it. It wasn't easy to quit, her mom had said. And Veronica agreed. She knew it wasn't. Lianne wasn't a bad mother; Lianne was just bad to herself. She would get manic and alcohol would quiet her thoughts. Of course, Lianne would also get depressed and then pile the alcohol on top of that too. That was probably the emotional state she was in when she killed herself, Veronica reasoned. Suicide wasn't cowardice, Veronica decided, it just sometimes felt like something you had to do. Sometimes you just got tired of waking up, you know? And death stopped seeming like the worst of all evils. If only Lianne could have held on for one more night, maybe those feelings would have passed, maybe her daughter could have gotten her through it… Maybe.

Logan awoke to the sensation of being backhanded across the face. Oh good, his father was back and Logan had dosed off in the car while sitting lookout. Aaron snarled at him about falling asleep but Logan didn't even know why he was on this trip. Aaron had been inside the bar for what seemed like forever and when he finally came out there was no urgency, no hollering, "Logan, drive!" None of that shit. And he wasn't carrying any loot. He was swaggering like a man who had just made a deal with the Fitzpatricks, which is probably exactly what he was. Logan wiped the blood from his mouth and stared at his father, who was now sitting in the driver's seat and seemed pretty elated all things considered.

"You'll never believe what the fuck happened in there, kid." Aaron shifted the car into first gear. Logan sleepily raised his eyebrows and squinted at Aaron through the setting sun. I bet I will, he thought to himself. And I won't be anywhere near as damn excited as you are. Out loud, he said nothing because Aaron would have probably hit him again for that and his dad was hardly ever looking for a response from him except when things got scary quiet. And then nothing Logan said could make anything any better so there wasn't really any point in trying.

Duncan, Lilly, and Veronica sauntered up the steps of Neptune High three in a row. Lilly was effervescently beautiful, Logan decided as he looked at her from afar. Lilly had that kind of energy that made everyone want to be around her, even if she wasn't being that nice to them. But she would never date a guy like him. He was too young, too poor, from too disgraced a family and, frankly, he was still not exciting enough for her. Maybe if somehow his family could get even more disgraced Lilly would be attracted to the danger… But really, ever since his dad had turned to a life of crime (or since people had realized Aaron had turned to a life of crime, which didn't take too long since Logan's dad could be a fucking pompous braggart idiot sometimes), nobody wanted anything to do with Logan-not his mother, not his former best friend Duncan, not even the mayor's daughter. But he guessed that made sense. Still he missed going over to Duncan and Lilly's mansion and seeing how the other half lived. The Kane family never used to judge him but they did show him charity on more than one occasion… Until Aaron found out and told Jake Kane where he could stick his software billions. And beat Logan's back with a belt until he bled. Logan always went back to school the next day after a beating as though nothing had happened. He wasn't sure what he was more afraid of-his father finally snapping and killing him one day or people's reactions if they ever found out. If people believed him, which they probably would knowing his dad's reputation. Pity was something Logan couldn't abide. In fact, fuck the Kane's charity. It wasn't Logan's fault he wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth, so why should he feel embarrassed about that? Still, Lilly Kane was so fucking hot…

Veronica watched Logan watching Lilly and sighed. Duncan's parents had long since forbid him from hanging out with Logan due to his father's, erm, activities and Duncan was nothing if not an obedient son. 'Think of the way things would look, son.' Lilly was the farthest thing on Earth from obedient but she just didn't give enough of a damn about Logan to bother fighting with her mother over the situation. Lilly had a million and one other ways to defy her mother, starting with her dalliance with a diminutive Latino gang member. Veronica's dad had never told her she couldn't hang out with Logan; Keith understood Logan's father's faults were not his own. He had warned his daughter, though, Aaron Echolls is dangerous. There is nothing quite so dangerous as a desperate, amoral, and egotistical man. Veronica had been trying to stick by Duncan's side when he had stopped hanging out with Logan. After all, they were dating back then. But now she and Duncan were just friends (his decision) and she could see how haunted Logan's eyes looked, even from far away. She was thisclose to saying fuck it but there was still something making her hold back. What was it about Logan Echolls that put a lump in Veronica Mars' throat? Well, fuck it.

"Um, Logan…" She stealthily approached. He whipped his head around and glared at Veronica. He hadn't even heard her arrive until her breath was in his ear. Logan couldn't fucking help it. She was part of the reason that he felt so alone. He turned back around and kept walking. "Logan, c'mon, don't you even care?"

"I sometimes care; I often don't."

"Logan, just talk to me. I feel bad, ok?"

"You feel bad?"

"Badly?" She suggested, mistaking his skepticism at her apology for grammar correction.

Logan actually laughed out loud. "Like I fucking know which one it's supposed to be." Bad grades on tests never got Logan into any trouble; nobody gave a shit so neither did he. Veronica gave in to a slight smile, almost against her own damn will. If there was one thing she always liked about Logan, it was his down home charm. And the fact that he could admit when he knew he was wrong, unlike so many others.

"I'm sorry, Logan. This past year's been hell on me too and I was just clinging to Duncan like he was some sort of lifeboat…" Logan immediately softened. Of course, Veronica's shit was worse than his. Her mother had died, for fuck's sake. Logan glanced around at the empty quad. Class had started several minutes ago. If there was one thing he always liked about Veronica, it was her willingness to not play by the rules. To beg forgiveness later rather than ask permission first. That, and her hot ass.

"I'm sorry, Ronnie, I'm sure it's been hard for you. I was just blindsided right now… I always liked your mother." Logan didn't really know what to say. His mom was gone, but she wasn't dead. That he knew of, at least. Jesus. Surely he could find her if he really felt like it someday. Veronica could help, even. She was sort of an amateur sleuth, which her father fully encouraged and supported.

"I know," she said softly, mentally punching herself to keep her light blue eyes from tearing up. "I always liked her too." And that was just about that saddest fucking thing Logan Echolls had ever heard-in a lifetime of sad things. Without warning, he took two steps forward and enveloped tiny little Veronica in his arms. She cried out in surprise at first but then gave into the hug. Duncan watched it all from his second floor classroom window but he was too doped up on high levels of SSRIs to truly care. Duncan had always felt all alone inside, even as a kid and even when surrounded by people (which he usually was). The only emotion he had ever felt was anger, and the antidepressants helped with that. Anything to take his mind off his mind… His mother agreed. If only Celeste Kane could get Lilly to see things her way and finally have the perfect little Stepford children she'd always wanted. If she'd actually wanted children and, let's get real, Celeste was never cut out to be a mom.

"Hi, Dad, um, you remember Logan?" God, Veronica, she silently scolded herself. It wasn't that long ago that Logan Echolls was swimming in their pool.

Keith looked slightly shocked to see the brown-eyed boy sitting in their living room but he recovered smoothly with a grin, "Of course I do, Veronica. Logan, how've you been?"

Logan wasn't sure how to take the mayor's kind words and friendly smile. If anything, they made him shrink farther down inside himself. He had to say something, had to be polite. "Hi, Mr. Mars." There, that ought to cover it.

"How're you doing, Logan?" Shit, what was with the full-court press?

"Oh, you know, living the dream," Logan bullshitted. "How are you, sir?"

When Keith left, Veronica rubbed Logan's arm soothingly. It was the second time they'd touched in as many days but this time she initiated it. "You don't have to be scared of my dad, Logan. He's one of the good guys." And she smiled too.

"Don't take it personally, Ronnie. I'm pretty much scared of everyone's dad." He played it off like a joke but shit if she didn't look at him with some sort of morbid concern.

"How's your dad, Logan?" Fuck.

"Honestly," Logan began honestly, "we don't see each other that much. He's off doing his own thing."

"How's he handling your mom being gone?"

"By fucking a bunch of random women." 'Just like before she was gone,' Logan added to himself. He tried to smile at Veronica so she knew that this was supposed to be some sort of joke too but she just frowned expectantly.

"What," Logan sighed, his rare good mood evaporating.

Veronica hesitated but if she had something important to say she didn't say it now. "Nothing, I just worry about you is all. Always all alone…"

"Story of my life."

"I've missed you, Logan."

"I missed you too."