Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I make a profit on, any of the characters related to Stargate Atlantis. I'm simply playing in their world for a while. Also, I do not own, nor do I make a profit on, any of the Christmas carols used in this particular series of one-shots. I will include author's notes in each one-shot giving credit to the writers of those carols. Enjoy! ~lg

oOo

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light.
From now on our troubles will be out of sight.

Colonel Steven Caldwell added another ornament to the Christmas tree and let out a soft breath. "Little Christmas is right," he muttered. He turned to the box on his desk and continued his work, unwrapping a miniature glass icicle as he listened.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the Yuletide gay.
From now on our troubles will be miles away.

"More like light years," he said with a slight grin. After a moment, he let Frank Sinatra continue to sing from the tape deck on his desk as he decorated the miniature Christmas tree in front of the viewport. Outside, the blue streaks of hyperspace caused the glass ornaments to sparkle. The multicolored lights of the Christmas tree blended into the sparks.

Most didn't think of Caldwell as a friendly person. He didn't think of himself as friendly very often. But he loved the holidays. As he worked, he let his mind travel backwards in time to happier moments. Watching his children unwrap Christmas gifts. Stringing lights on the live Christmas tree. Building gingerbread houses that fell apart the next day. Climbing on the roof in the middle of a snowstorm because one string of lights wasn't working. Sneaking bites of the Christmas ham as his wife carved it for dinner. Laughing with his grown children over homemade eggnog. Something about the holidays, Christmas in particular, brought out the happier, gentler, kinder side of Steven.

Life had changed so drastically in previous years. Shortly after their youngest married, his wife discovered she had cancer. She'd fought with everything in her but had lost the fight in the end. For two years, he refused to even think about celebrating Christmas without her. She'd been the life of the holiday season. After her funeral, he joined the SGC in an attempt to find a new focus for his life. His children supported him even though he couldn't tell them exactly what he'd be doing. Never, in all that time, had he imagined that he'd actually command a starship!

Then came the dark period of his life. As host to a Goa'uld, he'd watched as his body betrayed the very people who had given him a reason to rejoin life. After his wife's death, he'd shut down. Counted the hours until retirement and his withdrawal from life. The SGC gave him duty, purpose, and opportunity. The Trust gave him literal hell. He'd never been so thankful to Sheppard as he had the day the young military commander of Atlantis had drawn the taser and shocked his symbiote into a few blissful moments of unconsciousness. His release from that snake marked a turning point in his life—one for the better.

Now, things that once seemed impossible were common place. He'd become accustomed to not understanding ninety percent of what came out of McKay's mouth. He naturally checked to see if Sheppard needed rescuing before leaving Pegasus. He knew that Ronon meant well and refused to get ticked at the Satedan for ignoring protocol or not speaking. He understood Weir's desire to save Earth, even if it meant sending the Daedalus to her doom. And he loved this ship.

But this year was different. Steven hung the last ornament on his Christmas tree and smiled at the result. It was a little thing. The tree hadn't taken up much room, and it certainly hadn't cost all that much. But it livened up his quarters. Since he'd be somewhere between Pegasus and the Milky Way on Christmas Day, he'd seen his grandkids while back on Earth. Had smiled as they showed him crayon drawings of their Christmas tree. Somehow, in the midst of all that, he discovered his Christmas spirit. Before beaming back to Daedalus, he went to the local department store and purchased the miniature tree and all the trimmings. Even if he wasn't home for Christmas, he planned to celebrate in his own way. Maybe invite Major Marks and Dr. Novak to join him for dinner on Christmas Day. He might even decide he needed to stay on Atlantis and actually enjoy his time there, giving his crew some shore leave for a few days.

Steven shook his head and left his quarters, walking toward the bridge. He'd left Marks in charge for an hour while he grabbed some lunch. With his tree decorated and lunch eaten, he needed to return to work. He stepped up to his chair. "Status?"

"We're approaching the outer edge of the Milky Way," Marks commented.

"Good." Steven didn't explain his reasoning. He couldn't explain it. But he was cheerful for a change. Optimistic. Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Sinatra's song floated through his head. I think I just might do that.

oOo

Author's Note: "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" lyrics by Hugh Martin and Ralph Blane. I will be posting one-shots each day until at least Dec. 13. Each one will be focused on SGA characters, past and present. If you have a specific Christmas carol you'd like to see covered, PM me and let me know. It might show up in a future one-shot as we work our way toward Christmas Day. :) ~lg