"Yes, I do think so," Sherlock says from where he's lounging on the sofa, "Alright. Hmmm…I rather agree."

"Sorry, but…what?" John asks as he walks into the living room with his cup of steaming hot tea, a rarity in this household. "Oh. I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to the skull." Sherlock says pointing to said body part on the floor.

"Of course. Hey, I thought you didn't need to talk to it anymore, 'cause you had me," John replies as he sits back into his favourite arm chair.

"Yes, I don't know that he would either," Sherlock mutters.

"Pardon?" John calls.

"I was talking to the skull. Keep up, John!"

"Right. What wouldn't I like?" John asks cautiously. If both Sherlock and the skull don't think he'll like something, the chances are he won't. "We were discussing our marital status," Sherlock says lazily.

John looks up quickly, "You and the skull are married?"

"No, but technically you and I are," Sherlock says as he sinks back into the sofa and closes his eyes. John splutters and chokes on the one sip of tea he's managed to have. "We're not…where'd you even get the idea that we're…what?" he finishes off meekly.

"Remember when we first met and you asked me out?"

John sighs heavily, "I've already told you, it wasn't like that!"

"John."

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

When all he can hear is silence, Sherlock continues, "I said I considered myself married to my work. Well aft –" Sherlock says before he gets cut off.

"I'm not your work! Just because we work together it doesn't mean I actually am your work!" John cries, exasperated. Sherlock sighs deeply and rubs his temples. "Do stop interrupting me. Before you cut me off," he glares, "I was trying to say that after all the business with Moriarty you became my work." Sherlock holds up a slender finger to stop John speaking again, "When you stepped out at the pool in that ridiculous coat you became part of the case and as such part of my work."

"From that," John waves his hands about after putting down his now cold tea, "You got that we're married?"

"Yes. It's really quite simple."

"Hang on. You were involved in that case as well. Does that make you part of your work?" John says, sounding extremely proud of himself.

"Sherlock is married to himself?" a very feminine voice almost shrieks from the doorway. The two men look up into the face of a very startled looking Mrs Hudson. "I'm not so sure about being married to myself, but it appears I am married to Dear John, over here," Sherlock says as if he were telling someone the time. Mrs Hudson claps her hand together, "Now I'll have my own married couple to brag about!" she practically squeals with delight. She suddenly frowns, "Why didn't you tell me earlier? Or even invite me to the ceremony?"

"There wasn't a ceremony, because we're not married!" John cries out, "We haven't even been on a date!"

Mrs Hudson's eyes widen, "You haven't? What about all the times you've been out to dinner? John, you don't have to pretend for me!"

"That was just eating out!" John replies.

"She's right, John. Social convention says we've been dating for a while now. In fact, we've been on enough dates to get married," Sherlock grins over to John.

John huffs, "Bloody social convention!"

"I'm a bit confused now. Are you two actually married?" Mrs Hudson asks.

"No!" John says at the same time Sherlock smiles, "Yes."

John glares at Sherlock for a minute before asking, "Is that why you never correct people if they assume we're dating?"

"Yes, because I thought you knew we were," Sherlock says eyes wandering slowly around the room before landing on John. John shivers under the other man's gaze and asks slowly, "Sherlock…do you want us to be dating?"

John gets up from the arm chair, not breaking eye contact with Sherlock, and walks over to the sofa. Sherlock sits up and asks, "Do you want us to be dating?"

John nods and kisses Sherlock chastely on the lips. Behind them Mrs Hudson cheers. Mortified, John turns around and faces the enthusiastic older woman. She's grinning from ear to ear. "I'll book ahead at Angelo's for you," she says going towards the direction of the phone. Sherlock and John smile at Mrs Hudson and kiss again.

Later on, in the evening Mrs Hudson watches Sherlock and John leave for their first official date. She hears a beep from her new mobile.

Our plan worked excellently.
Give the skull my thanks.
SH

Mrs Hudson grins happily at the skull and can't help, but think that she really does agree.