A/N: Okay, when the last chapter of the Facebook chronicles ended, the McKinley Marauders were planning on a surprise performance of "Double, Double, Toil and Trouble" to freak out Mr. Schue. Let us see where this plan takes them... :D
Kurt Hummel: Okay, just finished the musical arrangements for "Double, Double, Toil and Trouble"! I'll pass them around at school tomorrow.
— Sam Evans: Wait, what's going on?
— Quinn Fabray: You don't really pay attention to this stuff, do you?
— Sam Evans: Uhhh…
— Kurt Hummel: *facepalm* Okay, I'm pretty sure even Britt's more up-to-date on this than you are.
— Brittany Pierce: I know that we're doing a surprise witching song to freak out Professor Flitwick, but I don't see what calendars have to do with it.
Finn Hudson — Kurt Hummel: Did you really have to cast me and Puck as the giant toads in this song?
— Kurt Hummel: Yes.
— (Blaine Morgan, Santana Lopez, and 8 others like this.)
— Blaine Morgan: I just laughed and my latte decided to come out my nose. The other Lima Bean patrons are giving me looks.
Lauren Zizes: The choir room is wired and ready to go for Operation "Leaky Cauldron."
— Blaine Morgan: I cannot WAIT to see the footage from this!
— Lauren Zizes: I'm hoping we startle Flitwick enough to make him trip and fall over.
— Noah Puckerman: I love you.
— Lauren Zizes: Shut the hell up and go butter the floor.
Rachel Berry — Tina Cohen-Chang: I don't supposed that you have any cauldrons/brooms/other witchcraft-y type props that we could use for "Double, Double"?
— Tina Cohen-Chang: Okay, we've been through this at least eighteen times before, but I'll go through it this one last time. JUST BECAUSE I WEAR BLACK CLOTHES DOES NOT MEAN THAT I AM A WITCH.
— Rachel Berry: I never said you were!
— Mike Chang: Better back off now, Berry. Tina's always armed with safety pins.
— Rachel Berry: She is?
— Mike Chang: I learned that one the hard way.
— Artie Abrams: Uh-oh. Do we want to know the story behind this?
— Mike Chang: No. You REALLY don't.
— (Tina Cohen-Chang likes this.)
Noah Puckerman: OPERATION "LEAKY CAULDRON" IS OFFICIALLY A GO.
— Kurt Hummel: WHY ARE YOU YELLING?
Mercedes Jones: Three hours after Glee practice and I'm still laughing my ass off. My mom already thinks I need a straitjacket.
— Kurt Hummel: I'm still in shock that the number went off without a hitch! I was expecting Coach Umbridge to sweep into the classroom and cut us off with an ill-timed "Ahem."
— Mercedes Jones: That mental picture just restarted the laughing fits. Thanks a lot. My lungs are so sore at this point, I won't be able to sing for another three days.
— Blaine Morgan: SOMEONE SEND ME FOOTAGE ALREADY.
— Lauren Zizes: Hold your ponies, Hobbit.
— (Kurt Hummel likes this.)
Blaine Morgan: Note to self – don't watch a potentially hilarious video on your iPhone while drinking coffee in a public place. Not only will the looks you get be embarrassing enough, but the coffee that you are trying to get out of your lungs will inevitably end up on your phone. At this point, I'm pretty sure that the Lima Bean manager is considering banning me for life because I'm scaring the other customers.
— Kurt Hummel: I take it you liked our performance, then? :)
— Blaine Morgan: I don't think the buttered floor was such a good idea – since Flitwick fell down before you got started on the song, he kind of knew that something was up.
— Kurt Hummel: Pssh. He thought it was a prank from Coach Umbridge. It was still funny as hell.
— Blaine Morgan: This is true. But next time, go with a Bat Bogey Hex ;)
Mike Chang: Okay, I need a framed photo of the look on Flitwick's face when we suddenly stood up and started singing in unison in the middle of his lecture on Phil Collins.
— Finn Hudson: Same here.
— Noah Puckerman: Make that three.
— Lauren Zizes: I can make copies out of a stillshot from the video I recorded.
— Noah Puckerman: This is why I love you.
— Lauren Zizes: For Mike and Finn, fifteen bucks. For Puckerman, thirty.
— Noah Puckerman: Dammit, Zizes!
Noah Puckerman: Hogwarts had better have waffles, or else I'm not going there.
— (Artie Abrams likes this.)
— Rachel Berry: I'm sure the House Elves could be persuaded to add it to the menu, Noah.
— Artie Abrams: I think the House Elves are there to do what they're told. They don't need persuading.
— Rachel Berry: RACIST!
— Artie Abrams: They're a different SPECIES, Rachel! Plus, I'm not making a racist comment, I'm just stating the obvious!
— Artie Abrams: …Is there a reason you're not replying?
— Artie Abrams: Hello?
— Artie Abrams: …She's headed over to my house with a baseball bat, isn't she?
— Noah Puckerman: Better roll for it, dude.
— Artie Abrams: Duly noted.
Artie Abrams: *Never* underestimate the little people.
— Rachel Berry: I'd like to think you've learned your lesson.
— Finn Hudson: Wait, did you actually beat up Artie with a baseball bat?
— Artie Abrams: Worse. A microphone stand.
— Finn Hudson: …Now I'm confused. Why is that worse than a baseball bat?
— Artie Abrams: You ever been beaten with a switch? It's like that.
— Finn Hudson: Why would I get beaten with a switch? It's attached to the wall.
— Artie Abrams: Never mind.
Santana Lopez: "Get Back To Hogwarts" is now stuck in my head, thanks to Artie Abrams .
— Artie Abrams: What? Why is that my fault?
— Santana Lopez: You were humming it ALL DAY at school yesterday!
— Artie Abrams: Okay, that's actually Sam's fault, since he was singing it before me.
— Sam Evans: What can I say? I like AVPM.
— Artie Abrams: …And yet you've never read the books.
— Sam Evans: Uh, no. Why, are they much different from AVPM?
— Santana Lopez: Oh, wow.
— Lauren Zizes: I'm ready to beat the crap out of him when you are, Lopez.
— Santana Lopez: How's tomorrow lunchtime work for you?
— Sam Evans: Wait, just last week, Lauren snapped your arm! Why are you suddenly teaming up?
— Lauren Zizes: A common enemy, Evans. That means you.
— Sam Evans: *gulps*
— Artie Abrams: Seems like you and me are both on the run, dude.
— Sam Evans: Women are scary.
— (Santana Lopez and Quinn Fabray like this.)
Mercedes Jones thinks that Sam Evans should be sent to Harry Potter boot camp.
— Sam Evans: Why does this sound vaguely threatening?
— Mercedes Jones: Because it's supposed to, dumbass. I'm seriously looking up these camps as we speak.
Sam Evans: Why is everyone out to get me?
— Santana Lopez: Because you haven't subscribed to the Hogwarts cult, Grindy Mouth.
— Sam Evans: Um… "Grindy"?
— Santana Lopez: Yes. Grindy. As in Grindylow. This is why you need to go to boot camp.
Quinn Fabray: I just realized that if Sam Evans went to Harry Potter boot camp, he could role play as Draco Malfoy! This made my day much better.
— Sam Evans: *sighs* You too, Quinn?
— Quinn Fabray: That's Mrs. Malfoy to you.
— Kurt Hummel: OH DEAR GOD.