Hidden Feelings

Summary: Chloe and Jimmy got married. Doomsday never happened. However, Lois' nightmare still came true: Lana is back. Feeling more depressed than ever, Lois tries to cope to the idea that Lana and Clark are back together. But, will she be able to keep up this charade, or will she finally admit to Clark that she's been having feelings for him all this time?

Author's Note: Takes place right after the 'almost kiss' between Lois & Clark on the S8 episode, Bride. Hopefully it's not too complicated-looking. :)

Chapter 1: Interrupted

"No way! I can't believe it! Oh my God!" Chloe exclaimed, making her way towards the door where her best friend, Lana Lang, stood. She embraced Lana for the longest time; it had been months since she last saw her. Everyone else watched as the two shared a reunion, including Lois and Clark.

Now that their magical moment has been interrupted thanks to Lana's not-so-discreet arrival, Lois quietly stepped aside and looked at Clark, whose eyes were now steadily fixed on the first girl he ever loved. She knew that she had lost him; she didn't stand a chance. No one could ever compete with Lana in Clark's eyes. Accepting her loss, Lois went outside to catch some air. It was all too much; she didn't need to see the rest of it.

The scene outside was much more peaceful. The stars were evenly spread out over the sky and the moon lit brightly over the horizon. It would've been the perfect night for Lois, but instead, it turned out to be the nightmare she wished she didn't live to see. It hurt to see that Clark was still not over Lana, but it hurt more to realize that Clark will always choose Lana over her. These past couple of months, Lois has been a good friend to Clark. She was there when Clark was left heartbroken over Lana's disappearing act, she was there helping him adjust to the hectic lifestyle at the Daily Planet, she was there for him through it all. They have gotten much closer, but Lois didn't think that she would start developing feelings for Clark. Right now, none of that mattered. She just wanted to forget it all, erase it in her memory. As she reached the front porch of the Kent home, she grabbed a bottle of wine from one of the men walking around with a tray of drinks. This ought to do the trick, she thought to herself.

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Back inside the barn, Clark met Lana's eyes. All of the hurt, all of the pain, all of the hatred he strongly felt towards her before now seemed to have melted away. His heart started beating much, much faster, not knowing what he should do. Simply, he made his way through the crowd until he was inches away from Lana, who now had a glass of wine on her hand.

"Lana." It was a name he was afraid he'd never mention again. It was hard to believe that she was here, in the flesh, standing in front of him.

"Clark, it's nice to see you. You sure look dashing in that suit," Lana replied, eyeing him up and down, followed by her traditional sweet smile.

"I didn't expect you to come to Chloe's wedding."

"Yeah, so did I. But Chloe's been my best friend all this time; I wouldn't miss this for the world. I know how much this means to her," she said, now diverting her attention to the newly married couple entertaining the other guests. She has never seen Chloe as happy as she looked now.

Clark didn't want to stall the conversation any longer. He wanted to know why Lana really came back. "Is that the only reason why you came back? Strictly to be present in Chloe's wedding?" he asked, hoping Lana understood what he meant. He needed to know the reason why she left him in the first place, and why, after all those months, she'd decided to come back as if nothing had happened.

Lana turned her head, now facing Clark. She knew this was going to happen at some point. "I came back for Chloe, Clark. That's why I'm here. I don't have to explain anything to you or to anyone else."

"No, Lana. I need answers. Reasons why you left me, and why, all of a sudden, you decided to come back. Don't you think you owe me at least that much?"

"Clark, now's not the time to discuss about us. Please, have some respect for Chloe and Jimmy."

Realizing that Lana was right, Clark decided to stop with the questions. Tonight was supposed to be Chloe and Jimmy's unforgettable night, but he made sure he wasn't going to let the night come to a close without getting any answers from Lana. As she started to walk towards the couple, Clark caught her free hand, forcing her to stop. She took one good look at her fingers tangled with Clark's, remembering what used to be. Afterwards, she met his eyes, a sign of desperation written all over them. "Can we talk about this after the reception?"

Without a word, Lana nodded her head and released her hand from Clark's. This was going to be a long night, and unfortunately for her, it was just getting started.

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"Byeeeeee!" Chloe said as she waved to the familiar faces in the crowd. A white, luxurious car has pulled up in front of the barn, with a banner reading "Just Married" on the rear window. Jimmy opened the door and guided his wife as she entered the car. They were ready to leave for their honeymoon, an event that Jimmy surprisingly planned all by himself.

"Hey CK," Jimmy said as he motioned for Clark to come closer.

"Yeah Jimmy?" he asked.

"Thanks for everything, man. For walking Chloe down the aisle, for letting us use your barn for the wedding and reception…just for everything, really."

"It's my pleasure. Besides, this is the only way I could ever repay Chloe for all the things she's done for me. Just make sure you take good care of her," he demanded.

"You got it," Jimmy replied as he patted Clark's shoulder. He waved to the other guests once again and noticed that something—or someone—is missing. He met Clark's eyes and as soon as Clark met his, he knew Jimmy was worrying about something.

"What is it?"

Jimmy scanned the crowd once again, making sure his eyes didn't deceive him. True enough, they didn't. Someone was missing. He turned to Clark, hoping he could provide some answers.

"Clark…where's Lois?"

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Lois danced around the Kent's front porch with a second bottle of wine on her hand. She never felt so free; she could feel the cool wind blowing all over her hair, the crisp scent of the night embracing her. Right at that exact moment, no one was going to rain on her parade. She was having fun; she didn't care about a thing in the world. All of that changed drastically, however, as she saw Clark's shadow slowly emerging, getting closer to where she was. She decided to ignore it and continued to dance around, giving little thought if anyone—even Clark—saw her.

"Lois? Lois!"

Clark finally found Lois dancing by herself on the front porch. He wasn't sure what was going on, but realized she was drunk as he caught a glimpse of the wine that was on her hand. He made his way on to the steps, determined to find out why out of all nights, she decided to go crazy tonight.

"Hey, Lois. What are you doing?"

"Having fun! Want to join my private party, Smallville?"

Lois moved closer to Clark, her face now inches away from his. He could smell the wine coming out of her breath, knowing that he has to help her get sober—fast. He wouldn't want anyone to see her like this, especially since most of the guests are her and Chloe's relatives. He placed his hands on Lois' shoulders, trying to get her to stop dancing.

"Lois, you're drunk. I need to take you home before you embarrass yourself in front of all these people. Here, hand me the bottle."

Lois didn't like the idea of Clark telling her what to do. Who is he to tell her to stop? Besides, he only cared about Lana. Did he even realize how hurt she was when he forgot about her existence once Lana showed up at the door? No, he had no right to make her do anything.

"You know Clark, if you didn't want to join, you could've easily said no."

Clark didn't understand why Lois was acting this way. Just earlier, she was panicking whether or not the pink napkins matched the color scheme of the tables. What happened to her? Why, all of a sudden, is she being like this?"

"Lois, why are you acting this way? Look, I think it's best if you go home and sober up. Everyone's starting to leave as well."

"You want to know why I'm acting like this, Clark? You really want to know? Are you that blind, or is your armor so thick that you don't care about anyone else's feelings other than—"

"I, uh, I'll take it from here, Clark," Oliver said, interrupting Lois mid-sentence.

Clark took one last look at Lois, who was now sitting down, the bottle still on her hand. He didn't know what was going on with her, but he wanted to help her. Even with his superpower abilities, Clark knew that he couldn't help Lois, as much as he wanted to. He felt helpless. Looking back at the crowd that was now hopping on their respective cars, Clark saw Lana. He knew this was the perfect time to finally settle what really happened between them. He turned around to check Lois again. With a concerned look, he faced Oliver.

"Make sure she'll be alright," he said as he descended down the steps, walking towards Lana.

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"Thanks for the ride home, Ollie."

Oliver's sleek European car was now parked in front of the Talon. He insisted that he should drive Lois home since she was drunk and that she could just pick up her car tomorrow in the Kent farm. He turned off the engine as Lois removed his coat.

"Feeling better? I don't want to leave you all alone here and—"

"I'll be fine," she interrupted, refusing to meet his eyes. She just wanted to go inside and be left alone.

"Tell me Lois, what was that back there? Couldn't you at least spare Chloe some humiliation on her wedding day? Think about what would've happened if Clark didn't see you there! Look, I know you have some feel—"

"Thanks for the advice, Dr. Phil, but the last thing I want right now is to hear you preach, okay? I just want to be alone, please." Lois pushed the door open with all her strength. She felt Oliver's hand touch her arm, but immediately shook it off. She didn't want to have this conversation right now, especially with a past lover. It was already awkward enough.

"Okay, fine with me," he replied, matter-of-factly.

Lois closed the door.

"But you should know, Clark's not as blind as you think he is. He's confused, that's all. He just doesn't know what he wants," Oliver blatantly said, leaving it at that to let Lois digest it in for the night. He knew she was hurting, and as much as he wanted to be there for her, there was only so much he could do.

The engine finally roared to life as Oliver twisted a little knob, turning on the headlights. Lois stood frozen with her back to him, and moments later, the car was no longer there. She made her way inside the Talon and locked it, making sure no one can give her a surprise visit.

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Already exhausted from the turnout of the night's events, Lois grabbed her cellphone from her purse and dialed Chloe's number. She didn't want her cousin to think that something was wrong, so she made sure to give a quick call to congratulate the happy couple once again. She sat on the corner of her bed and on the other line was a computerized voice asking her to leave a message. Of course, it'd go straight to voicemail, she thought to herself.

Using all of the energy she had left, Lois tried to sound as enthusiastic as she could, though she felt just the exact opposite.

"Hey cuz! Sorry to interrupt your honeymoon…well, not that you were really interrupted, you didn't even answer! Anyway, I just wanted to congratulate you once again on your wedding. I'm very, very, very happy for you and Jimmy and you both deserve to have a wonderful life. Don't worry about things back here; I have it all under control. You just enjoy your time there, wherever you are in the world, with your husband. I love you!"

With that, Lois hung up. Since she was too tired to even do anything, she didn't bother changing her clothes and crawled her way to the heart of her bed. Everything around her was quiet; it was peaceful. Everything but her mind, at least. Right now, all she could think about was Clark. She was heartbroken, and she hated herself for being so vulnerable. She had never felt so unwanted, so unloved, so...invisible.

Tears started to well up in her eyes from the overwhelming emotion that came over her. She tried to forget about what had happened, but she knew deep down that running away from it wasn't going to do anything. But then again, there was nothing much she could do. Clark loved Lana. He never stopped loving her even after she left, as much as Lois hated to admit it. She was it for him. Easy as that.

Feeling hopeless and defeated, Lois pulled the sheets over her head and cried endlessly, hoping the following day she'd forget ever admitting to herself that she loved Clark. It was less complicated that way.

Author's Note: Before anything else, thank you for taking some of your precious time to read it! I'm aware that many others have written their own renditions to the 'almost kiss' dilemma (trust me, I've read them myself!), but everyone sure deserves a chance to take a stab at it, right? I was actually watching this particular episode the other day, and it inspired me to write this. Thanks again!