The rain pattered against the windows. The sound was slightly soothing to the dark-haired brunette. Although her eyes were void of any traces of emotion, her head was leaning against the pane quite comfortably. No one can take her away from her moment of solace.

"Duncan? Who's Duncan?"

"Courtney, Duncan isn't here. He didn't once visit you during your … state."

A flicker of emotion appeared in her gray eyes — its color matched the beholder's feelings — and as soon as the emotion began traveling speedily into her caged heart, she shut her eyes close. She attempted to focus on the sounds of her solace with struggle.

Courtney considered her mother many things. Her mother was hardworking, stern, cold, intelligent, neat, determined, stubborn, and, most of all, slightly stoic. Her upbringing had resulted in all those aspects.

One aspect Courtney didn't think was possible was that her mother was a liar.

At least she was here — unlike her dear father who apparently couldn't make it because "work was getting intense" at his business trip in New York.

"I was just talking to him earlier! He needs me right now! Why am I here?! Where is he?!"

"Mrs. Simmons, is this Duncan fellow a friend of your daughter's?"

"She dated him once, a terrible mistake on her part. He's nothing worth mentioning. Perhaps his presence in her mind caused the long duration of her comatose state. Courtney, you have to calm down. Duncan isn't here."

"He was just right here with me! Did you guys take him away?! He wasn't ready to leave! It wasn't his fault!"

Once she reopened her eyes, she soon took focus on one trail of rain sliding down the window. It was at the same pace as the tear sliding down her right cheek.

A knock came at the door.

"Courtney? Honey?" her mother called out quietly.

No reply, but she quickly wiped away her vulnerability.

From her peripheral vision, she could see her mother carrying a tray. There was a plate on it filled with assortments of fruit slices such as apples, cantaloupes, and oranges. Next to the plate was a book.

No matter what Courtney's state was, physically or mentally, her mother would always expect her to brush up on her knowledge. If it was any other day, any other time, any other place, she wouldn't be complaining. Couldn't her mother understand that she wanted to be left alone with the pattering rain?

"You need to bulk up on your vitamins. Once the rain clears up, I expect you to — I mean, it's highly recommended that you start getting active. Take a walk in the nearby park. You've been a vegetable for a long time; your body needs some energy bustling in it, don't you agree?" her mother immediately chattered on. Courtney took notice of her slip-up and thought it was unnecessary to amend it. Even if she switched around her words to make it seem like she was truly concerned for her well-being, there would always be that tone underlying her every word that showed she was ordering her.

Maybe it was her imagination. Duncan was, so they say. It shouldn't be surprising.

As soon as Courtney woke up, disoriented and nauseated, she began frantically searching for Duncan. She wouldn't stop asking Dr. Ramirez, Nurse Cindy, her mom, and hell, even herself regarding his whereabouts.

And so because of that, Dr. Ramirez proposed that Courtney would see a psychologist. The minute that proposal exited his mouth, Samantha refused with a resolute voice. Her daughter wasn't insane. She merely woke up feeling confused as do most comatose patients would. Courtney's dream was most likely so vivid and realistic that she woke up as if she were seriously experiencing it.

A dream. An imagination. A false reality. An alternate universe.

Courtney did believe Duncan wasn't real at times or her life with him wasn't real. She never thought that someone like him would enter her life. She always had a set plan for her future, and she intended to make sure it would follow through.

Duncan was a disaster by nature. Of course he would go and ruin every single detail in all her plans.

(And she could've stopped him. She could've stopped the oncoming disaster, ready to wreck all the hard work she had done in creating this plan of hers, but she didn't. She accepted it without hesitation, something she wasn't aware of or wouldn't dare admit.)

She was so lost in her thoughts she wasn't aware that the pattering ceased.

She decided to go to the park.

It wasn't because her mother told her to. Right now, she refused to listen to all her "advice," because frankly, she was tired of her constant bullshit. She didn't believe the sudden transformation her mother suddenly possessed. Even if whatever her mother decided for Courtney was for her own benefit, it would mainly be for her mother's instead.

No, she wanted to go to the park, because she wanted to get away from all the memories she had with Duncan in her own bedroom. There were too many memories her bedroom contained. Before her accident, Courtney managed to kick away all the memories that would hit her like a blast. She created a barrier from all things Duncan. But now, it was increasingly difficult.

Her dresser bothered her the most.

loneliness was eased by his touch

It was her birthday.

The thought just came to her as she walked aimlessly in the park. She usually spent her birthdays alone, which wasn't her fault because she would sometimes forget and remember at the most inconvenient moments. Her parents would wish her a happy birthday through text or, rarely, face-to-face — something that she didn't particularly like because it was awkward and forced.

When Duncan greeted her a happy birthday that one time, it was one of the moments when she forgot.

"Happy Birthday, Princess," Duncan greeted as soon as his face showed up on the video chat.

Courtney gasped. "I — I completely forgot," she said in disbelief. It shouldn't be a surprise, but it was kind of a letdown forgetting your own birthday. Her mind was running amuck today.

Her criminal gave her an incredulous look. "You forgot your own birthday? Shouldn't you be pampering yourself with, I don't know, homework?" he teased.

"Shut up. I was busy today."

"Yeah, with homework."

"No!"

He let out a smirk. She hated the fact that he knew her to the core. "Then just what were you busy with?"

"I was … I was busy with student body — "

Duncan made a sound of disgust. "That's even worse. Babe, it's your freakin' birthday. Today's all about you. You spent a majority of your birthday doing school shit." He gave her a disapproving look.

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Well, sorry for not living up to your expectations. As a matter of fact, my parents are going to take me out to an extravagant dinner in about three hours. We're just waiting for Daddy," she informed him.

He raised his unibrow. "If you were so amped about this dinner, shouldn't you be getting ready by now?"

She rolled her eyes. "The dinner's in three hours, Duncan."

"And did that ever stop you? Courtney, you're a geek about being early. By now, you should be blow drying your hair."

It was annoying on how he was pressing onto it, but, God, she loved how he knew her so much. "My mother is sleeping right now; I don't want to wake her with my noise," she lied.

"Uh-huh, okay." The smirk reappeared, sending chills down her spine. "Now, where's the birthday striptease?"

"Excuse me?"

"It should be easy since you're wearing those tank tops that have some sort of built-in bra, right? I can tell, 'cause your boobs look like they're hanging a bit." He grinned lecherously. "I don't mind."

Courtney was suddenly all too aware of the fact that she was indeed wearing that type of tank top and that Duncan was shirtless. Her dark eyes caught sight of his defined muscular stature.

"My quality may be shitty, but I can tell you're blushing."

"I'm — I'm not! Quit being so obscene!"

"Aw, but you love me for it, don't ya?

Yes, she did, in the most strangest of ways.

She shook her head, removing the memory much to her avail.

Her comatose dream hurt her. It really hurt her. Did she conjure up this dream as a message for herself? It was probably a way for her to understand what was going on with her relationship with Duncan. She didn't understand him, or she didn't bring herself to understand him.

The reason why was because Courtney never made sense to Duncan. So, whenever, he would attempt to try to make sense of her, she would become even more nonsensical. She was an unreasonable brat — she was fully aware of that fact. It was hard for her to accept people into her life, because she was used to being alone what with being brought up by workaholic parents (which, in itself, was an irony). It was hard for her to make friends, because she could be straightforward and tended to come off as snotty. She considered herself as a wise, young woman since she was forced to become independent, and so she thought she was above everyone else with the mindset that nobody was going through what she was and nobody would understand.

Duncan understood. He did. Courtney prevented him from understanding in the most unconscious and conscious of ways by shutting herself away. No, she didn't run. She merely made it harder for him. She never liked her vulnerable side being prodded at. She was afraid of him, because he easily understood her. And he wanted to understand her more.

The situation with Gwen made Duncan want to her understand her more. She could now see that. Why in the world was dear old Courtney acting like a harpy bitch concerning his "non-existent relationship" with the freaky Goth girl?

Obviously Gwen had much more in common with Duncan. She made him smile and laugh more. His face would brighten up at the sight of her. Courtney could see that their relationship was so simple and easy.

Duncan soon found that out.

Courtney's darkest nightmare came true, and she shut herself completely.

She did try to fix their broken relationship. She even used tactics she knew were ridiculous and a complete failure. It was because of her love and desperation. She couldn't think straight. She couldn't communicate. Duncan always messed with her mind. And the fact that he started growing distant and stopped trying to understand her worsened it.

It was her fault. Their downfall was mostly her fault, but he was the one who completed the fall. She started it, and he finished it. That was how it ended.

It's not fair, though, she thought angrily. Why? Why did he do it?

She could come up with so many theories, but she wanted the answer. The answer could only come from him. He wouldn't even give her that answer. It haunted her day and night.

She began trying to understand him just like he did before. So this was how it must have felt for him.

Courtney looked up and stopped walking. She was so consumed in her thoughts; she failed to notice the tree in front of her. She cursed herself and turned to the right, trekking down the pathway yet again with no sense of direction.

Once she continued that trek, her line of sight cleared up more and her dark eyes spotted something she wouldn't dare believe to be reality.

There he was, walking down the park with his hands in the pockets of his jacket. He wasn't that far away, but he wouldn't be able to notice her with the playground set partially blocking her. She noticed he got bigger muscular-wise and … taller? She had his profile memorized so well; it wasn't hard to pinpoint the changes.

Unfortunately she didn't have the luxury of that gift/curse when it came to his thoughts.

But yes, there he was. The answer that had the answer to all her problems.

The longing and desperation of seeing him again compelled her to walk towards him. She didn't care that he hated her right now and that he was most likely still with Gwen. She didn't care that she looked like an absolute wreck — even though she didn't look in the mirror for a while, but she had a feeling what was going on inwardly matched her appearance. She didn't care that there might be a random paparazzi nearby or an insensitive fan that would harass them and tarnish their reputations more.

She just … needed to talk to him.

She needed that closure. She needed answers.

Courtney was only a few steps behind him. She could easily say his name and he would hear her since she's within hearing distance. Her hesitation held her back.

No, not her hesitation. Her insecurity. Her fright.

He began speaking in an angry tone, "No, I'm not Duncan from Total Drama fuckin' Island, so quit — " His teal eyes widened at the sight of her.

Yes, this was her Duncan. Or not her Duncan. But this was the Duncan she grew to love and hate at the same time. His eyes held the same mischief, mysteriousness, and caution. He had that familiar tense stature; it was most likely caused by her presence instead of his natural itch at running immediately at the sense of danger or conflict.

Oh. That's right, Courtney thought, blatantly staring at her ex-boyfriend. Duncan's so used to running away. He always runs away from his strained relationship with his father. He runs away from his future. He runs away from anything that doesn't make sense to him — our relationship.

His eyes then hardened, the teal losing its once beautiful shine.

I never made sense to him.

"I was hoping I wouldn't run into any more crazed fans, but guess I got something worse," Duncan said stonily. Quickly, he appraised her appearance, and his eyebrows furrowed a little bit.

Eyebrows? What happened to the unibrow?

She finally managed to get words to come out of her mouth. "Y-You're here," she said softly. Or was it her imagination yet again?

His eyebrows furrowed even more. She was acting completely uncharacteristic. It was apparent to him, as well. There should be an intense altercation between the two of them by now with heated tongues and icy words.

Things were different, though.

She was anyways.

Since she was acting completely different, in turn, he started as well. Once one began doing the unpredictable, the other would do the same. They were both used to predicting the other's actions. They knew each other so well, so it was natural for them.

And so — "You look like shit," he bluntly stated.

She shrugged. "Was in a coma for a few weeks, give or take," she answered conversationally.

"You're bullshitting, right?"

Everything is bullshit, Duncan. Ever since she was forcibly taken out of her imagination, nothing made sense. Perhaps the fact that she never made sense to him caused her nonsensical self to spread to her world.

The tone of his voice proved how much he despised her even though the conversation was somewhat "casual" in a sense. She didn't know what to feel. The numbness was itching to come back, but he never failed to make her feel.

"I was discharged from the hospital three days ago, Duncan." Saying his name in front of the real Duncan and after a while — she only said it mentally — was difficult. Her tongue felt like cotton.

He was unconvinced.

The familiar fire began sparking in her being. What, did he think that she was desperate for his attention so much that she would lie about her well-being?

"It happened on school grounds. I was carrying a box of files down the stairs, and I fell." But why on earth was she trying to explain herself? There was nothing to prove. He didn't care.

She realized he was staring through her eyes once he averted his attention away. "Your fault," he merely said.

"Of course it was," she snapped, starting to get irritable. Although she was still suffering mentally and physically — her lack of activity was beginning to take its toll on her — no matter what, Duncan wouldn't fail at riling her up.

He rolled his eyes just like he would do all the time whenever she would nag. He let out a heavy breath and began walking away.

Or running away. "Why are you here?"

Maybe it was because her tone got softer. Maybe it was because her exhaustion was creeping into her tone. Maybe it was because he actually acquired decency over the past few months.

He turned around and gave her the time of day.

"We moved. There was a shortage at the police department around here, so the 'rents decided to move. Peachy, huh?" he said bitterly. He made it sound so simple. Must be because of his simple relationship with Gwen.

A cool breeze whooshed past them. Automatically, she wrapped her cardigan around her. She shouldn't have picked a light one. The air was still heavy with humidity, and she had a feeling another batch of rain was to come.

She should hurry on home to hear her solace again.

"So that means — ," she was rudely interrupted.

"Yeah. Don't worry, sweetheart, I'll make sure to stay out of your way. Believe me, it'll be my pleasure." She wanted to rip off that sneering face of his as well as run away from it. Guess his knack for running away was starting to rub off on her.

Strange. The attributes they hated the most about each other was starting to rub off on one another. Duncan never made sense ever since he cheated on her — or maybe it dated before that event.

Courtney could tell that he was going to walk away and hold onto his promise. She wasn't finished. She didn't want to be finished.

"Why did you go to juvie?" she asked almost desperately. Her voice seemed to stand out noisily in the breezing park.

Duncan glared at her and took a few steps forward. "And why the hell should— ?" he started spitting out.

"Because you owe it to me. Since you never explained why you cheated on me — " her voice broke hard at that, and she didn't notice the amount of emotion that was threatening to burst out of her " — the least you could do is tell me why you went to juvie. That was the one part of your past you would never tell." And I respected your boundaries when whatever we were talking about almost led to that subject, she added internally.

For a moment there, he was about to get all defensive and run away again. He looked like he didn't know what to make of her. She didn't know, either; however, she embraced this temporary anomaly since it was helping her be strong in front of her weakness.

"Please, Duncan?" she whimpered. The breeze grew colder. "J-Just this once … can you — would you just answer me? Truthfully?"

His posture relaxed quite a bit. She perceived that he didn't move away from his current position. Two more steps, and they would be chest-to-chest.

"For a friend, Courtney," he said oh so quietly. She could hear him, though. The breeze was nothing to her right now.

Hearing his answer, or just hearing him answer her, made her willingly escape a small watery smile. Her eyes crinkled at the sides, and the action tempted the tears to fall out.

Because he was Duncan. His answer reverberated tremendously just how much of a good soul he could truly be. He could be selfless. He could be kind. He could understanding. And he actually had those traits.

He just chose to ignore them.

Still retaining that rare smile, she whispered, "Thank you."

Duncan sighed. He looked … weary. "Go home and rest. You're just gonna look even shittier if you stay out in the cold. Learn how to take care of yourself, Courtney," he scolded. "Jesus, it's even your freakin' birthday."

And with that, he was walking away but not necessarily running away.

he loved her rarity

Teal eyes snapped open.

He shot up from the bed and cursed out loud once an extreme case of vertigo gripped his head painfully. He took a few deep breaths before assessing his surroundings.

Well, it didn't take that much assessment.

"What the fuck am I doing in here?" Duncan muttered. Didn't I just see Courtney earlier? How the hell did I end up in her — ?

"I don't know, you tell me!"

He looked at the doorway and saw a shocked Courtney standing there with a Popsicle in her hand, wearing a pale blue T-shirt and white shorts.

I tell her to go home and rest, and she goes and wears short shorts. Why does she look all healthy now? She looked horrible earlier. What in the hell … ?

"Did I say something wrong at the park?" he asked her abruptly.

She slammed the door and immediately pointed a finger at him. "No!" she yelled. "You don't get to ask the questions. How the hell are you here?!"

He rolled his eyes. "Courtney, that's my — "

"You're supposed to be competing! Right now!"

"What? What the hell are you talking about? The meds you're taking making you even more batshit insane than usual or what?" he snapped, losing his patience. Damn, this headache was killing him!

His ex-girlfriend went on her bed with glowering eyes. "Excuse me, but you're supposed to be competing, are you not? Or did you suddenly get eliminated?" She smacked the side of his head. "Hello? Does Total Drama Action not ring any bells?"

Total Drama Action.

Action?

Total. Drama. Action?

TOTAL DRAMA FREAKIN' ACTION?

Only one answer to all this crazy. "Okay, where's Chris? Where's the cameras?" Duncan demanded, eyes flying about in the room.

She scoffed. "Shouldn't I be asking that?"

never gonna give you up:

sequel, anyone? hehehehe.

okay, so I was feeling some TDI-sickness and, most especially, some Duncney depression. Got inspired, so I relentlessly finished this up. hopefully, it's good. I personally think it's rushed crap.

as for the sequel, I've got ideas. my slow updates are one to deal with, though. I haven't updated this in two years, and once I do, it's the end of the story.

i digress.

the sequel will be short, too, obviously in Duncan's POV. This time, he will be facing his-not-yet-ex-girlfriend Courtney, which is during his pre-Gwen drama TDA days. to put it simply, he gets to see where Courtney started changing. Duncan never saw the effect Total Drama Island had on her personally. & blahblahblah.

hope you guys stick around. (if you are still there.)

Follow meh on tumblrrrr. my url is my pen name here. you can check my profile if you'd like.

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