Wow… a year passed that fast? I guess I'm one of those people who don't update, but hates it when other people don't update. Just want to say that I never really forgot about my story, but whenever I did remember it I was always doing other stuff, like working full time, or studying my little butt off in school. But thanks to all the people who stumbled upon this in the past year and reviewed, favorited it, or put it on author alert or story alert. You kept it in my mind, and ultimately it was that that made me get motivated to write it again.

So no promises for the future, but for now I'm going to try to write.

Again disclaimer: I'm not JKR, if I was I would never meet a deadline and the books wouldn't have been published.

Lupin had marched into Gringotts, up to a counter and opened his mouth to ask the goblin who was there who he could talk to. Before he could say anything though, the goblin simply said "follow me" then walked through a side door.

Remus followed the goblin, trying not to look as confused as he felt and soon sat down in the same chair Harry had occupied earlier that day. Another goblin sat down on the other side of the desk that was in front of him, and pulled out several files.

"Can you please tell me what is going on here?"

The goblin looked up at Remus and smirked. "I assume you received the letter that was sent to you on behalf of Lord Potter-Black, and therefore have read the duties required of a magical guardian. Lord Potter would like to make you his magical guardian, which would put you in charge of his assets, and Wizengamot seats, until he becomes of age. You will receive a considerable amount of money over the next year should you choose to accept. But whether you accept or not, once you leave this room you will not be able to speak of this to anyone without Lord Potter's permission, as was outlined in the privacy policy I described in my letter."

Remus stared back at the goblin, still trying to wrap his head around it. "Why me? I haven't been there for him at all. And how can I get in touch with him?"

Although the goblin would not reveal exactly what he and Harry had talked about in their meeting, he made it clear that Harry believed it was best that Lupin was his magical guardian, and explained that should he need to get in contact with Harry, Gringotts would handle the letters.

"So, will you accept this responsibility?"

"What? Oh! Of course." Lupin composed himself then said, "If I write a letter to Harry now, can you please make sure it is delivered to him?"

"Certainly."

Harry was pacing around the kitchen while Hedwig watched him. He was trying to understand everything that was going on around him, and wondering if he had made the right decisions. 'What if Fred and George betray me? No, I can't think that. They looked surprised when I told them what happened. They won't let something slip… will they? No. But what about Lupin? He's always thought he owed Dumbledore ever since school. It was stupid for me to think of him. But who else do I have?'

He constantly fought himself in his mind, debating whether he had made the right judgment. But his internal monologue was cut short when a scroll with a gringotts seal appeared on the table as he was walking past it.

Harry took a breath then walked over to it, and unrolled the scroll.

Harry,

I am so happy you would think of me, and will of course accept the responsibility as your magical guardian. Though I do not completely understand why you require this much secrecy, I respect that it is your right, and will not reveal what has transpired. No matter what happens, I know that your parents and Sirius would be proud of you, and that they are always watching down over you. I only wish to honor them and keep you safe—which I realize I have not done in the past. Please know that you can trust me, and you may call on me whenever you need.

Remus Lupin.

Harry was uncertain as he put the scroll down. He was relieved that Remus would willingly keep his secrets, and had agreed to become his magical guardian. Yet he could not help feeling the weight of the world weigh down upon him as he thought of his parents and Sirius. He had to make them proud. Despite what Lupin said, Harry could not imagine that they would be proud of him. In that moment, he made up his mind. He had to be better. He had to be stronger. He needed to be worthy.

For the next two weeks Harry read his new books almost constantly. He wanted to learn as many new spells as he could, since he didn't think Hogwarts would prepare him for what fate seemed to have in store for his future. But there were times he couldn't distract himself by simply reading and malicious thoughts followed him. Whenever he was eating, working out, trying to sleep, or pacing he was almost constantly berating himself.

It was better than it was at the Dursleys, but they had made an impression, and it stuck. He still wasn't good enough. He still wasn't worthy. He constantly debated over whether it was a good idea to trust the twins and even Lupin. He wondered if he could trust anyone at school. He hated himself for having to run away and hide. And the more he read, the more he realized he didn't know.

He often toyed with the knife he had brought from the Dursleys house, but always ended up throwing it against a wall before he had the chance to cut himself again. He was scared about what he might do to himself. Scared that he might lose control. Scared because he didn't understand what had happened the first time he cut himself. And scared that if it didn't happen again he would just be ordinary… and a cutter.

He had always heard about people cutting themselves and always thought he was above that—how could the boy who lived ever feel that badly about himself? But there he was, thinking about it, all the time.

So he distracted himself. He tried to keep reading, he tried to work out to get it better shape. He tried to just be better. If he was perfect then he might survive, he might stop Voldemort. Nothing short of perfection would do.

After two weeks of barely eating or sleeping, he realized that he was supposed to send Hedwig to the twins. He half-heartedly berated himself for forgetting then went to write a message to the twins.

Hey Fred and George,
Please burn this note after you read it, and send back Hedwig when you're done, she won't need an address she'll just come back to me. Hopefully you guys have some stuff for me. If you don't that's okay, just let me know if there is any progress, or if there is no hope for making some of the things I asked for.
Thank you,
Harry
P.S. If there is any news that you hear about Voldemort, or if there is any news about me going around the Order, please let me know. I hope I can still trust you two.

Finishing the note, he walked over to Hedwig and tied the note to her leg. "Okay girl, I need you to take this to the Weasley twins at their store in Diagon Alley. They might send something back with you, but it won't have an address on it. Be safe."

With that he walked over to the window with her on his shoulder, opened the window, and let her go. He watched her fly into the sunset, then turned around and lit the candles in the bedroom he was occupying with a flick of his wand. Despite what the twins had said, he still tried to limit his magic usage to small simple spells.

Through the books he had bought he was slowly becoming better at wordless magic. Despite his progress, he was too scared the ministry would find him to train with magic intensely.

Instead he trained physically and mentally. He drilled spells into his mind, and practiced the wand movements—but always ensured he didn't actually cast the spell. Then for hours on end he ran laps around the kitchen, ran up and down the many flights of stairs, lifted weight that Kreacher conjured for him, and pushed his body to the breaking point with different activities.

Every night for the past two weeks he had gone to bed exhausted, hoping that he would sleep through the night, but always ended up waking after an hour or two. Instead of going back to sleep, Harry got up immediately with his mind buzzing, and either continued training or reading.

If he pushed hard enough, he would be in control. He had to be.

AN: Okay, I know it's a short chapter, but hey at least I updated right? And now my mind is buzzing about what to do next. So hopefully I'll get another chapter up this week since I'm on spring break, and we'll see more of the twins, Harry's training, and maybe even some more blood runes ;) Who knows? This is as much an adventure for me as it is for you.

Then again, I might wake up tomorrow and read through this, then decide it is utter crap and try to rewrite it. But I tried to bring back some of the angst from the first two chapters, since that is an integral part of the story, and the other stuff was just to set up other things.

Again, please review. It helps keep me focused, and know if what I'm doing is good or not, or worth doing. Thank you all for reading, whether you like it or not :)