Never

A Regular Show One-Shot

All Characters and related content belong the J.G. Quintel and The Cartoon Network, Inc.

He didn't get it.

The question was, would he ever get it?

Rigby, the diminutive raccoon groundskeeper, sat in the Coffee Shop, a cup of warm Joe in is hand. Rigby spent a lot of his free time drinking "Joe with his bro", who was a six-foot-tall blue jay named Mordecai. However, today there was no "bros" drinking Joes. Just a little raccoon, contemplating his thoughts. As Rigby stared into his coffee, his thoughts drifted to Mordecai, the person who he considered his best friend. What was his deal with "her" anyway? The way he stared at her, the way he got nervous when she spoke, the way he always did silly things to impress her. Rigby didn't know too much about crushes or love, but he knew when someone had it bad for someone. And boy, did Mordecai have it bad for her.

"Enjoying your coffee?"

Rigby looked up at the source of the voice. It was "her", and her was Margaret, the red robin waitress and the proverbial apple of Mordecai's eye.

"Um, yeah," The raccoon said, taking a sip of his drink before setting the mug down. "Sure."

"That's good to hear. Do you need anything else, by the way?"

"No, no. I'm good."

"Okay."

The robin walked away from the raccoon, heading to another table to take the patron's order. Rigby stared back into his cup momentarily. It annoyed him the way she was so cheery, oblivious to the obviousness of Mordecai's affection. Rigby also felt annoyed at Mordecai, too. Why didn't he just man up and end this stupidity? He had many an opportunity to ask her out, but he never took them. It was as if the two birds were doomed to stay where they were; one set in a state of cheery obliviousness, the other in a state of restlessness. Well enough was enough.

Rigby was going to end this.

"Hey, Margaret. Actually, I do need something."

The robin turned around to, pulling out her notepad, and walked over to Rigby's table.

"What may I get you, Rigby?"

"I don't want any food. I wanna speak with you in private." His tone was somewhat gruff and uncaring.

"Um, sure. We're not busy right now."

Rigby got out of his booth and followed the robin to the kitchen. He observed her smile, sickening him with her oblivious expression. It only convinced him further of what he had to do.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"I want you to stop it."

Her smile falters a little.

"Stop what?"

"Stop all this messing around with Mordecai!"

"What do you mean?"

"Ugh, you're so oblivious! You still haven't gotten it yet?"

Confusion grips her features.

"I'm not sure I follow."

"Dude, Mordecai's hopelessly crushing on you! Always has been, and probably always will be. That guy would burn at a stake for you!"

She brings a wing to her beak in thought.

"I never knew-"

"Of course you didn't. You never did. And if it wasn't for me, you would've never known."

"Well, I'm sorry. If I would've known sooner, maybe I could've – you know – said something."

"Just forget it."

Rigby begins to walk away from Margaret. He exits the store, into the cold windiness of the night. As he started for home, he thought about the ordeal in the restaurant some more. Was there a reason why Mordecai would put himself through such emotional pain just to get with someone who probably wasn't very interested to begin with. It baffled the poor raccoon. As he kept walking, he could see his home not far away in the the distance. He looked around. The trees had lost nearly all of it's leaves, leaving them sad silhouettes of their former Springtime glory. Rigby continued for the house.

Mordecai the blue jay lay in bed, surrounded by empty boxes of tissues and a warm cloth on his forehead. Rigby walks in, smiling at his sick friend. He walks over to the bird's bed, giving his arm a pat.

"You okay, Mordecai?"

The bird coughs momentarily before answering.

"Don't worry about me, dude. Just get ready, because when I get better, I'm gonna totally own you in 'Strong Johns 2'!"

"We'll see about that, bird-brain."

The two friends exchanged "hmmms" for a moment, and then the room got quiet again. As Rigby prepared for bed, he thought about today one last time. He didn't get love, and probably never would . But he did know one thing, as he looked over at his friend, who had already dozed off.

He sure was in trouble when Mordecai finds out the Coffee Shop.

This is my first piece of Fan Fiction in over three years. I chose Regular Show because I've been pretty fascinated with the show ever since I watched the original pilot short for the "Cartoonstitute" back in March, and after reading some RS fiction, I decided to finally post something.

If you review, please make it a meaningful one. If you say the story's great, please give a reason why. If you don't like it, then so on.

I may post some more stories sometime in the future.