Don't worry, I'm still going to be updating Watch Me Burn. But this idea was bothering me. I wrote it in math class so sorry if it sucks.

PLEASE READ FIRST: This is AU, where they stayed on the island for 6 months (with Juliet joining them like she did in season 3) before getting rescued by Penny. This is after they've been off the island a month. It's meant to be slightly OOC, just something cute to distract your mind with. By the way, I don't own Lost, so please don't sue me. I don't have any money anyways.

The plan, at least to him, was simple. He and Juliet would pack their things and arrive at Jack and Kate's condo at 8:30, where they would eat breakfast before heading to the airport, and flying to Denver for some reunion that Hurley was throwing.

But, of course, when he tries to twist the knob, it sticks. No problem. Juliet has already retrieved the spare and they let themselves in, not for the first time. The place is cleaner than usual, but completely and utterly silent. No laughter coming from the kitchen, no "Hi Sawyer and Juliet". Nothing. Juliet wanders towards the kitchen, with Sawyer trailing behind her. "Jack? Kate?" Silence. Juliet casually opens the fridge and rummages around until she finds half of a bagel with cream cheese. Sawyer quickly glances in the other rooms, shouts their names up the stairs, but is met with stillness. He returns to find Juliet munching on her bagel. They stare at each other for a moment. Sawyer gives her his best puppy dog eyes. "No way. You've known them longer."

"Yeah, a whole 3 months, Blondie. You're gonna havta play me for it." Sawyer holds one hand flat with the other hovering above it in a fist.

"Fine, you're no good at this game anyways." Juliet decides, putting her bagel on the counter and mimicking his pose.

"Rock, paper, scissors," they say in unison. Sawyer groans as Juliet's fingers snip through his flat ones. "Best out of 3?" He tries. Juliet accepts, and promptly beats him again.

So he marches upstairs, because someone's gotta get them on this flight and Juliet was right, he's no good at rock, paper, scissors. He knocks on their bedroom door. "Guys, I'm coming in!" He swings the door open, only to find Jack and Kate, who were supposed to be dressed and serving them breakfast right now, spooning in bed together. His eyes travel to the night stand on Jack's side of the bed, where their alarm clock usually is. Instead, it lies on the ground, its' cables ripped from the wall. He mutters a string of curses under his breath. "Freckles! Doc! Get up right now!"

He's screaming at the top of his lungs, but the only reply he gets is Kate rubbing her eyes and lazily glancing up at him. "Sawyer? Go away, it's too early," she mutters, pulling the blankets up as she turns around in Jack's arms and closes her eyes again.

"No, it ain't. If you guys don't get up soon we'll miss our flight and I'm gonna be blamed for it." No reaction whatsoever. "Guys!" He screams, as he walks to the other side of the room to shut off the soft, relaxing music that they fall asleep to.

Jack opens one guy and gives Sawyer a weird look. "Get out of our house," he tells Sawyer, before returning to his earlier pose.

"Alright that's it, Jackass," Sawyer says, really to himself because Jack and Kate are back asleep. He walks to the edge of their bed and rips the blankets off of the couple. They groan in their sleep, Jack muttering a string of curses along with something that sounds like "Sawyer". But he pulls Kate closer for warmth, she curls her legs up to him and, unfortunately for Sawyer, neither seem too affected by it.

Sawyer reaches across their bed and tries to pull Kate's arm away from Jack. No luck. So he walks around the bed to Jack side, climbs onto his knees and starts peeling her fingers from Jack's arm. But she's got a vice grip of him, and the more he tries to loosen it, the more it tighens. "Ouch!" Jack exclaims, yanking his arm away from Kate and Sawyer, not opening his eyes once.

"Fine," he tells them, thinking out loud. "Ya know what? You guys are gettin' on this plane if it kills me." He finds a stack of medical-looking papers on their dresser and grabs a few, rolls them up and climbs onto their bed. He positions himself directly above their ears, takes a deep breath and screams into his makeshift megaphone. Both Jack and Kate are startled awake at once, jumping away from each other.

As soon as they come to their senses, Jack roughly shoves Sawyer off of them. "What the hell, Sawyer?" He exclaims, as he discovers the former con man on his bed with his blankets nowhere to be found.

"Jesus Christ, bout time you came back from the dead!" Sawyer ignores the looks they give him and crawls off their bed and heads for their closet. He reaches in, grabbing handfuls of clothes and tossing them in Jack and Kate's direction. A pair of Kate's jeans hit the still sleepy Jack in the face, causing him to send them flying back in Sawyer's direction, catching the side of his head as he turns around to face them. This, of course, causes Jack and Kate to giggle like school children. "Alright, ya had your fun now get your asses moving. The plane leaves in 2 hours."

They seem to be just realizing why Sawyer was in their bedroom in the first place, and scurry out of bed. Sawyer even swears he hears a "why didn't you wake us up sooner?" in there, as he slams the door on his way out. After all, he can only handle so much of Jack and Kate at a time and he's gotten his fill for a week, though they aren't even on the plane yet. Let alone in Denver, where they will stay for a whole eight days before returning to Los Angeles…with Jack and Kate in tow.

He is downstairs with Juliet, as they help themselves to their friends' fridge and pantry, for a full 10 minutes when he realizes that he left Jack and Kate alone, upstairs, in their bedroom, with the instructions to take off their clothes. Juliet seems to realize that fact at the same time as Sawyer does, and they share a brief panicked look before Sawyer drops his piece of toast and bolts upstairs, only to find the door locked.

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