A/N: So...I was pretty sure that I was never going to actually get around to revisiting this story but I was cleaning out some files and I stumbled across this epilogue that I had started a very long time ago. This epilogue not really a continuation of the story per say but is more a snap shot into the future and it's mostly just crazy amounts of fluff. That being said, I still thought I'd add it to the story since it sort of gives you an idea of how I imagine things turned out for this Santana and this Brittany. Anyway...enough rambling...hope it doesn't disappoint.
Epilogue
Santana wakes with a start. Groaning she rolls over and looks at the clock, the red glow and the numbers 2:01 seeming to taunt her. She flings one arm over her eyes trying to block out the red glow while she reaches to her left with the other arm. When her hand doesn't meet skin as she expects but instead falls flat on the bed she quickly opens her eyes again and looks around.
Brittany isn't beside her in the bed, Brittany isn't anywhere in the room. Santana sits up quickly, wondering if something has happened and that her exhaustion has caused her to sleep through it. She listens carefully and, when she doesn't hear anything, she almost lies back down and goes back to sleep, she's just so tired, but instead she begrudgingly slips out of the bed and in search of Brittany. It really is best that she check – she won't sleep right without knowing where the blonde is anyway.
Santana heads down the hallway and stops at the entrance to the room that had not too long ago been the guest room but that was now painted a soft purple with butterflies adorning the walls. Even as tired as she is, she can't help the smile that spreads across her lips as she glances into the room.
Brittany is sitting in the rocking chair by the window, rocking occasionally but mostly just staring, completely enamoured, with the bundle in her arms. The baby, for her part, seems to be sound asleep.
If someone had told her when she was sixteen years old that someday she would be married to Brittany, that someday they would have a child, she probably wouldn't have believed them. Although she's not really sure why – even then she hadn't really been able to imagine her life without Brittany in it. Santana could watch them, her wife and her week old daughter, forever but finally she whispers a soft, "hey," making her presence known. She takes a few steps into the room and asks, "What are you doing in here? You know the cradle is in our room for a reason right?"
"I didn't want to wake you." Brittany says simply, looking up to meet Santana eyes. "I couldn't sleep."
Santana nods before moving in to the room. She approaches her two girls, kissing the top of her wife's head and then the top of her daughter's head, before she settles on the ground in front of them – she's just too tired to remain standing. She pulls her knees to her chest and inches closer so that she can rest her feet lightly on top of Brittany's – she has an inexplicable need to make contact with her wife and that's the only contact that she can really manage from the ground.
Santana doesn't say anything, she just sits there, content for the moment. She knows that something is obviously up if Brittany can't sleep, especially considering Brittany's gotten even less sleep than Santana in the last week, but, as has always been the case with them, Santana is comfortable with simply waiting for Brittany to be ready to speak. Sometimes it takes her awhile but Brittany always tells Santana what is wrong.
The silence doesn't last long before Brittany, who has gone back to staring at the baby, whispers, "she's so perfect San."
Santana smiles at Brittany words. "Of course she is Britt," she tells her and she means it wholeheartedly. Santana used to think that it would be impossible to love someone as much as she loves Brittany but the second the doctor had placed the screaming baby in her arms, the second those blue eyes had blinked up at her and the wailing had quieted, she'd known that she'd been wrong. She'd never imagined herself as a mother but now, even after just a week, she can't imagine her life any other way.
"Can you believe she's ours?" Brittany asks, looking away from the baby and back at Santana again, her blue eyes searching for something.
"Sometimes I wonder if she's just some exhaustion induced hallucination," Santana teases lightly before getting more serious, "but then I just have to look at her to know. She's beautiful, just like you. She's perfect and she's definitely ours." Santana almost cringes at the sappiness of her words, if any of her friends could hear her now she'd never live it down, but the words are true, maybe some of the truest she's ever spoken.
"Ours," Brittany repeats, her voice verging on the faraway tone it sometimes gets. "San…" she murmurs softly, "Do you ever feel scared?"
Santana had been starting to drift off sitting there but at Brittany's words she instantly snaps to attention. "I guess sometimes I worry that I'm not going to be any good at being a mother but if you tell anyone I said that I'll deny it."
"You're not going to be good San, you're going to be great," Brittany smiles widely at her.
"Thanks B," Santana smiles back at her. She watches Brittany carefully a moment, trying to figure out exactly what is going on in her head. "You're going to be an amazing mother Brittany. You know that right?"
Brittany shrugs then, looking away from Santana. "I don't know. I'm scared." She says barely loud enough for Santana to hear.
And there it is, Santana thinks, the reason Brittany can't sleep. She knew she just had to wait for it come out. Santana moves forward, putting her hands on Brittany's knees to get her attention. "What are you scared of honey?"
"I don't want her to get hurt." Brittany reveals glancing away from the baby, her wide blue eyes meeting Santana's brown ones. "I don't want anybody to hurt her."
Santana sighs ever so slightly at Brittany's words. There are so many things that Brittany isn't saying but the words are enough for Santana to understand where she is coming from because she understands Brittany. Brittany doesn't want anything even remotely close to what happened to her to happen to their daughter.
Santana can't stop the spark of anger that instantly ignites within her at the reminder of Brittany's past. Even after all these years, remembering, knowing, what happened to her wife when she was a child, practically a baby herself, is enough to make Santana want to murder someone. Sure she's gotten better at coping with the anger over the years but it never really goes away, it always resurfaces. For now, she quickly stamps out her rage because that isn't what Brittany needs from her – maybe later, if she's not too tired, she'll go hit her punching bag a few times.
"Nobody is going to hurt her," Santana soothes, one of her hands reaching up to touch her daughter.
"You don't know that," Brittany's eyes are full of worry.
"I won't let them." Santana says fiercely. Just the thought of their daughter being hurt nearly gives Santana a panic attack.
"How can you stop them?" Brittany's words are soft again, barely a whisper and laced with fear.
"Oh Britt…" Santana murmurs. Sitting there she thinks about how everyone had assumed that she would be the over protective parent but how Brittany had been the one who hadn't wanted to let the baby out of her sight, the one who had insisted, crying practically hysterically, that they let her keep the baby in her room at the hospital, the one who hadn't been willing to let even her own mother hold the baby yet. Suddenly Santana thinks she understands. A lot of Brittany's actions over the last few weeks are starting to make sense. "Is this what the not letting anybody but me hold her is about?" She asks casually.
Brittany shrugs, "maybe." She chews on her lip for a minute before adding. "I know it makes no sense but I just get scared San. If she's just ours, if she just stays with us forever, we can protect her but I don't know if we can if she has to be other peoples too."
"I know it's hard Brittany but, well, I don't think we can just lock her in a tower." Santana smirks. "Although that sounds kind of appealing."
Brittany shakes her head. "No…I want her to see the world, I want to give her the world. It's just…hard." She sighs.
Santana squeezes Brittany's knees. "Well, she's only a week old, she doesn't need that much of the world yet. We can start slow. I mean, I'm pretty sure your mom isn't going to hurt her, my mom either," she tries.
Brittany shrugs.
"You know how much they love us, right?" When Brittany nods, Santana continues. "Well that's how much they love her too…actually, my mom probably loves her more than she loves me because, as she like to keep reminding me, I'm such a pain in the ass." She adds with a grin.
Brittany grins back. "But I like your ass."
"I like yours too Brittany," Santana shakes her head and laughs, grimacing when the baby stirs at the noise. She breathes out in relief when she doesn't actually wake up.
"I guess maybe our moms can hold her." Brittany finally decides.
Santana worries that Brittany still seems so uncertain but she tries to smile reassuringly anyway. "They'll be glad to hear that. We can just start with your mom if you want, we can call her in the morning."
"No." Brittany shakes her head and her frown disappears a bit. "We should call both of them."
"Okay," Santana nods. "In the morning, we'll call both of them. But, just so you know, my dad isn't touching her until her head isn't breakable anymore."
Brittany giggles at that and Santana is glad to see the smile that darts across her face.
"It's going to be okay Britt. I think being scared is part of being a parent, we'll figure out how to manage it…eventually," Santana tells her. "Or at least we better…or else I'm going to have a ton of grey hair and I can't rock that look."
"But you can rock any look San." Brittany tells her half serious half teasing.
"Why thank you dear," Santana smiles brightly as if she's just been offered the most stellar of compliments.
"You really think it's normal to be scared?" Brittany asks, her voice serious again.
"I do," Santana nods with equal seriousness. "I'm scared of stuff like all the time but being with you makes me less scared because you're the strongest person I know. Just look at everything you've accomplished. You probably could have just spent your life curled in a ball in fear and everyone would have agreed that that was justified but instead you're you. Pure sunshine." It's the truth. Brittany has accomplished so much and she's only gotten stronger over the years. She hardly ever even has nightmares anymore and, until tonight, Santana couldn't even think of the last time that her past had come up. Brittany amazes her.
"I wouldn't have accomplished anything if it weren't for you. I love you so much." Brittany answers without pause, smiling easily at Santana.
"I love you too Britt. So much, I love you so much." Santana returns the smile.
The baby stirs in her arms and Brittany leans down to kiss her cheek. "We're you feeling left out? We love you too baby."
Still smiling, Santana stands up and kisses the baby's other cheek "we love you to the moon and back," she murmurs before leaning in and kissing Brittany on the lips.
"San…" Brittany starts when Santana pulls back. "Thanks. You always make it better."
"It's my job," Santana shrugs nonchalantly. Having a child might change a lot of things but it doesn't change that. She knows without a doubt that she will spend the rest of her life doing whatever is necessary to make Brittany happy because Brittany being happy makes her happy. "Now let's go to bed, I'm tired."
Brittany nods and that's just what they do, at least until the baby wakes them up a few hours later.