This can't be happening...this can't be happening...

Nikk kept repeating the words over and over again in his mind so maybe, eventually, everything would turn out to be one huge mistake. But the longer he looked, the longer he watched as Cilghal, a med droid and two nurses worked on his best friend, he knew that it was all too real.

That it was all too late.

They were losing him.

And by the looks of things, there was nothing they could do for him.

Eliziya stood as close by as Cilghal would let her, trying to peek over the Mon Cal's shoulder or catch a glimpse when she moved aside. She was nervous, trembling from head to toe as she waited, just like him, for some good news. But unlike Eliziya, he wasn't clinging to a last thread of hope.

He was letting go.

He didn't have a choice. If he didn't let go he'd be sucked right back into that black pit of despair he'd once called his home and he was in no mood for another hello-how-are-ya with that dark part of his mind.

"Liz." Nikk said quietly, slowly approaching the young woman from behind.

She shook her head and he had to hand it to her – she was keeping it together. Strong and in control, Eliziya stood and watched, waited for whatever was going to be the outcome. Ever the optimist, ever hopeful.

Her hand was clenched around the silver pendant that hung on a silver chain around her neck, the same one Kyp had had clasped in his hands when they'd brought him in. It had taken a sedative to pry the piece of jewelry from his limp fingers, otherwise he wouldn't have let go. At the time Nikk hadn't realized that it had been a gift from Eliziya.

This was awful. Beyond awful.

Things weren't supposed to turn out this way. Kyp was supposed to be happy and finally…finally find peace after all the sithspit he'd had to endure.

Death hadn't been on the menu.

Nikk shook his head sadly. No one expected to die, even when you knew you had to, no one expected Death to come knocking on your door with a big fat welcoming wagon.

He placed a hand on Eliziya's shoulder and felt her stiffen under his touch. Through the Force, he felt that her shell was beginning to crack. He could almost see the fissures running along, widening until the only thing that was left was her vulnerable self.

And reality.

"Gods Liz…I'm sorry."

She shook her head, strands of thick brown hair sticking to her tear streaked face. "It's not over yet. They're not done. Maybe…"

But her voice trailed off because she knew that her hope was a lost one. Nikk squeezed her shoulder, his heart breaking as he watched Cilghal do what she could. But not even a Jedi Healer could work a miracle.

The monitoring system silenced. The blaring alarms cut off, replaced by a monotonous even flat tone.

By the Force…

Nikk swallowed a lump in his throat.

His best friend…his only friend…was dead.

"No." He heard Eliziya's quiet gasp as they both watched Cilghal step away from the medical bed.

The silver chain came loose around Eliziya's neck. The pendant, so elegantly beautiful, dropped to the floor at the same moment Cilghal officially declared Jedi Durron's death.

Wasn't there a saying that right before you died your life flashed before your eyes? She'd heard it said a million times before and Eliziya had always wondered what she would see once her time was up. If she would see anything at all because her life was average. Up to a point at least. Nothing big besides a crazy Mom and an overprotective brother. Just day to day stupid stuff to pass the time.

Until she'd met Kyp.

Kyp had changed everything.

Eliziya blinked.

Why the hell was she even thinking about that stupid saying anyway?

What she wanted to know was what happened when the person who turned out to mean everything to you suddenly blinked out of existence. Just like that. In a heartbeat. In the blink of an eye.

Gone.

Forever.

Eliziya expected something to happen. Anything.

Because this was big. This was huge.

And this was all so kriffing wrong.

One last beat of the heart, one last intake of breath and…that was it?

"No." Eliziya shook her head. Nikk's heavy hand squeezed her shoulder as he inched closer, probably thinking his presence could sooth her.

Almost entranced, Eliziya watched as the Jedi Healer stepped away from Kyp. So this was really it? Just like that a beautiful life was snuffed out and this was all they had to show for it? They were turning their backs on him?

"No!" Eliziya yelled, shrugging away from Nikk. "You can't just leave him like this!"

The Jedi Healer turned her way, bulbous eyes lowered. "I am sorry." She said in a quiet, watery voice, shoulders slumping. "There is nothing more we can do. Not even the Force can heal that which does not want to be healed."

The Mon Cal could just as well have punched her in the face, broken her nose and added a headbutt for good measure. Not only was Eliziya completely stumped and shocked at what the Healer said but the words brought along a sort of pain that burned through her veins and broke out all over her skin. She couldn't even begin to describe how angry she suddenly was.

So death had become so normal to these people that they didn't seem to care anymore?

Kriff. That.

"Run that by me again." Eliziya whispered in a dangerously low tone, dark eyes pinned on the Jedi Healer.

Oh, she suddenly felt the need to smash her fist into something hard. Multiple times. Over and over and over again.

This was unbelievable.

"An organism at war with itself is doomed." The Jedi Healer said. "I am saddened by this. As are we all."

"Saddened?" Eliziya echoed in a high pitched voice, unable to comprehend that these Jedi, supposedly the greatest baddest sons-of-siths out there, were giving up…on the man she loved. "That's all you have to say? That you're saddened?"

It was like someone had pulled the floor from beneath her feet. She was falling through an endless black tunnel, arms and legs flailing while she tried to grab on to the light. But seemed light wasn't interested. The more she reached out to grab it, the further away it went. Until there was nothing left but despair.

It took hold of her mind, of her heart. Despair washed away everything that was good and it left behind only anger and pain.

And it was too much to bear.

She heard Nikk's voice. She knew he was trying to console her, console himself but…no…there would be no consoling. Because Eliziya would not accept Kyp's death. She would not accept Cilghal's reasoning.

"He can't die." Eliziya whispered.

"Liz…I'm sorry." Nikk said from behind her. She felt his hands on her shoulders. "But…it's over."

Just a nicer way of saying that he was dead, that he was never coming back.

"Stop it!" She whirled around on him, hands balled into tight fists at her side. She imagined pushing him, slamming those fists into his chest just to let go of her anger – and suddenly Nikk stumbled back.

He gaped at her, blinked a few times. And then he slowly extended a hand, palm up. "Eliziya. You need to calm the hell down."

"Kriff calming down!"

How the hell could he even think about calming down?

This was so not a time to be calm.

For the first time in her life she'd finally met someone who made her laugh, a person she could open up to; she didn't have to pretend to be someone else around him. But that was all over with now, wasn't it?

She took a step towards his unmoving body; her fingers found his hand, rough and calloused. She noticed that his nails had been broken. Must have hurt something awful, Eliziya thought while she ran her thumb along his knuckles. His wounds would never heal.

Kyp's last words to her were forever burned into her heart. Had he loved her? Would they have been happy together?

Eliziya swallowed as a sob caught in her throat.

They would have been perfect together.

"It wasn't supposed to end this way, Kyp." She let the tears go. "Not like this."

Leaning forward, Eliziya kissed his cheek. His skin was still warm. But soon he'd be cold and stiff like a block of ice.

The thought nearly made her gag.

Her tears pearled down the side of his face as her lips wandered to the tip of his nose, to each eye and then she hovered above his lips.

His last words echoed through her mind again. No one had ever said such loving and kind words to her before. No one had ever made her feel special before. But Kyp…Gods, he was amazing. Kyp was hers.

And now he was dead.

But he'd asked for forgiveness.

And so she would grant it.

Eliziya touched her forehead to his. "This is my gift to you." She whispered softly. "I have nothing else to give. You've already taken my heart." It was beyond difficult to keep her voice steady but she managed. "I forgive you." She said against his lips.

She kissed him.

One last kiss good-bye.

"I love you."

Her lips lingered on his and when she finally backed away, she couldn't stop herself from crying. Pain slapped into her from all fronts and it nearly brought her to her knees.

She knew Nikk had stepped up behind her. His presence was her rock in all this.

Eliziya looked over her shoulder and met his bright blue eyes. He was hurting, just like she was.

He'd just lost his best friend.

Eliziya had possibly lost the love of her life.

"It's time to go." Nikk whispered, extending his hand.

She turned back to Kyp, burning his features into her memory. She would never forget him. She couldn't. And she would mourn him for as long as it took for the pain to fade away.

Somehow she knew it would take forever.

Pulling herself together, Eliziya took a deep, quivering breath and stepped away. Her fingers slipped from Kyp's hand and then it was done.

She'd said good-bye.

And then she kriffing lost it.