I sat in my baby blue aquarium themed bathroom with a timer, waiting. The silence of the wait was unbearable, but I didn't ever want it to be broken. I didn't want the timer to go off, or look at that evil test. I didn't want to be pregnant. However, I had to pick it up once the timer went off. I had to face the music. With shaking hands, I picked up the white and purple stick that was about to tell me what the rest of my life would look like. I put the test up to my face, but i squeezed my eyes shut out of instinct. I forced myself to open them though, and I saw those eight letters. The eight letters that every teenage girl and that girl's boyfriend dread and never want to hear. Those eight letters that come up in the worst nightmares and happen to the best and worst of people at the worst time: PREGNANT.
Tears swelled up in my eyes as my lips curled into a frown and I started to cry my eyes out. I wanted to dramatically scream "NO!" at the top of my lungs, but our neighbors were already filing a noise complaint because of my singing. Instead of that, I threw the pregnancy test against the wall that left a small depression in the wall. The dolphin decals that were on various parts of the room seemed to stop smiling and frown at me, as if disappointed. How could I let myself become Quinn? How could I let myself sleep with Puck? God I am such an idiot! I didn't know who I could turn to. I could turn to Quinn-but she would either ignore me or laugh at me, not letting me remind her that only seven mere months ago she was that girl. The one who made a mistake and had a child. A child that she gave up.
That was another thing I would have to consider: what should I do? I had three choices, abortion, adoption, and being a teenage mother. But when I thought about it again, I quickly said no to abortion. I mean that is the easy ticket out, but when you think about it, it was like murdering a little me. I mean, this little life inside me could have the potential to be a famous star, athlete, genius, anything. When I thought about abortion, all that I could think about was Jesse and his friends from Vocal Adrenaline smashing the poor eggs against me. Their lives were over to. I wasn't going to do that to my baby. MY baby. It sounded strange as I re-thought the words over and over again. Would I be like Quinn and give up the baby for adoption and then try to regain my reputation? Or would I be like MY mother Shelby. She told me that there was this un-deniable void in her life, and that she cracked when she saw me for the first time, besides when I wa born. Would I have to go through an awkward reunion with my child like Shelby did, and then get out of my child's life again? I mean, that would be the only way to be the next Barbara Streisand was to give up the baby and forget about it. All the thoughts going through my head started to make my head pound. I felt like I was on fire. I didn't know what to do. I just kept on thinking: What Would Barbara Do? I knew the answer to that though: Not have sex before she was married, or until she was out of high school or college. Suddenly my phone rang, and "Defying Gravity" started to play. Te sound made my head pound even more. In honor of Wicked, I had read all of the books. They didn't tell you it in the musical, but in the second book, the book is about Elphaba's son. Her unwanted son. At least, that's what I remember.
"Hello?" I asked wearily into the mouthpiece. No one answered. I only heard breathing. "Hello?" I asked again. I suddenly heard a knock on the door, so I quickly hid the pregnancy test under some blankets and opened up the door. I practically fainted from all the excitement. It was Jesse. He was smiling at first, and then it faded. He wasn't frowning, he was just emotionless.
"Rachel?" He asked "You don't look so good." I didn't know what to do. I already had sadness, anger, and hurt going around in my veins, and now I had all of those feelings again, and surprise. He abandoned me and the glee club, threw eggs at me, and I still loved him. "Oh my god!" He said. I didn't know why, but suddenly I was looking up at the ceiling, and then Jesse's face. I had practically fainted-again. He gently lifted me up, his arms around my waist. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah it's just-you-here-now." I said. Then, the anger rushed through me again. "What the hell are you even doing here? You left me, threw DEAD CHICKS AT MY HEAD, and you used me!"
"That's sort of what I came here to talk about..." He said closing the door and helping me over to the couch. "But first, why do you look like you've been crying?" He asked, his hand resting on my tear-stricken cheek. The familiar touch of his hand surprised my senses, and then sunk in again.
"Because I have been." I replied, tears slowly forming in my eyes again. He turned his head, waiting for an explanation. "Jesse, I can't tell you. How can I?"
He looked at me apologetically, and then spoke. "I left because of your mother. Whenever she saw me, she could sense you. Your smell, your lip-gloss on my cheek, and she couldn't stand it."
"So you gave up our relationship and you think that it gives you the right to throw eggs at me and trash our choir room?" I yelled
"No. It's just, music is my life. I did this so I could stay in Vocal Adrenaline. Ms. Corcoran threatened to kick me out if I didn't, and without Vocal Adrenaline, I couldn't get my scholarship to the University of Los Angeles. I didn't expect for our relationship to get in so deep, or for me to fall in love with you. I'm sorry Rachel, I really am." I looked into his eyes, searching for the truth, and his eyes didn't lie. I quickly pushed all of my hate and spite aside and hugged Jesse. It felt so good to hold him again. But of course, he let go.
"Now, you tell me. Why were you crying?" This spiraled me into crying again and I hugged Jesse even tighter.
"Because I'm stupid!" I cried
"No you're not! Now tell me, what's the problem?"
"Oh god. Um, you remember Quinn right?" I asked, sniffling
"Fabray? Yes."
"And you remember that her and Puck had a little girl?"
"Yes."
"Um, they broke up after that, and I learned something bad about Finn, so we broke up, and me and Puck started to go out again and-"
"You mean?" He asked. I nodded and cried harder and louder. "Rachel, I know that in the past we had some rough times, but I promise you, I'm not going to leave you. I'll stand by you."